Joseph

by Tracy St. John

  Patience.

  Almon drew a breath and addressed the officer at the desk. “Does he have any documentation to sign?”

  “No, the formal stuff he needed to do was resolved earlier this morning. Good luck, Joseph. And congratulations on your release.”

  Joseph blinked at the guard, as if surprised by the kind words. He dared a tremulous smile. “Thank you.”

  The smile, while not directed at him, gave Almon the opening to obey the urge to touch Joseph. He was careful about it, only brushing his elbow lightly, quickly. “Are you ready to go?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” The Earther squared his shoulders, a familiar gesture when he was facing up to anxiety-provoking circumstances.

  It wasn’t the most promising of responses, but Joseph followed it up by marching to the outer door. Almon followed him, reminding himself that with love and patience, Joseph would be all right. Almon had both for the Earther in massive quantities.

  Chapter Two

  Joseph stepped out into freedom. He drew a deep breath of the warm air, the songs of hidden reptilian drils tickling his ears with bright cheer.

  He’d been outside before, beyond the very glass doors he’d just emerged from. Those psychiatric inmates who behaved themselves and earned privileges were occasionally granted field trips under careful supervision. Joseph and the center’s most emotionally balanced Imdikos, the breed the institution catered to, had enjoyed kestarsh riding lessons, toured a confectionary that handed out sample sweets, and gone ice skating, an activity held in common between Earthers and Kalquorians.

  Today, stepping out of the center felt far different. He looked at his surroundings, a man at liberty to do so without an orderly or guard. Was it because it was early spring that the valley nestled between the mountains of the Egru territory seemed greener than usual? That the flowers dotting the land were brighter than he’d seen before? Even the series of caves in the vicinity seemed open and welcoming, though they were mostly outlying parts of the psychiatric facility. The sky was an endless sheet of blue stretching over the mountains, still wearing their white mantles of glittering snow.

  When Almon’s smiling face slid into view, Joseph realized he’d been turning in a mesmerized circle, absorbing the view like a tourist. He flushed and dropped his gaze to his feet, in their shining black boots with traction soles—a good idea in a mountainous region.

  “How does it feel?” Almon’s rumbling voice was soft, resembling distant ocean waves.

  “Amazing. And terrifying.” Joseph had promised himself to always tell the truth, especially to Almon. If this relationship between them was to work out, he couldn’t hide the bad stuff, no matter how afraid he was. Admitting he was scared before the imperturbable warrior was embarrassing, but necessary to keep his vow. To minimize the potential sting, he quickly added, “I’m ready. Let’s get out of here.”

  “The shuttle pad’s this way.” If Joseph’s confession of fear bothered Almon, who saw himself as the Earther’s protector, he showed none of it. They fell into step, side by side, heading to the flat area that served as visitors’ shuttle parking.

  Within seconds, they reached a small craft, fairly new and compact with a cockpit sporting seating for two and a small passenger cabin that could fit another couple of people or a small amount of cargo. That was where Almon stored Joseph’s bin as the Earther settled in the co-pilot’s seat.

  He was fine until Almon started the shuttle’s humming engine. Almon was taking him to his home, where they would live together as a couple. All at once, Joseph slammed his hands on the armrests, gripping them in white-knuckled panic. “Wait. Just—I—wait.”

  He stared at the psychiatric center, housed in a massive cavern with its glass front twinkling from the brilliant sun, reflecting the snow-topped mountains before it. How could he leave its safety? How could he give up his routine, planned out for him every day, reliable and known? Secure?

  Almon’s scarred, calloused hand covered his. The touch was gentle, as if he tried to calm a frightened child. “It’s all right. Joseph? Look at me. I promise you’re going to be okay.”

  Joseph finally allowed himself to look at Almon. The man was built every bit as big as Nesof. In fact, the structure of their bodies was so similar, at a distance they might have been mistaken for brothers. However, Almon’s features were rougher, not as sculpted. He wore more scars, and a few strands of premature gray streaked his long hair. He smelled of wilderness, of rampant masculinity, a stark contrast of the antiseptic cleanliness that clung to Nesof.

  Tough. Solid. Stalwart. During Joseph’s captivity, Almon hadn’t missed a visiting day. He’d brought him all kinds of diversions to keep him amused during his sentence. He’d maintained an account at the commissary so Joseph could buy the occasional treat, book file, or toiletries nicer than those provided.

  He won’t let me down. He won’t let anyone hurt me, despite me deserving more than what Kalquor sentenced me to.

  Joseph forced himself to breathe normally, to shove back the instant of anxiety. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “Dr. Adna said this could happen. You’re facing the unknown, a whole life unlike what’s gone before. Just remember, I’ve got you. I’m here.”

  Joseph forced a smile. His determination to be up front with Almon wavered in the face of his careful treatment. What good would it do to admit that some of his fears had much to do with the Nobek himself? That Joseph was anxious about what would happen now that they were finally going to live together?

  Yet it was what he wanted, what he couldn’t have had as an Earther. Joseph hoped when the time came, he could carry through with it, for both their sakes.

  Almon squeezed his hand and tapped the shuttle’s controls, as if nothing had happened. They lifted off. Joseph was on his way to his new home.

  A fresh stab of fright was quickly overcome by the gorgeous vista filling the vid as they rose above the facility. He saw the line of caves behind the psychiatric center, most of which were outdated and no longer in use. Similar to the rest of the valley, fresh spring growth had carpeted the cave tops with verdant green and the first colorful buds of flowers. The same with the lower parts of the mountains that enclosed the valley. The peaks created a fascinating scene of two seasons as winter slowly gave way to spring, from the foothills to about the middle. At that point, white caps still dotted the crags, becoming an ever-thickening crust of ice further up.

  As they flew toward the mountain where Almon made his home, the Nobek pointed out areas of interest, from historical (“That’s where the Battle of Actum took place, during the War of the Breeds”) to industrial (“The manufacturing plant for farming machinery is located in that batch of caverns”).

  Their flight path, part of a line that other shuttles followed as well, took them past several impressive mountains, flashing quickly by. “There’s a place in Wehit Mountain that serves the best ronka steaks in the region. I’ll have to make reservations for us to go. Speaking of food, do you wish to go somewhere for lunch?”

  Joseph envisioned restaurants filled with Kalquorians, and how his face had been on every newsvid two years ago. Many wouldn’t have forgotten him. They’d recall the captain of a renegade Earther battlecruiser who’d taken Kalquorians prisoner to sell to the Bi’isils.

  He swallowed hard. “Can we just eat at your home? Is that okay?”

  “Perfectly fine.”

  Silence reigned for a few minutes as Almon steered toward Ehom Mountain. As they neared the opening that led to the residents’ bay, the Nobek suddenly said, “Though we’ve been planning for this for over a year, I wasn’t sure you’d come with me.”

  “I wasn’t sure either.” Joseph rushed to add, “Not because of you. Because of me.”

  “I’m glad you’re making the attempt to give us a chance.”

  Joseph concentrated on keeping his hands from shaking so Almon wouldn’t see. He reminded himself, this is everything I hoped for.

  Everything
he feared.

  * * * *

  Joseph’s initial impression of Almon’s apartment within Ehom Mountain was how tidy and clean it was. The greeting room was simple, with a couple of seating arrangements for guests. Window vids showed the mountain range outside, as well as the clear blue sky stretched overhead. They offered the illusion of sunlight pouring into the space, which gave the dark gray seating cushions a velvety aspect.

  “This is nice.” It reminded him that despite the years of constant visits, he knew little about the day-to-day Almon.

  The Nobek shrugged. “It’s not fancy, but it’s a good start for those of us used to cramped spaceship quarters.”

  “And wards within institutions. Are you really so tidy, or is a cleaning staff included in the housing?” He ensured his tone was teasing.

  “Weren’t you trained to keep up your living space? If not, I’ve detected our first problem as housemates.” Almon’s voice was as light.

  “Don’t worry, I was. No messy men here. I appreciate that.”

  “Do you prefer a tour or food?”

  “Tour.” Despite his anxieties, answering Joseph’s curiosity couldn’t be delayed.

  “Obviously, this is the greeting room, where I can entertain guests if I’m so inclined.”

  Joseph felt a stab of conscience over the idea that Almon didn’t have many opportunities to have friends over. The Nobek had been with Kalquor’s Imperial Fleet for most of his adulthood, so his friendships were there. His parent clan lived in a separate territory, some distance away.

  He’d put aside everything important to him to be near Joseph in the psychiatric center. Career, friends, family—the works. What had Almon seen in him to convince him to do that? Or was it simply that Joseph had once saved him? That the Nobek had needed his life saved to start with was Joseph’s doing. How could he feel he owed him?

  Joseph fought with the guilt as he followed Almon into a small but serviceable kitchen.

  “Here’s the cooler with snacks and drinks. And this is the pantry with more of the same. I’m pretty much a quick-meal kind of guy.”

  “Same here. I failed Boiling Water One-Oh-One.”

  Almon had learned enough Earther jargon to get the joke. He grinned. “In the interest of not poisoning each other, we’ll stick to ready-made meals then. I’ll show you how to run the cooker.”

  Joseph noticed the cozy eating nook, with a table and a curved bench set against the wall. Another window vid hung over the seating.

  “That’s a gorgeous view of the valley. Those window vids really give the impression we’re looking outside.”

  “Smaller, inner-mountain apartments aren’t as pricey as the large ones on the outside with real windows and balconies.” Almon sounded as if he were apologizing.

  “You’d never know you’re not looking at the actual outdoors. It’s perfect.”

  From there, they went into what Almon referred to as the common room. On Earth, Joseph would have called it a den or family room. Comfortable, casual seating, an entertainment system, fire pit, and vid gaming table kept the area cozy and welcoming. Joseph paused to admire the holo-awards Almon had earned in his years of serving in the fleet. Appearing reticent, Almon called him away to instruct him on how to work the entertainment system.

  Next was a hallway. The first area off it was furnished with only a billowing seat cushion large enough to serve as a bed, along with a simple table. Almon set Joseph’s bin on the floor. “This is yours, to furnish and decorate as you wish. I figured you might put your own stamp on it, rather than me guessing what you’d prefer.”

  Joseph stared around him. It wasn’t a large area to be sure, but it was spacious enough to surprise him. His captain’s quarters on the battlecruiser had possessed a combination sitting room and dining area about the same size. His next thought was that he and Almon would be sleeping in separate quarters. Disappointment mingled uneasily with relief. “A space for me? Really?”

  “Maybe you could turn it into a writing studio. I’ve set a budget for you, and we can go shopping in the next couple of days.”

  Not a bedroom. A home office. A scarier mix of feelings greeted that, but Joseph managed to keep his tone even. “Thank you, Almon. I’d have been perfectly happy camped out on the lounger in the common room to do my scribbling.”

  “You’re more than welcome to do so. I figured there might be times I’m watching kurble or the fights, and you’ll need a quiet space to work on your essays.”

  “That’s the norm for Kalquorians, isn’t it? The private area, I mean? I remember Nesof remarking that though he lived alone, he still had a hideaway at the closed part of the center where the surveillance system isn’t working.”

  “He ducks his duties?” Almon’s brow wrinkled.

  “He goes there during breaks to decompress without having to chitchat with other staff members. It’s tough working with mentally unstable patients, especially when the facility is short on staff, as they are now. Nesof says he needs those few minutes of absolute quiet, especially with fights breaking out every three or four days in the maximum-security wards.”

  Joseph gazed at the space that was meant for him. A writing studio. How perfect. He’d always wanted to be a writer, a profession his father had declared irrelevant and not worthy of a real man. The senior Walker had refused to acknowledge Joseph’s awards in high school for his essays, even when a couple were published on an important web publication.

  “At least you could write about sports. Or the military. Why do you have to scribble about a bunch of emotional crap? It makes you look like a puff.” Such declarations were delivered with derision and a warning scowl. Dad wouldn’t put up with the slightest hint of what he defined as unmanly.

  In contrast, Dr. Adna had pushed Joseph to write, after he’d pried that tidbit out of his patient. Once he’d read Joseph’s work, which he’d enthused over in a most non-Adna way, he’d included writing as part of therapy. A term of Joseph’s release was that the Earther not only continue to write but explore how he could concoct a career out of it.

  This is the other dream I couldn’t explore or admit to. Joseph swallowed the rise of emotion. “This is wonderful. Thank you for thinking of it.”

  As he followed Almon down the hall to the next, he admonished himself to spend as little money on furnishings as possible. Joseph had no idea how much his host earned as a personal bodyguard. Almon had only said it was enough to meet their needs and resisted any further conversation on the matter.

  The next area set off a spike of nervousness. The sleeping room was exactly what its name implied. A large, luxurious mat dressed in soft linens covered much of the floor space—the mat the men would share.

  Almon had made it abundantly clear from the beginning that he desired Joseph. More importantly, he knew Joseph was attracted to him too. That they would do activities besides sleeping on that waist-high mattress was not a matter to be debated.

  It wasn’t the act that terrified Joseph, though he’d never dared the intimacy that had been an automatic death sentence on Earth. The threat of horrific mutilations and torture that would ultimately end in execution had kept him in denial over who he was the entirety of his existence. He remained petrified he could be found perverted, even on Kalquor where homosexuality and bisexuality were part of the normal course of life because of the dearth of women.

  With his heart racing and breaths growing ragged, Joseph searched for any item to look at besides the sleeping mat. Fortunately, there was an incredible painting of a mountain landscape hanging over the bed.

  “By the prophets, that’s beautiful art.”

  “Do you think so?”

  Almon’s surprise and flush of pride told Joseph who had painted the stunning vista. “You did that? Almon, why didn’t you tell me you were an artist? You just said your Imdiko father was.”

  “I quit painting when I went into the fleet. I’ve been playing around with it the last year or so since I left. It’s only a hobby.”


  “Are there more paintings? Let me see.”

  Looking pleased and as if he were trying to hide it, Almon led him to the last area off the hall. Workout machines took up half the space that was as large as Joseph’s office. The rest was obviously an art studio, with shelves of paints, canvases, and myriad other supplies. An easel with a stool before it waited for a new project.

  Two of the walls were taken up by mountainscapes, both hanging and leaning against the surfaces. The paintings depicted different mountains, from different perspectives, featuring different seasons and times of the day. Joseph exclaimed with delight. “All these? And they’re stunning. Better than the window vids!”

  Almon ducked his gaze, embarrassed but obviously gratified with the praise. “I’ve been relearning how to do this as I go along. The first few paintings were pretty bad.” He pulled a couple out from behind those leaning against the wall.

  “I can see how your technique has improved, but even so, those show promise. It’s obvious you had natural talent from the beginning.”

  Almon hid his early works once more. “Living out here in the mountains inspired me to try to capture some of the beauty of the district. I figured if I stunk at it, no one else would ever know.”

  Joseph looked at each of the paintings. He stopped before a stunner that depicted a sunrise over a mountain lake. It stole his breath. “Can I have one? To hang in my office?”

  The Nobek’s full smile softened his strong features. “If you really like them, take whatever you want.”

  “In that case, this one. Oh, this too. And that. Wait—maybe I should take this night scene instead. Ugh, why are there so few walls for me to hang these on? I may have to switch them out from time to time.”

  He finally selected three, including his favorite, the sunrise lake. He followed Almon back to the empty office, both men carrying the paintings.