by Gemma Snow
Not that Joshua had any business edging into her life now.
You’re going to need to face up to him at some point, Madison. You need to come to terms with this.
With what? With the hurt and ache and embarrassment of finding her fiancé with another woman in their bed just over a week ago? Hell, she hadn’t even told Lily about this, and she’d told Lily everything, from crushes to work problems to getting into college. Lily knew most things about Madison’s life before she knew them. But the idea of telling her best friend the truth about her relationship made that familiar ache in her chest pang hard and rough. Of course, Lils wouldn’t judge, but Madison just didn’t feel like being on display like that, not with something she should have known so much better about.
“We’re here.” Ryder pushed through a few more trees and into a small clearing, where the forest gave way to a great expanse of sky and mountain. The sun just edged over the horizon, casting long, glowing strands against the sky in burning orange and saccharine pink. Already, pinpoints of stars were glowing out from the soft purple of twilight and Madison knew more were to come. Hell, the stars on her ceiling as a kid had been more than San Francisco ever got, what with the pollution and smog. No doubt Montana would be amazing.
And that was all the more reason she shouldn’t have come, even with the promise of mind-blowing sex. This place called to her, made her want to do insane, absurd, wild things—made her want to quit her job and leave the city where she’d spent her entire life, except for college, in. Hell, she’d never lived outside California.
She tossed her sleeping bag on the ground and watched Christian start a fire in the small circle they’d used before, if she was any judge. The problem was, it would be way too easy for her to get used to a life like this—then what? These guys were nothing more to her—and she was nothing more to them—than a fling. That was it. She was going and they were staying and there was nothing more to it than that.
“Come sit by me, sugar.” Ryder patted the spot on his sleeping bag between his muscled thighs. She settled in, enjoying the strength of his chest against her back, loving how she felt warm and protected and comfortable in his embrace, watching Christian set up the fire before them.
“Have either of you ever dated a woman?” she asked, wishing at once she could shove the question back into her mouth when it was out. But it was too late, so she continued, hoping for the best. “I mean, this whole thing, do you only sleep with women together or…”
Christian’s eyes held humor as he settled on his sleeping bag beside her. Ryder’s chest rumbled behind her with a soft laugh.
“We’ve definitely dated before, on our own.” Christian pulled a bottle of whiskey from the pack and unscrewed it. “But it’s not an easy lifestyle. We work hard and often and most women deserve more time than we can give them.”
Madison didn’t like the ache in her chest at his words.
“With our hours and our workload,” Ryder put in, “we could go days or weeks without leaving the ranch. Town is forty minutes away and the next closest residence is six miles down the road. So the relationships don’t always work out.”
Christian smiled and handed her the whiskey bottle. “They never work out. It’s no one’s fault—I’m not going to go around saying I’ve got a crazy ex-girlfriend or anything. The women I dated just wanted to spend more time with me than I could give them and it wasn’t fair. That’s pretty much it.”
She liked that answer. Christian was right on the money with the crazy ex comment, since so many men demonized the women they had dated as a way of playing victim. But being in a relationship took trust and love and respect, and unwillingness to give that meant a person didn’t get to play the victim. Unless, of course, that person’s fiancé was a shitbag.
“And this whole sleeping-with-one-woman thing?” she asked, curiosity winning out over the need to harp on Joshua anymore. “What’s that about?”
Ryder shrugged behind her. “Why fix it if it ain’t broke?” he asked. “For whatever reason, it works, and we’re leaving it at that. Of course, if either of us found the right woman, we’d stop. But for now, we’re happy.”
She turned and pursed her lips at both of them. “Did you ever…” She pointed between them, making her meaning as clear as she could. Ryder, who’d been swallowing a sip of whiskey, choked hard.
His eyes watered and he hacked again before answering, “Nope. We’ve somehow managed to avoid that.”
Christian looked a lot less disconcerted. “Eh, I can’t say I never thought about. I mean, I’ve seen this guy naked more times that I’ve seen any woman naked, but it just doesn’t do it for me.” He accepted the whiskey bottle and drank a slow sip. “Plus, if I was into guys, I’d want someone with a bigger dick.”
Ryder flipped him off and Christian just grinned, the devil in his smile, before handing the whiskey bottle back to Madison.
“What about you, city girl?” he asked. “Do you have a husband back at home? Two kids and a dog? Are we your dirty little secret?”
This time, she choked on the whiskey, laughing and tearing up. “Well, I haven’t told anyone about this,” she said. “But I definitely don’t have a husband. Or a dog. I don’t have time for either of them, apparently.”
The air around them grew still and she realized that her voice had gone bitter. It was here. The reckoning of what she’d walked in on last week had come. And there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
“All right, you’ve danced around this before and now you need to fess up,” Ryder said, stroking her arm with a gentle, soothing stroke. “What the hell happened that has you all twisted in knots?” The tone of his voice and the fire in Christian’s eyes promised Madison that she had allies in these two men. And really, who better to tell her tale of woe than strangers in a far-off place? Lily would no doubt get into her car and drive to Joshua’s apartment with every intention of teaching him a lesson, and Madison just didn’t want that.
“Do I have to?” She took the whiskey bottle out of Ryder’s hands and cradled it in her own, as a safety net.
“Looks like you want to,” Christian replied. “We’re good listeners.”
Yeah, she knew that. She also knew they were great lovers, hard workers and both whip-smart. The last thing any of them needed was her divulging more secrets, giving yet another reason for intimacy and connection. But she did want to talk about it, because it had been weighing so heavy on her chest that she felt fit to burst, anger ricocheting through her veins.
“All right…” She drank long from the whiskey bottle before beginning. “I found out about the ranch on Wednesday last week, right?” They both nodded. “Yeah, well, Monday of last week I found my fiancé in bed with his law partner. Our bed.”
There. She had said it out loud to other people. And that had been the part that had scared her the most. Once she said it out loud, it was true. Once she said it out loud, there was no going back to the life she had lived before this week. She would go home to half an apartment, to a job that had sounded the death knell for her relationship, to no one.
“Son of a bitch,” Christian muttered, each word torn off in barely veiled rage. “Maddy, you give us the word and we’ll drive all night to go kick his ass.”
Ryder’s whole body had stiffened behind her and she could almost taste his potent anger. Their advocacy and rage on her behalf vindicated her own and Madison could at last smile about the whole situation for the first time since it’d happened.
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” she said. Both men narrowed their eyes at her.
“What’d you do, Maddy?” Ryder asked, clenching his hands in a gesture of possession around her waist. Oh, I could so get used to this.
“I put his Rolex in the blender,” she said, unable to contain her mirth at the confession. “The scream was pretty satisfying.”
“It’d be more satisfying for me to put my boot in his face,” Ryder replied. “But I like the way you think.” He bent an
d kissed the back of her neck, soft, reassuring, perhaps not intended to be anything more than that, but she still felt the heat of him down to her bones, aching and rioting through her with a promise of want and anticipation and need.
“I’m okay,” she said, believing it for the first time since her suspicions had been confirmed. “Or, at least, I will be. He said I worked too hard and that he never got to see me, which is why he strayed, but it was really only a matter of time. I’m just glad it happened before we got married. That would have sucked major ass.” She sighed, feeling the intense urge to tell them everything, to explain just what it was that had apparently driven Joshua away from her.
“He said I was a freak. In bed, I mean,” she said at last, looking first Christian then Ryder in the eye. “He said I wanted things that normal women didn’t want. In the end, he really wasn’t a nice guy. I was just the last one to notice.”
Ryder kissed the back of her neck, but even the gentle touch held a note of ill-suppressed anger.
“He’s a bastard,” he said, low and hot. “If there’s anything we’ve learned from our own thing here, Madison, it’s that communication and trust are necessary for sex and love. He should never have made you feel bad about yourself for having different desires than he did. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
To her horror, Madison’s eyes got hot. Jesus fuck, when was the last time she had cried over a man? Not since her college boyfriend had transferred to NYU during their senior year.
“I know that,” she said, her throat a little tight. “Rationally, I know he treated the situation—treated me all wrong. It’s just hard to believe it. In the end, I’m still the fool here.”
Ryder hugged her closer to him and Christian took both of her hands in his, his temper simmering hot and potent below the surface. On a good day, Christian looked a little raw, a little angry and a lot of scary, with the tattoos and the piercings. But right now, against the light of the fire and the stark moon, he looked as though he could kill Joshua if Madison gave him the word. Not that she ever would, but the knowledge was a little comforting—or maybe it was just knowing that she wasn’t so alone in all this, and that other men—sexy as hell and totally demanding other men—liked all the parts of her Joshua hadn’t.
Diving into this affair had been what she’d needed to remember herself under all the pain and hurt that the betrayal and his words had caused. Or maybe she had just needed Ryder and Christian.
“Have you told anyone else about this?” Christian asked in a quiet voice, while he stroked her hand. “Or have you been holding it in this whole time?”
Madison sucked on her teeth then reached for the whiskey bottle and downed a healthy drink before replying. “I guess I didn’t want to tell anyone because once I said it out loud, that made it true, you know? I’ll talk to Lily when I get home, but I’m not looking forward to that conversation. It was easier to tell you guys first, for whatever reason.” It’s the same reason that I’m scared to spend too much time with them, because I know I could fall for both of these guys, hard, if I haven’t already.
“I’m glad you told us,” Ryder said, still planting those damn kisses up and down her neck, turning her to mush. “I hate the idea of you suffering through this alone.”
She turned her head and kissed him, hard. “I’m not alone,” she said. “And you’ve both been awesome with the whole distraction thing. Plus, the timing on the inheritance really kept me from thinking about it too much until this weekend.”
Christian picked up her hand kissed the inside of her wrist. “Will you let us distract you now?” he asked. “Let us take your mind off things?”
Madison smirked. Damn it, they were already getting to her, with the smirking and the teasing and all of it and she couldn’t deny for a second that she liked it.
“You can try,” she challenged, shooting him a wink. Yeah, fuck Joshua and fuck what he’d done to her. The only good part was that she’d learned the truth of who he was before it was too late. And that I got the chance to meet Christian and Ryder…
Ryder’s kisses grew longer and more languid and he ran his teeth down her back, slowly, tantalizingly, until Madison’s breath got shallow, her nipples peaked and she threw her head back against his shoulder. Christian kissed her then, a slow, deep, promising kiss that said so much more than desire. It spoke of camaraderie and friendship and support and promises of a night spent out under the stars doing what most people only considered a fantasy. She pressed back into the kiss, moaning against his lips and rocking into Ryder’s hardness just behind her ass.
The sensations overwhelmed her. She had never felt this way before and she never would again, not with any other lover, at least. Even simple kisses, brushes of lips across neck and collarbone, made her ache with a need so acute her mind blanked, her vision blurred and her pussy clenched on emptiness.
“I need… I need…” she whispered against Christian’s mouth, shuddering when Ryder brought his hands to her breasts and began teasing her peaked nipples. Her nipples had always been sensitive, and when he was the one touching them they zinged with electricity, each rough caress making her arch and moan and quake.
“What do you need?” Christian slipped his hand below the hem of her shirt and up her ribcage, soft, sweet caresses that made her moan and whimper. “Tell us, Maddy. Tell us what you want.” Like the bastard didn’t know.
“I want you…” she managed, and a wild, insane image popped into her head—having them both inside her at the same time. “I want someone to touch me.” Her voice came out ragged and demanding. Jesus, only a few hours had passed since she’d last had them inside her and already she was running hot, desperate and willing to beg for what she wanted.
“How, baby?” Ryder murmured into her ear. “Tell us how you want us. What’s going through that pretty little head?”
She couldn’t tell them that. Not when the ideas running roughshod over her mind were so insane and perverse and…
“Don’t go there, Madison. We’re not your ex and we don’t ever want you to hold back on what you want because of things he said to you.” Frustration at her pain was back in Christian’s voice, stark and uncovered. “What we’re doing right now is about trust and communication—if anything doesn’t feel right for any of us, we stop. You have to believe we want something unless we tell you otherwise, okay?”
She hadn’t realized she’d needed those words until he said them, hadn’t realized that Joshua’s dismissal of even her tamer desires had pulled at a heartstring, had put a distance between them that might just have led to the extra-late hours she’d worked and the weekend projects she had taken on. But now, as the two men touched and kissed and gazed at her under a blanket of stars so rich in diamond lights that she felt a little magical, Madison realized how important it was for her be honest, with them, but more so with herself, especially now.
“I want to have you both inside,” she whispered. Knowing she wanted it, had to say it, didn’t mean it was easy and she hesitated a bit, never having voiced the words out loud. Hell, Joshua had run scared at the idea of tying her to the headboard—never in a million years would she have broached this one.
“You’ve had us both, baby,” Ryder whispered, realization dawning in his voice. “Ahhh… You have to say it, Maddy. You have to tell us what you want. Take your control back and trust us.” And Jesus, for better or for worse, she did trust them, probably too much for her own good.
“I want to try anal. I’ve experimented by myself before, but never with a partner and I want to know how it feels to have you both in me at the same time. You can say no.” The words came out in a tumble, but she felt lighter, freer in this wide-open air, with her desires on full display. The worst they could say was no, but at least she’d have admitted to herself what she wanted and that was a damn big step to getting over everything Joshua had done and said.
“Jesus, Maddy…” Christian’s voice came out on a groan and her stomach plummeted for a half-second.
He’s going to say he doesn’t want it, he’s going to say there’s something wrong with me… Joshua was right, most normal women don’t want this kind of thing…
“Do you know how badly I want that? We want that? We didn’t want to push you before you were ready, baby, but I have been fantasizing about burying my cock in your ass ever since you showed up in that goddamn tight skirt.”
Madison laughed, relief flooding through her. Joshua hadn’t been right about her, and even as she knew the truth of it, hearing that someone else shared her desires soothed her aching heart like a balm. Action on instinct, she pressed forward and kissed all of her tangled emotions into Christian’s mouth, exploring, tasting, demanding, until he took over the kiss, took over her, palming one breast and nipping at her tongue, her lips, her jaw. She moaned, grinding back against Ryder’s cock just when Christian slipped his tongue between her lips and tasted her.
“So fucking responsive,” Christian growled when he pulled back from her mouth to nip at her collarbone. “I want to fulfill your fantasies, Maddy. Jesus, I’ll do whatever the hell you want me to. Just say the word.”
She couldn’t help herself. She laughed into his kiss. “I do have a cock ring I’ve been wanting to try.” To Christian’s credit, he didn’t freak out, but she put him out of his misery before he had to come up with an excuse. “I’m kidding!” She turned around to kiss Ryder. “I’d much prefer to relinquish control than take it. I’m responsible for everything else in my life and I like it a lot more when you two are in charge instead.”
“Then let us be in charge, Maddy,” Ryder whispered against her ear, moving their bodies slow and easy so she lay flat against the sleeping bag, both of them hovering over her. The sight was intimating—two large, powerful men giving her beyond sexy grins—but to Madison, the moment couldn’t have been more full of trust or comfort. Funny how that all goes.