by Jaci Wheeler
I give him a huge hug. “Thank you so much, Malik.”
As much as I want to stay and catch up with a few people, I don’t have the time today. I need to meet with the Council and finish what I started. Succeed or not, it’s time to try. As soon as I get back to the Ministry I go directly to Karl’s office. I want to see Aspen, though I know I will break down if she hugs me, and I need to stay strong until I see the Council. When Karl sees me his face pales and he looks serious for the first time since I’ve known him.
“President Thatcher.” He looks uncomfortable and isn’t sure how to act around me, I can tell.
“Hello, Karl. I’d like to meet with the Council right away. I assume they will see me?” I give him a look like I’m not really asking a question. He calls Dex, and all he has to say is that I am here and then hangs up.
“You are free to go back.”
“Thank you, Karl.”
I square my shoulders, take a deep breath, and put my game face on. I’m not going to show any weakness. They have to know I can do this; I refuse to cry or crumble.
I scan in and hold my head high as I walk into the room. I instantly see worry and concern on most of the faces. Dex looks exhausted and spent, like he’s aged about ten years overnight, and I want nothing more than to run to him and wrap my arms around him. “Hello, everyone.” I take my seat and look them all in the eye. I see a glint in Samuel’s eye and a hint of approval when he nods at me.
“Rosaline, how are you doing, honey?” Annabelle asks me with worry.
“I’m fine, Annabelle, thank you for asking. The doctor has me fully cleared and I’m ready to get back to work.”
Several shocked faces look back at me, and a few suspicious ones as well. Dex is staring at me, trying to figure me out. I can tell he doesn’t buy my “everything is fine” act.
Clarisse is looking at me suspiciously. “Just like that, everything is fine? You are going to act like a man wasn’t shot and died on top of you?”
I feel like she punched me but I refuse to let her win by showing how much her words hurt. I swallow back the tears and take deep, slow breaths.
“Clarisse!” Amira snaps and glares at her. “That wasn’t called for; you better watch what you say.”
Clarisse doesn’t look the least bit intimidated by her and smirks, which sends the fire in my stomach raging. It’s time to put her in her place once and for all.
“I didn’t say everything was fine, Clarisse; I said I was fine, and I am. I am not going to wallow and lick my wounds while my country suffers. The fact you could be so cold and callous when talking about one of our valued and loved staff members is alarming, however. What happened to compassion and understanding, Clarisse? I’d be careful if I were you. You wouldn’t want people to think you are no longer fit to be on the Council, would you? The rules are rather specific about those pesky little details like compassion, aren’t they?”
I have her there, and she knows it. She glares at me but doesn’t say another word.
Seamus clears his throat. “It’s been a tense and stressful couple of weeks. Tensions are running high and we need to leave that at the door.” He looks pointedly at Clarisse. “Roz, our first concern is for you and your health, and your emotional health is part of that. If you think you are fit to continue running the country and your doctor, as well as Dr. Wright agree, we are happy to have you back.”
“Thank you, Seamus. I haven’t talked to Dr. Wright since I just got back, but she is my next stop. Unless she says otherwise, I’d like to proceed as planned.”
Nadine raises her eyebrows. “You want to tell the people as scheduled?”
“Yes I do. I’m not going to change any plans because of what happened. I will not allow him to win.” She smiles and nods her agreement.
Dex eyes me for a long moment. “And you feel up to this?” His question is out of concern, not skepticism.
“Yes I do. Everyone is ready and trained. I spoke to Malik and he has all his people on board and standing by. He is going to stand with me as a united front and I was also hoping to have you by me as well.”
His face softens. “I would be no place else.”
“Then we proceed as scheduled.”
I look around and finally relax at seeing everyone nod. Clarisse once again opens her mouth.
“You are ready for your image consults as well?”
I smile back at her sweetly. “Of course. That’s what the council decided wasn’t it?”
Samuel laughs. “Yes, well, now that we have that covered we will be prepared to go forward as planned. Masters has already spoken to Dexter about changing things from live auditorium to live feed only. We won’t risk your safety again for any reason.”
“That’s understandable. Also, I know they already held a memorial service for Sebastian while I was in the hospital, but I also want to have a day of remembrance for him. It will be national and annual. Does anyone have a problem with this?”
I look at everyone, lingering longer on Clarisse.
No one says anything so Samuel nods. “That sounds like a wonderful plan, Roz. When were you thinking of holding this day?”
“The day before the announcement will be exactly one month. I think it’s fitting to take a day of remembrance, followed by action.”
Everyone agrees.
I stand to leave and Amira pulls me into a hug. “I’m so proud of you, Roz, and so relieved you’re all right.”
I choke back my tears, thank her, and make my way out before I break down.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I’ve been dreading this day all week. Today I am going to announce the Day of Remembrance in honor of Sebastian over a live intercom that will broadcast nationally. I have to make sure my emotions don’t run away with me, which feels like an impossible task since even thinking his name makes me cry.
When I arrive at work I am surprised to find Wes, Molly, Dex, Adams, Masters, and Natasha already waiting for me in my office. None of my friends said anything about an impromptu meeting when I saw them this morning, so what on earth could have happened now? Natasha steps forward, laying her hand on my shoulder in comfort.
“We know this announcement is going to be hard, so we just wanted to be here for support.” That makes me burst into tears I can’t stop even if I wanted to. I have the most supportive people in my life and I’m not sure what I did to earn them. It must have been hard for Adams, and especially Masters to show up and offer me support when they were much closer to Green than I was. I run up to Masters and he embraces me. He holds me for several minutes while I cry. I keep whispering “I’m sorry” and he keeps soothing me by rubbing my back. Finally, once we break apart, I wipe my eyes and Molly hands me a tissue.
“Are you going to be all right?” she asks. I don’t trust my voice so I simply nod.
Wes, always able to read me better than everyone else, looks at me skeptically.
“Are you sure this is a good idea? You giving the announcement, I mean. Wouldn’t it be better to have someone a little more distant from the situation do it?”
He’s right to ask. It doesn’t make sense to have the president blubbering all over the place, but this is something I feel strongly about.
“We stand for unity, Wes. When we celebrate we do it together. If I’m going share in the joy and happiness of my people, then I need to be willing to share in their grief as well. I want people to see my human side. I am the head of the country, and when we go into mourning as a country, it’s only right I lead that as well. Thank you for your concern, but I’ll get through it.”
He pats my back.
“I love you, Wes,” I whisper to him.
“I love you too, Roz.”
I speak up louder, addressing the room at large. “I love all of you more than words can express. You have no idea how much it means to me that you all showed up here to offer support.” I take a few deep breaths and signal Masters. He gets the live feed up from my computer and gestures for me to take
a seat.
“Have they already been informed of the announcement?” I ask, not knowing if I should give a heads up or not. Masters looks to Dex, who nods.
“Yes, the I.T. department has been sending out notices all week that there will be an announcement at nine sharp this morning. All the schools and places of work will receive your broadcast, as well as everyone’s tablets.”
“Thank you, Dex.”
I glance at the clock. I have thirty seconds until 9:00. I take another deep breath and then signal Masters, who hits the “announce” button.
“Good day, people of United America. It is with a heavy heart that I make this announcement this morning, and I ask that you please bear with me. As most of you know, Sebastian Green, a very respected and valued member of the Department of Defense, was killed exactly one month ago today.”
My voice trembles and I pause for a minute to get myself under control. “Sebastian was a beloved friend and colleague. He put his life on the line daily not only for me, but for all of you. There are so many men and women working to keep us safe on a daily basis for which I am so grateful. Sebastian saved my life the day he took a bullet intended for me.” I start to cry again. Dexter walks over and takes my hand in his. Wes rubs my back.
“I am eternally in debt to him, a debt which I will never be able to repay. However, I feel his sacrifice must be acknowledged and remembered. Sebastian believed in our country with his whole heart, as do I. He believed in the power of unity. As a country I believe it is our responsibility to rejoice together as well as cry together. Today is a day for us to unite in our grief. For those of you who never knew Sebastian, I am sorry because he was an amazing man. Please, take this time to be grateful for those men and women who put their lives on the line every day, take the time to spend with your loved ones, family and friends. Don’t ever let a moment go by without telling them how much they mean to you, because you never know when it might be their last. Tomorrow is going to be Sebastian Green Remembrance day. There will be no work or school and I’d like you to take this time to be with others and remember a man who gave his life for the future of our country. Thank you.”
I collapse into Dex’s arms and he holds me for a while. Once I calm down I look up to find everyone has quietly left the room. I’m instantly embarrassed for making such a spectacle of myself.
“Everyone understands your grief, Roz. They all feel it too. Take a few minutes to calm down; it’s all right.”
I get a few tissues while Dex brings me some water. I drink the whole glass then sit down on the couch, feeling drained.
“Are you sure you feel up to that image thing today? I can cancel. You look fine to me. I think it’s ridiculous they are putting you through this.”
I smile at him in appreciation. I think it’s pretty ridiculous as well, so I have to choose my battles, as my mother would say, and this isn’t one worth fighting.
“I’ll be fine. Who knows? Maybe it will help take my mind off everything.”
He grabs my hand. “I don’t see how they can make you any more beautiful than you already are. It isn’t fair to all those homely girls out there to try to make you even better looking.”
I slap his arm. “You be nice. I can’t believe you would say such a horrible thing.” I know why he did, though, and he gets the reaction he’s looking for. My tears are gone and I am smiling at him.
“How are you doing with all this, Dex? We haven’t had time to talk. I know I’m the one who was almost shot, but your dad was the one who did the shooting. Are you okay?”
Hurt, anger, bitterness, and exhaustion all play out on his face. He doesn’t usually let his guard down, but when he does it always breaks my heart to see how much pain this one man has had to endure.
“It is what it is, I guess. Conner Vaughn quit being my father the day he abandoned us. He has always been selfish and delusional. Adding psychopathic doesn’t surprise me one bit.”
“Grace doesn’t know, does she?”
Dex stiffens. “No, and she will never know. As far as Grace is concerned, she doesn’t have a dad.”
I understand why he wants to protect her, but at some point she is going to need more than that. However, that is a battle for another day.
“I’m sorry, Dex. I don’t understand why some people have to have life so hard, when others skate right through without a problem or a care in the world.” He can see the sadness in my eyes and he knows I am talking about us.
“I think it might be to teach each other. I couldn’t have gotten through these dark times without your light, Roz. If you had been bitter and hardened to the world like I was, who would I have to challenge me to open up? I don’t know why some people have to go through what they do, but I’m slowly starting to learn that you can do one of two things with the life you’ve been given. You can rise above it, or you can let it make you a bitter person. I don’t want to be bitter anymore, Roz.”
I can feel the honesty and sincerity radiating from him. “I don’t want that for you either, Dex. You will get there; I can see you’re already starting to heal. Take the time you need and you will get there.”
He looks at me with so much vulnerability it steals my breath away.
“And when I do? What happens then? Will you be waiting?”
“Of course I will.” I reach up and trace the scars on his face. “Just because we can’t be together now doesn’t mean I’m going to find someone else. I don’t want a boyfriend; I want you.” He leans down and kisses my forehead, and it takes all of my willpower to stand and walk away from him.
“I have an appointment to get to.” I spread my arms wide and spin around. “Take a good look, because there is a good chance you won’t recognize me when it’s over.”
I was going for light, but the look he gives me is anything but.
“It will be fine, Roz, don’t worry.” He stands up and comes over to where I am standing next to the open door.
“Thank you for waiting. I love you,” he whispers so softly I hardly hear him. Before I can respond he has already disappeared around the hall.
***
Exactly thirty minutes later I am in Cassandra Delacourt’s office, feeling out of place and wishing I could be anywhere but here. Cassandra is in her mid-thirties, completely stunning, and very much put together. I feel frumpy standing next to her. She has long copper hair with blonde highlights and her skin is flawless with her make-up artfully done. She has bright brown eyes and is dressed impeccably. She eyes me up and down and notes things down on her notebook at a frantic rate, only stopping to stare at me and mutter to herself. It is disconcerting. “That bad, huh?” I laugh nervously, and she completely ignores me. Instead she calls someone on the intercom and within minutes the office is swarming with several women each talking about something else all while sizing me up. My head is swimming with the overlapping chatter and I wish I was anywhere but here. Since nobody is talking to me anyway, I decide to send Masters a quick message.
R: Save me!
M: Operation Barbie is in full effect?
R: Yes! Are you going to come save me?
M: Now why would I do that?
R: Figured you wouldn’t be of any help!
M: If they set you on fire let me know! :)
Argh! He would say that, the aggravating man. Why would I ever think he would help me and not use this time to gloat? And a smiley face of all things!
I have no clue what I missed but I realize I am being ushered into another room. Oh well, I doubt it can get much worse.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
As it turns out, it did get worse, much worse. I stare in the full length mirror. After Aspen spent half a day getting me ready for my party, I was amazed when I saw the outcome. Now I don’t know what I am, but amazed I am not; closer to horrified, maybe. Looking at my reflection in the mirror I see a young looking sixty-year-old woman.
My hair has been colored, cut, teased, puffed, sprayed and who knows what else. I am wearing a tweed j
acket with a very itchy matching skirt. I have no clue what this color is called; it’s a mix of beige, rose, and olive green. It looks about as attractive as it sounds. Itchy seems to be the theme because the nylons I have on feel like they are filled with ants. My shoes are the chunkiest things I’ve ever seen, and I’m not even picky when it comes to shoes. I’m pretty sure Aspen would die if she saw this outfit.
I knew Clarisse had it in for me, and if her attitude didn’t reflect that, this little makeover only proves it. I don’t look like a mature young adult; I look like a little girl playing dress up. If I was uncomfortable with the idea of speaking to so many people before this, my new look has done nothing to build my confidence. I take a deep breath and turn to face the firing squad…I mean Cassandra and her helpers.
“Thank you so much for all your hard work, ladies. I know it took you half a day and I do appreciate all the time and effort you spent. However, I don’t think this look is really me.”
There, I said it as nice as I could.
“Nonsense,” Cassandra says while waving my comment away with her hand. “This is exactly the look the Council had in mind for you.”
Yep, this is for sure a set up. Cassandra has impeccable taste in her own clothes, there’s no way she thinks this looks good. I smile, thank Cassandra, and run out of there as fast as I can. I didn’t realize how late it was until I notice everyone in the office has gone home. I get my stuff and head for home.
Everyone is in the dining room already eating when I walk into the house. As soon as they spot me the noise and chatter instantly halts, and the only sound is Wes’s fork hitting his plate. Dex’s eyes look like they’re going to bug out of his head and Molly must blink at least fifty times. Of course Molly is the first to recover and also the first to speak.