by M. Malone
What was it about this girl?
“How is she?” Oskar’s voice floated over from the doorway.
I turned slightly so I could keep an eye on her while responding. “Better. Whatever Breckner gave her seems to have helped with the pain. She’s sleeping easier now.”
“Good. That’s… good. You know I can stay with her if you want to get something to eat. Or whatever.”
He entered the room then, approaching the bed hesitantly. I had to quell the urge to tell him to get the fuck out.
Do you hear yourself? Calm the fuck down before she wakes up. Also, remember that thing about you being a psychopath? Stop it.
If the tight feeling around my lips was any indication, I was baring my teeth like an animal. The idea of scaring her doused the panic inside a bit and I took a deep breath. Then Oskar moved a little closer and I jumped to my feet.
“Back off, mate.”
I didn’t like anyone else getting too close to her, especially while she was unconscious and vulnerable. It was a ridiculously over-the-top reaction. I knew it. But I couldn’t help myself. Someone had done this to her, and for some reason I felt like I was the one who had to protect her. I didn't want anyone else alone in the room with her. She felt like my responsibility. Something inside drove me to stay near her, watch over her. Almost like she was… mine.
As if the other man could hear my thoughts, Oskar crossed his arms. “Rafe said you were acting weird around her. What’s up with that?”
I growled. “Nothing. I just want to make sure she’s okay. Rafe needs to worry about his own woman.”
Oskar chuckled. “I’m pretty sure he’s taking good care of Diana. But if you want to tell him that, I won’t stop you. That fight would be better than pay-per-view.”
I grimaced at the thought. The last time I’d gone toe-to-toe with Rafe I’d ended up confined to a hospital bed for a week. Oskar had escaped with only a dislocated shoulder, but Jonas had almost gone blind. It would be different now because I knew his weaknesses. I was also willing to kill him. He was not willing to kill me.
“Whatever,” I muttered before shifting to put my body between Oskar and the woman asleep on the bed.
The woman who made me feel like I could take on a whole team of Rafes to protect her. The woman I was pretty sure had just given me a fake name.
“Do we know who she is? Did she give Rafe a name?”
Oskar shook his head. “No. We have no idea who she is. We searched her bag and coat and there was no identification. Her phone is one of those cheap burner phones. She’s definitely running from something. Or somebody.”
I tensed and stepped back hoping a little distance would keep me from reaching for her. What the hell was going on with me? It felt like my skin was electrified at just the thought of someone hurting her. For someone who made it a rule not to get too close to anyone, it was an uncomfortable feeling, like my body had grown one size too big for my skin.
Oskar eyed me. “What the hell is wrong with you? Dude, you’re freaking out a bit.”
I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I don’t know why I’m reacting this way.”
Oskar smirked. “I can explain it to you. See when little boys like little girls, their pee pee gets hard.”
I punched him in the chest and then swung for the face but Oskar managed to block that one.
“Shit! I forget how fast you are. Little fucker.” Oskar winced as he rubbed his sternum. “That actually hurt. You pack a punch for such a little guy.”
I snorted. I was several inches over six feet. Only Oskar would refer to me as a ’little guy.’
“Anyway, I’m not here just to bust your balls,” Oskar said. “Noah needs to see you.”
I glanced behind him again. All the commotion we’d made hadn’t woken the girl on the bed, thankfully. I turned back to Oskar and eyed the big German skeptically.
“Isn’t there anyone else who can sit with her? Where’s Lucia?” Noah’s wife was sweet and would be a nice, calming presence in case the girl woke before I came back.
It briefly occurred to me that I should feel weird asking for Lucia to come here. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that I’d been nursing an unrequited crush on the petite brunette. But I’d known all along that she wasn’t for me. Even before I’d acknowledged it, I’d known she was meant for Noah. That fact had been obvious to everyone except her.
“She’s in the living room. I’ll ask her to come. JJ is here, too.” Oskar smirked.
I hesitated. Lucia’s best friend, Jessica Jones, was super loud and brazen as hell. I had no issues with Lucia watching over the sleeping girl, but if she woke up to JJ’s brand of crazy, she’d probably run away and never come back.
“I’m not sure if that’s better or worse.”
Oskar raised an eyebrow. “Well, I can stay if you’d rather—”
I brushed past him. “Never mind. It probably doesn’t matter anyway.”
Then I paused when I heard Oskar say, “Looks like someone is awake.”
I turned and paused when the woman on the bed opened her eyes and looked right at me.
It definitely matters, I thought.
Gemma
I’d fallen asleep again.
I took in a deep breath, trying to clear my head. Clearly my plan hadn’t been too well thought out since I’d been inside the belly of the beast for hours now and spent the majority of that time asleep.
Not exactly the ideal way to get the jump on the target, eh?
I quelled the first stirrings of panic at the thought of how much time had been wasted. That wouldn’t help me now. I just had to move forward with the plan.
Peeling one eye open, I watched the dark haired man, happy that he was facing away from me. His words were aggressive, but yet I still got the sense that the blond man he was arguing with was a friend.
That didn’t stop him from throwing a punch though.
I tensed on the bed, hoping they wouldn’t notice that I’d woken up again. They were talking and that’s exactly what I wanted them to do. Maybe they’d give up some information that would be helpful if they didn’t know I was awake. Trying not to move too much, I strained to listen to their conversation.
Then I heard, ’Looks like someone is awake,’ and I knew the ruse was up. I opened my eyes to two pairs of equally intense eyes, one dark and one ice blue.
Holy hotness, Batman. I was surrounded by testosterone. What was up with this place? The guy I’d first met when I got off the elevator had been insanely hot, too. What kind of security company was this? Or maybe it was a front for a male escort agency. I snorted softly at the thought.
“Hi,” I muttered finally, still a little annoyed that the blond guy had seen through my pretense.
The dark haired one slowly sat on the edge of the bed I was lying on. His eyes didn’t leave my face as he moved, and I found myself unable to look away. Dimly, I heard the door close and knew the blond man had left us alone, but I still couldn’t break eye contact.
With Matthias.
His name swam through my mind and I thought back to everything I’d learned before the Family sent me on this mission. The name wasn’t familiar and I wondered again exactly what he could have done to have earned the wrath of an international criminal organization.
“I fell asleep again,” I finally said, pulling my eyes away from his.
“You needed the rest. I didn’t mind watching over you.” Matthias didn’t smile as he said it, but a warm flush raced through me at the words. I imagined him sitting next to me, watching me sleep in that intense way of his, protecting me. On someone else it probably would have come across a bit stalkerish, but somehow on him, it fit. He seemed intense and protective. And deadly… don’t forget deadly.
What must it be like to be the sole focus of his attention? To have a man so into you, that he was fascinated even with watching you sleep. Especially a man like this. I peeked over at him again. It was impossible to pretend I was unaffected
by that face. He was so handsome.
I could feel the slight blush on my cheeks and pushed my hair back from my face, hoping to disguise my reaction to him.
This wouldn’t do. If I was going to have any chance of taking this guy on, it would have to be away from his home turf. Here, he was in his element and had plenty of backup. I needed to take him off guard.
“I should be going.” I sat up all the way, pushing the light blanket off my legs. I imagined him covering me with it, tucking the edges around my body to keep me warm.
Oh yeah, I needed to go. The man had me completely off my game, daydreaming about him tucking me into bed!
“Wait. I don’t think that’s a good idea. You came to us for help, so let us help you.” Matthias looked at the bruising on my arms and raised his hand but paused before touching me.
Could he feel it, too? This heat between us? I watched his hand greedily, wanting him to touch me but fearing I’d just melt into a puddle of goo if he did.
“I can’t. I shouldn’t have come here.”
Matthias moved back as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. I sneaked a look up at him, inordinately pleased to see his eyes hurriedly flick away from my legs. So he was feeling it, too. It was a good thing, because I could use his attraction to further my mission.
But he could use your attraction against you, too. My rational mind was screaming for me to proceed slowly and with caution. Despite how innocuous he seemed, this man, Matthias, was an enemy of a powerful organization which meant he obviously wasn’t what he seemed. If I wasn’t careful, he’d get the upper hand and I’d be no better off than when I’d started.
“I can’t let you leave.” Matthias knelt next to me and took my hands.
I startled at the contact, and my eyes flew to his. I sucked in a breath at what I saw there. Desire, yes, but something bigger. Something I couldn’t define.
“I really should go home.”
“And I’ll take you. Later,” he added quickly. “Just let our physician check you out again to make sure that you’re really okay. Once I’m sure of that, I’ll take you home myself. Deal?”
It sounded reasonable but the look in his eyes clearly spelled out that he was up to something. I figured he’d grill me about who had hurt me. But to my surprise, he stood and extended his hand without saying a word.
It was shock that made me take it.
Yeah, tell yourself that.
I shook my head as I stood, struck at once with just how big he was; built lean like a runner but tall, easily six inches taller than I was. My head would fit right on his shoulder if we were cuddled up.
Stop it. Think. You need a plan.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“To the kitchen. You need to eat before the doctor looks at you again.”
I pulled my hand from his, annoyed at how easily he’d outmaneuvered me. I was supposed to be getting him out of here and onto neutral ground, but somehow he’d pushed me into eating dinner and getting seen by their doctor again. It was unnerving how he seemed to exert his will without much effort. I bet he was used to doing that with women. With a face and a body like his, he probably had girls falling in line to do whatever he wanted.
Not that I was jealous.
“I don’t know about this.”
He stopped and put a finger under my chin so I was forced to meet his eyes.
“You’re safe with me, Gemma.”
The sound of my government identity pulled me back into the present. ORUS was counting on me not to screw this mission up. The Family wouldn’t be pleased if I didn’t have something to report soon and Sabine’s life depended on it. I had to get it together.
“I feel safe with you,” I said.
His eyes flashed at my words, and I gulped. He looked entirely too pleased right now. And there was a traitorous part of me that really liked the idea of pleasing him.
“What if the doctor says I’m not okay?” I pushed, wanting to clarify exactly what I was agreeing to.
Matthias squeezed my hand gently. “Then I’m sure we can find room for you to stay here overnight. Where you’ll be safe.”
Not ideal. I needed him away from here. But, thinking quickly, I smiled. It might be easier to catch him off guard if I was staying here. And all the other people around had to leave sometime, right?
“Okay,” I whispered. “It would be nice to feel safe for once.”
He looked pleased at my capitulation and I almost felt bad for deceiving him. But then I remembered that he wasn’t what he appeared either.
So it looked like we had something in common after all.
8
Matthias
I rolled over again and punched my pillow. Sleep had never been an easy thing for me, but tonight it was proving particularly elusive. Calming my mind enough to allow myself to be vulnerable just wasn’t going to happen when I had someone I needed to protect one door away.
I imagined Gemma in the room I’d given her, curled up in the queen-size bed. Was she warm enough? She’d only eaten a little. What if she woke up hungry in the middle of the night?
What if she woke up scared?
I grunted. Like I was the right one to reassure her or calm her fears. I ran a hand over my face. If that girl knew half the shit I’d done, I doubted she’d feel safe enough to close her eyes around me. If something or someone was a threat, I removed the threat. Simple. It wasn’t just the way I’d been trained, it was, in my mind, the only logical step to be taken.
No wonder ORUS considered you one of their best assets. A born and bred killing machine.
Most of the time, I didn’t dwell on the things I’d done. My mind wasn’t wired that way. But there were times when I was forced to face my past, and then the world felt like it was going to collapse in on me. So better if I didn’t examine the person I used to be… or just how easy it was to be that person.
Not for the first time, I wished I could be different, be the kind of man who’d know how to take care of a girl like that. The kind who knew the soft words and gentle phrases that would calm her and make her feel safe.
Unable to pretend that I was going to get any sleep any longer, I stood and stretched before padding barefoot over to my desk. With a few swipes and clicks, I woke my laptop and had the security feeds visible on the multitude of screens on the wall in front of me. My eyes danced over each image, scrutinizing the dark and silent rooms, hallways and stairwells that comprised Blake Security.
Ever since the breach, I’d shored up all the security and changed everyone’s passwords but I was still on high alert. As my eyes kept coming back to the dark hallways, I realized one of the guys was awake and walking down the hallway near his room.
Near Gemma.
I tensed and moved closer to the screen. Could I really trust the other guys in the house? It was a hard lesson I’d learned in my youth. No one was truly your friend. They were only pretending until it was no longer advantageous for them. The only one I’d ever trusted was the only one I’d been unable to protect.
I blocked out the thoughts of Gigi. My failure to protect my only friend wasn’t something I liked to think about.
The dark shape on the screen kept walking and passed Gemma’s door before appearing on the screen in the kitchen. Once the lights were on, I could see Rafe digging in the refrigerator. Probably looking for a late night snack for Diana. She was expecting and had some seriously weird food cravings.
I smiled at the thought.
Things were different now. Noah, Jonas, Oskar and the other guys weren’t like the people I’d grown up with in the Family. They weren’t just paying lip service to their loyalty; these men had fought and bled beside me. None of them would take a woman I considered mine.
But she’s not yours, is she?
The sly voice tormented me with the truth. Gemma wasn’t my girlfriend; she wasn’t my anything. Just a scared girl who needed protection. And that’s what I’d give her.
A soft sound had me on m
y feet. I gaped as Gemma entered the room and then closed the door behind her. I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t noticed her leaving her room on the security feed.
“Hi,” she finally said.
For a very long moment, we stared at each other. Her expression was hard to make out in the dim room but there was a lot I could get just from body language. She shifted from foot to foot and her fingers twisted in her long hair, the dark strands shiny and thick as they cascaded over her shoulder.
“What are you doing in here?” My voice sounded rusty even to my own ears and not all that friendly.
Jesus, I was already fucking this up. I cleared my throat and sat in my desk chair. After what she’d been through, she didn’t need someone looming over her. I didn’t even question it, my instinctive desire to make her feel safe and protected.
It was pretty much a given at this point that I’d give her whatever she needed. It should have terrified me, how one girl could command me so completely, and maybe under different circumstances it would. But in the thick of the emotion, I just knew it was what I was supposed to do.
“I can’t sleep. It’s so quiet here.” She looked around my room and then back at her feet, like she was embarrassed to have been caught looking.
I wanted to tell her that she could look at whatever she wanted, that I’d slice open my chest and give her a view of my beating heart if it would take that haunted look from her face. But that might scare her even more than me standing over her, I thought with a grimace.
Was this what Noah, Jonas and Rafe had gone through? I smiled slightly. I’d been confused but simultaneously envious watching the men I’d looked up to, and come to think of as brothers, fall in love. It wasn’t something I’d thought I was even capable of.
“It’s the height,” I commented, wanting her to look up at me again. I was desperate for her eyes on me. “We’re so high above the ground that all the city sounds just fall away. It takes a while to get used to it.”