I keep my eyes on Red, never looking away, scared I’ll miss something if I do.
“Of course, bikers always try to make the mother of their child their old lady. Well, any decent one would. Jade was having none of it. ‘Course, I couldn’t make her be with me. However, I wanted to be in my son’s life. Jade promised me that she’d never take Scott away from me.
“I had a good father-son relationship with Scott. He was my little soldier, wanted to be just like his old man. He’d always tell me from the minute he could talk.” He chuckles, and I see such love in his eyes.
However, if he loved my brother so much, why in the hell did he walk away from him?
“I took that boy everywhere with me whenever I could. Your mom didn’t care as long as I had Scott back by the time I said I would. Months passed like days, and Jade was with someone else by then...”
“My father?” I shouldn’t have cut him off, but if there’s a chance Red knows who my father was, then I want to know.
He looks at me, his eyes searing into me. What is he looking for?
“He wasn’t your father, Fallon.”
I sag with the weight of it all. It’s like being a child, one minute so excited that Santa Claus is coming, to find out the next that the man in the big red suit is actually the old man down the road doing a favor for the parents of the town. Not that I ever believed in Santa, he never brought me anything.
“I know you don’t remember your mother much, Scott told me. He also told me how she left you both. If I’d known, believe me, I would’ve had you both living with me.” I smile slightly, that was nice of him to say. To be honest, just looking at him, I know what he’s saying about taking care of both of us is true. It eases my heart a little.
“I never walked away from my son, Fallon. That wasn’t what happened, regardless of what your mother told you both.” I say nothing. There’s nothing for me to say right now, I just want Red’s side of things.
“When Scott was eighteen months old, your mother started seeing a man a lot older than herself,” Figures. He probably had money. “That man was my wife’s father. That’s how I met her. She was seventeen and so beautiful.” He says dreamily. “Didn’t take me long to fall in love with her. Never wanted to thank your mother for anythin’, but I can’t deny that I thanked her and George for bringing Tammy into my life.”
What the? But that would make Tammy my sister if that man turns out to be my father! However, just like he could read my mind, Red says, “That man wasn’t your father, Fallon. I had thought it might be possible at one point, but Tammy assures me that her father could no longer have children when he was with your mother. Moreover, it’s not like your mother was faithful.” Oh. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I just wanted you to know that.
“Besides, George died before Scott was two and a half. Your mother met someone else soon after. I’m assuming he was your father.” I am never going to find my father because there is no way I could track down every damn man that slut slept with. Christ!
“Anyway, the last time I saw my boy, I’d taken him out for the day. I took him to the clubhouse. He loved it there.” Red smiles fondly. “At the end of the day, I took Scott home. He did the usual, begging me to stay, not to leave him, said he wanted to live with me. Fuckin’ kills a man to hear his son say such things.”
I close my eyes with my lips pressed between my teeth. I can’t bear the thought of my brother being so young and so scared to be without his daddy. What kind of bitch was my mother that her little boy would beg his daddy like that?
“I told him, ‘I love you, Scotty. Daddy is not gonna leave you. You gotta stay with your momma tonight, but I’ll come by in the mornin’ and collect you. We’ll go fishin’ just you and me.’ Boy was so excited.”
Red is quiet for a moment, looking out at the park scenery.
“I never saw him again. Bitch took off that night with my boy and left no trace behind. Believe me; I fuckin’ searched for years. Every new town I went to, I looked, thinkin’ ‘Is my boy here?’ but I never found him.
“The day I married Tammy, all I could think about was my boy and where was he now. Ain’t nobody I would ‘a rather have had by my side that day than my boy. I lost hope of ever findin’ him as the years went on.”
“How did he find you?” I cough a little. Throat’s gone dry.
“I was workin’ in the garage with some of the boys, fixin’ up a truck, when the Cutthroats came ridin’ in like they’d got a goddamn death wish. Soon as he took his helmet off and climbed off that bike, I knew. I knew I was starin’ at my boy, so did some of the others that were there that day, the older guys. They’d been with me through tryin’ to find Scott, including our Prez.
“Was darn crazy. Scott looked at me while Brick was shootin’ his mouth off at the Prez. That stupid prick was so insane he thought he was untouchable on our turf.” Sounds like Brick, that man thinks he’s God himself. “I saw the look in Scott’s eyes. Couldn’t believe he was patched in with them idiots. Always thought he’d be a Snake.” I could imagine my brother wearing a Snakes Henchmen cut alongside his father and Trace.
“Thor.” Red chuckles to himself. “Boy was built like Thor. Couldn’t believe my eyes. Then he says, ‘I know you.’ I nodded at him. His eyes widened, and he said, ‘Dad?’ My boy fuckin’ recognized me. I walked right up to him, and I grabbed him. All them years of wonderin’ and there he was...”
I’m so glad Scott got that moment with his dad before all that shit happened... Before I lost him.
“Brick was beyond pissed. He’d gone there to fight, but my boy wasn’t havin’ any of it. Refused to fight his old man. Told Brick he’d take off his cut right then and there and walk away if that’s what he wanted. A man’s club is supposed to be the most important thing in his life if he ain’t got an old lady and kids to care for. Scott didn’t care.
“God knows he got some shit from those Cutthroat bastards over the following weeks, as was expected. Those fuckers hated us and would do anything to wind us up and get a reaction. However, they didn’t wanna lose Scott to the Snakes, so they said nothing when he came to see me.
“Anyway, Scott and I got to know each other all over again over a couple of months. He spent time with my family, meeting his younger brothers,”
“Scott has younger brothers?” He gained more siblings? Great!
“Yes. Three. Cole, Trey, and Cullen.” Wow. Scott had brothers. Something I’ll never have again. “Scott told us about you. Gutted when I told him I wasn’t your father. He wanted to know who was, but I couldn’t tell him. Truth is, and I know this is gonna hurt, but your dad could ‘a been anyone.”
Yeah, hurts more than I’m willing to let on. It just cements the fact that I’m alone in the world. No blood relatives at all. No one to care about me. Okay, someone, but I can’t go there, I’m no good, I’d ruin them. I won’t do that.
“I told Scott that it didn’t matter to me; you’d still be part of the family. Tammy and me, we’d treat you no different to the boys.” When did the tears start? I keep looking forward and wipe my eyes, hopefully without Red noticing. “The very last time I saw Scott, he told me that he was leaving his club, he belonged with me and mine, Shepard had already okay’d it for Scott to take the loyalty tests. He was gonna be one of us.
“Then he told me that he’d be bringing you by the clubhouse as soon as he could. Asked me not to tell you about me not being your dad. Didn’t want you feeling like an outsider,”
Sounds like Scott, but was he just going to let me believe this man was my father? I can’t even be mad about it because that’s Scott all over. He would never want me to feel alone or abandoned. Now I feel like a bitch for being so mad with him.
“He never showed that night.”
No, because I killed him.
My heart is breaking while Red explains how much it hurt, not knowing where his son was, or if something had happened to him or not, and how he tried to get the Cutthroats to tell him whe
re Scott was and what happened to him.
Red honestly thought they’d found out about Scott’s plans to leave the club. Everyone knows you don’t leave one club for another. Not without a trade-off, that’s how these guys work. You can be shipped out to different charters, but you don’t abandon your club.
The cutthroats told Red nothing more than Scott had left the club and wouldn’t be coming back. Which only made Red even more suspicious. You don’t get to leave. Not alive at least. However, Red couldn’t prove Brick and his men had done anything to Scott, and Shepard wouldn’t allow Red to act on his anger. Even though he did once or twice. Each time he tried to get one of Brick’s men to talk, they wouldn’t, he ended them.
I can’t even imagine what kind of war that would have caused if Brick could have proven Red was responsible.
However, nothing Red did led him to find my brother. All the frustration he felt, never knowing if his son was alive or dead. Always knowing Scott would never have just upped and left without saying anything. Especially not when they’d just been reunited and how close they’d become again.
I sit mutely listening to Red as he tells me how he’ll kill whoever is responsible for Scott’s death because Red will never give up until he finds that person.
Me.
It’s no more than I deserve.
But still, I stay silent. I don’t tell Red that I’m responsible. I don’t want this man to hate me just yet. I need his support in order to get through what we have to do. I don’t want to know anything about my father because I don’t deserve to know that either. I deserve the lonely, sad life I’m going to lead after we put my brother in the ground.
* * *
Red convinced me not to wait, not to keep Scott holding on any longer. It’s painful for both of us, but he’s right, this isn’t fair to Scott. He needs peace from all of this. However, if one more person tells me that Scott is not really there anymore, that he hasn’t been since the night it happened, I may well end up in prison for murder!
I try to keep my tears at bay as I watch Red with Scott. His hand gently stroking Scott’s limp hair back before he kisses his forehead.
Tammy’s here. Red called her and asked her to meet us at the hospice. She’s crying beside me while trying not to make any noise. There are also a few members of the Snakes Henchmen outside the room — the older members who remember my brother from when he was a child. I only know one or two of them, and that’s because they’ve been to the strip club.
I may not know them, but it’s nice that they’d be here to support Red and to say goodbye to my brother. Everyone needs somebody to be there for them. Right now, I wish Trace were here with me, just as a friend. I could use one of those right now.
How the hell am I meant to get through this?
How am I meant to stand by and watch the doctor turn off my brother’s machine? He’ll really be gone then, and I’m not sure I’m ready for this, as much as I told Red that I was.
“Sleep well, Son,” My heart aches for Red. “I’ll always love you,” His voice cracks and he clasps his hand over his mouth and turns away.
“Oh, Red,” I swallow back a sob and watch Tammy holding her now sobbing husband for a moment. It’s hard to see such a big, strong, proud man break down like this. It’s painful.
I make my way over to my brother and take his hand in mine. I look at his face, and I remember the handsome, strong man who protected me my whole life. The man I owe everything to. The man I let down so badly.
“Hi, Scott. Your dad told me what you tried to do for me, how you wanted to share him with me. You always shared everything with me.” I bring his hand to my face and hold it against my cheek. His palm is warm, like always. How can they say there’s no life in my brother when he’s still so warm?
Because the machine keeping him alive keeps him warm, Fallon, they keep his heart pumping, remember?
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I’m so sorry I haven’t let you go before now. I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone.” I can’t stop the tears any longer. I let them fall from my eyes, yet I try not to sob.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, a steady hand that is literally keeping me grounded right now. “You’re not alone, little mouse.” I turn, almost snapping my neck to look at him. I open my mouth to speak, how the hell did he get here so quickly? “It’s okay; I’m here.” Trace tells me with a kiss to my head. I just nod and lean back against him. I don’t know how or why he’s here, but right now, I need him so much.
I look at my brother and kiss him one last time, tears drowning me. “Goodnight, my sweet prince.”
I force myself to look away, telling myself if I don’t, now, I never will. It has to be now, Scott deserves peace. I have to stop being so selfish. I have to think of him. My eyes lock with Red’s, he nods once as he takes my brother’s other hand. I may have looked away, but I won’t let go of his hand yet.
I nod my head and close my eyes because I can’t watch the doctor turn off the machine. I’m trying so hard not to sob. I can’t watch my brother disappear in front of my eyes.
I’m trying so hard not to fall to apart. I’ll do that at home. Alone.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” I shake my head at Red. I don’t want to open my eyes. “Look at him, Fallon. He looks peaceful.”
Deep breath, Fallon. Do this for Scott.
So that’s what I do, I take a deep breath and open my eyes. I sob and laugh at the same time. He looks so young with the tube gone from his throat. I stroke his cheek, a tear falls from my eye and lands on his jaw. This is it. This is goodbye. Forever.
Chapter Eleven
Trace
That was possibly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to witness in my life, and I’ve done and seen some fucked up things in my time.
When I rolled into town after three days away, I didn’t expect to hear half the club was at Vine Achers Hospice. Even weirder when Coral explained how Red is Fallon’s brother’s father.
Yeah. Total shocker.
Nova told me that Fallon and Red were over at the hospice switching off Scott’s machine. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what that must have felt like for her. And Red? Goddamn, the man has been friends with my old man for years. He’s the real reason my father came around to me being part of the club. It took my mother a while to come around to a man who got his name by shedding blood like he’s spilling water. Though Red soon won her round with natural charm. I call it manipulation, but whatever.
I fucking felt for Red and what he was going through with his son. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if it ever happened to me. Which it won’t because I’m never having kids. Don’t want the little monsters.
I rode over to the hospice as quick as I could. I hadn’t even been home to shower and drop my stuff off. I just wanted Red to know I was there for him, but most of all, I wanted Fallon to know, I was there for her.
And I was there for her, for both of them. Although Red didn’t need me, the brothers were there for him, as was Tammy. Fallon cried as she said goodbye to her brother. She kissed his head, then walked away. I called after her, but she ran.
I still haven’t been able to find her.
How can one small girl disappear so damn quickly?
I ride around the streets of the town, out of it and into the next, and then back to the clubhouse. I don’t know why I think Fallon would be at the clubhouse. I’ve never once brought her here, so I don’t stay. I don’t even go through the gate. I turn around and keep looking.
I haven’t seen Fallon anywhere so far. Where the fuck could she be? I don’t know where the hell to look.
I ride over to Stilletthoe. I don’t know why I think she’ll be here, but it’s the only other place I can think of. I park my motorcycle and make my way inside. The club is packed out as usual. Since we took over, the place is always pumping. It’s doing as well as every other strip club we own.
Tammy’s really cleaned up. Brought in new girls, g
ot rid of some of the old ones who couldn’t stick to the rules. The brothers and I put the word out around the city that our titty bar is the best around. Probably scared off a few cunts, but drop the name Draven Vidal and every man comes running.
I make my way over to the bar, pushing my way through the rabble watching the show on stage. Some busty black girl with a big ass, shaking everything she’s got for the crowd. In normal circumstances, I’d be watching the show and giving the girl the eye, ready to take her out back and fuck her. As it is, my mind is on Fallon and nothing and no one else.
“Jimmy?!” I bang my fist on the bar to get his attention. He holds his hand up for me to wait ’til he’s finished serving. Big fucking mistake right now!
I jump the bar and storm over to Jimmy, grabbing him by his shirt front. “When I fuckin’ call you, you come runnin’. You get me?” He nods with bugged-out eyes. “Where’s Fallon?”
“Bal-Balcony!” He stammers. I yank him closer, a warning not to mess with me, before pushing him away from me with force. Prick stumbles back against the mirrored wall that holds the liquor. Bottles and glasses clang together, but right now, I couldn’t give a fuck if they all crash to the fucking ground and smash.
I let out a growl at the fuckers staring at me.
Cunts!
They soon look away.
I jump the bar and push past the idiots, making my way out the back toward the stairs that lead to the outside balcony. It’s more a smoking spot for people. Titty bar is a no-smoking zone, after all.
“Trace!”
The hand on my arm stops me with a roll of my eyes, and I grit of my teeth. “What is it, Tess?” Ace’s old lady is a good woman, just like Tammy, but I don’t have time for this right now.
“I’m assuming you’re here for Fallon?” I nod. “Good because I can’t get through to her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s high, Trace,” My eyes widen. One thing I can’t bear is a druggie. I understand she’s just done and gone through the toughest thing she’ll ever go through, but drugs? “I don’t know what she’s on, but this ain’t good. We can’t have this here, Fallon is too young to even be in the building. We could lose out license.” I narrow my eyes, what the hell? “Yeah, she’s underage. Fallon is only twenty, and that’s why she won’t be working here anymore. Fucking fake I.D. Should’ve picked up on it right away, but we didn’t, and we can’t change that now.”
Two Of A Kind: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 7