by Leigh, T. K.
I raked my hands down his back and he arched into me, a look of bliss rolling over him. This was what intimacy was supposed to be about. It was about sharing your heart, your soul, your love with another person through a physical act. Words were meaningless without action. With Dante, I didn’t even need to hear the words. He proved it to me with the way he cared for me. The way he protected me. The way he looked at me, as if I were the most beautiful woman on the earth.
“I don’t want to love you,” I murmured against his lips as he brought me higher and higher. He ran his tongue down my jawline, nibbling slightly on my earlobe, and my body spiraled further and further toward the euphoria only this man could bring me to.
“But you do,” he stated, not even questioning.
“I do,” I admitted with a small sob.
He crushed his mouth to mine, our tongues tangling as he kissed me with more passion than anyone ever had. I never wanted this moment to end. I never wanted to leave this man. I feared I’d never feel this way again. I just couldn’t stay. Dante put his trust in fate. I needed to do the same. If we were truly meant to be together, fate would make sure our paths crossed when it was the right time for both of us. I had to believe that. It was the only thing that prevented my heart from shattering into thousands of pieces.
I tried to hold on as long as I could, but the feeling of him moving so completely inside me was too much and I came undone, murmuring his name as he moaned through his own release.
We remained still for a while, then Dante pushed up, giving me a soft kiss. Silence stretched between us as we dressed. I feared if I said anything, I’d break down, the lump in my throat excruciating.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you,” he said finally, pulling me into his embrace.
“What’s that?” I struggled to say.
“Make love to you in the vineyard. I look forward to bringing you back here and making love to you in the barrel room.”
“Dante…,” I began, a hint of caution in my voice.
“Shh,” he hushed me, kissing the top of my nose. “Don’t. Let me keep the hope alive for one more day.”
I met his eyes, seeing he was doing everything he could to mask his own pain. “Okay.” I held his gaze a moment longer before turning toward the horizon, the sun almost gone from view. “For one more day.”
Chapter Sixteen
There was a heaviness in my chest as I lay wide awake Tuesday morning, the sun beginning to peek through the blinds. I thought the previous day was difficult enough as I said goodbye to all of Dante’s family, including his mother, knowing I’d probably never see her again. But that was nothing compared to the all-consuming ache that had settled in my limbs as we’d watched the sun set over Rome, wrapped in each other’s embrace, the reality that it was the last one we would share for the foreseeable future rendering us mute. We’d stayed up most of the night, neither one of us wanting to sleep. Every second counted, and we didn’t want to waste a single one.
As much as I’d allowed myself to live in the clouds this past week, I was now forced to face reality. And the reality was, in just a few hours, I’d be sitting on an airplane, heading back to whatever pieces of my life remained. I’d have to face my parents, my boss…possibly even Brock. I wondered if I’d ever again feel the happiness I’d experienced because of a chance meeting with a handsome Italian man. I swallowed hard at the notion, a lone tear falling down my cheek. I’d lost count of the number of tears I’d shed over the past twenty-four hours whenever I thought about having to say goodbye, having to walk away, having to try to live without a piece of my heart.
Always able to sense my unease, Dante snaked an arm around me, pulling me against him, my back to his front. He feathered kisses along my shoulder blades, his mouth warming my chilled skin. I pulled my lips between my teeth, fighting against the sob bubbling inside me as I thought how this would be the last time I’d feel his arms pull me to him first thing in the morning. How I’d never again feel the scruff of his jawline against my skin. How I’d never again feel the heat of his body on top of mine.
“Shh,” he soothed, gingerly pushing me onto my back. I closed my eyes, not wanting him to see how much this hurt me. “It’s going to be okay.” He swiped at the tears falling steadily down my face, my chest heaving from my cries. He buried his head in my neck. “It’s going to be okay,” he repeated, then pulled back, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
Desperation taking over, I grabbed the back of his neck and forced his lips to mine, kissing him fully, giving him everything I could…my heart, my soul, my love. It didn’t matter that I’d only known him for such a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. I was absolutely certain this was the real thing. This was love. If I never saw Dante again after today, I’d forever be grateful that fate intervened and let me experience something I didn’t think existed in real life.
Tearing his lips from mine, he settled himself between my legs and pushed into me. He held my head in his hands, our bodies moving in time with each other. I kept my eyes locked on his, fully aware this would be the last time I’d feel him moving inside me. The last time I’d experience that warmth fill nearly every inch of me as he gave me everything he had. The last time I’d fall to pieces, a sensation of complete ecstasy enveloping me from the love we displayed through this simple act.
“I just need to make one quick stop,” Dante said in an even tone, pulling up in front of his restaurant later that morning. “Don’t worry. You’ll still have plenty of time to make your flight.”
I nodded. Normally, I would have insisted we go straight to the airport, hating the idea of cutting it close for anything, especially international flights. I no longer worried about those things. If fate wanted me to miss my flight, I wasn’t one to interfere. Not anymore.
He jumped out of the car and headed to my side, opening my door. Holding his hand toward me, I took it and he helped me out, then led me away from the restaurant.
“Where are we going?” I asked, stealing a glance at him. There was a weariness about him, his eyes lacking the usual excitement and vitality they had when we’d first met.
“It’s a surprise,” he responded, recovering, shooting me a mischievous smile.
We continued in silence, walking the same path we did my first night in town when he accompanied me to the Trevi Fountain. I wished I could rewind the clock to that night. I remembered feeling so free, so full of hope. Now all I felt was my heart breaking, unsure how I’d survive without this man who was a complete stranger last week.
“Are you certain you’ll be okay at Mila’s?” Dante asked as we passed the same alley he’d dragged me to all those nights ago.
“Of course,” I assured him. “She and her husband live in a suburb north of Hollywood. My parents and Brock would have to sit in traffic for over an hour just to get there.”
He shot me a concerned look, silently reminding me that Brock had spent twelve hours on a flight to come find me. An hour in traffic wouldn’t be that big a deal.
“I’ll be fine. They have two kids and family is constantly stopping by. Not to mention, the town is soccer mom central.”
He lifted a brow. “Soccer mom central?”
“Yeah. A bunch of bored housewives who have nothing better to do than watch all the comings and goings of the neighborhood. Trust me. If anyone even attempted to stop by, it would be on the five o’clock news before you could say Botox.” I looked forward once more, soaking in the sights and smells of Rome in the morning. “Plus, her husband works for the FBI. It’s really the only place I’ve ever felt safe.”
He bit his lips. I could tell he didn’t like the idea of me returning to Los Angeles where I could run into my father or Brock. I had no plans to go out of my way to see Brock. My father was a different story. Had I never overheard Dante’s phone conversation, I would have done everything to free myself from the control my parents had over me. But now, I needed to spend time with my father in t
he hopes I could uncover the answers Dante needed.
As we rounded the corner, I stopped in my tracks when the fountain came into view. But that wasn’t what caught me off guard. It was the lack of people. It was nine in the morning, a time of day the fountain was typically buzzing with activity. Instead, the whole plaza was empty, police barricades set up to keep the public away.
“What’s going on? Are they shooting something here today?” Being from LA, whenever I saw barricades, I immediately assumed it was due to filming.
“Not exactly. Come.” He pulled me with him, nodding at one of the officers, who stepped aside, allowing us access to the roped off area.
“What are you doing?” I asked, struggling to keep up with his long strides.
“I wanted to give you something to remember me by,” he explained, coming to a stop directly in front of the fountain. He grabbed both of my hands in his, facing me.
“You already have,” I said in earnest.
A smile crossed his lips, but it was lacking its normal frivolity. It was troubled, pained, broken. “Then maybe I wanted to give myself one more memory. Give us one more memory.” Letting go of my hands, he reached into his pocket. He hesitated, his lips parting. My chin trembled as I stared at the despair and sadness covering his expression. “So, tell me, Eleanor from Southern California,” he began in an uneven tone, clearing his throat as he tried to hide his emotions. “What’ll it be? One, two, or three coins?” He held his hand out, displaying three euro coins, just like our first night here.
A tightness in my chest, I kept my eyes glued to him. I took one euro coin from his outstretched hand, unable to utter a single syllable through the pain in my throat, in my soul, in my heart.
“Not looking for love?” he mused, just as he had that first night together, although his voice lacked the flirtatious quality it had back then. Now it was full of longing.
Pinching my lips together, I slowly shook my head, my chin quivering. “How can I be searching for something I’ve already found?”
He pulled my body into his as I allowed my emotions to overtake me, my sobs consuming me, soaking his dark shirt. At that moment, I wished I’d never gotten on that plane, that I’d picked some different location to escape to. I hated the thought of leaving this man, this place, of never feeling as alive as Dante had made me feel the past few days.
“It doesn’t have to be this way.” He cupped my cheeks in his strong hands, forcing me to look at him. There was an urgency about him. “We don’t have to say goodbye.” His eyes turned pleading. I could see this was hurting him as much as it was me. “We can figure this out. Together.”
I shook my head, barely able to see through my kaleidoscope eyes. I wished I could give him the answer he wanted. That I’d take a risk and do everything I could to make it work between us.
“I want to say yes so badly, but I can’t. Not now.” I pulled my lips between my teeth. “I’ve never had to do anything for myself. My parents paid for my college and law school, then got me my job. I’ve never paid for my own apartment, never got a job based on my qualifications…other than my last name. If I don’t do this, if I don’t go back home and learn to stand on my own two feet, if I don’t learn how to swim on my own, I’ll drown.”
“It’s okay to depend on other people,” he argued frantically, desperation taking over. “If I didn’t have the support of my family, I’m pretty sure I’d be dead right now.”
“Dante, please,” I begged, too stubborn to listen. “We’ve been living in the clouds all week. If I stay, we’ll never come down. I’m afraid we’ll crash and burn.”
“How do you know?” he pushed, his gaze growing intense.
“How do you know we won’t?” My voice was barely audible as I drew in a shaky breath. “You say you believe in fate. You need to trust that if we’re truly meant to be together, fate will make it so. Every love story has a struggle, a time when all hope is lost.” I smiled a small smile, hoping with everything I had that the words I spoke were true. “Maybe this is our struggle. Maybe we need to suffer through this pain so when we finally find our happy ending, we’ll never take each other for granted.”
“What’s going to happen now?” he asked in a pained voice. “You refuse to give me your phone number, your email address, anything to contact you.”
“I need to have it this way, Dante.” I peered into his eyes. “You’re my strength, but also my weakness. If you contact me, if I know you’re just a phone call or email away, I’ll break down and lean on you. I can’t do that. Not right now.”
“But—”
I placed my hand on his cheek. “We need to learn to find comfort in the idea that we can look at the same sun, the same moon, the same stars. We’ll go on and adjust to what life is like with a piece of our heart missing,” I choked out. “And every night, we’ll pray to the same heaven that if we’re truly meant to be together, fate will make it so.”
He pressed his forehead against mine as I clutched onto his back, squeezing my eyes shut. I’d waited nearly three decades to finally experience what love felt like. I thought being born to parents who never cared about me was the most painful thing possible, but I was wrong. Having to walk away from this man who had shown me what unconditional love was hurt more than anything I’d thought possible. It felt like someone ripped out my heart, twisting and squeezing it.
“I want you to promise me something.” I pulled away, meeting his sad eyes. “Get the answers you need, regardless of where you find them.”
“What do you—”
“Lilly. You need to know the truth. Promise me you’ll do whatever it takes to get to the truth, whether James is behind it all…” I paused, giving him a knowing look, “or someone else.” As despair covered his face, I sensed he knew exactly what I was trying to tell him.
“Even if it means someone I care about gets hurt along the way?”
I caressed his face, wiping his few tears with my thumbs. “Maybe that someone would rather you no longer live with the pain that’s been burdening you since Lilly’s death. Maybe that someone knows how important it is for you to have answers so you can close this chapter in your life.” My chin trembled, my voice catching. “Maybe that someone wants to repay the gift you’ve given her.”
“And what’s that?”
“Hope. Faith. Love.”
Dante fished a monogrammed handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping my cheeks with it. “Ours will forever be my favorite love story,” he said in that deep baritone I’d hear in my dreams until I drew my last breath. “No matter how it ends.”
I clutched his hand as he ran it along my face, staring into his deep pools of affection. “I love you, Dante,” I admitted.
His shoulders fell when he heard me finally say those three words to him. “And I will always love you, my beautiful Eleanor.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Sempre e per sempre.”
Chapter Seventeen
“This is a final boarding call for Alitalia flight 620 to Los Angeles,” an accented female voice announced on the overhead speakers. “All ticketed and confirmed passengers please proceed to gate E34.”
I lifted my eyes from the monogrammed handkerchief I’d been staring at for the past several hours, wondering if I’d made the right decision. Standing, I drew in a deep breath, my boarding pass clutched firmly in my hand, looking back and forth between the jetway and the terminal, still torn. As I’d sat in the gate area, I’d gone through my mental lists of the pros and cons of staying and going, not one reason outweighing the other. I’d never been so confused in my life. I’d never been so unsure of a decision before, especially at the eleventh hour.
“Signorina?” a voice said.
“Yes?” I whipped my head in its direction, staring into the dark eyes of a petite brunette wearing an airline uniform.
“Are you supposed to be on this flight?”
I opened my mouth, unsure of how to respond. Was I supposed to be on this flight? Was that what fate really wa
nted me to do? Up until this moment, I was certain of the course I should take, that I should get on that plane and go home, that my reasons for leaving Dante justified my decision. Now I wasn’t sure.
“I just need one minute,” I answered.
“We’ll be closing the doors in five minutes,” she warned me.
“Thank you.”
I folded the handkerchief, returning it to the pocket of my suit jacket, stilling when my fingers landed on a cold metal object. I pulled it out and brought it in front of my eyes, staring at the 50 cent euro coin Dante had given me to throw into the fountain earlier today. We’d been so wrapped up in saying goodbye that I never tossed it.
I blinked repeatedly, wondering if this were a sign. Should I go back to the fountain and throw it in? Or maybe it was bigger than that. Maybe I’d forgotten to toss it for a reason. As I stared at the coin, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been here before, had done this same thing.
“Just make a decision already, will you?” I urged Mila. My parents were out of town and we were planning to go on one last adventure before going our separate ways for college. We were supposed to leave in the morning, but Mila had yet to decide between Santa Barbara or San Francisco.
“Why can’t we just get in the car and go where it decides to take us?” she said in an airy voice, brushing me off.
“Because I’m the one driving the car, so I need to know which direction to steer it.”
“You worry too much, Ellie. Sometimes you need to let life take you on the path it wants you to go on.”
I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Mila, please…”
She looked up from her magazine, sighing. “Fine. How about we flip a coin? Heads we go to the beach. Tails we go to Alcatraz.”
“Flip a coin?” I wrinkled my nose. “Why don’t we just make a list of pros and cons? That seems more practical.”
She got up from my bed and rummaged through my desk, finding a dollar coin I still had from my trip to Australia last year.