by Marie Hall
She should tell them, show them the note he sent. She wasn't sure if she was clever or a fool for not slipping the paper in with all the others in her journal. Mark might have found it when he read through her private thoughts, except she'd placed that note with her mother's ring in the secret pocket of her surcoat.
"Io," Roslyn called, setting her sewing aside and setting her hand on Io's thigh. "Io, do you really believe your husband intends that you should die? Do you?"
Io tried to hold the woman's stare but Roslyn's continued championing of Xavier made her uncomfortable. They'd spoken some on the matter. Io explained how a better woman waited for Xavier. But the woman was disbelieving. Io shifted her gaze back out the window.
"Io." Roslyn slid closer and took Io's hands in her own. "Io, I have seen much in my life. And I have seen men behave in some unexplainable ways. They are so often predictable when it comes to their pride or their standing. I have seen them do things in the name of honor and vengeance and to simply be cruel. I can tell you, Io, if a man wants something and someone stands in their way they are not so complicated as to not dispatch that which keeps them from what they want."
"Why do you tell me this?" Io tried to extract her hands but Roslyn's grip tightened.
"When your husband appeared at my gates, all he wanted, Io, the only thing he could desire in this life was your restored health."
Io began shaking her head. "No." She wouldn't be a fool a second time.
"Io, that man, your husband was terrified you would die. He had to be dragged away by five men so we could tend you without stepping on him. He made demands on us with only you as his consideration. And he spent hours on his knees praying, begging God to spare you. There is not one soul here who does not believe had you died he would have followed you into the grave. A man is not easily given to tears, Io, but Xavier wept for you." Again Io could only shake her head. She should show them the man he really was, but she hadn't. Why hadn't she?
"Io." Roslyn squeezed her hands. "Search your heart. Remember everything you know of Xavier. Ask yourself, is he such a man he would commit himself to someone then betray them? Is he the kind of man who does not obtain his goals by the quickest, most efficient means? What purpose can it serve to save your life when you were so close to death? Think how easy to leave you only a few more hours. To pass by this house and go on to one more suited to his rank. Your death would have been a simple complication. A fever. So many die of the very same every day. All he had to do was let it happen." Again she squeezed Io's hands. "He did not let it happen, Io. He did not. Ask yourself, why." Roslyn lifted a hand and set it on Io's cheek. Her thumb brushed at tears Io didn't know rolled down her face. "Search your heart, Io. The answers are there."
* * *
Dark, beautiful, powerful, dangerous were all words Io would use to describe what was before her now. The waves rolled in and crashed down with a near deafening sound. The white caps bubbled and sparkled as they rushed up then washed back. On the far horizon she could see streaks of lightning strike out from the black clouds and between the air and sea, the red of the setting sun held the two storming factions apart. The wind picked up and tugged her hair back from her face so the spray could mix with what tears still remained.
She'd done as asked. She'd searched her heart. But the answers she found didn't give her any direction. In fact, they left her feeling more lost and alone than ever before. Roslyn was correct in her assessment of Xavier's actions. He'd not done as any other man might who wanted to be rid of someone. Had she died of fever, he'd not be blamed, in fact, such an ending would garner him a great deal of sympathy. The king couldn't hold him responsible. Depending on what story he told about how she'd taken ill, no one would even think anything of her manner of death. But he'd ensured she lived. Beyond all that, he'd been determined enough to find her. To track her down with the intent to return her to his house. Why?
The white foam finally made it far enough up the sand to reach her toes and Io shivered at the cold water. The wind gained in strength and flattened her skirts against her legs. She took one step forward towards the surf.
Why had he come for her? And knowing everything as she did, did she want him still? Did she want to return to his house knowing what awaited there with Lady Sabrina and her attackers? Did she even have a choice?
She took a few more steps and the next wave broke and ran up as high as her ankle. Her wet hem stuck to her even when the wind died down.
None of this was what she thought would come to pass when she left. Leaving was supposed to free her. Free her from the longing, the desire to again have Xavier favor her. But he'd not stayed behind. Not in the physical meaning and certainly not in her mind. Every day she was reminded of him in some way. She'd lie down, exhausted, but wanting his touch still. Every time she navigated a trail or decided if a road was safe to travel, she heard his voice advising. Even without him next to her, he directed her choices. The echoes in her mind, his voice repeating lessons learned, were never wrong. And try as she might, she couldn't go against what she knew he'd prefer. Freedom was as much a fairytale as home.
The next wave rocked her backwards, hitting at her knees, and as the waters ran back, she was tugged along. Even the water wouldn't leave the choice to her.
"Io." She spun at Gerald's sharp voice. He was stomping towards her like he intended to throttle her himself. "Get out of that water," he yelled.
Io's hair whipped around her as a second wave crashed up behind her knees and nearly toppled her. She stumbled back and the next wave hit her thigh high pushing her back towards the shore.
"Io," he yelled again, a hint of concern in his voice. He couldn't follow her as he didn't swim. She saw him come towards her only as far as the water's edge. "Right now, Io, you come out of that water. What are you thinking? Get back here now."
He wasn't use to commanding her directly. He more often only passed on commands given by Xavier. And when he wanted to have her do something that was his will, he more often made strong suggestions followed by a list of reasons she should do as told.
"Io, come out of the water, you will take sick again. The water is too wild for you to be in it."
A smile tugged at her lips. There he went. Telling her why her choice to stand in the waves was a poor idea. Having the predictability was one of the best part of her life with Xavier and these men. None of them did what wasn't expected. So why hadn't she'd been able to predict Xavier's behavior better? Her predictions hadn't been based on what she knew of Xavier, but rather what she'd been exposed to before him. But hadn't he proved to be vastly different than any other she knew?
"Io, it is a poor idea to be in the water," Gerald almost whined. But it was her idea. She was not his to command. At this very moment, her life was hers to decide and damn she wasn't going to give that up. Not yet. She turned again and trudged through the water until she was waist deep. The wave came in, lifting her off her feet but she got them under her and was ready when the next one rolled up on her. When the loll came, she turned back surprised to see Gerald had waded in up to his knees.
"Io, come back to shore." He held his hand out to her.
"This is my choice," she yelled back. Behind him she saw others coming now. Xavier was one of them. She was about to turn and dive beneath the waves and swim out but, before she could decide her course, Gerald turned and yelled at the men heading their way.
"Hold him back," Gerald's command stopped everyone in their tracks. "Hold him, do not let him come any closer."
She could see Xavier step forward, knew he was issuing a counter command, but to her surprise, he was grabbed back first just by Jon but when Jon couldn't hold him alone, Ian stepped in and grabbed hold. The fight was on and as strong and as skilled as Xavier was, he couldn't defend himself against the six men who subdued him. He didn't give up the struggle but was soon face down in the sand with all six men piled on top of him.
"Io," Gerald called like maybe he'd called her name for a time. She t
urned to face him. "Io, come back. We can speak about this."
"No, no, always we speak but my will is dismissed," Io told him then fought to stay on her feet as the waves crashed in.
"Io, this is not the way to do this. Come back." He waved his hands urging her to step towards him. Over his shoulder she could see Xavier trying to lift up only to be shoved down again.
She turned away again and cast about for any choice but the one to return to shore. Trying to swim now, even a short distance to be able to get to the shore further north or south, would be impossible. She turned back, her eyes flashing to where Xavier still tried to throw off those who held him. Why? "Why when he does not want me." The words were picked up by the wind and when she spoke again it was to scream "He does not want me."
Gerald turned and looked back to shore. "Io, does that truly look to you like a man who does not want you?"
She knew they looked at the same scene. Xavier fighting for all he was worth to get to her. He didn't give up, he struggled through the impossibility of even a chance to win the battle. He fought on.
"Io," Gerald called and she turned back. What choice did she have? "Io, come tell me what it is you want. What is it you need?"
"I need the choice to be mine," she screamed at him. Why couldn't any of them understand this? "Mine. My choice. I want it to be my choice." Always her choice was stripped from her. It was never up to her. Even when someone tried to tell her she could choose, there wasn't any real choice. Any option always led her on the path to do as others wanted. Even being wed to Xavier wasn't her choice. Not really, like every other time, she'd simply acquiesced. When another was chosen to be his wife, her choice to fight or surrender was made for her too.
Gerald waded in waist deep and fought not to get swept under the same as she. He couldn't swim, yet came out so far. And Xavier still tried, though she could see his strength failing. "Then make your choice, Io. Make it now and stand by it. Choose." He held a hand out to her and used the other to point back towards the shore. "Choose."
"He does not want me. There is nothing for me with him." The next wave pushed her down and for a moment the waters covered her but she was up again in time to see Gerald climbing to his feet after being knocked down.
He pointed out to the blackening sea. "What is out there?"
Io knew. Death was out there. And out there, it was assured. She looked again towards the shore. Over the wind and waves Io thought she caught the sound of Xavier calling to her. Why had he saved her from the fever? Why had he come after her? Why did he speak of taking her back, keeping her safe if all he wanted was to replace her with a lady of breeding and manners? Another wave sent her toppling forward, back towards shore. Before she could get her feet under her, another wave pushed her even closer.
"Choose, Io." His hand again reached for her. "Choose." He leaned out and when he reached for her, she grabbed on.
She grabbed on because she had no other choice. Her first step through the traitorous waters, which a moment ago seemed to urge her back to Xavier, now grabbed at her feet and tried to pull her back into the sea. She fought against it but, with Gerald trying to hold on and stay up, she was without leverage. The surge pulled her from the bottom while the wave crashing over her forced her down. Her hold on Gerald broke and she saw him dragged under as the waters closed over her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Xavier struggled against the stupid men who held him. As soon as he was free, they'd all be charged with treason. He'd end their lives in the worst way he could think of. He managed to get his head and shoulders up. It took a moment to locate Io and Gerald in the surf. No sooner did he find them than a series of high waves swept them both under. They surfaced for a moment then another wave covered them and they didn't come up.
"No, Io." Strength he didn't know a man could possess freed him from those restraining him and he was in the surf where he saw her go under with no clear memory of getting there. He dove beneath the waves, resurfacing to search for her. Behind the next wave, she bobbed up then was pulled down. Xavier dove down and swam towards her. Reaching out blindly, his hand made contact. Again he used strength he didn't know he possessed. Pulling Io with him he kicked, his legs carrying them back and up. He got his feet on solid ground. They broke the surface gasping and coughing close enough to shore the waves couldn't get hold again. One look back and he saw Gerald surface, coughing and struggling to get his feet under him. The next wave pushed Gerald within reach. Xavier grabbed the man's shirt and pulled him in. Between the two of them he wondered if the sea wasn't going to claim them all. He'd let Gerald go if it was the only way. But the tide was with him. He dragged them both from the churning, foaming waters.
Xavier's legs gave out beyond the reach of the surf and they collapsed onto the sand. Io's eyes flew open and she rolled to her knees, coughing up the water she'd nearly drowned in. Xavier patted her back until the coughing subsided. When she finally turned those beautiful blue eyes towards him, all he could think was how much he couldn't live without this woman.
"What were you trying to do?" he asked, taking a seat next to her.
Another coughing fit took her, but she sat back and pushed her hair back from her face. Xavier watched her chest rise and fall with a few deep breaths and when he again caught her eye, he saw nothing but pure determination in them. He knew that look and he knew it never boded well for him.
"I was trying to see if the ocean was salty, that I might have one truth back in my life," Io said before Ian and Jon pulled her to her feet and dragged her away. He watched her struggle. When Ian's arms wrapped around her upper body and Jon took her legs he knew she'd be carried back to the house. Xavier fell to his back and flung an arm over his eyes. How close to death did he have to see her get before he wasn't able to save her? It wasn't supposed to be this hard to keep his wife safe and secured. She should be home, near a warm fire, without worry. Xavier dropped his arm and turned his head. Next to him, Gerald rolled to his hands and knees. Coughing and shaking his head, he finally looked at Xavier.
There was a moment of silent communication. Xavier questioning his telling the men to hold him back and daring him to again usurp his authority and Gerald offering no apology for the actions but also not indicating he wanted the power that was Xavier.
"It had to be her choice," Gerald finally said as he sat back. "It had to be her choice. And, Xavier…"
"What?" he snapped wondering what would have happened if she'd made some other choice.
"She chose to come back," he finished and climbed to his feet. "Give her the chance to make the choice. Do not force her to your will, Xavier."
Xavier, too, stood up. One good look at his man and he could see the fear he'd felt. "You really need to learn to swim," Xavier said before leaving Gerald standing there trying to make his legs work.
He took a moment to look back at the water. It was strangely calm now, the tide going out and the storm clouds lifting so the setting sun was clearly visible. He was never one for omens or divine signs but he wondered now if someone was trying to tell him something. With a shake of his head, he made his way to his horse, checking one time to see Gerald making his way up the beach. He didn't wait for the man, he couldn't. Digging in his heels he set Cloud galloping towards Io.
* * *
Xavier pushed away from the window and paced across the floor again. From the corner of his eye, he caught Jon rubbing at his black eye. Mark sat with his head tipped back trying to keep his broken nose from bleeding. Reaching the other side of the room, he turned on his heel and paced back. This time his eyes shifted to where Io sat on the floor. Her knees were drawn up, her chin resting there. Her arms wrapped around her legs, she presented as a small and vulnerable bit of fluff. Again his eyes swung to his men. No doubt they'd never think Io incapable of defending herself or at least putting up a good fight. Ian wasn't in the room as Io's foot connected hard enough with the man's sack as to lay him in the dirt on the road. Xavier knew Gerald collected Ian
and helped him back because he was present when Xavier unleashed on them.
Never again would he tolerate their defiance. Never again would they be allowed to stand between Io and himself. He'd been graphic about what would become of them if they ever challenged him again. Then Mark spoke up and doused Xavier's flame.
"My liege," he started and Xavier expected nothing less than a full apology and affirmation of his rank over them. "Xavier, our loyalty to you is as it has always been. I know I speak for everyone when I tell you we would follow you into hell if it was your will. Never have we thought to break our oath to you, to the king we all serve." Xavier thought that was the end but Mark wasn't done. "But when you took Io to wife, the oath to you extended to her. We cannot forsake our duty to Io any more than we could forsake it to you. And when the battle is between our lord and lady, it is you who are most capable of standing alone so it is for us to stand with her." He'd actually said those words with blood oozing from his nose.
"You are not to interfere between my wife and me," Xavier countered.
"And we have not nor will we, when the matter is nothing but domestic discourse. Xavier this is not a matter of Io not wanting to come inside after dark. Io did not run because you would not allow her to spew vulgarities. Until we know what or who is behind the reason for her actions…"
Xavier held up his hand. The man didn't have to say more. Xavier knew he was correct. Still it grated they even had to choose sides. He wasn't Io's enemy; she couldn't be better in anyone else's care. He'd give her everything, anything she needed or wanted. So what had brought them here? Why now were they engaged in this struggle?
His pacing again brought him to the window. The storm passed without more than a light rain and now the sky was clear. The stars twinkled bright against the darkness. Those stars, which lead Io away from him, he should hate them, never want to look at them again.