by C. M. Albert
He lifted both hands in the air. “Whoa, Mitch, take it easy. Yeah . . . we have a brief history that went nowhere. She’s easy on the eyes to watch walk out of the room, that’s all. But I didn’t realize you guys were in a relationship.”
I cleared my throat, but didn’t correct him. Technically, we weren’t. I’m guessing we knew Dez in about the same fashion, which pissed me off even more.
“Oh,” he said, clearly understanding. “Well, here’s my advice, man to man. She’s a runner. She doesn’t like to get close. She’s happy enough with a night, but she told me herself she’ll never love someone again. So . . . don’t get too attached if you don’t want to get hurt.”
I stormed out of the room, not waiting to hear what the doctor had to say. I’d check back in later with a nurse. Fuck him.
I saw Dez getting into the elevator to head up to the maternity ward and cursed. Maybe Dr. Zampogna was right. Who was I kidding? I’d known her less than a week and already I was getting my dick all in a twist thinking about forever?
Nah. She was leaving after the holidays. There was no way I was risking my heart. I stormed off to make a call. I had work to do, and I needed Rosalie’s help.
ROSALIE MET ME thirty minutes later at the entrance to the children’s ward. Inez and Bridgette were already there, along with a dozen older kids. We were there to hand out ornaments and stuffed animals to the kids who were in the hospital on Christmas Eve. I knew a few of them in particular were struggling with their terminal diagnoses, and I thought Rosalie might be able to help. She was a ray of sunshine in her bright red sweater, tight blue jeans, and white, furry winter boots. The snow had stuck on the roads last night, but not that bad. The real push was coming through this evening and would be messy. I wanted to get the ornaments delivered and head back to Tranquility before they became impassable.
However, I would do my best to keep my distance from Dez while I was out there. Now that I knew her body intimately, I couldn’t erase the images that were running in my head of her and Dr. Zampogna. Had she fucked him at the hospital?
Jesus! I couldn’t boot the thought from my mind now that it was stuck there.
I took a deep breath and focused on the task at hand. Rosalie beamed at me as she grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hallway. We had a cart of gifts to give away.
“Hey, Marissa,” I said, walking into a little girl’s room. “Ouch. You look like you have a boo-boo.” That was an understatement. The five-year-old girl was recovering from a car accident, her arm suspended from a pole in a full-length cast from fingertips to upper arm.
“Yeah, my daddy’s car got hit by a truck. The bad guy was speeding.”
“The bad guy?” I asked.
“The bad guy who was driving the truck that hit us.”
“What makes him a bad guy, sweetie?” Rosalie asked.
The little girl looked at Rosalie as if she were dense. “Because he hit us.”
Rosalie smiled, handing the little girl a stuffed cat with a sparkly purple ornament hanging from its neck. “Well, I know this isn’t going to make your boo-boo go away, but we brought you a little gift since you’re in the hospital on Christmas.”
The little girl took the present from Rosalie and smiled. She pressed the stuffed animal’s paw and was delighted to see its heart light up. “Thank you,” she whispered quietly, a worried look settling across her brow.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Rosalie asked.
“I’m scared,” she admitted, petting the cat’s soft fur.
I ruffled her hair. “Hey, don’t worry, kiddo. Okay? The bad guy isn’t going to hurt you ever again. You’ll be all better soon and home before you know it.”
“That’s not why I’m scared,” she said, looking up at Rosalie.
“What is it, sweetie?” she asked.
Marissa looked back at me. “I’m not going to lose my arm like you did, am I?”
My heart ached for the little girl. “No sweetie. You won’t. Mine was from an accident that doesn’t happen to very many people. Your arm will be as good as new in just a few months. You’ll be swimming, playing tennis, and doing cartwheels by summertime. I promise.”
Relief washed over her face, her blue eyes brighter. She twirled her blond pigtail with her free hand. “It’s hard doing stuff with only one hand, isn’t it?” she asked.
“Yeah, but you get used to it. Before long, you can do everything you could before with both hands. And want to know a secret?” I whispered.
She nodded solemnly as I leaned in. “Your other hand will get even stronger now and you’ll be able to do all kinds of new things you never thought you could do with one hand!”
Her eyes grew round. “Awesome,” she whispered.
“Well, we have more kids to visit today. You take care, okay, Marissa? And Merry Christmas!”
The little girl was happily playing with her new stuffed animal when we left her room. Rosalie’s eyes were bright with excitement. “Oh, Mitch! Thanks for asking me to come today. This is so fun making the kids a little happier.”
For the first time, I saw Rosalie’s genuine side come out, and it was refreshing. She was young, but she was beautiful, vibrant, and caring.
“Wait till you meet Andrew,” I said. “He’s super smart and very intuitive. He has stage IV cancer and is back in the hospital with an infection. He has a lot of questions I think you can help him with.”
When we got to Andrew’s room, the mood shifted drastically. Rosalie could tell how sick the twelve-year-old boy was, and her mood reflected that. I introduced them, and Andrew quickly picked up that there was something different about Rosalie. It was a little eerie, but it was like watching a like soul meet a like soul. They instantly recognized each other.
Rosalie asked to go in alone, so I gave her some time and space while she spoke privately with Andrew. I finished delivering my gifts to the kids on the floor and checked my watch. It was already past lunch, and I hadn’t heard from Dez since she slunk out of Ti’s room.
I had unfinished business with her. I needed to know what her relationship with Zade had been like. Even if we weren’t a couple, I needed to know if I was just another guy in a long list of conquests. Images of her long, naked torso beneath me filled my mind. We’d moved so tenderly, so in sync as we made love. It was hard to believe I was just another one-night stand.
I paced the waiting room waiting for Rosalie to finish, images of my night with Dez fusing with imaginary scenarios between her and Zade. Inez and Bridgette popped in to tell me they were leaving. I filled them in on Christiano’s situation, and they let me know they’d support me however they could. I was appreciative when they insisted on taking over my on-call duty for the holidays so I could focus on Ti and try to figure out my next steps. Mostly, I knew I needed time alone to digest what had happened and to decide if I could open my heart and home to this troubled kid.
I sat on a table, looking out the window at the gray, overcast sky and the busy parking lot. Though it was a smaller town, the hospital was unfortunately jamming on Christmas Eve.
I felt a hand rest on my shoulder, massaging my tired muscles. I relaxed into it, grateful, until I looked down and saw the bright red nail polish with little white bows painted on the tips. I knew Dez’s were painted black because I’d sucked on one of her fingers last night. Just the thought of it had me hard again.
I groaned.
Standing up to face Rosalie, I ran a hand over my tired face. I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep the night before, and I was running on emotional fumes. “Hey, Rosalie—how did your conversation with Andrew go?” I asked, trying to remind her why we were here . . . and it wasn’t to flirt.
She wasn’t biting. She ran a hand up my arm, gazing at me from beneath hooded lashes. It was coy, and she knew what she was doing. “It was amazing, Mitch. Thank you for inviting me. I loved getting to talk to him. He is so smart, and so intuitive. He had a lot of questions about the other side and what happens after death. I kept it as
honest, but as lighthearted, as I could. He blew me away with his questions! And don’t get me started on Abigail. I spoke to her and her parents, too.”
“Thank you for doing that, Rosalie. I really appreciate it. Sounds like you have a knack for working with kids. Let me know if you ever want to volunteer at the center. We could always use the help.”
She squeezed my arm. “Would I get to work closer with you?” she purred, stepping forward until our bodies were practically touching.
“Rosalie,” I hedged, trying to find a graceful way out of this mess.
“Look, Mitch, I’m not gonna lie. I’m crazy attracted to you. I’d love to work more closely with you on anything you want.”
“Rosalie,” I said again, trying to back up, but she had me pressed against the window, “look, I appreciate the thought, but—”
“Please do not even say this has anything to do with my age,” she groaned. “I think older men are sexy, Mitch. I think you’re sexy. And I want to get to know you a whole lot better,” she whispered, leaning in.
I put my hand on her arm to maneuver her back so I had room to breath. And think.
She took this as encouragement and stepped up on her tiptoes, brushing her lips against mine. The sound of a door banging drew my attention up, just in time to see Dez’s long, dark hair retreating down the hallway at a fast clip.
Just great.
I was tired of being nice. I needed to go talk to Dez so she didn’t get the wrong impression. I gently eased Rosalie back as I’d intended to do when I placed my hand on her arm. “Rosalie,” I said for the third time, “I’m really sorry. It’s not just my age that’s preventing me from pursuing you.”
“Oh,” she said, her face falling as she realized that age wasn’t a factor but I still didn’t want her. “Well don’t I feel stupid then.” She turned to leave.
“Rosalie, wait!” I said, turning her back to look at me. “Let me be honest with you, okay? If I were ten years younger and my heart wasn’t taken, I would chase after you in a heartbeat, okay? That’s the truth. But . . .” I searched for the right words.
I went with honesty. “I’m in love with someone else. And I need to go find her and tell her.”
“It’s Dez, isn’t it?” she asked, a little crestfallen.
I beamed. I couldn’t help it.
“Go get her, then. Tell Celeste and Egan I said Merry Christmas too.”
“Thanks, Rosalie,” I said, backing out of the room. “I really appreciate it. And I meant what I said.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said, laughing.
“Hey, as a matter of fact, I have someone I want to introduce you to. Someone a little older whom I think you’ll really hit it off with. And . . . he’s a doctor!”
She laughed. “Give me time to lick my wounds. Then I’ll be asking for that introduction.”
I smiled. “Merry Christmas, Rosalie,” I said, running from the children’s floor of the hospital. I needed to check back in on Christiano and then go apologize to the only woman I’d ever truly loved. It happened so fast, and I’d fallen harder than I knew was possible. But Dez had stolen my heart. And there was nothing that would stop me from telling her. I just needed a little Christmas miracle.
After following up with Dr. Zampogna’s nurse about Ti’s status, I headed down the elevators to leave for the night. An older woman I didn’t recognize slid through the doors at the last minute, joining me for the ride down.
“Hope you’re getting to go home,” she said. “Hospitals are no place to be on Christmas Eve.”
“I am,” I answered, shifting my weight from foot to foot. “Well, not home exactly, but where I need to be.”
“Hmm, that sounds promising.” She clasped her hands together in front of her, and I noticed she had a long row of wooden beads hanging from her fist. I watched as she rolled one bead after another.
“What are those?” I asked. It wasn’t usually my style to ask random strangers questions, but I was curious. She looked peaceful as she ran the beads back and forth through her aged hands.
“These? These are my prayer beads. I needed a Christmas miracle, and I just got one tonight with my grandson Andrew.”
“Andrew Miller?” I asked as we got off the elevator on the bottom floor.
“Why, yes! You know him?”
“I do. We just visited him this afternoon. A friend of mine spoke to him for quite some time.”
“Ah, yes. That must be Rosalie. She was our Christmas miracle.”
“She was?” I asked, not sure what the old lady meant.
“Yes. You see, she spoke to my Charlie on the other side. He’s been dead for over three years now, but he and Andrew had a really close connection. Andrew always told me he talked to his grandfather, but we never believed him. Today, Rosalie talked to Charlie too. Told me things no one else but Charlie could know. Made a believer out of me.”
I watched the woman’s face as her eyes grew moist. I rested my hand on her shoulder in comfort. “That’s wonderful. Rosalie is a very special woman, and she’s the real deal. It’s why I asked her to talk to Andrew. I knew he was struggling to accept his diagnosis and thought maybe Rosalie could offer him some perspective and comfort. I don’t want him to be scared when he gets closer.”
Andrew’s grandmother looked up at me with happy eyes. I was confused since we were talking about her grandson’s passing. “That’s just the thing,” she whispered, pulling me aside. “It’s not his time. Months ago, Andrew told us he had a vision and that he believed he still had work left to do, but we didn’t believe him. I think we need to start listening to the boy a little bit more.”
“What changed your mind then, if I may ask?”
“Rosalie,” the woman said. “She confirmed with Charlie that it wasn’t Andrew’s time to go. He’s being released today to come home for Christmas. That’s all the proof I needed.”
I swallowed, thinking about my own lack of faith these past few years and concerned whether Rosalie did the right thing or if she was giving the family false hope. “Is it really that easy? To accept a feeling and believe it so wholeheartedly?” I knew I loved Dez, but I was still so uncertain about what that meant for either of us. I was scared and confused about what to do with Christiano. How could I have faith when I had no proof that something greater even existed?
“What’s your name, young man?” the woman asked, looking up at me.
I chuckled. “Newman,” I said, not sure why I didn’t give her my real name.
“Well, Newman—” She took a deep breath and looked around as if making sure no one could hear. “I never believed until I met my husband. There was something about him that infuriated me and tickled me all at once.” Her eyes brightened as she spoke of him. “I knew the minute I ran into him that he was the one.”
“What do you mean you ran into him?” I asked, hanging onto her every word.
“We were at a farmer’s market, you see. Keep in mind this was fifty years ago. It was a slower pace then, and the markets were like festivals. Full of energy and excitement. We all came out from our farms to pick up fresh produce and livestock. Maybe get a glimpse at a boy or two from town,” she said, winking.
“So, how did you meet him?” I asked, intrigued.
“We literally ran right into one another!” She laughed at the memory. “I was carrying a big bushel of flowers for my mum and couldn’t see a darn thing. He came barreling around the corner with a pumpkin bigger than his head. We slammed right into each other, almost knocking me out with that big gourd of his.”
My heart hitched, remembering my own run-ins with Dez. I grinned. “I met the woman of my dreams in a similar fashion,” I said, laughing.
She nodded her head as if suspecting that were the case, though she couldn’t possibly know. “Well, when you look at her, do you feel hopeful? Do you feel like you can’t live without her?”
I thought about Dez, her face swimming before me. Her bright blue eyes when they crinkled with laughter
. How she had unabashedly kissed my scars and traced them with love on her fingertips. The heat in her body as she pressed against me in the cabin. The way she helped the kids at the youth center glue small sequins onto their Christmas ornaments. Maybe my faith was in all of those things. The things I couldn’t see, but that my heart sure as hell felt. “You’re right!” I said, excited to get back to Tranquility and fix this mess.
“I usually am,” she said, laughing. “That’s what my husband always used to say.” She grabbed my hand then, pressing the prayer beads into my palm. “Here, I think it’s time to pass these along.”
“I—I couldn’t,” I said, looking down at the delicate wooden beads.
“Yes, you can. And you will. You remind me a lot of my late husband. I think he’d be rooting for you and this mystery woman. He was a sucker for true love.”
True love. The words pierced me. Was this feeling for Dez true love?
I rolled the beads around in my hands, closing my eyes. I lifted a quick, silent prayer and asked God to show me my path. If Dez was my path, I just needed a sign.
“Thank you,” I said to the woman. “I don’t know how I can repay you.”
“Your friend Rosalie already has. Consider this us paying it forward.”
“That’s kind of you, Mrs.—I’m sorry. I never caught your name.”
She patted my arm. “That’s okay. We both had a lot on our minds tonight, didn’t we? It’s Jeraldine. My friends call me Jerry.”
Jerry. Dez.
I leaned down and hugged the older woman, already mindlessly working my fingers over the beads she’d just given me.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I think I just found my proof.”
DESPITE MY ANGER at seeing Rosalie all tangled up in Mitch’s arms, I had work to do. Celeste and Egan were being released later, and I wanted to stock their fridge. I called a cab from the hospital and headed to the market, and all it did was remind me of the first time I’d run into Mitch. I swung by the floral department and picked up a huge bouquet of pink snapdragons. They’d welcome baby Dylan home from the hospital, and I remembered them peeking out gayly from Mitch’s bouquet the day we met.