by LL Collins
Devin laughed, climbing into the cab of the truck, his car on a trailer behind him and his pride and joy—his motorcycle—tucked safely inside the U-Haul. He was ready. Ready to start over again, be part of a new challenge, and try again to see if he could keep the demons at bay. “See you around, Ellis,” he called out the window, taking one last look at his small house before driving off into the sunset.
Justin stared at his phone, tapping his fingers nervously on the table next to him. He needed to fix this. He had royally screwed up. Damn temper. It always got the best of him. He needed to find a way to get through to Rachel. He never picked strong-willed, independent girls like her. That was too hard, took too much to break them. But when he saw her that night in that shithole bar, he just had to have her. Then, when she wouldn’t let him stay the night? Oh, he knew then. He had to make this one believe him. She would have to be tamed.
He had been such an idiot at the sports bar with her friends. Now they probably thought he was an asshole and would tell her to forget him. You’re supposed to play it smooth, he thought to himself. But he was good at this. The romance. The seducing. It was all part of his game. But he had to figure out how to get past her wall. He had never been with someone so headstrong. And he had let her leave last night! What was wrong with him? Was he getting soft?
The key was to convince her that she needed him, wanted him. That he was very, very sorry. With a woman like Rachel, he wasn’t sure how that was going to work. He may be in over his head this time. He wished he could get to her friend. What was her name? Kayley? The one with the hot shot doctor husband. He had liked him, too, and that other guy, even though he didn’t get much time to talk to them because of his idiotic temper.
Standing up, he paced the room of his small apartment. It was a furnished place, necessary because he didn’t bring anything with him when he left Alabama. Those things were best left there. It may just be easier to go find another girl, but he knew he wouldn’t. He wanted Rachel. She was hot as hell and the sex with her was beyond his wildest imagination. She was the one that he was going to be with. Plus, he had convinced her before to give him a chance when she wouldn’t even let him spend the night. Now, she was dating him. Well, she had been dating him. Who knows what she was thinking now. She was ignoring him. And while he knew he could just jump in his truck and head to her house, he was waiting it out. Planning. He was going to get to her, he just had to figure out the best way. Because breaking her was going to be worth all of the effort. He just had to be sure not to screw it up again.
He couldn’t believe his luck. Here he was, shopping at the local grocery store, when in walked Rachel’s friend. She was holding the hand of a small girl, with a small boy in tow, then a baby in a carrier in the cart. She had her hands full. Good. He could convince her easily. She’d be distracted and need to get home. He could only hope the baby would start wailing. Or the little boy would break something.
She turned down an aisle and he hurried down the opposite one, so they could run into each other at the end. This was the key. If Rachel was like every other woman, she listened to her friends. Especially this one.
He rounded the corner, almost running into Kayley, just as he planned. She halted the cart, making a small sound of surprise as she almost hit him. “I’m so sorry,” Kayley apologized. Justin looked into the faces of the little kids walking next to her. Cute kids. The baby kicked in the car seat. Another girl. Just then, Kayley recognized him. He played dumb, like he didn’t remember her. All part of the plan.
“Justin?” Kayley’s eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to place him.
He smiled. “Yes! You are—Kayley, right?” He fist bumped himself inside. Perfect.
Kayley smiled back at him, and the two little kids smiled at him, too. “I was wanting to get in touch with you! Of course, I had no idea how.”
She wanted to get in touch with him? Wow. If only she knew. Wait. If she wanted to get in touch with him, then it couldn’t be good. Rachel must’ve told her she was done with him.
“Really?” Justin grinned. He knew he was a good looking man, and even though she was married, he knew that she wouldn’t be immune to his charm. He decided to go in for the kill. “Listen, Kayley. I wanted to apologize for my behavior at the restaurant. I care for Rachel, and I was jealous of that guy hitting on her. Even though she was shooting him down, I just instantly thought that she would find someone better than me. And see, I just want to be with her. There’s just something about her, you know?” He was laying it on thick, and he knew it.
“I get it,” Kayley smiled, looking down at the two small children standing silently next to her. “And I believe you. Rachel is a great catch. But, you can’t let things like that get to you. She’s a beautiful woman and will naturally attract people to her. You have to decide if you can handle that.”
Justin ran his hand through his hair, exhaling dramatically. “I know. When I met her, I was just drawn to her. And I’ve worked really hard to try to convince her to let me keep seeing her. I feel like she will easily dismiss us without even trying.”
Kayley reached over and caressed her baby’s head, who was sleeping peacefully. “Justin,” she began. “I don’t want to give away too much, and I really can’t because I don’t know the whole story, but I know that Rachel is the way that she is for a reason. She doesn’t want to even tell me. But she’s been hurt badly in the past, and I just want to see her happy. So her natural inclination to push you away is what she does to everyone. If you are really, truly in this for the long haul and you care about her, then you need to prove it to her. You need to show her beyond anything else that you are there for her. She deserves that.”
He bit the inside of his cheek. He would show her, alright. Just like he showed Alana. She wasn’t nearly the effort that this one was, though. “What can I do? Any suggestions?”
The little boy started squirming. “Mommy, potty,” he said.
Kayley gave him apologetic look. “Sorry, Justin. I have to go. All I can say to you is—show her. Do something special to make her believe that this was a fluke thing, that you care about her. She’s headstrong but she also wants to feel cared about. And talk to her.”
Justin watched her walk away, the little girl turning back every once and a while to look at him. Pushing the cart aimlessly up and down the aisles, he no longer could think about what he was there for and could only think about what Rachel’s friend said. Something had happened to her, she wants to be cared for, do something special. So she was vulnerable somewhere. She wanted the romance and roses, like all women.
A smile crossed his face as a plan started in motion in his head. Oh yeah. He was going to win her over, and before he knew it, she’d be putty in his hands.
Rachel set the phone back in the receiver, taking a deep breath. It had been an insane day. The phone had rung off the hook, she had computer issues, and had tons of new patients with paperwork to fill out and insurance cards to take. She was glad it was over. It had been three days since she talked to Justin, and he had finally given up on contacting her. She was looking forward to going home, pouring herself a nice glass of wine, and watching mindless television. She was exhausted.
Powering down her computer and tidying her desk, she made sure the front door was locked and the lobby straightened, then headed out through the therapy room to the back door.
“Bye, Jess,” she called out across the room. Jessica was putting away her therapy equipment. She looked up and smiled at Rachel.
“See you Monday,” she responded, giving her a slight wave. “Let me know if you want to do anything this weekend. Like go catch some new guys.”
Rachel laughed. “Will do. I may have had my fill of guys for a while, though.”
Jessica looked at her pointedly. “Oh really? Should I mark that down?”
Rachel pushed open the door and the inferno that was the Florida sun blasted her in the face. There was no such thing as fall here. “Ha, ha. Funny. I’ll talk
to you later, Jess.”
As she pushed the door shut and turned to walk to her car, she stopped dead in her tracks. Leaning up next to her car was Justin, looking edible in a pair of ripped jeans, a tight fitted tee shirt, and a pair of aviator sunglasses that he put up on top of his head as he saw her. He looked apprehensive as his eyes connected with hers, and she felt the familiar tug in her stomach when she saw him.
He stepped towards her when he realized she wasn’t moving. “Rachel,” he began uncertainly. “I …”
“What are you doing here?” Rachel interrupted, crossing her arms in front of her chest to keep him from seeing how much he was affecting her. Her hands were shaking and she couldn’t decide if she was excited to see him or angry. She was used to guys just moving on and not coming back if she pushed them away. He was walking towards her. He would be right in front of her soon. She was mad at him. She was furious. He hurt her. He embarrassed her. No one got away with doing that. She didn’t need him. Then why was her heart racing?
Justin stopped in front of her, so close that his toes could almost touch hers. She could see the flecks in his eyes and the curve of his eyelashes. His warm breath washed over her. He smelled of mint. He reached out his hands to touch her, and she tensed.
He sighed, putting his hands down. “I deserve that,” he murmured. “Rachel, I can’t ever apologize enough for what I did. I was a jealous asshole. I embarrassed you and myself in front of your friends. I laid my hands on this beautiful body for something other than your pleasure. There’s no excuse for my behavior. All I can say is that I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you. I just went a little crazy over you. I know that’s no reason to do what I did, but I know that you haven’t wanted a relationship with me. I’ve pushed you into it this whole time. So when I saw you with that guy at the bar, I just figured that you would move on, dump me, and find someone else. Rachel, please forgive me. I will never, ever do something like that again.”
Rachel studied him, letting the words sink into her soul, feeling them out. She searched his eyes, wondering if what he was saying was the truth. He really liked her? He was afraid to lose her? Did he mean that? She had a hard time believing that was the truth, because there was only one other man in her life that had cared about her that way, and at the end of it all it hadn’t been enough. She knew that if she continued this with Justin, she’d only mess it up. It was her track record.
“Thank you,” she started, her voice shaky. “I’m glad you said that and came here to see me. I’m sorry I’ve been a bitch and refused to talk to you. I had to work it out in my own head. I accept your apology, I do. I just don’t know if this is going to work. I have my own share of issues, and there are reasons behind why I am always hesitant to start a relationship with anyone. I just don’t think I’m the person you are looking for. I’m not a forever kind of girl.”
Justin cupped her face with his hands, and she had to fight not to close her eyes. He felt so good, warm. His natural scent infiltrated her nose and tears pricked behind her eyes. She really did want someone to love her, care for her. But she also knew that she didn’t deserve it. She would only crush him in the end.
“Please,” he leaned in and brushed his lips to hers, and she struggled not to whimper. It was the sweetest, most gentle kiss she had felt since him. Since the last time she felt loved. Things with Justin had never been sweet or gentle. They were always hot and rough and quick. “Give me another shot. I know you say you aren’t a commitment kind of girl, and whenever you are ready, I want to know why you feel that way. But for now, can we just try? I want to take care of you, Rachel. I want to treat you like a queen, because you deserve that.”
Rachel studied his face, her heart constricting at his words. He seemed like he was being honest. As much as she knew it was probably the wrong move, and she would end up annihilating someone else, the pull for her to feel love and acceptance from someone again was seeping through her like a drug.
“I’d like to try,” Rachel whispered, reaching up to touch his face. “Thank you for caring about me.” She lifted up to touch his lips, allowing herself to feel the emotion that was surging through her. Someone cared enough about her to fight for her. That hadn’t happened for her in a long time. She had always been successful in keeping men at arm’s length. Hell, she kept everyone at arm’s length, even her best friends.
Justin grabbed her, pulling her to his body tightly, and buried his face in her neck. “Baby,” he breathed, kissing her softly behind her ear. “You just made me so happy. I’m so glad you took me back. I have a surprise for you.”
Rachel leaned back to look at him. “A surprise?”
Justin grinned, a lopsided boyish grin that made her stomach flop. “I guess I was hoping that you’d give me a chance. I took a big leap of faith that I could get through to you. Now, come with me. Please. Is your car okay here?”
Rachel looked at her car, her brain not able to process all that was happening here. Justin was taking her somewhere. He wanted her. “Uh …” She ran her hand through her hair. She shook her head, trying to clear her muddled thoughts. “Yes, it’s fine. How long will I be leaving it here?”
Justin smirked, grasping her hand tightly. “For the weekend. I’ll bring you back here for work Monday morning.”
Rachel’s mouth dropped open. “We’re going somewhere for the weekend? Really?”
Justin led her to his truck, opening the door for her and kissing her softly before she slid in. She watched as he walked around to the driver’s seat, his eyes never leaving hers. Her pulse quickened at the heady look in his eyes, and she knew that their weekend would be amazing, no matter where they were going.
“Close your eyes,” Justin whispered into her ear. She shivered immediately and listened. She couldn’t believe he did this. The part of her that never believed that anyone truly cared for her reminded her of his angry, flashing eyes dragging her by the arm out of the restaurant, all because a guy had talked to her, and the bruises that still discolored her arm. The word slut coming out of his mouth. She knew she couldn’t just let it go and move on without talking to him about it.
“Justin,” she began, her eyes still closed. She could feel him turn to look at her, and he cupped her face gently with his big, calloused hands. The same hand that had squeezed her arm in anger. He brushed his lips gently against hers, and she felt the tingle all the way to her toes.
“Yes?” his breath whispered over her, making her stomach clench. Could she really do this?
“I—I need to tell you something,” she began, and he dropped his hands from her but remained close enough that she could feel him. “Can I open my eyes for a minute?”
Justin hesitated, resting his hands on hers. “You’ll see the surprise if you open, but it seems important so go ahead. I’m listening.”
Rachel blinked open her eyes, taking in her surroundings. They were parked at one of the most prestigious hotels on the beach. Enormous white towers stretched into the clear Florida sky, gleaming in the sun. She could just make out the blue waves crashing gently on the shoreline. People milled everywhere, walking the beach and in and out of the large resort. “Justin,” she breathed. “This is too much. You didn’t …”
“I did,” he interrupted. “I did need to do this for you, Rachel. You need to believe that you are worth more than a no strings attached, no complications relationship. Now, tell me what’s on your mind so we can go enjoy our weekend.”
Rachel looked into the depths of those chocolate colored eyes, staring so intently at her while he waited for what she was going to say. “What happened at Fanz the other night? It can’t ever happen again, Justin. If you ever, ever lay a hand on me again, we’re done. I’m not a cheater. I may be many things, but not that. So I don’t need you getting all territorial and jealous about someone talking to me, okay? That’s a huge deal breaker for me.” Rachel pushed up the sleeve of her shirt to show the bruises around her arm. “See this? You hurt me, Justin. Someone who
cares about someone else doesn’t leave marks like this. So if you really, truly want to see where things go from here, I need your promise. Never again.”
Justin reached out and gently traced her bruises with his rough fingertips. Something flashed in his eyes as he lifted his eyes and met hers, but she couldn’t quite tell if it was sadness, regret, or something else. “I’m so sorry, Rachel,” he whispered, leaning over the console and pressing his warm lips to her arm. “I was so crazy over you I lost my head. I want so much to move forward with you, see what we have. I have no idea why that guy made me react the way I did. I embarrassed you and myself. I hope you – and your friends—can forgive me for my horrible behavior. I never want to hurt you, baby. I just don’t want to share you.”
Rachel studied him, letting his words sink in. “I told you, Justin. I’m not a cheater. If I don’t want to see you anymore, I will tell you. So, we’re good, then?”
Justin pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. “Yes. It will never happen again. Now, let’s get to our amazing weekend.”
Rachel watched him as he swung the truck door open and hopped down, turning back to give her that killer smile once he saw that she was watching him. She hoped that what he said was true, and he truly did understand. She wasn’t playing that game with him, no matter how sexy he was.
Rachel sat by the pool in a chaise lounge, tapping her toes to the beat of the music playing on the deck, sipping a fruity drink, and watching Justin swim in the pool. His cut arms sliced through the water with ease, and every once and a while his head would bob up to the surface and grin at her, splashing a little water on her legs. And every time, she would smile back at him, put her glasses down a little so he could see her eyes, and laugh. It was a fun little flirtatious game they were playing, and it made her feel young and sexy. The pool deck was pretty full, with couples, families, and friends enjoying the beautiful afternoon. Rachel forced her eyes from Justin and scanned the deck, people watching. She wondered if others were people watching too and looking at her and Justin. If they were, what were they thinking? Did they think they were a couple, one that had just gotten together or that had been together a long time? She was sure that many of the women here at the pool had noticed Justin. It was hard not to. He turned heads everywhere he went, and being at a pool next to the beach meant he was half naked and very easy on the eyes.