by Rosie Clarke
‘Good, I’ll be glad to see her; there’s something I need to talk to her about. I just hope she’ll be all right, though the American flag should safeguard the ship.’ Ben frowned and took some papers from his briefcase. ‘I wanted to check our balance at the bank, but they’re closed. I hope it won’t be for long.’
She nodded, understanding his concern. ‘I doubt they will close many days – we all need access to our money.’
‘I’m glad I don’t have shares to worry about.’ He placed his papers on the table and she looked over his shoulder.
‘Are they the final drawings for the fittings for the extension?’
‘Yes, they’ve turned out rather well,’ Ben said, ‘but it almost seems wrong to be thinking about this now, Sally. I know everyone is saying this war thing will be over in months, but it still means young men will die and I felt pretty rotten sending them all off when I’ll be safe at home…’
‘Ben, don’t,’ Sally said sharply. ‘We agreed that it would be foolish for you to rush off and join up. They will have thousands of volunteers, many of whom will probably never see the outside of a training camp if it all fizzles out in a few weeks.’
‘But will it?’ Ben said. ‘I was talking to a man I know; he’s a friend of Jenni’s husband and over here on some diplomatic mission – he’s a senior General in the American army and he told me in confidence that he believes the German army to be stronger than we in Britain believed possible. It might mean that things don’t go our way quite as swiftly as we think…’
‘What about the French army and the Russians?’ Sally said. ‘The papers have been saying that the French are the elite cavalry and very efficient fighters. Surely, they won’t just roll over and let the Germans push them aside. We shan’t be on our own.’
Ben nodded, but the worried look didn’t leave his eyes. ‘I spoke to a few of the men personally, the first to let us know they were leaving – and that’s why I called the meeting, because I knew they would want to go and would worry about what happens afterwards. I reassured them their jobs will be waiting – I just hope they come back for them…’
Sally shivered because his words chilled her. The papers were so confident it would be easy and yet Ben’s friend was hinting that it might be much worse than anyone imagined. She cocked her head to one side as she heard her baby start to cry again.
‘She sounds really upset, Ben. Do you think the doctor will think I’m a silly mother fussing for nothing if I ring him?’
‘If you don’t, I shall,’ Ben said. ‘She’s our little princess, Sally. I don’t want her suffering even from a tummy upset if some medicine can help.’ He went through to Jenny as he spoke. She didn’t stop crying as soon as he picked her up, which was unusual and made Sally even more anxious.
‘I’ll ring him now.’ Sally went out into the hall and took the earpiece, speaking into the telephone as the operator came on. She gave the number she needed and was told to hold on while she was connected. Several rings later, the phone was answered.
‘Doctor Mendelson…’
‘It’s Sally Harper, doctor – Jenny is unwell and has been all day. She won’t settle and I think she has a tummy upset, but we’ve given her gripe water and it doesn’t help…’
‘I’ll come straight away, Mrs Harper. There is a nasty bug doing the rounds at the moment and it can be dangerous to very young children. I’m very glad you called me; some mothers leave it too late…’
Sally thanked him and went back to Ben. She told him what the doctor had said as he tried to comfort the baby. Jenny looked flushed and just kept on whimpering.
‘She’s very hot, Sally. I just hope we haven’t left it too late…’
‘But Mrs Hills said…’ Sally stopped because Ben was glaring at her.
‘Mrs Hills is here to clean,’ he said and he was angry. ‘She isn’t the child’s mother, you are. You should have called the doctor as soon as you realised she was unwell.’
Sally bit her lip. She’d thought that the combination of Pearl and Mrs Hills was enough to protect her darling girl, but now she was terrified that her baby might be really ill, and if she was, Ben would never forgive her.
‘Give her this medicine every three hours,’ Doctor Mendelson said after he’d examined the child. ‘I’m pretty sure that in Jenny’s case we have an unpleasant tummy upset and nothing more – for which we can think ourselves lucky. We’ve lost three young babies in the last twenty-four hours and we’ve no idea why, just that it is a very nasty infection that nothing seems to help.’
‘You’re certain she doesn’t have this other infection?’ Ben asked sharply. ‘You don’t want to take her into hospital for further investigation?’
‘I have twenty years’ experience in caring for children, Mr Harper. When your wife spoke to me on the telephone, I feared the worst, but let me reassure you, this is nothing like the sickness these other children died of.’
Ben nodded and the tension went out of him. ‘Forgive me if I seemed rude, sir – but I’ve had some hard experience of medical care and I was protecting my daughter.’
‘Understandable, sir, but this mixture will settle her tummy and if Mrs Harper cools her down by taking off one of her blankets and letting her kick her legs in the air, I’m sure you will soon see an improvement.’
‘Thank you, doctor.’ Sally’s eyes were brimming with tears, which she just managed to hold until he’d left and then they just burst out of her. Ben’s sudden anger had shocked and upset her, making her fear even worse. She sat down in a chair, shoulders shaking as the emotion poured out of her. Ben came to stand at her shoulder, placing a hand on her. She didn’t look up, because he’d hurt her – blamed her when he thought their baby was in danger.
‘I’m sorry, Sally,’ Ben said. ‘I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I was worried and it has been a difficult day – but I know it doesn’t excuse the way I spoke to you. It’s just I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. I don’t want to go through that again…’
Sally saw the grief in his eyes and forgave him instantly. It was the first time since they’d become lovers and married that Ben had raised his voice to her and she hadn’t liked it, it made her feel guilty and selfish because she’d left her precious baby to others instead of being with her. ‘Are you angry with me because I found a nanny and returned to work so soon?’ she asked. ‘I only leave her for a few hours a day and they both spoil her…’
Ben raised her up and turned her to look at him. He stroked the side of her face and she saw regret in his eyes. ‘I love you, Sally, and everything you do is perfect – but to lose you or our little one would break me. I spoke harshly and without thinking, forgive me, please. I know that I can be harsh at times and perhaps I don’t deserve you and Jenny…’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Sally said and leaned in to kiss him. He smelled of cedar wood and his own musk and she felt a rush of love, clinging to him as he nuzzled her neck. ‘I don’t want to quarrel – and if you wanted me to stay home…’
‘Of course, I don’t,’ Ben said and now his eyes were teasing her. ‘My sister would kill me if I even suggested it – and she’s on her way remember. She has picked out some more stuff she thinks we shall need and I understand there is a huge crate of special tinned fruits, salmon and preserved fruits coming our way. Why on earth she thinks we need all that, I don’t know, but she’s afraid if the Germans start sinking our ships, we’ll starve, so she’s stocking us up before it begins.’
‘Oh, that’s just like Jenni,’ Sally said and giggled, her former unease forgotten as she shared the jest with Ben.
Yet as she watched her baby settle down, sleeping peacefully now that the doctor’s medicine was taking effect, Sally felt the ice at the back of her neck again. Jenni was American and it was an American general who had told Ben that he thought the Germans were stronger than the British believed. Did they know something that the British government didn’t – or were they just not telling the people?
&nb
sp; Lingering, Sally thought of something and went to her bedroom, hunting through her jewel box until she found a little silver cross she’d tied onto a ribbon. She took it back to her baby’s cot and looped it onto the wood structure.
‘Watch over her, Mum,’ she whispered and crossed herself. Sally’s mother had given her to the nuns and at times she’d hated her for it, especially when they were unkind and cold to her – but her mother had given the cross to them for Sally and a little part of her wondered if perhaps it was all she’d had to give. The nuns had allowed her to think she’d simply been abandoned – but what if her mother believed it was all she could do for her child? What if the cross had been meant to tell her that she loved her? Somehow the cross hanging there, comforted Sally, even though it made no sense.
Sally didn’t know whether her mother was alive or dead, but she’d always felt her mother must have been dying to give her to the nuns – why would anyone condemn a child to those cold-hearted women unless they were forced? Surely there must have been a good reason she’d been abandoned; the nuns just hadn’t told her all the truth. Now that she was a mother, Sally refused to believe that any mother could willingly give up her baby.
Smiling at her child, Sally kissed her and then softly pulled the door almost to. Jenny was sleeping now, but they would hear if she cried again.
Satisfied she’d done all she could, Sally followed Ben into the living room and picked up the plans for their extension. It was surprising how much space that small shop had given them once all the walls were taken away and it was opened out. It would make Harpers even more impressive.
‘These are good,’ she told Ben as she handed them back to him. ‘Did they tell you when you could expect the work to finish?’
‘Before Christmas, we hope,’ he told her and frowned. ‘It’s funny, but I was so keen to get this done and now…’ He broke off and sighed.
‘I know, Ben,’ she said and went to put her arms about him. ‘But other things have intruded and life is more important than material things – but remember, you promised those men their jobs back, which means we’ll need bigger premises or we’ll have to sack the staff we take on to replace them…’ She hesitated, frowning. ‘Do we know how many men will leave?’
‘Not yet – but most of the younger ones for sure.’
‘We’ll have to advertise for women to take their place.’
‘I dare say a lot of women may take a temporary job during the conflict,’ Ben said. ‘Some will be glad to go back to normal afterwards but some won’t…’
‘I doubt if many will,’ Sally said. ‘Once they’ve had a taste of earning their own money, they will want to continue, you wait and see.’
30
Rachel’s actual wedding was a quiet affair in a tiny church, but Maggie, Minnie, Sally, Beth and Hazel were at the church to see her dressed in her gown of pearl grey silk with a hat made of gauze, feathers and silk flowers that suited her beautifully. They stood misty-eyed to watch her walk down the aisle to greet her groom on Mr Stockbridge’s arm, together with a few of William’s family and friends, most of whom were polite, smiling but distant. At the evening reception, Jack joined them after work, as did Ben, Fred, and several others from Harpers, including Marion, Becky and Miss Hart, who no one had expected to accept the invitation, but who turned up looking much happier than when they’d last seen her. It was a relaxed but subdued affair because William had to report back to his unit on Monday afternoon and so their honeymoon had been reduced to a night in a prestigious hotel with the promise of a wonderful holiday in Scotland as soon as he had leave. However, the happiness of the bride and the pride of the groom shone through, lighting up their smiles and their eyes.
Tim arrived at the reception just in time to toast the bride and groom and eat a large slice of fruit cake. Maggie poked his spare frame and told him he had hollow legs, but he just laughed and collared a couple of sausage rolls from a passing tray.
‘I’m a growing lad,’ he told her. ‘I thought we might have a nice meal out after we leave here…?’
‘I’m not sure I could eat much after this,’ Maggie said. ‘I’ve had loads, but I’ll watch while you eat a bag of chips.’
‘Fair enough,’ Tim said. ‘Shall we buy them from that place near the river? We can sit on the bench and tuck in – I’ll let you pinch some of my chips, but don’t try to touch the fish.’
Maggie laughed and took him off to speak to Miss Hart. She asked how she was and was told that the woman she had feared as a floor walker was living very happily with her relatives and now working for her local church, who did a lot for charity.
‘I find it fulfilling and rewarding,’ she told Maggie and looked pleased with life. ‘The curate and I have a good working relationship and that’s why I am back in London for a short time and was able to attend Rachel’s wedding – so kind of her to think of me, don’t you think?’
‘I’m glad you’re feeling better, Miss Hart,’ Maggie said, surprised to find that she meant it. Everyone had felt so sorry for her when she’d had to leave Harpers due to ill health; it was good to know she’d found a new life.
Passing on to her friends, Maggie talked to them all and ended up hugging and kissing Rachel as she prepared to leave for her honeymoon.
‘Be happy, dearest Rachel,’ she said and smiled as she saw the sparkle in her friend’s eyes. ‘We both wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.’
‘Thank you, dear Maggie,’ Rachel said. ‘I shall be happy, I promise.’
After Rachel and William had left, Tim had a word with his brother and Beth, before suggesting to Maggie it was time for them to leave.
‘Much as I love your friends, Maggie, I think I shall do murder if we have to listen to any more social chatter. I want a little time alone with you!’
‘Tim!’ Maggie remonstrated, but she didn’t mind him stealing her away and her heart fluttered as she saw the passion in his eyes.
He was teasing her a lot, pretending to be full of nonsense, but she sensed something was bothering him. She placed her hand on his arm.
‘Are you worried about the war?’ Germany had invaded Belgium on the fourth of August and on the following day a British destroyer and a light cruiser had sunk a German minelayer some forty miles from the Thames Estuary. It had been a small victory for the British but brought the war closer to home, making the situation suddenly very real.
‘No, it’s not the war,’ Tim whispered back. ‘I’ll tell you later…’
Maggie didn’t say ask again until they were sitting enjoying their chips, which surprisingly she managed to eat several of, perhaps because of the delicious smell and the fresh air. Wiping her fingers afterwards on the large white handkerchief he gave her, she looked at him steadily.
‘What’s wrong, Tim? I know something is – will you tell me please?’
‘I meant to take you somewhere special…’ he said uncertainly.
‘I’m happy here. You can take me to dinner another night if you wish…’
Suddenly, Tim dropped to his knees on the bit of grass in front of her and produced a small blue leather box from his pocket, offering it to her. As he opened it, Maggie saw a beautiful diamond and sapphire three-stone ring and gasped.
‘Tim – what are you doing?’ she said, although in her heart she knew and was thrilled.
‘I’m asking you to marry me, Maggie,’ he said. ‘I love you and I have for a long time but I wasn’t sure how you felt. I knew there was Ralf and…’
‘Ralf hurt me,’ Maggie said, putting out a hand to stop him. ‘We still like each other, but I don’t love him.’
‘Do you care for me a little?’ Tim asked. ‘I’m not much of a catch, Maggie darling. I don’t have more than a couple of hundred pounds saved and I can’t offer you a home – but I do love you…’
‘I think I might love you, too,’ Maggie said and smiled. ‘Sit beside me, Tim; you’ll stain your uniform on the grass…’
‘Darling Maggie, y
ou just made me very happy.’
‘Get up then,’ she said, laughing.
He did as she told him, brushing ruefully at the mark on the knees of his Royal Flying Corps uniform. ‘Is it too much to ask you to wear my ring?’
Maggie looked at him seriously. ‘I might,’ she said slowly, ‘but I hadn’t thought of getting married yet – the thing is, Tim, I’m going to volunteer to train as a nurse…’
‘Really?’ Tim looked at her as if she’d just turned into a hummingbird, wonder and delight in his eyes. ‘If you do that, they might send you where I’m going.’ He grinned at her. ‘I can’t tell you – except that it’s not in England – and we leave at the end of the week. It’s why I wanted to take you somewhere special so that I could persuade you to marry me.’
‘Oh, Tim, you daft thing’ Maggie said and giggled. ‘You only had to ask me. Yes, I will marry you, but not just yet. We can be engaged if you want, but I’m not ready to get married. I’ve been taking those first-aid classes for ages and now I want to help, if they’ll let me. Men are being hurt already and I know they will need more nurses – besides, I think we should wait to marry until I’m at least nineteen, or until I’ve done my duty as a nursing assistant. You know that I can’t serve and be married – and it’s something I want to do.’
‘Yes, if that’s what you want,’ he said and leaned closer. ‘Can I kiss you, Maggie? I mean a proper kiss…’
Maggie inclined her head. Tim often kissed her cheek or her hand, but he’d never given her a lover’s kiss and she’d often wished he would, but she couldn’t ask in case he thought her forward or fast. Now, as their lips touched and she felt the sweetness of his kiss deepen into something that stirred her blood and made her tremble with a feeling she’d never experienced before, she almost changed her mind and said she would marry him now, as soon as it could be arranged. Yet she knew that something inside her was telling her she needed to volunteer as a nurse.