by Marie Hall
Io made her way to the table where she usually sat and the keep brought her a cup of water and the small pack she'd asked the man to hold for her. It contained only some foodstuff so he'd not be tempted to pilfer any of it. When the man moved away, she took out an apple and shifting the child, pulled the small knife she carried from her boot.
What had she been thinking to try to stab Xavier? If she'd actually done it, if she'd injured or worse killed him, she'd swing for the crime. And really what harm had he done her? Her fingers lifted to the place on her cheek that was still tender. She used her shoulder to wipe away the tears hoping the child didn't see them.
The only wrong Xavier ever did was to make her believe in such things as home and family. He'd lied to himself more than to her when he said she was acceptable as his lady. And now they were both in the most impossible situation. She cut the apple and gave it to the girl then closed her eyes and wished it to be over.
* * *
"Lady Io came through the gates, sir," Landon said poking his head into Xavier's cabinet.
Xavier came to his feet and made his way towards the yards. Io hadn't been to the house since the day of the funeral and then she came to dress and give him back his ring.
He fingered that item now. He wore it on a little chain around his neck waiting until he could put it back where it belonged. He thought seeing the beautiful dress she wore when they wed, the only grown she had fitting her status, dyed black was hurtful. But when he'd returned to his chambers to again try and figure out who might have tried to kill her, finding her ring cut him in a way that knife she'd wielded never could.
He'd never known Io to be one to give up. She could be the most determined, most stubborn person in existence. Nothing short of a physical deterrent slowed her down. Now though it seemed she'd given up. She'd quit, no longer wanted to try. Well, he was still trying and he'd do so enough for both of them.
He entered the yard to see Io, a small group of children, a few of her guards and a couple he didn't recognize but could tell were of higher rank all heading towards Io's garden. He turned around and cut back through the house stepping out as Io and the couple took seats on the wall. One of Io's guards was saying something and pointing to the children who played a gentle game of chase; the three boys including and protecting the small girl.
Xavier couldn't tell from where he stood but the girl looked to be the same one who put flowers on the graves. The one Io seemed attached to. He assumed he'd have another orphan in his house. Oliver, the last one Io collected, was with the farrier learning the trade and doing very well with it. He didn't think that boy would ever find himself begging in the streets again or being used for nefarious acts by men. He could wonder where Io might place the girl but he knew without doubt she, too, would end well.
The woman called out and all the children rushed over. The girl stopping to press against Io's legs. Io knelt down and drew the girl out, speaking with her and pointing to the woman and her husband. The child looked frightened and uncertain but when prompted she moved over to the woman who lifted her with a smile. Xavier decided to discover what was happening and started across the yard. Already the woman and children were heading towards the front again. But Io had captured the man's arm and held him back.
"Do not suffer that child to my life." Xavier heard Io say.
"Pardon my lady?" The man looked at the retreating group then back at Io.
"Do not suffer that child my life," Io repeated. "When you are done with her, when she is a burden you no longer care for, when she isn't what you want or need any more…" She looked up and held the man's eyes. "Be merciful and end her. Before you act to set her out, just slit her throat and end her. No one should know this hell as I have. Just kill her and give her the peace she deserves."
The man looked horrified. Xavier was. Io's words chilled. That she'd request the murder of a child… Xavier couldn't react and neither could the man given he stayed frozen in place as Io lifted her skirts and walked away. Xavier watched her go then turned to the man who now had his hands covering his mouth. He might have been trying not to speak or not to yell or even scream, but Xavier couldn't tell and when approached, the man almost seemed to panic as he bowed formally to Xavier.
"Lord Brice, I swear we will care for the child through our lives. Lady Io… I… I… We would never kill the girl. My wife has longed for a daughter, as I have. This is a blessing to us. I told Sir Samuel this when he asked if we could take her in. We have means and we…"
Xavier held up his hand. "I am sure you will do well by her. If you find though that you cannot," he looked in the direction Io went, "bring her back to us. We will find a place for her."
"Yes, my lord," the man said bowing again and then nearly running to join his family.
Xavier turned and headed in the direction Io went but she'd disappeared. He needed to speak with her. He needed her help if he was going to rout the traitor in his house and end the threat to her. But Io wasn't one to make things easy. Not when she was giving up. He tracked her down towards evening, sitting near the mine staring at the fresh graves.
"Io," he called when she didn't stir in response to his approach. He saw her wipe at her face before looking in his direction. She gave him only a brief survey before again looking at the seven low mounds of dirt and the large slab of stone lying over the former entrance to the mine.
He knew the names of all killed were carved on the soft bath stone at Io's request. He'd paid for it and then told the mason to find a good piece of marble to redo the monument in a more permanent fashion. It was important to Io these people not be forgotten.
"I wish I was like them," Io said barely loud enough for him to hear.
"Io." He knelt and took her by the arms. "You do not. Do not say such things."
"Do not tell me what I wish and do not wish. I wish I was in their place." She pulled away. "I wish I had found myself so years and years ago." Her hand lifted to her shoulder and began rubbing. "There is nothing in this life but hardship and grief and I am weary of both."
He shifted and sat next to her. "Io, you know that is untrue." She shook her head. "Io, come now. Do you forget all the joyous things you have known? Do you forget," he had to think, "you enjoyed learning to read. You enjoy the books I have here." It was perhaps the first thing they'd done together and the experience stayed with him. Realizing now he missed the times they sat and read together and then discussed, or more often debated, the content. Now he couldn't remember the last time she'd even looked at one.
"Yes, a joy it is I can read the script on that stone there. Joy I was the one able to oversee its writing."
Put in that light, perhaps she didn't find reading and writing a happy endeavor. "Did you not enjoy learning the things you have?" She was intelligent, she did make use of what she was taught.
She shrugged. "Time wasted now. I do not have a reason now for such knowledge."
Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose, again she dismissed him. He knew she spoke about the way his mother continued to control the house. He'd not yet told her even now his mother and the Blake women were being packed and readied to return with his brothers until Alexander arrived. Why his eldest brother hadn't arrived already he didn't know. No word came on any reason and while they lived some distance apart, it wasn't so far as to take months.
"You learned to ride with some enjoyment and it is still a useful skill." She actually turned to glare at him. He was ready to meet her denial this time.
"And now that horse I rode is dead," Io said, finally turning back to stare out over the land. "Even she has found peace before me."
"Io." Damn but she wanted to see nothing but the bad. And he could concede much of her every day with him since he took her as wife was marred now. Still not everything was solely terrible. "You have all your friends. You can enjoy their company."
She snorted. "See them now? Are they here? Of course not because they are not so stupid as to fail to see association with me could m
ean their end."
"Io." He needed something now because the more she said, the more desperate he felt. This wasn't the woman he wed. This wasn't Io. She didn't linger on things like this. She assessed each matter then either chose to work at it or move past it. "Io, I am here." He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. The same one he'd slapped when she'd attacked him. "I understand things have been difficult. That we are…" he didn't want to say anything which sounded permanent, "struggling? But Io we are strong when we work together." He brushed away the tear that slipped down and scooted closer. He tried twice before she let him pull her so she leaned against him.
"And my use to you, now?" she said with a sniffle. "I think it will not be much longer and you will be gone from me too. And if you are not, what enjoyment in living this way? In struggling to hold on when the outcome is already very clear. And what joy then, do I find knowing it is I who places you at odds with your family, with your very own mother? What joy in knowing I could go and be replaced so easily and with someone more suitable? That I would have to live knowing always I am not as good as you should have and that I keep you from those who have been always in your life? I do not care for such a life."
"Io, I would rather have you and no one else. I—" Xavier started to set her right on this. But she jerked away and stood.
"You are an important man with many responsibilities. You cannot forsake all in favor of me. You cannot turn from those who stand as your allies, and your family is among those allies, for something as base as what pleasures you take in a woman's bed. Your mother was not wrong. I am easily replaced. Lady Sabrina has a dowry of substantial worth. It includes men of arms, fifteen I believe the number. And even some coins that you could hire more. Her own family is allied with other good families you can call on in kinship."
He hadn't thought Io really grasped much of the politics that ruled the lives of men like him. He'd not made any direction that she should be taught the complicated and often fragile make up of alliances. Truth was because such things were always shifting. One could be an ally one day and the next be declared an enemy. His marriage to her made his alliance to the crown more tangible but it didn't change it. He was loyal, would always be loyal to the crown. Io was his wife because of that fact. He wouldn't use her birthright, her royal blood to claim the throne. But Io didn't seem to know who, what she was. And if she did, she no more wanted to rule a nation than she wanted to rule his home. She led well enough but she preferred to do so from a state of equality. For her it worked well. At least until that stance made people think they could override her will. The deaths at the mine were a result of Io's orders being dismissed because her status as Lady wasn't clear, wasn't even known it seemed, in this shire. Though he didn't understand how anyone was unaware. Thinking on it, though, if Io had to shut the mine down, then his command, too, was ignored and, for sure, no one didn't know he was master here.
Xavier got to his feet and, stepping behind her, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her back against him. She didn't resist and he felt hope flicker. "Io, come… back to the house." He nuzzled her ear. "I did come to ask you to join me; let us take our leave of this place. The time nears if we are to attend the festival I told you about." He rested his chin on her shoulder, which blocked her when she again tried to rub at it. "We should attend, Io. We should give ourselves some time away from all the despair. No one would begrudge us this."
"We could not even manage to slip away for a few days. And somehow you think we might go for an extended time? You think some… thing will not again interfere? I do not believe it could happen. So it matters not if anyone begrudged this."
"This would not be anything so spontaneous, Io. This is well planned and—"
"You think I did not plan well for the day you promised me?" She stepped forward until she was free of his embrace. "I planned. I was careful in everything and still all that happened was I ended up locked in our chambers. All that happened was I was nearly brought to my end."
"Come back to the house, Io." Xavier grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "You cannot sit out here, the weather turns. You will come back to the house and you can decide then if you will join me when I go to the festival. I am going, Io. I am going and I want you to come with me." He started back to where his horse was saddled and it didn't occur to him Io's lack of resistance as he took her home was for any reason than she wanted to be home. But when he lifted her out of the little cart, her motive for the lack of struggle became obvious.
He set her on her feet then stepped back. She looked around. Her hand reached to rub at her shoulder then she spoke and Xavier didn't know if it was fear or anger washing over him.
"Here it will be easier for them to murder me. Tell them I will not resist again." She walked away leaving Xavier planning how to use the resources available to keep Io safe. He spent the whole of the night working through the names of every person in his house. He looked for anyone who might be behind the attempts on Io's life.
He did little else, but with little results.
Chapter Nine
Io stopped at the top of the steps and watched the activity. She knew the plan was to only load two wagons, but there were five. What was to be an unencumbered journey now was almost as large as when Xavier left for battle.
Io's things were among the piles of trunks. Her own plans were nearly set, going with Xavier was necessary as it'd give her the start she'd need. She'd already checked the maps and plotted her course. Her truest belongings were ready and didn't require the use of a wagon to carry them. She only needed to leave instructions for Sarah so the woman wouldn't be left serving Lady Sabrina in the house once Io was replaced. She turned and went back inside. She'd write those instructions now. She'd also write the men holding Xavier's other houses. She'd once hoped to see them again but she no longer hoped for anything. She'd write them, express her thanks for their support and ask them to do the same for Sabrina. Xavier would need their help with that woman as his wife.
Sabrina Blake had no skill dealing with people. She seemed to think she could say it and it would be so. Too many times her demands caused quarrels and stalled work. She hadn't even tried to take over the duties in the shires, which seemed strange as that was where she had the most support. The people were very excited to know their lord would be taking a fine lady to wife.
So Io would write and tell them to help Sabrina understand what it took to be wife to a man like Xavier. Perhaps with their help and guidance Xavier would have what he truly deserved a good and proper wife. A lady wife.
Io spent a while trying to find enough parchment before giving in and heading to the apartments she once occupied. Her writing set was still there and she'd find the supplies she needed. She could also make arrangements to send the set back to Ian. If the man chose to gift Sabrina with the set, that was his choice. Io wouldn't be able to take it with her but she didn't want to simply surrender it as she had everything else.
The fine box sat in the far corner of the room where she'd placed it when Xavier forbade her from writing the men. He feared then she'd write unkind things about the lady who'd soon replace her. She sighed, wondering if knowing she'd be writing them to ask them to be kind to the woman would please him more. She brushed at the layer of dust and shook her head. Xavier's pleasure was never predictable.
Lifting the lid, she removed both a stack of parchment and an ink well but her quill wasn't with the set. She sighed and moved to Xavier's table. His normally orderly space was a wild mess. Bits of paper and ledgers were spread out and stacked several high. Two inkwells were over turned and melted wax was pooled in one corner. Xavier must have spent some late nights working on whatever matter this represented. Io lifted a quill and stepped back only to watch several papers blow off the table with the stray breeze that came in through the large loophole. Io moved to collect the papers then moved to the opening used to light this space during the day and to observe the side yard. Io was about to loosen the ties so the coverings wou
ld block the wind when she caught the sound of giggles.
It was a rare sound these days in the house and Io felt her lips twitch up as she leaned to look out and see who'd managed to find such joy. She scanned the nearest section of the yard but didn't see anyone. She was pulling back when something caught her eye. She leaned further out and looked towards the back corner. The writing supplies fell to the floor. The thud of the inkwell echoed her heart against her breastbone while the silent scattering of the paper couldn't have been closer to how she thought her mind felt as she continued to watch Xavier pull Sabrina closer. Io knew he was deepening the kiss he engaged in with the other woman. She knew his tongue would first trace at the woman's lips until with a sigh or a gasp she'd open her mouth and Xavier would drive in. She knew too, from her many, many experiences, what Xavier would make Sabrina feel.
That he was as successful in his amorous advances with Sabrina as he'd been with Io was easy to see. Sabrina clung to him, her entire body arched against his. Io wasn't the only one who couldn't resist him. Xavier's hands held her against him but Io didn't see any effort to resist on Sabrina's part. Her arms rose up to wind around his neck and her foot lifted from the ground as she rubbed her leg against his. Tears welled and slipped down Io's cheek. Even more than when he'd called her an embarrassment, this hurt. Yet she couldn't look away. She couldn't stop trying to find that difference that made Sabrina more desirable. What, other than she was born and bred a lady, made Xavier want her so much more than he wanted Io?