They continued down the petunia-lined path, Isaac walking ahead of her, talking wine with some local aficionados. Elly lingered behind, taking it slow and leaning on the railing, feeling her stomach clench with each step. Please don’t explode, she pleaded with herself. No one wants to kiss a woman who explodes. Her stomach let out a load moan. Isaac turned around, looking embarrassed.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?”
He called me sweetheart! she thought joyfully, before her stomach clenched again.
“Not…great,” she said.
Isaac pulled her aside. “Do you want to go back?” he asked.
“No, no. This is wonderful. I really want to finish the tour. Plus, I really need a glass of wine.”
“Okay. We could do this another day…we could go back to the hotel… get more comfortable…” his voice lifted suggestively.
Elly felt her stomach tighten and press down. “Er, I need a bathroom.”
Isaac looked grossed out at the thought. Yes, I have to use a bathroom occasionally, she thought, try not to be shocked. Isaac waved his hand at the tour guide.
“Um, excuse me, my, um,” there was a delicate pause, “My friend needs to use the bathroom.” The crowd’s eyes turned upon Elly.
“Thanks for saying that out loud”, she murmured softly. Isaac winked at her. The guide strolled up to Elly.
“Okay ma’am. Listen to me. You are going to head back up to the main building. Take a right just outside the back door. Then you are going to head to the bottom level via the elevator. Take a left at the stained glass windows, past the kettles and around the back. The closest restroom is there.”
Elly nodded frantically. Isaac pulled her close.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked nervously. Elly pondered the consequences of that decision.
“No, no. I’m fine.”
Isaac looked visibly relieved. Elly’s stomach rumbled. She quickly hurried away from the group.
Okay, she said to herself, walking quickly up to the main building, keep it together. Huffing, she pulled herself up the hill and through the backdoor of the colonial house. She looked around. She was in a long dark hallway, with low walls in grey stone and old pictures in brass frames. At the end was an elevator. Elly pushed the button repeatedly and hummed to calm herself. Please let me make it to the bathroom, please let me make it…CURSE that stupid sandwich! The doors open and Elly launched herself inside. The elevator hummed slowly downwards. The doors opened and Elly broke out in a full run towards the bathroom. She found it quickly and there was no one inside, much to her relief.
Ten minutes later, Elly emerged, feeling much better. She walked down the corridor in front of giant silver fermentation tanks, distracted by an intense search for gum in her purse. Sighing happily, her stomach a placid lake and her mind on Isaac, she turned the corner towards the elevator. She walked past the stained glass windows, each etched with blues and greens, depicting wines pouring out of bountiful urns. They were luminous, and Elly ran her fingers over the raised iron, the windows bathing her in light. She took a deep breath in.
Here I am, she told herself, on vacation with a gorgeous man who is crazy about me. It’s amazing where life can go…I never dreamed I would be here. She sighed happily and followed the arched hallway. Elly walked for a couple of minutes before she realized that she had missed the elevator. She turned around. There were hallways on either side of her. She started to walk back the way she came. The hallway continued, but no elevator. She ran back a couple of steps. More hallway. Elly tried to quell her rising anxiety. Okay, I came down the hall, past the stained glass, turned the corner at the elevator… she traced her steps. It didn’t help that she was walking quickly, slightly panicked.
She ended up in a giant underground cellar, flanked by arching stone walls the held the foundation of the house. Red oxidized brick lined the room, which was filled with tons of wine barrels. The air was damp and musty, tinged with the sweet smell of berries, licorice and mushrooms. Dim yellow lighting hung from the corners. It was both romantic and intensely scary, and it reminded her of catacombs. Elly started hyperventilating and leaned against the barrels. Maybe if I just head to the end of the corridor, she thought, I’ll find an exit. She didn’t. She also didn’t find an exit in between the barrels, or near the doors. One long wine filled corridor led to another and another. She couldn’t find her way back to the entrance. Again and again she circled back, weaving her way in between endless barrels.
Her spirits faded as her panic took over. Her thoughts bordered on absurd. This was it. She was hopelessly lost in the basement of a winery. It had been about an hour since she had left the tour. Search parties had been called off. Isaac had found another woman to sweep off her feet. Snarky Teenager had taken over Posies and turned it into a racy underwear store. It was over. Her life would end, here, in this wine cellar of death. Condensation dripped on her face. The stone walls were closing in on her, and the room seemed to be getting darker by the minute. She was very cold. Elly slumped behind a giant barrel at the very end of the row. She grabbed on to the tap with desperation. If she was going to go out like this, she might as well be very drunk. She leaned over and positioned her mouth under the spout while at the same time her lips formed the words of familiar prayers.
Suddenly, she was looking at a brown pair of orthopedic shoes.
“And here, ladies and gentleman, is our wine cellar, which was made in 1847. We made the secret entrance during the Prohibition era….”
The tour guide stopped shortly upon seeing her. Elly quickly sat up and wiped the mascara from her eyes. Three old ladies stood gaping in front of a hidden door in the brick.
“Was she drinking straight from the spout?” one of them cried. “That can’t be sanitary!”
The kindly tour guide smiled down at her.
“Young lady, how did you get down here?”
Isaac’s gorgeous face peeked around an alarmed woman’s appliqué sweater.
“Um - Elly?” he asked nervously.
“Well, that was interesting,” Isaac joked later as he steered the car past endless fences of grapes. “How was the wine cellar? I bet all the barrels looking the same got to you?” He chuckled. “Poor Elly. Were you really that upset? Not that I blame you. I would have probably tapped in myself - their wine is so delicious. Of course, I might have waited to get a glass first….”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Elly snapped.
He ran his fingers through her hair. “It’s their fault for putting the bathroom in the dungeon. I was just glad to find you. Otherwise I would have had to take home the lady with the snowman sweater on.”
“Hmm…that was a nice sweater. I would have understood.”
Isaac looked at her, his brown bedroom eyes bearing into her. “Let’s go find our hotel.”
Elly felt her pulse quicken. The hotel. Were they sharing a room? Did that mean something? Isaac sped up the car.
Twenty minutes later, he pulled the car into the drive of the Blue Baron Inn. Pale brown and grey, the reformed Tudor had a large white deck that overlooked the river, which was shrouded in a humid mist. Isaac went to the front to check in, and Elly heaved their suitcases out of the car. Pulling them behind her, she jogged to keep up with him. Please say two rooms, she thought, please say two separate rooms…
The young pert receptionist was beaming at Isaac. “Just you then?”
“No,” he said, “I’m here with…umm…my neighbor. Elly.”
Elly walked forward, dragging the bags. The receptionist widened her eyes, looking from Isaac to Elly.
“Oh, sure. Okay, I see… So, your room is up the stairs to the right. The back door opens up to the deck, and you will find a bottle of wine waiting for you. Should you need…anything...” her eyes smoldered at Isaac, “Please let me know.”
Elly reached out and snatched the key out of the girl’s hand. “Please bring up our bags,” she snapped and led Isaac upstairs. They opened the door
to their room.
“Shall I carry you?” Isaac asked. Elly raised an eyebrow at him and walked inside.
The oval shaped room was painted a pale orange and accented with dark browns and red. It had a cozy lodge feeling, plus a hideous flower arrangement on the coffee table, a kitschy disaster of red carnations and baby’s breath. Elly scooped it up and deposited it into the trash can. She walked out and stopped dead. In the middle of the room was a bed. One giant sexy-time bed, surrounded by hanging billowy white fabric and covered with a rich sage duvet. This was a bed that said “Sex!” and not so much “Cuddle-time.”
Elly gulped.
Isaac strolled in and collapsed on the bed. “Man” he moaned, “That drive up here was long.”
Elly sat down at the desk. “Well, it was certainly feels long when you’re…” Elly stopped short. The blindfold! Oh my gosh – why did he have a blindfold?? Was he into that kind of thing?
Elly felt like she was going to faint. “I need some air.”
She headed for the deck. The warm air felt good on her face, and she managed to calm herself momentarily with the breeze on her skin. Isaac handed her a glass of wine and wrapped himself around her.
“I’m so glad that we’re alone for once. No neighbors. No shop. No Cadbury. Just us.”
Elly was mildly annoyed at Cadbury’s inclusion, but was jerked away from her thought by Isaac’s hand creeping up her belly. I bet that feels like a bag of flour, she thought, before turning quickly around.
“Do you want to go look at the downtown? I saw a bunch of antique shops when we drove in, and I would love to find something for Kim’s baby. Then we could eat dinner overlooking the vineyards.”
Isaac frowned. “Are you feeling up to that? You didn’t seem like things were going that well” – he gestured to her stomach – “at the winery. I was thinking we could order room service and stay in, but we can go shopping.”
He made it sound akin to torture. Anything to distract you, she thought.
“I’ll change,” chirped Elly, and headed back into the room.
“Can I come?” Isaac joked.
“Um, no.” Elly shut the door behind her. How am I going to do this? she thought. Maybe I can keep him distracted. Kiss him until he’s satisfied. Mention jazz. Hit him over the head with a pan. Ask him about indie flicks. Or…I could get him drunk. And he’ll pass out early. YES! That was it, that was the plan. Elly opened her suitcase. What in here said “Nun” or “You’re not getting action tonight?” She pulled out her khakis and black cardigan. Perfect. She also grabbed her fuchsia tank top. Layers would be key here. More buttons, more fabric. She tromped out of the bathroom. Isaac eyed her up and down.
“You look great – love that sweater.” He winked at her. “Are you ready?”
Ready to get you drunk, she thought.
CHAPTER
THIRTEEN
As it turned out, Elly was the one to get wasted. Two hours and five cups of sake later, Elly stabbed her last piece of dim sum.
“I feel like I’m in a dream with you. No seriously. I mean,” she bit off a hefty mouthful, “you are, like, SO gorgeous, and I’m kind of a chubby. I mean, I have a pretty face, but you could be a model. Seriously. A SUPER model. I can’t believe how gorgeous you are. Sometimes I watch you walk home out my window. And I have a little song that I sing, it’s called ‘I’m dating Isaac…’” Elly motioned with her sake cup. She began to sing.
Isaac cut her off. “I can just imagine” he said laughing.
She stuffed a dumpling into her mouth. “Oh my gosh, I love dim sum...” she moaned.
Isaac kissed her palm. “You’re hilarious when you are drunk. And hot.”
Elly giggled, feeling shy. “Am I really that drunk?”
“Well, you did tell the waiter that sesame beef was like heaven made of meat.”
“I did?”
“You did. Also, I think your shoe is under those people’s table.”
Elly leaned over. Yup. One brown loafer lay underneath the next table over. The patrons eyed her warily. Their little boy whispered, “Mama,” and nuzzled into his mother.
“Whatever,” Elly announced to them as she turned back to Isaac. His lips curled up in a lupine smile.
Elly lifted her cup. “TO SAKE!!” she yelled. Then she stage-whispered, “I can’t believe this little cup of liquid packs so much PUNCH! I’ve never had it before!”
Isaac motioned for the check. “I think it’s time to get you back to the inn.”
“Ooohhhh…the inn. It’s so pretty. Like you. And you have a nice voice. I like when you sing. And talk. I like watching your lips when you talk.”
“Okay drunky. Can I have your credit card?”
“Sure thing” Elly sang. She handed it over and licked the inside of her sake cup.
“You better get your shoe,” Isaac said, laughing at her and tossing back his drink. Elly stumbled over to the family’s table and grabbed her brown shoe, much to their horror. Isaac signed the check with a dramatic flourish and they headed out of the restaurant, his hand on her behind.
Twenty minutes had passed– the time it had taken them to find the car and get Elly buckled in– and the headlights of Isaac’s black Honda roared up the Hermann vineyards. He stroked her face with one hand.
“Elly. You’re incredible. You are so intelligent, running your own business and helping your friends, and you know who you are.” He paused. “I’d like to show you tonight how much I know you.”
Elly couldn’t understand anything he was saying. She was concentrating on the swirling lights flying by outside her window and wondering how God ever made the sky so big.
Back in the inn bathroom, Elly pulled on her reindeer pajama pants and white tank top. All she could think about was how much she wanted to crawl into the wide bed and fall asleep. The world was still a bit tipsyturvy, and the allure of 400-count sheets was calling her seductively. She rinsed her face off in the sink and headed out to the bedroom, which, to her surprise, had been turned into a bordello.
Oh, crap.
Isaac stood by the bed, his pale chest muscles reflecting the light of dozens of lit candles above the room. The red carnations that Elly had previously moved to the trash had been de-stemmed and were sitting on the bed in the shape of a heart. The air pulsed with an uncomfortable pretense of passion and music filled the shimmering room. A familiar band sang in the background: “The man is holding me underwater and the trees are burning. I submerge myself in her flesh…”
Seriously? Isaac wanted to make out to his own band?
A candle flickered in his right hand and he gestured for her to lie down on the bed. Elly held up her finger with an embarrassed smile and ducked back into the bathroom. She grabbed her phone out of her suitcase and dialed frantically.
A very sleepy and annoyed Kim answered the phone. “Uh…hello?”
Elly whispered quietly. “Hi, it’s me, Elly. I’m sorry I woke you. Tell Sean I said hello. Hey, how is my dog?”
“Elly?? It’s 11 pm, what do you want? Are you…are you drunk?”
“Yes. I’m great, thanks for asking. So, I had a bunch of these little drinks that turned out to make me a lot drunk. I’m still a little tipsy and I’m in the bathroom and Isaac is out there in a room that he somehow turned into the Moulin Rouge and I don’t know what to do. He keeps putting the moves on! He grabbed my butt in the restaurant...is that NORMAL? I mean, we never talked about that. Don’t people have like a ‘Hey, let’s touch the butt’ talk? Oh Kim, he is so hot…”
Kim sighed. “Elly. You told me that you weren’t ready for anything physical. Don’t do something you will regret. I know how you are when you drink. You tend to make rash decisions.”
“You are right, you are right.” Elly bit her fingernail. “He’s all OVER me. And you should see the room. Candles, carnations…”
“Did you just say carnations?”
“I know, so tacky right?” Elly hissed. “But he has his shirt off and I can’t
think; my brain is a little spiny. Oh, and hey, I got lost in a wine cellar today – isn’t that funny?”
Elly could hear Kim whispering to Sean. “Hey! Don’t whisper to him about me. WHAT DO I DO?”
“Elly. You are a strong, independent and intoxicated woman. Stand your ground and only do what you are comfortable with, which I know, at this point is not very much. You are the leader in this dance. Say it with me, ‘I am the leader in this dance.’”
Elly repeated after her. “I am the leader in this dance.”
“You got it. I’m going to bed now. Keep your clothes on, hussy.”
“Will do. I owe you Kim!”
“Yes, yes you do.” Kim hung up the phone.
Elly took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. “I am the leader in this dance,” she said to herself, and stepped outside the bathroom.
The room still looked like a scene from an NC-17 movie, only now more candles were lit. There was a path of them from the bed to the bathroom door, flicking their golden light against the walls. Elly smelled heavy cologne. Isaac prowled slowly towards her, wearing only light linen pants. Where does a person even GET those? Elly thought. Her heart hammered in her chest.
“Er, hello”, she said quickly, in the second before he reached her. Isaac grabbed her roughly and kissed her neck. Elly gasped. Suddenly, her heart was a consuming fire. Passion spread from her toes, up through her belly. It twisted around his hands, which softly stroked the small of her back. To hell with it - who cares, thought Elly, he is so delicious. She pressed her lips roughly against his.
“Take me now,” was on the tip of her tongue when he tried to pick her up without warning. Quickly, he swept his arms under her legs and lifted. Nothing happened. Elly heard a small grunt, a hefty breath and then her legs came up off the floor about two inches. The next thing she knew, they were sprawling across the hardwood floor. Elly rolled a couple of times and ended butt-up, her head inches from the base of the bed.
“Owwww!” she shrieked, grabbing her skinned knees, “you LAUNCHED me!”
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