“You’re a smart boy, figure it out.” The older man slid off the bar stool and pulled on his coat. That done, he looked back at Michael. “The other night, I was looking for you because I wanted to thank you.”
Michael shoved his hands into his pockets. “What for?”
“For not being your father’s son. That’s right,” he added at Michael’s scoff. “My daughter doesn’t use the good sense God gave her. Your father wouldn’t have thought twice about taking her up on her offer.”
Michael drew his eyebrows together, watching as Sam crossed the room. When he reached the door he stopped and glanced back over his shoulder. “Ponder that before you toss it all away, Michael.” Then he was gone.
Michael stared at the empty doorway, the unsettling sensation in his stomach spreading. He’d never considered that his father could have lied to him about loving his mother or about the reason he left. And he’d bought into everything his father had told him because he’d been young and scared and desperate to hear that his father wasn’t such a bad guy.
I love your mother, but I can’t change who I am. Michael grimaced as his father’s words rang in his ears. With that statement—lie, he corrected—his father had freed himself from all responsibility. And that was the difference between himself and his father—he’d taken responsibility for who he’d thought he was all along.
Michael looked down at his hands. Sam was right. Although Susi was gorgeous, taking her up on her offer had never even crossed his mind. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her...just as he hadn’t wanted to hurt Katie. His own feelings and needs, had taken a back seat to those of others.
His father had never worried about anyone but himself. Michael’s lips curved into a smile, the smile led to a burst of laughter. He wasn’t like his father. Maybe he had been once, but not anymore. He’d made his choice years ago—to care about other people, to be kind... to love and be loved.
Katie. He had to see her, had to tell her what he’d learned and how he felt. Calling for his two waitresses to hold down the fort until his relief came in, he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.
* * *
Katherine stepped out of her car, her lips tilting into a smile. The day was wet but warm; in the distance she could hear bird song. It was hard to believe that spring might actually be here. She pushed the hair away from her face, her smile vanishing. The way she felt inside, it might never be spring again.
She reached back into the car for her computer bag, then slammed the door shut behind her and started across the parking lot. The three weeks since Michael had walked out of her life had passed slowly, second by second, minute by minute. But they had passed. And in that time the pain had deadened, but not eased. If that made any sense, Katherine thought, looking up at the gray sky.
She climbed the steps to the Social Sciences building and went inside. She stopped, glancing uncertainly down the hall. Would Michael be here? She thought not, but a lingering doubt—or was it hope—plucked at her. Katherine lifted her chin. Either way, it made no difference to her. He was right, she was better off without him.
Katherine’s hands shook, just a little, and she drew in a deep breath. She was such a fake. Nothing had ever mattered to her more and she wasn’t better off without him—she was miserable. And even after he had looked her in the eye and told her he didn’t love her, she couldn’t accept it.
She started slowly down the hall, tears flooding her eyes. She blinked, feeling like an idiot. He couldn’t have been more plain or more blunt—and here she was, still hoping, still fooling herself. After eight years, nothing had changed. Maybe Michael was right, history would be repeated no matter how hard you tried to change it.
Katherine squared her shoulders. That wasn’t true. She had changed history. The ending might have remained the same, but she’d taken a stand, she’d shaped events rather than being a pawn to them. And she would go on. She would never forget Michael, probably never stop loving him, but she would make a life for herself.
And maybe someday it wouldn’t feel as if she was being torn apart, heart first.
Katherine stepped into the classroom, her eyes immediately finding Marilyn. The woman gave a small shake of her head, and a combination of disappointment and relief flooded through her. Michael hadn’t come.
She silently mouthed “thank-you,” then let her gaze circle the room. Contrasting sharply with the meeting eight weeks ago, there was little discussion and no laughter today; the students were gathered in small, solemn groups or sitting alone at desks, doodling or staring into space.
Katherine remembered her own first attempts at research and her first failure and tossed a reassuring smile at Marilyn. It was time for her to forget her own disappointment and deal with theirs. She snapped the door shut behind her. “Good afternoon, everybody. Are we ready to begin?”
* * *
Michael checked his watch and gunned the engine. The powerful car shot forward, making it through the light at the entrance to the college just as it turned red.
It was Friday afternoon and the campus was almost deserted. With nothing to slow him down, he angled across the parking lot, screeching to a stop at the base of the steps in front of Katherine’s building. He flung open the door, intending to leave the car where it was, not caring what size ticket he got. He had to get to her, had to see her. He squeezed his eyes shut. God, please let it not be too late.
Heart pounding, he jumped out of the car and raced up the stairs. He felt freedom, maybe for the first time in his life. But with the freedom came fear—that he’d blown it, that he really had thrown it all away.
He slammed through the doors and started down the hall at a dead run. He heard her voice and the blood rushed to his head. He’d never known a sound could be so welcome—like coming home.
He stopped outside the classroom door. She was standing in front of the group, her hands shoved into the pockets of a navy jacket. Her hair was pulled back with a big clip; she was wearing the heavy glasses he remembered from years ago. She’d never looked more beautiful.
Feeling uncertain, even vulnerable, he stepped through the door.
“—and finally, I commend you on your professional, scholarly approach. Because of your professionalism, the data you have accumulated will be of great value to future sociologists. Research isn’t about being right; it’s about answering questions. You did that. Congratulations.” She beamed at her students. “If no one has anything to add—”
“I do,” Michael said.
Katherine jerked around in surprise. Michael was standing in the doorway, his mouth curved into one of his award-winning smiles, looking happier than she’d ever seen him. She curled her fingers into her palms so tightly her nails bit into the flesh. She wasn’t a woman who condoned violence, but at this moment she could have killed him. And if he didn’t stop looking at her as if nothing had changed between them, she would.
“I wanted to say goodbye... and invite you all to a wedding. I hope to be getting married soon and would be pleased if—”
Katherine gripped the edge of the podium. Married? The image that had haunted her for weeks—the long-legged blonde, pressed against Michael, his head bent to look into her eyes—shot into her head. And with the image came pain, a debilitating pain that left her breathless.
He’d lied to her—about not being the marrying kind, about not being able to commit. The truth was, he’d simply left her for another woman. Blinded by tears, she gathered up her laptop and papers and shoved them into her bag. She darted a glance back at Michael—he’d been surrounded by students who were slapping him on the back and wishing him well. She slipped past the crowd and out into the hall. She hadn’t gone a dozen steps when she heard him behind her.
“Katie wait!”
She speeded up, pulling out the keys to her office as she did. Just before she reached the safety of her door, he caught her elbow. She jerked away from his grasp. “Don’t touch me!”
Michael dropped his hand, shocked
by the depth of her fury. He’d handled this all wrong. How could he have been so stupid to assume... to think... He shook his head. Talking to people, especially women, had always been easy. The right question, the perfect response, had always been on the tip of his tongue. He’d been able to soothe, woo and cajole without a second thought. But now, when it mattered, he’d totally blown it.
He saw her hands were trembling as she unlocked her office. “Katie,” he said softly as she opened the door. “We need to talk.”
She didn’t look at him. “We said our goodbyes, Michael.”
As she slipped inside, he put a hand on the door, preventing her from shutting him out. “Katie... about the engagement—”
She whirled on him then, unable to contain her anger another second. “I can’t believe you came here! I can’t believe—” She brought a trembling hand to her mouth, trying to compose herself. When she once again felt she could speak without completely falling apart, she asked, “Why did you pick her? Because she doesn’t really care for you and you don’t love her? Because that way it’s nice, easy...safe?” She balled her hands into fists. “Does she know about us? Have you told her we were sleeping together?”
Michael stared at her in confusion. Who and what was she talking about? He reached out to touch her and once again she jerked away. “Maybe we’d better back up,” he said as quietly and with as much control as he could. “I don’t know what—”
“Back up?” Color flooded her cheeks and she jutted out her chin. “Isn’t that too much like repeating history? You were right, Michael. You’re no good for me and I’m running as fast and far as I can from you.”
The sarcasm in her voice ripped at him as much as the words. He pulled her into his arms. “If you’d let me explain, Katie. I love—”
“You wouldn’t know love if it hit you in the face!” She struggled to free herself. “You’re so wrapped up in the past that—”
He caught her words with his mouth. He heard her quick intake of breath, felt her hands flatten and press against his chest. When he lifted his mouth she was still stiff in his arms, but at least now she was so mad she couldn’t speak. It was his turn. “Yes, I would,” he murmured. “And it did hit me right in the face. I’m still reeling from it. I love you, Katie.”
Her glasses had slipped down her nose and she tipped her head back so she could see his face. She drew her eyebrows together. “You don’t love me. You love the blonde.”
Michael laughed and nudged the glasses back up her nose. It wasn’t like Katie to be irrational. He would take it as a good sign. “What blonde?”
“The one from the parking lot. The one you—” it still hurt and she caught her breath “—went to the morning after we made love.”
“I don’t know what...” His words trailed off as comprehension dawned. “You mean Susi?”
“No, not Susi. The woman who...” Her words trailed off and hope sprang to life inside her. She tried to check it. “Susi?”
“Uh-huh.” Michael tightened his arms around her. “That morning she came to the condo. Apparently, she didn’t believe we were living together. The clothes strewn all over the living room were pretty convincing. I walked her out to her car.”
Katherine’s cheeks heated. “But when I saw you, she had her hands on your shoulders and was—”
“Saying goodbye,” Michael said simply. “Giving it one last try.”
“Oh.” Katherine rested her forehead against his chest, assimilating what he’d said. “I feel pretty dumb.”
“You?” he teased. “A Ph.D.? A full professor? A—”
“Yes,” she said, laughing up at him, the hope of moments before blossoming, filling her with light and warmth. She remembered then the reason he had left, and as quickly as it had blossomed, the hope withered and died. She moved out of his arms. “I don’t think I can fight your ghosts, Michael. I know I can’t fight the past.”
“You don’t have to, Katie.” He reached out and touched her hair, just once, then dropped his hand. “I realized today that I could change history—that I already had. I realized that a person can make himself anything he wants to be, that who you are has more to do with determination and will than with blood.” One corner of his mouth lifted. “I was so blinded by the past that I couldn’t see the lessons I’d already learned.”
“Oh, Michael.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m happy for you.”
He smiled. “Your lectures helped. So did having to do without you.” He inched her glasses back up to the bridge of her nose again. “You see, even back then I loved you. I was just too young and stupid to acknowledge it. All of a sudden you were out of my life, and I was devastated.”
He’d loved her all along. Suddenly it seemed as if a part of her that had been torn wide open years ago was now mended. And it felt wonderful. Wonderful and warm and-- She looked up at him then. “We almost lost each other,” she whispered. “We could have gone our separate ways and—”
“We didn’t.” He caught her bottom lip between his teeth and gently tugged. “Now I’m only worried about one thing.”
“One?” She looked up at him, concerned.
“Mmm, just one.” He found the pulse behind her ear and pressed his lips to the spot, liking the way it throbbed in response. “I don’t think I can wait till we get home to make love.”
“Oh...” Relief flowed through her and she relaxed against him. Looping her arms around his neck, she murmured, “We could always—” she brushed her lips along his jaw “—just—” she caught an earlobe between her teeth and nipped “—stay here.” She reached behind her and locked the door, then wound her fingers in his hair and pulled his head to hers. Their lips met and parted, their tongues toyed, then twined.
For long minutes they just kissed, reveling in the taste of love, the flavor of commitment. Then Katherine pushed his sweater over his head, delighting in the feel of his firm, muscled flesh under her palms and the knowledge that there was no rush—he would be with her forever.
Michael followed her lead, gently slipping her glasses off, then disposing of her soft, knit turtleneck and wool slacks. He savored the sensation of her skin against his, finding a special pleasure—pleasure that warmed not only his flesh but his whole being—in the knowledge that she wanted him for everything he was and for eternity.
And knowing there was an eternity, their lovemaking was slow, delicious, perfect. They moved together without thought or question, reaching the summit as one.
The journey back was just as easy, just as satisfying. Michael pulled her closer into his arms. “Are you warm enough?”
“Mmm... toasty.” She snuggled against him. “How are you? Comfortable?”
Michael smiled—she looked adorable. “This chair could use a little more padding, but it’ll do.”
“Good.” She leaned back and squinted to see his face. “Because I’m not moving.”
He reached around her and found her glasses, then slipped them on her. “Lost a contact?”
“Uh-uh.” She took a deep breath. It was time to start being honest with him—about everything, always. “My eyes have been bothering me.”
“Working too hard?”
“No. Crying too much.”
“Aw, Katie...” He touched the tip of her nose with his, his eyes and voice filled with remorse. “I was such a idiot. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“You’ll hurt me again, Michael,” she said softly. “It’s a part of life—it happens. What matters is that we love each other and try to be kind.”
He caught her lips in a slow, exquisite kiss. When he lifted his head, he said, “I can’t believe I almost let you get away.”
“I know.” She squirmed on his lap, shifting so she could more fully face him. His response to her movement was instant and she smiled wickedly. “But you’ll have to marry me to keep me.”
Michael arched an eyebrow. “Is that a proposal?”
“Yes.” She tilted her chin playfully. “I’ve learned it pays
a girl to go after what she wants. Besides, my students are expecting a wedding and now that the blonde’s out of the picture, there’s no one else around for you to marry.”
Michael lowered his head. “What would your students think about the day after tomorrow?”
“Oh, Michael... I don’t know. There are the blood tests and my parents and—” As his lips caught hers, she forgot everything but the feel of his mouth on hers and the meaning behind the kiss. They had later to talk... and forever to be friends. Katherine sighed and pulled him closer.
About the Author:
A New York Times and International bestselling author of romantic thrillers, Erica Spindler began her career writing sexy romances for Silhouette and Bantam Books. Her skill for crafting engrossing plots, creating compelling characters, and touching hearts has earned her both critical praise and legions of fans.
Erica is a four-time RITA® Award finalist, a Romance Writers of America Honor Roll member, and a Kiss of Death award winner. Her romantic thriller BONE COLD won the prestigious Daphne du Maurier Award for excellence. Perhaps the craziest place her career has taken her is to Japan, where her novel RED was turned into a successful manga series then adapted for television, becoming a popular daytime drama.
Erica is currently writing a paranormal thriller series called The Lightkeepers. The first book in the series, THE FINAL SEVEN, is out now, and the second, TRIPLE SIX, publishes November, 2016. In addition to her series, she’s putting the finishing touches on a new romantic thriller, THE OTHER GIRL.
Erica lives in atmospheric New Orleans, Louisiana, the setting of many of her novels.
Connect with Erica Spindler Online:
Facebook: www.Facebook.com/EricaSpindler
Twitter: @EricaSpindler
Instagram: @ericaspindler
Website: www.ericaspindler.com
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