by Jaci Wheeler
“Good morning, everyone.”
Samuel raises an eyebrow in amusement. “In a hurry are you?”
“I am on a mission to change the world, Samuel. I’m always in a hurry these days. What can I do for you today?”
He laughs. “Maybe I just missed seeing your beautiful face.”
Dex clears his throat. “When you two are done flirting we would like to get down to business.”
“Thank you for coming in, Roz,” Amira says. “We know you’re busy but the Council would feel better knowing what revisions you have made and would also like a rundown of the speech you plan on making to the Ministry. That is still planned for this Friday, yes?”
Oops, I guess I should have informed them of the changes.
“Actually, I have changed that to Monday. After doing the trial run on the department heads, I thought it would be best to do it in the beginning of the week. That way they have the rest of the week to process and ask questions. I didn’t like dropping it on them and then being gone for two days if they had any questions.”
Seamus nods. “You’re right, that sounds much better.”
“As far as any revisions, I think Dex and I were able to get everyone on the same page. Wes has been transferred to the Career Department for as long as he is needed. That, along with placing Ronan in charge of the monitoring revisions, are the only big changes I’ve made. Ronan didn’t like the plan at all, though he has come around a bit and I’m trying to give him as much leeway as I can. Once we tell the Ministry we can get to work training everyone to go out into the Zones. This week we are focusing on making sure the directors of each department feel comfortable answering any and all questions. After I’m done here I plan to go to the Agriculture Department to start scouting the best areas to build the compounds around adequate food sources.”
“Wait a minute here,” Clarisse speaks up. “It’s one thing to open compounds and bestow land. Now you are putting them in the best spots? That isn’t going to happen. We need those resources for our people. You know, the ones living under the Ministry and our protection.” Her voice is filled with disdain. I should have seen this coming.
“It’s not my intention to take anything away from our people, Clarisse. Nothing will change. We will still be feeding the same number of people if you think about it. If people from the Zones leave, that is fewer mouths for us to feed in the Zones. I’m not suggesting taking anything away from us; I’m going to make sure they are placed in an area that has a food source, that’s all.”
“Yes, but—”
She’s cut off by my watch beeping. I have an incoming message, and I should ignore it but it’s from Judy. Since she was told to hold my calls it must be an emergency.
“Excuse me, Clarisse, I need to take this.”
She huffs and glares at me.
I look at the message, which says to call asap.
“Please talk amongst yourselves. I have to check in; there is some kind of emergency.”
Dex stands up and comes over to me. He must be thinking along the same lines as I am that something has happened to my parents, Wes, or Molly. I call Judy instantly.
“Judy, what is it? What happened?”
“I’m so sorry, Miss Roz, I know you told me not to bother you, but it’s little R.J. His mom called. They don’t think he is going to make it through the night. He keeps pointing at the picture of you both at the zoo. She thinks he wants to see you, but he can’t get enough air to speak.”
I have tears rolling down my face. I knew this was going to happen, but eventually, not now. I want them to say they found something that works to cure him and he will be fine. I take a deep breath.
“Please call Annalise back and tell her I am on my way now. Also, call the closest zoo and have someone bring a trained monkey to his room asap. Please reschedule all my meetings for the next two days. Thank you, Judy.”
I can hear her sniffing on the other end before she hangs up.
Clarisse opens her mouth to protest but I don’t even give her the chance.
“I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to table this discussion. I promise not to make any decisions regarding the compounds without talking with all of you, though I must leave now.
“Rosaline, it is important that we finish this conversation,” Simon insists. “While we understand you made a connection with the boy, you will make many connections with many children and you can’t leave during important meetings anytime something comes up. It is one of the responsibilities of the president to prioritize.”
I can feel my anger building and when I glance at Dex, I can see that Simon hit a sore spot for him as well. How many times did his dad put the Council and meetings ahead of his own family? I give Simon my most confident glare.
“That’s exactly what I’m doing, Simon. This child is taking his last breaths as we speak. I am putting a valued life in front of arguing over beans. If you don’t think the life of an innocent child is more important than this discussion I am sorry for you, and this Council can replace me at any moment. A country lacking in compassion is not one I wish to represent. You may vote on my replacement now; I am leaving.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Dex growls. “We value life above all else, don’t we?” he says, giving his scariest look to the rest of the members. They all nod.
“Please go, Roz, and share our respects and well wishes will you?” Annabelle says. I’m out the door in seconds. Dex catches up to me.
“I’m going with you, Roz, I don’t want you to be alone.” I am too upset to protest so I keep walking and he follows behind. I practically run to the train station. The train ride is the longest hour of my life. I keep hoping and praying I won’t be too late. How dare the Council waste precious minutes arguing with me over leaving to be by the side of a dying young boy?
“Breathe, Roz. You need to calm down a little and breathe. R.J. is probably scared and worried about upsetting people. It’s got to be hard to see your parents and people you respect so scared. Do your best to ease him before he goes. Get all your tears out now, and then go in there and put on the performance of your life,” Dex says, rubbing my back gently.
I know he’s right. My hurt has no place in that room. I have to be strong. I squeeze his hand. I use the rest of the ride to calm myself down. I splash some water on my face in the bathroom and declare myself ready right as we pull up to the station.
Dex doesn’t say a word; he holds my hand as we walk through the doors. I see my mom standing by the nurses’ station looking worried. If she came down here it must be bad. I know if I hug her or even talk to her now I will fall apart.
Silently understanding, Dex goes to introduce himself to her and tell her I will see her before I leave the hospital. I know my mom will understand and, as much as I want to run to her right now for comfort, I can’t.
I see Annalise standing outside R.J.’s room talking to the doctor. She has tears running down her cheeks. She lifts her head when she hears me approach, says something to the doctor, and he walks away. She gives me a weak smile.
“I’m so glad you made it, President Thatcher. Thank you so much for coming.”
“Of course, Annalise, and please call me Roz.”
“We think he was asking for you, though we can’t be sure. He keeps pointing to the picture over and over. He is weak and fragile. He can’t breathe on his own so they have him hooked up to machines to help him. Be prepared; he doesn’t look well, though the doctor assured me he isn’t in pain. They increased his meds and his breathing is slowing down. It’s going to happen soon, Roz.”
She is trying to put on a brave face but her whole body is trembling and she looks like the slightest wind would blow her over. I hug her while she cries for a moment.
“I need to get in there and see my little friend. You go wash your face and take a minute to yourself, okay?” She agrees and heads to the bathrooms. I take a deep breath, plaster on my best smile, and step into the room.
“I
heard a rumor that a little monkey boy wanted to see me,” I say, walking over to R.J’s bed.
He looks so weak and frail. He has lost so much weight since I last saw him and his breathing is labored and wheezy. I take his tiny little hand in mine and rub his head with my other hand.
“Hi, my sweet friend.”
He looks at me and his tiny little eyes bore holes into my soul. I can see his excitement at seeing me and it about does me in.
“I missed you so much, R.J. I swear those people in the Ministry are running me ragged. I wanted to see some more monkeys so bad so I thought to myself, ‘Roz, who would like to see another monkey as much as you would?’ And do you know who I came up with?” I smile down at him. He can’t respond back to me although his little eyes light up at the mention of monkeys.
“You don’t happen to know anyone who would like to see a monkey, do you?” I ask R.J’s dad, who is sitting on the other side of his bed with tears in his eyes.
“This little guy here likes monkeys a whole lot, don’t you, son?” He strokes R.J.’s hand.
I motion for the zookeeper who is holding the monkey in the doorway to come in. He steps in and as soon as R.J. sees the monkey a few tears roll down his little concave cheeks.
“Is it okay if he sits on the bed?” I ask the woman.
“Yes, he is very well behaved. Xavier, sit.”
The monkey sits on the edge of the bed, crawls right up to R.J., and snuggles into his side. R.J. moves his fingers but doesn’t have the strength to lift his hand. I pick up his hand and kiss it, then place it on the monkey so he can pet him.
“R.J., meet Xavier. He is a very special monkey.” I lean down and whisper in his ear. “I heard that animals have special powers. They can sense people’s pain and they can relax them. Touch his fur, don’t you feel relaxed?” R.J. smiles slightly and blinks his eyes.
“That means yes,” his dad says, choking back tears.
I look up to see his mom standing in the doorway, silently crying. She mouths “Thank you” to me.
I remain by R.J.’s side all day. Dexter comes in to meet him, and I switch places with his mom a few times. A few hours later R.J’s breathing becomes more and more labored. The nurse sends for the doctor, who tells his parents he thinks it’s getting close. He says he can give him more pain meds so he won’t have any pain, and that he would probably be gone soon after. His parents have tears sliding down their faces. I rub R.J’s head and tell him I love him, that Xavier is going to make sure he’s comfortable, then I trade places with his mom and leave to give the family some privacy.
I find out later R.J. died that night. He was at peace, pain free, and holding a monkey.
I find my mother; she takes me into an empty room and holds me while I sob. She tells me how proud of me she is and how I made R.J. so happy with the monkey and by being his friend. I cry until my face is swollen and my voice is raspy. Mom offers for Dex and I to come home with her and as tempted as I am, I can’t do it. I still have a country to run, even if I do have a broken heart.
Dex and I ride the train back to the Ministry in silence. He holds me to his side while I cry on and off. He doesn’t tell me it will be fine or that everything will be okay. He holds me and runs his hand through my hair. We go directly home as soon as we arrive. I’m not sure what time it is, but it’s late and everyone is asleep.
“Dex, would you mind if I sleep next to Grace tonight?”
“Of course not. I’ll take the couch.”
“Nonsense, you take my bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I sleep fitfully all night, and every time I wake up crying I hold Grace a little tighter until I fall back asleep. I wake up to a little hand rubbing my face.
“Rozzie,” she whispers.
My eyes fly open and I look up at her. “Grace, did you just say my name?” I ask, astonished.
She smiles at me and nods with a giggle. I give her a big hug.
“Thank you, Grace, I really needed that today. I love you.”
The five of us usually walk to work together and then break up and go our separate ways. Today I stay home with Dex and walk Grace to school. “I have great news for you,” I tell him when we are on our way to our offices.
“Good, I could use some.”
“Grace said my name this morning.”
The look of shock on his face has me laughing.
“Really? You’re sure she talked?”
“Yes. I’m sure it wasn’t the voices in my head, Dexter. She was rubbing my face and then said ‘Rozzie.’”
His eyes brim with tears.
“She’s starting to heal isn’t she, Roz?”
“Yes, I think she is. She will be a little chatterbox before you know it.”
He grins down at me and gives me a big hug before taking the P.V.E. to his office. Before he leaves, I ask him to tell the Council I will meet with them tomorrow. I can’t handle it today. Today I am going to catch up on paperwork and messages and then tomorrow I will dive back into work. I am too sad today to focus correctly. I open my message inbox and see I have one from my dad sent early this morning.
‘There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.’
-Washington Erving
I love you, Pumpkin!
Dad
I seriously have the best parents in the world. I dry my tears and get to work answering messages and doing busy work to keep my mind occupied. Around eleven o’clock a light knock on my door comes and Andi pops her head in.
“Hi. Am I interrupting anything?”
“Of course not, Andi. Come in.”
She comes in with a huge arrangement of beautiful roses. There are so many different colors: oranges and reds, pinks and yellows.
“These are for you, from Wesley. There’s a card.”
I pluck the card out and read it. He has written the lyrics to our favorite song that I sing whenever he is sad. He didn’t even sign his name. That is Wes’s way of cheering me up. When we were younger and I got sad he would bring me a handpicked rose. He said that since my name meant rose he thought they should make me extra happy. He must have been right because it always worked.
“These are perfect, thank you, Andi. I’m assuming this is your handiwork?”
“Yes, I put them together though Wes was very specific about what flowers to pick and he wrote the note himself.”
“Thank you, it was so sweet of you both.”
“Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, just sad. I’ll be better soon.”
“So how are things with you and Wes?” I ask because I’m curious, but I also want to change the subject.
Andi blushes and looks at the floor.
“Oh, Wes and I are only good friends.”
“But you want more?”
“I don’t think he is able to give more. At least not now,” she says quietly. “I’m not sure if he ever will.”
“He will, Andi; don’t give up. I can tell he likes you but Wes is a bit different. Social interactions make him uncomfortable and he has a hard time building personal relationships. Once he does, though, he’s yours for life.”
She doesn’t say anything and I let it go.
“Thank you again for the flowers, and please thank Wes for me.”
The rest of the day is spent mostly by myself catching up on things. Natasha stops by and brings me lunch. We eat together and keep the topics light. She shows me the ring Masters gave her, talks about how they are planning to have a small wedding, and asks if I would stand up with her. I wholeheartedly accept. When it’s time to leave for the day Wes and Molly show up to walk me home.
“Thank you for the flowers and card, Wesley. That sure was sweet.”
“You liked that huh?”
“Yes I did. I also liked that you had Andi help you.”
He r
olls his eyes. “Before you go getting any crazy ideas I only had her help so that you would hug her and not me.”
I laugh, and out of spite, I hug him.
It’s nice to be able to have our usual banter. Molly talks about one of the new interns on the floor who is cute, and Wes goes on about how much help the Career Department needs and how fortunate it is for them that he came when he did. It’s nice to have things back to normal, even if it’s only for a little while.
CHAPTER EIGHT
I tell Dex that before I meet with the Council again I want to tour the Ag Department so I have a better idea of what I’m working with. I have two hours before I’m supposed to meet with the department head, Max Coldwell. I am getting some of my messages and weekly updates out of the way when Judy buzzes me.
“Miss Roz, I have Dr. Wright’s assistant on the phone asking if you are available to come see her.”
“Now?”
“Yes. Apparently it’s not a request.”
Of course it isn’t. The Council warned me that I would have to have mandatory sessions, but a heads up would have been nice.
“Of course, Judy. Tell me where to go and I will be there soon.”
A few minutes later Judy comes in to my office. “Sorry, Miss Roz, apparently they are now strictly enforcing sessions without notice so you can’t prepare for them,” she says with an apologetic smile.
“Is delving into my innermost thoughts something I can prepare for?” I ask sarcastically.
Judy laughs. “I guess they think so. I sent the coordinates and directions to your watch. They will be expecting you. “
“Thank you, Judy. I’ll be back soon, hopefully more enlightened than when I left.” I reach Dr. Wright’s office in a few short minutes. It is painted a calming shade of green with soft music playing and a waterfall in the middle of the room. The assistant tells me to head on in, that the doctor is ready for me. I walk into the office to see a middle aged woman with a sweet smile and knowing eyes. She has brown hair that is mostly gray now, and glasses that hide light brown eyes. She is well dressed and waiting for me in a wing back chair.