“The girl's fucking crazy bro. When you walked in on us on Friday she turned all weird. We had this fight and she stormed off. She hasn't called all weekend or today. Do you think, like, I should call her?”
He was silent for a moment, the cogs turning in his head.
“Well it depends. Do you still wanna be dating her?”
“Well, yeah. She's my lucky charm, you know that. If I lose her, my form might turn to shit, you know.”
Both this eyebrows arched up. “So that's why you want to be with her? Because you think she gives you luck when you box. Mate, seriously, that's not good enough.”
“Why not? Anyway, it's more than that. I like the girl. She's cool, she's funny, she's fucking beautiful. I mean, I don't wanna lose her, no.”
“Well call her then dumbass. It's not rocket science.”
“To be fair though, I don't see why I should call her. She's the one who went all psycho on me. I did nothing wrong. Why should I call her?!”
I'd never chased after a girl before in my life. Why the fuck should I chase her when she was the one who'd caused the problem?
“Well just be the bigger man and grow the fuck up. Seriously, what actually happened?”
“First of all, fuck you. Bigger man! I'm bigger than you dickhead. Second, I told you what happened. You walked in – thanks for that by the way – and she just closed down. I guess maybe she got embarrassed or something.”
“Yeah, and then what?”
“I dunno, she started talking about the girls in the audience and how they all wanna fuck me, or some shit like that. I joked that maybe those girls would like to be in her position and she flipped out.”
Zack sat back in his chair and laughed. “You fucking moron, how do you think she's gonna take that. You always did have a sensitive side Cade.”
“Hey fuck you Zack, you're meant to be helping me out here. You know I haven't had serious girlfriends like you. This is all a bit new to me.”
His laugh died down and his voice went serious again, deflating suddenly. “So this is...serious?”
“Well, if not it's as close as I've ever got. Yeah, OK, I don't have a fucking pussy sensitive girly side like you, but that doesn't mean I don't like the girl. I'm just not that good at showing it.”
“Mate, look, it's really quite simple. Talk. Talk to her and tell her what's going on. That's all girls want really – for you to talk to them and tell them the truth.”
My cell suddenly began buzzing in my pocket as he spoke and I reached in to pull it out.
“Oh shit, speak of the devil!”
It was Gem.
“Fuck, what shall I do?” I asked quickly, “I can't answer here.”
“Well go outside then.” He sounded kinda annoyed.
“All right, I'll be back in a minute.”
I stood quickly and rushed towards the exit as the phone buzzed in my hand for the third time. The last thing I wanted to do was answer in a strip club. That would kind of back up the things I'd been saying the other night. Foot firmly in mouth.
I rushed through the door and up the stairs towards the door, picking up the phone and trying to calm my breath as I answered.
“Gemma, how are you?” I said as formally as possible, making sure I didn't sound out of breath from my short burst to the door.
“I'm good Cade, yeah, I'm OK. Are you at the gym or something?”
“Err, no, why?”
“You sound like you're panting and I can hear music in the background.”
Fuck it.
“Um, yeah, I'm just having a drink with Zack.”
“Zack?”
“Yeah, Zack.” Was that so hard to believe?
“OK, well I just wanted to call about Friday. I'm sorry about all that, I shouldn't have reacted like I did.”
Fuck yeah, I win! “Yeah, I'm sorry too. I was a total dick, I guess it was the adrenaline of the fight and all that.”
Be the bigger man. Good advice Zack.
“So, we should get together and talk I suppose? Dinner tomorrow?”
I felt a huge sense of relief surging through my body. Maybe she meant more to me than I realized.
“That'd be great babe. I'll come pick you up from your apartment at 8ish. Does that work?”
“That's great, yeah. I'll see you then.”
“OK baby, sweet dreams.”
I hung up the phone and went back down into the club to see Zack up at the bar ordering a drink.
“So it went well then?” he said, noticing the beaming smile on my face.
“Well you could sound at least a little happy for me bro! What, jealous that it's me with the proper girlfriend for once!” I joked, gesturing to the waitress to fetch me another whiskey.
One more won't hurt.
He didn't seem overly pleased by the comment. Well screw him, he always seemed to be in a bad mood these days.
“Right mate, time to celebrate.”
I raised my hand to usher over the hottest stripper I could see. “You got time for a private showing honey,” I said as she approached. Fuck she was hot.
“For Cade Logan, absolutely.”
My smile widened further. It was great to be me right now.
“You can do my brother next,” I said, winking over at Zack.
He was shaking his head, this disapproving look in his eye.
“What about Gem?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “What, this is nothing. Just a dance, right?” I said, turning my attention back to the stripper.
“For now,” she said, licking her lips.
“See bro,” I said, turning again to Zack, “look, but don't touch!”
Chapter 7 - Gemma
Present Day
Gemma
I watched on nervously as Martha Banks' eyes casually rolled over the page, an impassive look on her face. She was frowning lightly, shaking her head in places as she read.
“This isn't really what we're looking for Gemma,” she said after several awkward minutes of silence.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, quite frankly, this is boring. OK, so we get to know a bit more about Branton's new favorite son, but there's no edge to it, no spice. I want some drama, something that's going to get people talking. This isn't it.”
I knew it, I just knew that's what she'd say.
She leaned back in her seat behind her pristine white desk and placed the paper to one side.
“Gemma, are you serious about becoming a journalist?”
“Of course,” I said quickly, “it's what I've always wanted. I want it more than anything.”
“Well then, you need to be a little more cutthroat, more ruthless. Our readers want to know about people, warts and all. That Logan family must be teeming with juicy stories. I want you to find one for me, find something involving Cade, link it to his boxing somehow. It's what the job's all about.”
“But...”
“I know what you're going to say. He's your boyfriend, right? You're struggling with the moral dilemma of betraying him aren't you. Well, that's totally understandable, it really is. So, let's compromise shall we?”
“Compromise? How?”
She took a long breath.
“No one has to know of your involvement, Gemma. You find the sort of story I'm looking for, and we'll publish it under someone else's name.”
“So what, I do all the work and someone else gets the credit?”
“Yes,” she said bluntly. “Remember, you're doing this to secure a promotion, not to put your name to a great story. Once you're in your new role you'll have plenty of opportunity to build a name for yourself, but this one we'll keep on the down-low, OK?”
Jesus, the world of journalism was clearly more callous than I thought. I guess I could handle digging into things in general, but with Cade? I wasn't so sure.
….
I had tried to bring it up over dinner earlier in the week, when we'd sat down to smooth things over. We talked abo
ut the extra attention he was getting, how he was getting more famous in town by the day. Even nationally, his profile was growing, with boxing agents and promoters beginning to take notice of his successes.
He told me, as he had often, how my presence had helped him get to where he was and how he really cared about me. He'd literally never spoken to me about his feelings before, so I was pretty taken aback.
I told him that people would want to know more about him now, that they'd want to hear his story. He said he wasn't interested, that his brother Crash had warned him of the attention that might come his way and how he should shun it completely.
“But what about just a story about your boxing career so far and how you got into the sport,” I asked during dinner. “That's not too personal is it?”
He shook his head. “I don't really care if people know about me or not. I just want to box and get my shot, that's all.”
“But I know that our magazine would love to do a short piece on you. You know our readership is pretty much all women? Well, they'd love to know about their new pin-up.”
He stayed closed off to the idea, and strangely uncomfortable at the mention of him being a pin-up and a growing sex symbol in town and even beyond. It was probably a sore spot after our fight the other night and he wouldn't want to stoke the fire, especially after how I'd reacted. But then, there was a whole other reason for that...
“So, would you write the piece?” he asked after a few moments of quiet thought.
“Of course,” I said quickly.
“And do you think it would help your career?”
“Yes, definitely.” More than you know.
“Gemma, you've helped me and I'd like to help you. If it's going to be good for your career then I guess, maybe, I could do an interview or something, talk a bit about my boxing career so far.”
My face began to light up.
“But nothing too personal, nothing about my family, OK?” he continued, being sure to temper my enthusiasm.
I nodded. “OK, yeah that's fine. Would you really do that for me Cade? Give me an exclusive?”
He thought for a moment. “I doubt that Crash will be too pleased but, sure, I'll do it for you.”
“Babe, you have no idea what that means to me!” I exclaimed loudly. “That's great news!”
But it wasn't great news, not in the end. Not if Martha Banks didn't see it as such.
….
The paper in front of Mrs Banks listed that proposal – the option of an exclusive interview with Cade Logan about his boxing career. It was the proposal that she'd just dismissed, the only real option I had.
So, I was back to square one.
“Gemma, you need to think very carefully about this and realize that you've got a great opportunity here. Please don't think me so callous as to not see the moral dilemma you're in. I know this is hard, especially if you care for the boy.”
She took a break to take a drag of her electronic cigarette before continuing.
“However, you must also see that I am giving you every chance to distance yourself from this entire thing. Cade and his family will never need to know you were involved.”
Bullshit. Total bullshit. Who else would have supplied the information except me?
“With all due respect Mrs Banks, I think they'll probably see though it and know that it was me.”
She smiled wide. “That really depends on the spin you put on things and the story you end up with. You'll soon realize that there are always ways of distancing yourself from something, if you wish to.”
“Look Gemma,” she continued, “I'm giving you a lot of slack here, and you're getting preferential treatment for this promotion. My generosity has its limits. Don't let me down, or you may just find that not getting this promotion is the least of your concerns.”
Generosity! Yeah, right. I knew she just wanted to sell more magazines. It was all she ever wanted. She was using me more than I was using her, and she was the one holding all the cards.
“I understand, Mrs Banks, and thank you for this opportunity.” I left a hint of sarcasm in my voice for effect. “I'll see what I can do.”
Chapter 8 - Zack
3 Months Ago
Zack
I sat in prime position at the main table in the center of the hall, several others dotted around me. To my right sat Cade, and next to him, Gemma. I'd seen her a couple of times with Cade over the last few months, but never alone, and always briefly.
Despite it being my birthday, I felt awkward and uncomfortable. A feeling that used to plague me in my youth was once again bubbling up inside, that biting cold of living in Cade's shadow. His boxing career had recently been going from strength to strength, and the sight of Gemma on his arm was strangely upsetting for me to witness.
I hadn't spoken to him about her at all since he'd stumbled upon us as at dad's funeral, all except the odd comment from him about their burgeoning sex life. The thought gnawed at me like a rat.
He didn't know that I'd known her when I was younger, that we'd been close friends. I doubt she'd mentioned it either, given that he hadn't said anything. I had begun to wonder, as the days and weeks went by, why that was the case.
Now I sat there, my brothers all around me at the central table at our formal birthday dinner, and once more I felt the spotlight inexorably gravitating towards Cade. About a week ago he'd had yet another successful fight, and it was one of the hot topics of the night, everyone wanting to hear more about it.
They were also interested to hear about the girl sitting to his right and whether they were an item or not. He was coy about it, not wanting it to become public knowledge, and made that clear to anyone who asked.
During dinner I shared several glances with Gem, finding it hard not to look at her too often. We spoke the odd comment to each other, but mainly as part of a group conversation. It was weird pretending that I didn't know her when we'd spent so much time together before. I feared that after a few drinks something would slip out that would give the game away.
I don't know why it had grown into this secret anyway. Why hadn't she just told Cade the truth when they first starting dating? It would have made things so much easier, and we wouldn't have to put on this stupid front. It was eating away at me. I wanted to chat with her like we used to, reminisce about old times. But no, I was stuck with this fucking weight on my back, probably looking like the moodiest fuck ever. It was ridiculous.
As soon as dinner ended, people began gravitating towards different tables and over to the bar set up along the side of the hall. The lights went down and the music went up, the night beginning to descend into something more appropriate for a couple of young guys turning 23.
It was then that a girl called Tess came over and sat in the now spare seat beside me. I'd hooked up with this girl once or twice before and she seemed to get it into her head that I wanted more from her. She was a friend of my brother Kyle's new girlfriend, Alice, and went to a local college in the city.
She was already a bit drunk when she draped herself over my lap, much to the amusement of Cade and some of our friends, who were now standing in a large group near the table doing shots. I'd told Cade that this girl meant nothing to me, so he was laughing his ass off at my plight.
Well, plight might be too strong a work. This girl was pretty hot to be fair, just not my type. She was pretty and blonde, with a cute smile and raunchy personality, but she didn't physically do it for me.
She was too skinny, too tall. I liked my girls a good 6 inches shorter than me when in their heels, not right up at my eye level. I also liked girls with a curve to their hips and ass, and this girl had neither.
I glanced again at Gemma, who was now sitting talking to Alice at the other side of the table, and my eyes washed over her. She had the sort of shape I liked, the sort of features I liked, the sort of personality I liked. But then, I knew that already...I always had.
Her eyes found me, drawn by the laughter of Cade and his cronies, and sh
e smiled lightly, her lips staying closed. Next to her, Alice noticed the sight of Tess draped over me and rolled her eyes, shaking her head. She was Tess' best friend, and I think she'd probably seen this all before.
I barely reciprocated when Tess stuck her tongue down my throat, the boys still ogling us over to the side. I pulled my face away from Tess' wandering tongue and shouted over towards them: “why don't you all fuck off and stop staring!”
They laughed a bit more before turning their attention to the latest shiny object to distract them. Fucking neanderthals.
Tess grabbed at my face again and carried on where she'd left off. I noticed Gem look away as she did, returning to her conversation with Alice.
I wish it was her on my lap instead.
….
The night was drawing on when I sought refuge from the clutches of Tess. That girl just didn't take no for an answer. I found myself looking for some quiet away from the noise and growing chaos of the party, heading off outside to get some fresh air.
I ventured down a corridor away from the hall and out onto a small garden to the back of the hotel. It was quiet and secluded, the beating thud of my party now only a blur in the distance. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, sucking the smoke in and exhaling deeply.
The night sky was clear that evening, the stars shining brightly as I sucked on my cigarette, filling the air with rings that drifted off and slowly disintegrated. I sat there for a few moments, alone, gathering my bearings, happy to be on my own.
I often got like this in group situations when Cade was around. It had always been the case: him stealing my thunder and putting me in the shade. He never did it on purpose, I don't think, he just had this more dominating personality. I guess, in that way, he was more like Crash, more like my father.
I sat back in the comfortable lounge chair, gazing up at the stars and trying to encircle them in rings of smoke, when suddenly I heard a voice behind me.
“You know, this is familiar.”
I sat up and turned around to see Gemma standing in the doorway, two champagne glasses in one hand and a bottle of Dom Perignon in the other.
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