She put her hand over her heart.
“I’ve been safe here. This is my world. And now, she is here. And HE is here. In my place.”
Keith picked a piece of glass out of her hair. “Is that why you destroyed it?”
Elly looked around. “Maybe. I’m so angry I can barely breathe.”
Keith looked at the floor. “Just tell me again when you plan to destroy your store, that way I won’t run over thinking you are being robbed.”
Elly leaned against him, tears welling up yet again. He smelled like warm bread.
“It’s nice to know there are people who care. You’re a good friend to me. Besides, it was very heroic.”
“Elly, maybe the timing is wrong….” he started to say, but was interrupted by the door to the studio flinging open.
Kim stood before them, with jeans unzipped and a fisherman’s sweater unbuttoned over a tank top.
“Elly?” she asked. She took in the devastation. She approached carefully and slowly, as though Elly was a wild animal that could attack at any moment. “Sweetie.” She knelt and wrapped her arms around Elly. “I talked to Snarky Teenager on the phone. She told me what happened.”
Elly choked back a sob. What was it about being held that re-released her emotion, full tilt? She was so relieved that Kim was there. She wanted to curl up and die. Keith stood, seeing that he wasn’t needed anymore.
“I think that I’ll take off and let you guys talk. Elly, if you need anything, please come over. I’m just on the other side of this wall.”
Elly reached out her hand past Kim’s shoulder. Keith took it gently in his. “Thank you Keith. One could not ask for a better neighbor.”
Keith looked embarrassed. “Next sandwich is on me.”
Even though Elly was crying, she managed to look excited. “Free sandwich for a broken heart? I’ll take you up on that.”
“It’s a plan,” said Keith, and walked out of the store, stopping to grab his baseball bat on the way out.
Kim lifted Elly’s face to look at her. “Oh, my sweet friend.” She wiped a tear off Elly’s face with her pinky. Then she turned bewildered and looked around the store. “Hell hath no fury…”
Elly moaned. “I can’t believe I did this to my store.”
Kim stood up carefully. “Well, I can’t bend over very far, but I’m sure that you and I can get this mostly cleaned up in an hour or so.” She tiptoed over the broken glass. “Did you have to throw the table? I mean, wasn’t it enough to throw everything else?”
Elly sighed. “I guess not.”
“I noticed that nothing hit the cooler.”
“I’m devastated, not stupid,” she countered. “That cooler was expensive!”
Kim tilted her head sympathetically. “Let’s clean up and then find you some wine.”
Elly looked at her best friend with intense gratitude. “Thank God I have you,” she said and reached for the broom, to clean up the mess she created.
Later that evening, Elly held out her wine glass. “More please, more please! Por favor!”
Kim wagged her finger at her. “No more for you. Depressed and drunk is a very bad combination. Also, if Isaac comes over, he will try a full-on attack. Linen pants, guitars AND candles.”
Elly moaned. “Isaac. What am I going to tell him about this? The last thing he needs is to hear about my ex-husband. One minute I’m the sexy florist next door…” Kim rolled her eyes at this. “And then I tell him about Aaron and then I’m the crazy woman with tons of emotional baggage and lots of feelings.”
“So you’re just going to pretend that this isn’t happening?” Kim asked incredulously.
“I’m not going to pretend. I’m just not going to share this with him. He’s not the kind of guy that I could unload this on. At least, he’s not yet. We just aren’t at that point where this would be acceptable date conversation.”
“Understandable.” Kim paused. “How are you doing?”
Elly looked up at the stars. She and Kim were sitting on her roof deck, bundled up in sweatshirts and blankets. Kim sipped her tea as Elly finished a cracker topped with feta.
“It’s a good thing your appetite hasn’t suffered in all this,” Kim commented.
“No, it didn’t the first time around either.” There was a long silence as the cool air whistled around them. Elly could make out the buildings in downtown St. Louis, their tiny windows filled with light.
“How did you not know?” Kim finally asked. The silence settled around them, heavy with meaning.
Elly pulled her blanket over her toes. “Do you know I’ve been asking myself all night? Did I know? On some sub-conscious level, did I know that this was Aaron’s wedding?” She thought for a second. “I have to say that I really didn’t. I very rarely know the name of the groom. I never asked. I knew that Sunny’s daughter was named Lucia. But I never knew the name of the woman who slept with Aaron, so how would I have made the connection?” Elly looked into the dusky sky above her. “Kim, I’ve never been quite honest about how I left Georgia. I’ve let people think that it was a quick resolve.”
She moved Cadbury’s heavy paw from her leg. He sighed deeply, drool pooling on Kim’s lap. “The truth is, there was no resolve. I never knew her name because I left before I could learn it. Aaron and I have not spoken since that day I found them together,” Elly choked back a sob, “in MY bed. I left him the house – I wanted no part of it. I mailed the divorce papers from a Post Office Box. I never looked back.” Kim leaned over and rubbed her shoulders as she shook. “He took EVERYTHING from me. And I let him. I let him take my friends, my house, my…dreams.” She paused. “We were trying for a baby. He said he wanted to have a baby with ME while he was sleeping with her. Who does that? I never knew I was weak. I thought that I was a strong person, until he took my life away from me. And I made it easy for him to walk out the door with it. I let him take it all, because I loved him too much to stop him. And I would have given even more.” Elly gasped for air.
Kim pulled her against her side. “Slow down, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m listening.”
Elly wiped her eyes, embarrassed. “Kim, I’ve been waiting for this. Aaron was always there, inside of my dark places, waiting. Every day and every minute. He’s every unfulfilled thought, lurking in the back of my mind. All this time, I figured he would find me. It wouldn’t have been hard. I thought I would open the door one day, Aaron would be there and he would beg me to come back. Then I could slam the door in his face.”
Kim looked skeptical. “Would you do that?”
Elly shook her head. “No. I would probably have gone back with him,” she said, pointing at herself. “Weak, remember? Well, at least I would have, until Isaac came along.” Elly smiled. “He was the one who came knocking on my door. I stopped waiting for Aaron the first time I kissed Isaac. It figures that once I’m finally getting back to good, Aaron finds me.” Her hands flopped up in exasperation. “Okay, seriously?! I got hired to do their wedding?!”
She sank back against the couch exhausted. “This would only happen to me.”
Kim rubbed her eyes. “That much is true. You are a magnet for weird situations. What are you going to do? You’re going to decline the wedding, right?”
Elly closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the pillow. “Probably. It makes the most sense. I can’t think about that yet. I’m going to need a good 24 hours to just understand how this came to be.”
Kim leaned forward. “You cannot do this wedding Elly. You can’t. You don’t even allow yourself to think his NAME. How are you going to react to seeing him get married?”
“I know it. I just feel so bad for Sunny.”
“Do you think Sunny knows?”
“No. She can’t. Would you tell your mother that you met your fiancé by having an affair with your married art tutor? No, I’m sure Sunny thinks they met at a museum or something.” Elly kept her eyes closed. “I’m exhausted. I think I need to go to bed. I can’t believe I have a WEDDING
tomorrow. At least it’s at the Pavilion. It should be pretty simple.”
Kim nudged Cadbury off her lap, to which he gave an annoyed moan. “Yes, yes, I know, you were comfortable. Don’t you also have to go see Isaac’s band play?”
Elly let out a huge groan, followed by an involuntary wine burp. “Oh, no! His stupid band! Everest Oppressed? Seriously, what does that even mean?” Elly attempted to stand and fell back into the couch.
“Er, let me help you inside, Elly.”
Elly looked at Kim, pushing herself up laboriously from the couch. “Kim – what would I do without you?”
“Die, probably,” retorted Kim. She waddled over and kissed Elly on the forehead. “Let’s go to bed. You’ve had a horrible day. Is it okay if I stay the night in the guest room?”
Elly sighed, but was secretly comforted that there would be someone with her in the apartment tonight. Together they descended the stairs into Elly’s apartment and turned out her lights.
In her bedroom, Elly pulled off her pants and slipped into bed, Cadbury flopping against her side in the darkness. There were a couple of minutes of silence as Elly prayed, alternately angry and pleading, all for mercy, for grace. Out of the silence, mingling with her own clipped whispers, she heard soft murmurs through the wall, drowsy and loving, as Kim talked to Sean on her phone. That is what Aaron took from me, she thought. Someone to whisper with. Her covers lay cool on her body, but Elly suddenly felt like she was suffocating. She threw the duvet off her, turning over on her stomach and facing the wall. She let a single tear run down her face.
“I thought I was done crying for you.” she breathed, the last thought before she slipped into empty drifting.
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
Elly’s alarm went off at 9, and then again at 10. She hit the snooze button, burying herself deeper in the covers with each passing hour. Finally, at 11 am, she awoke with a start to a loud banging on the door. She moaned and threw herself out of bed. Her head was pounding, her eyes dry and tired. Cautiously, she looked out the peephole. Snarky Teenager stood in front of the door, hand on her slim hip. Elly pulled open the door.
“Good morning” she muttered.
Snarky Teenager looked down at her. “Why aren’t you wearing pants?”
Elly blinked to attention and stepped behind the door. “What do you want?” she groaned.
Snarky Teenager blinked dumb-founded. “We have a wedding today – remember? The mother of the bride called and wants the delivery moved up two hours so that the bride can have her flowers for the pictures. We probably need to start packing up in about a half-hour. Anthony and I have been designing all morning.” She paused to catch her breath. “We know you had a rough night, but we need your direction on loading the van.”
Elly nodded, thankful for the sleep she had been allowed. “I’ll be down in ten minutes.”
Snarky Teenager grinned and turned to head down to the shop. “Nice granny panties!” she called as she rounded the stairs. Elly shut the door behind her. Kim’s purse was gone from the table beside the door. She must have left early this morning to let Elly sleep.
Elly yawned and headed for the shower. She turned on the faucet and undressed. She climbed inside, savoring the jolt she felt from the pressured water pounding down on her. She stood in the shower for ten minutes, letting it cascade over her tired shoulders and neck. Eyes closed and hands on her fleshy belly, she her thoughts ran wild. Can this even be real? Aaron is coming here? What will he think when he sees me? Will he want me back? Elly imagined Aaron’s face at the end of a wedding aisle. She knew what it looked like. Maybe she’s pregnant? Maybe she trapped him? Elly shook her head, as if to shake loose the rampant thoughts. Stupid – you shouldn’t even care. The real question is, how can I hide this from Isaac? She turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a giant towel.
Rubbing a small circle in the steamy mirror, Elly looked at herself. Her blond hair was streaked back from her forehead and a tiny drop of water ran from her forehead down the tip of her nose. Bloodshot and weary, Elly’s eyes had never looked worse. She was ragged all over, as if she had been fighting an emotional war. Ignoring the wreck in the mirror, Elly brushed her hair up into a quick and messy bun, quickly applied some mascara and lip-gloss and ran into the bedroom to change into her delivery clothes: Khaki’s and a white polo. She pulled on sneakers, and not being able to find matching socks, decided on going without. She glanced back at Cadbury, still passed out under the covers and headed downstairs to the studio.
Thankfully, there were few remnants of her tantrum the night before. The consultation table had been righted, minus the glass and thank you notes. A broom leaned against the far wall, the only evidence of a hasty clean-up. On the long design table, Anthony and Snarky Teenager had already started pulling the flowers for the delivery, their first of the fall. Rows and rows of fat glass cylinders lined with thick leaves and wrapped with twine covered the area. Circus roses, their yellow petals morphing orange into a pinky red at the tips, poured out of the containers, with rustic pinecones and bright red winter berries peeking out between the roses. The bridesmaids’ bouquets, all circus roses with deep cranberry wraps, stood in stark contrast to the bride’s all white mini-calla bouquet that was accented only by a gold brooch tied at the base of flowers.
“This looks great” Elly breathed in relief. Anthony grinned proudly.
Snarky Teenager sidled up beside her. “So what happened last night? I just found an orchid from the table on the top of the shelves.”
“We’re not going to talk about that.” replied Elly. “Let’s just get packed up and get this thing done with. A wedding is the last thing I want to face today, but I have no choice. Anthony – would you mind getting the cart out for all these centerpieces?” She gestured towards Snarky Teenager, “Why don’t you start counting the personal flowers out and I’ll make sure that we have all the tools we need. You know we’re decking the entire pavilion, correct?”
Snarky Teenager nodded. “I heard. Thank goodness that the parking lot is so close, otherwise that would be a nightmare.”
It was an hour later when Elly solemnly declared, “This is a nightmare.” They were standing at the bottom of a large grassy hill peppered with fertilizer. The road that normally wound up the hill to the World’s Fair Pavilion had been dug up and was roped off by a detour sign, tractors and road work debris. A small hand-written sign declared “For the Bradshaw/Sander wedding, please head up stairs on East side of Park.” The Pavilion was a large stone rotunda with columns filtering the light in on either side, covered by a burgundy roof and had the best views of Forest Park in the city. It was also very, very high up.
“You have got to be freaking kidding me,” breathed Snarky Teenager. Elly looked around for an alternate entrance. There was none. At the bottom of the hill, a large staircase carved up towards the building, separated upon encountering a large slate man-made waterfall and the returned again to make a steep climb into the Pavilion. These were the stairs they would have to climb, carrying a van load of flowers. Elly and Snarky Teenager stared dumbfounded up the hill.
“I can’t do this today” snapped Elly, sitting down defeated on the curb. “I can’t do this.” She had a moment of drowning in self-pity before a centerpiece was handed down to her. She looked up into Anthony’s smiling face.
“Well, are we going to do this or not? I didn’t design all these gorgeous flowers to sit in the shop. Also, I’m guessing you don’t feel like being sued.”
Elly summoned her weary strength, standing up from the curb. “Let the record show,” she declared, “that you are the most annoyingly cheery person I have ever met.”
Heaving three centerpieces up to her chest, Elly started walking up the long staircase, the first of four trips she would make with her workers. Step by step, sweat bead by sweat bead that dripped from the back of her neck, Elly worked out the dormant anger that had laid restless in her heart since she opened her eyes that morning. She
was here to do her job, and not even Aaron’s arrival back into her life would prevent that from happening. Ranting to herself with every step, Elly kept her eyes glued to the top, never looking back. Her heart hammered, her face was flushed, and she felt that her calves were ready to separate from the rest of her body. Wheezing pathetically, she finally reached the top. The three of them stood at the top of the hill, sweaty (except for Snarky Teenager, who was simply bathed in a sensual glow - Elly hated her) and accomplished. They turned around and gazed at the empty Pavilion.
“Now, let the real work begin,” sighed Elly, wiping her face with an apron.
In each archway surrounding the reception area, Anthony hung a dark orange satin ribbon and looped it through a single pomander, tying a beautiful bow at the top. The round balls of red berries, yellow skyline roses and burnt orange chrysanthemums circled in the wind, their ribbon tails swirling gaily underneath them. A makeshift aisle was taking form as young men in black shirts threw down white chairs. Elly tied bundles of orange cockscomb to the end of each chair lining the walkway. Anthony and Snarky Teenager gently carried large glass urns to the front, each exploding with yellow aecidium orchids and cattails. Elly spread orange and red rose petals down the aisle, creating a thick carpet to the front.
They took a ten minute break - enough time for Elly to breathe and get her face down to a relatively normal shade of red. She sat beside Anthony who was lounging under a crab apple tree overlooking St. Louis’s greatest asset, Forest Park. Its expanse was vast. Trees, trails, and flower gardens wove together making a tapestry of city and nature. From their position on the hill, Elly could make out the Art Museum and the Zoo, along with the Science Center, nuzzled cozily against the highway.
“I love this city,” sighed Anthony happily, a mirror of Elly’s thoughts. “I never knew it was so beautiful. I’ve lived many places – New York, San Francisco, Austin…but I’ve never found a home until I settled here. I knew it the first time I walked through Clayton. And then I stumbled across your shop and saw the Now Hiring sign. I had always dreamed of working with flowers. It was meant to be.”
Elly In Bloom Page 17