CHAPTER XIV.
As is frequently the case in histories strides have to be taken, andbridges have to be made over the river of time, so that we may walk overin ease and comfort from one age to another.
At the time of which we now wish to speak, the Starboard watch was incharge of the old Ship of State. The captain of this watch was oneWilliam Dogvane, a celebrated sailor, and as shifty a salt--so it wassaid--as ever trod a plank. His first lieutenant was one Harty, as finea sailor as ever chewed a quid, or drank a tot of grog. A good hand allround and a thorough gentleman. Then there were the other officers andpetty officers, of whom it is not necessary to make particular mention.Strange as it may appear, some of the foremost hands will play aconspicuous part in this history. To begin with, there was Pepper, thecook of the Starboard watch, a great admirer, and supporter, of CaptainDogvane's. Then there was Billy Cheeks, the burly butcher, Joseph Chipsthe carpenter, and Charlie Chisel his mate, all of the same watch.Pepper was a merry clever little fellow, full of quips, jeers, andjokes, but like most cooks he was a bit uncertain in his temper. Put himout, and stand clear, or you would have a bucket of water over you,either hot or cold, dirty or clean, just whichever happened to benearest, before you knew where you were, and from his language, astranger might infer that he had taken high honours at the university ofBillingsgate. He was a great admirer of the Ojabberaways.
The cook had a keen eye for the failings of others, but he was a merryfellow with all, and excellent company, and though no one reallybelieved in him, all were ready enough to laugh, either with him, or athim. It is true that such people do not, as a rule, figure in history,but such things have been known. A dancer was once made prefect ofRome. Besides your cook is no ordinary individual, for indirectly herules the universe. He is the foundation of peace and happiness, and thecause often of strife, sorrow, and great suffering. A bloody war evenmay be indirectly the consequence of the indiscretion, carelessness, orwant of skill on the part of some cook who has to prepare the food forsome kingly stomach. A little too much of one thing, or a littleskimpiness in another, brings on a fit of indigestion, accompanied bymental irritation, and general loss of temper. Ministers are abused, andhave to bow their heads before the fury of the royal anger. The bearingof some rival potentate assumes an altogether offensive aspect. Headsare cut off; the prison opens its gates, and many poor subjects arethrust in to contemplate in silence the fickleness of fortune, or theirown sins. Wars are declared. Battalions are ranged against battalions,and human blood flows like water, and all this commotion springs, maybe, from the kitchen, where the cook sits calmly; bakes, stews, andfries as if nothing had happened.
Most assuredly the cook holds a most responsible position in the world,and it is not too much to say that the safety, honour, welfare, andintegrity, yes, and even the happiness and intelligence of a people,depend in a great measure upon the head of the kitchen. The cook should,therefore, take his place amongst the high ministers of every state, forit is in his power to do far more good, and to give far greater pleasureto the many, than your prating philanthropist, who with meddling andmuddling manners, large heart, but, generally speaking, small head,tries his best to make paupers of a people, and do harm generally. Yourcook is the prime minister to the greatest potentate in the whole world,namely, king stomach, and therefore your cook, if he be a wise, skilful,and virtuous cook, should hold a high place in every community. My lordbishop do you cavil at my statement about his majesty, king stomach?Does he not dwell in the monastery? Does he not sit even at the priest'stable, and say to the company, eat, drink, and be merry? Does the priestmore than the layman turn his back upon the succulent oyster, thetruffled turkey, the barded quail, the plover's egg, which may havecost a shilling, though the honest tradesman only perhaps gave a pennyfor the rook's egg, which he substitutes for it? Is the voice of ourmighty potentate never heard in the bishop's palace? The priest is but aman. True, but too often he looks upon himself as the Lord's anointedwho is to be approached with respect, and listened to with reverence,when from his throne, the pulpit, he preaches a self denial to others,that he does not find it convenient to practice himself.
As the Port watch were not on deck at the time of which we are speaking,it is not necessary to say much about the men that composed it, furtherthan to mention that Bob Mainstay was the captain, and a mostexperienced seaman, quite equal, many thought, to old Bill Dogvane, andvery much more certain, though he had not Bill's command of language.Indeed, few had, for Bill could spin a yarn many fathoms long. The firstlieutenant of the Port watch was Ben Backstay, a safe steady goingseaman, universally respected, and both he and his captain had had nofinishing touches put on by the university of Billingsgate, and inconsequence they were courteous gentlemen. The captain was perhaps alittle imperious and keen of speech. Then, of course, there were all theother officers and able seamen, and there was a merry, clever littlefellow, who though only a middy, must not be lost sight of: for he wasdestined to rise step by step, and even jumps to a high position in theold Ship of State. And he will play no mean part in our present history.Random Jack as he was called, delighted annoying old Dogvane, in fact,he buzzed about the whole of the Starboard watch like a mosquito, andwas the merriest, and most cheery little devil that ever put on asailor's jacket. People at first laughed and jeered at the middy, but hecared not. Only those laugh in the end who win, and he was contented tobide his time, and through fair weather and foul, in ups and downs, henever lost confidence in himself, and herein lies the mainspring ofgreatness and very much of the world's success.
It has been shown that the old fighting instinct of the Buccaneer waspresent amongst all his children, and that it was not absent even onboard of the Church Hulk. No wonder then that it showed itself to amarked degree amongst his ship's crew, which, however, had not as yetadvanced so far as to run an opponent through with three feet of coldsteel or plug him with an ounce of lead, like some of his neighbours;nor was his ship's deck strewn about with spittoons, like, it was said,Jonathan's at one time was. In a matter of expectoration Jonathan wasgreat. A spittoon, if properly aimed at the head of an antagonist,political or otherwise, might bring a debate to a speedy, and perhaps asatisfactory conclusion.
Though Captain William Dogvane swore he was essentially a man of peace,his life proved him to be a man of war, and he displayed a marvellousaptitude for getting into rows and then swearing that they were none ofhis making. Then if he found that he was getting the worst of a fight hewould at once give in; own himself in the wrong, and apologize allround, and sometimes tread on peoples' toes in doing so, andconsequently getting more abuse than thanks for his disinterestedness.Dogvane said it was a noble and magnanimous thing to own oneself in thewrong, and so save bloodshed; but his enemies said it was generally duesolely to cowardice, and they had some reason for saying this, as far asDogvane was concerned, for he never owned himself wrong until he hadbeen two or three times beaten in the open, and then the enormity of theaction--not the beating--became apparent to him. This shifty old saltwould at once ware ship, and put all the blame for everything upon theother watch, the members of which, if they only did a half of what oldDogvane accredited them with, deserved to be hanged, drawn, andquartered. This skilled old sailor could sail on any tack and before anywind. In his lifetime he had been many things and had served in bothwatches; but there was nothing out of the way in this, as it was nounusual thing for a man to commence in the Starboard watch and finish upin the Port, and the reverse. Then old Dogvane could do almost anything.There was nothing too great for him to tackle. He could talk for hoursupon the Mosaic Cosmogony. Science would try to knock him over withfacts; but Dogvane would, to his own entire satisfaction, prove thatscience was altogether wrong. He would discuss religion, philosophy,ethics, in fact, anything, with any past master in the craft, and he hadthe quality, said to be peculiar to the race from which he sprang, ofnever knowing when he was beaten.
The Ojabberaways who served on board the old Ship of State were for themo
st part in the Starboard watch, and if by any chance they changed overto the other side to serve their purpose, the alliance was never of longduration nor was it altogether of an honourable kind.
The Life of a Celebrated Buccaneer Page 14