by Em Petrova
She must be sleeping. She’ll answer.
If she wasn’t tossing and turning like him, then maybe she was okay with their situation. She wasn’t lying awake thinking of him.
He flipped again, and his bed groaned. He was going to have to tighten the springs—they were loud enough to wake the whole house. At least he wasn’t still sharing a room with one of his brothers since Buck and Ryder had moved out.
As dawn spread behind his bedroom curtains, his hopes rose. Kashley would be awake soon and text him back.
He lay there an extra long time waiting for the tones of his phone. When he realized they were never coming, he hauled his ass out of bed and began his lonely day.
When he went into the kitchen, only his ma remained. The others would be long gone into the fields, and Wynonna was probably still in bed, always the last to rouse.
“Your knee’s still bothering you,” his mother observed.
He grew painfully aware that his boot had scuffed the floor when he walked, because he wasn’t bending his leg fully. “Yeah, I’ll ice it as soon as I get in from checking cattle.” He poured himself coffee and burned his mouth on the first sip.
“When are you going to stop pretending you don’t need to seek medical attention for it?” his mother asked.
He pushed out a sigh and swished his scalded tongue around inside his mouth to soothe it. If one of his siblings had asked the same question, he’d have snide comebacks for any of them, but respect was ingrained in him by both of his parents. If he’d sassed his mother, his pa would have given him two swats and put him on manure duty for a week.
He dipped his head in a semi-nod. “I’ll get around to it.”
“Just like you’ll get around to making up with Kashley?”
He opened his mouth but he had no words. What could he say? I fucked things up. I let her think she was just a fling when really I was falling for her. Dammit, I love her and she won’t even speak to me—
His hand had gone lax and he dribbled hot coffee down his thigh and onto the toe of his boot. He ignored it because all he could focus on was the words his mind had spewed out.
I love her.
His mother stared at him. “Have you scalded your brain, Ridge?”
“Yeah, I think I have.” He set the cup down before he did more damage to himself and leaned in to kiss his mother’s cheek. She patted his head and went back to reading her newspaper as he went outside.
The day held that dreary quality that often came with dawn. A regular Oklahoma summer day, drenched with sweat before you got the horses watered. But he hardly gave a thought to anything but Kashley.
He mounted his horse and caught up to his brothers a few hundred yards short of the border of their property that touched the Crosses’. He couldn’t help but throw a glance at their land and wonder if Kashley had received his text.
“You’re late,” West said to him.
He loosened his grip on the reins and gave his horse some room to dance around the other horses. Wynonna had checked Fury out weeks ago and pronounced him fine. He didn’t seem to be favoring his leg at all anymore.
“Didn’t sleep well,” he muttered.
“Yeah, I heard the bed squeaking and you slappin’ your—”
Ridge swung at him. “Shut up. We aren’t fourteen anymore.”
“You’re acting like it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He narrowed his eyes at his brother. He and West rarely argued, and they often worked together on difficult tasks because of it. But today he’d like to see his brother’s ass hitting the dirt.
His other brothers watched the exchange and a few cameramen skilled with horses were filming. They were careful to avoid Ridge, though. He was relieved not to have his emotions splashed all over the world again.
His horse turned suddenly, and he gripped its sides with his knees, shooting pain through his kneecap. He bit back a groan, ready for battle with West or anyone else who wanted to run his gums.
“This is your one and only chance to say what you want to me. All of you.” He skidded his gaze from brother to brother. Only Buck looked sorry for him.
“For months you were fighting because of Anna. Then you dropped the despairing dumped cowboy act and messed around with Kashley’s emotions.” West’s tone was unapologetic.
“You sound like you care a little too much about Kashley’s feelings.” They’d ridden home together. What if she was texting West now instead of him?
West compressed his lips and shook his head. “Dude, you’ve got some serious issues if you think I’d ever dream about a woman who’s in love with you like Kashley is.”
His heart dropped and rocketed back up to choke off his air.
“You did wrong by her,” Ryder said quietly.
Ridge pushed out a breath through his nostrils but didn’t speak. He let them give it to him like he’d asked.
“You took her to bed knowing you weren’t over Anna yet. She didn’t deserve to be the victim of your rebound,” Lane added.
So they were all on Kashley’s side. That was good, except they knew jack shit about his side. But he wasn’t about to tell them.
“You’re off the show, which means you’re not being paid. And you aren’t winning money riding broncs if you don’t get that knee fixed,” Buck said.
“Don’t worry—I’ll pay my way here on the ranch.”
“Old tractor’s acting up again. We need a new one. That’s gonna cost money you don’t have to add to the pot.”
He spoke around his clenched jaw. “I said I’ll have the money.”
“Ethan says you can come back to the show if you prove you can act human in the upcoming months.” Buck maneuvered his horse a few feet from Lane’s.
“Ethan can go fuck himself. I don’t know how you guys are still civil to that man after what he did to Wynonna.”
A smile slithered across West’s face. “Oh we’re just biding our time, brother. You’d know this if your head was actually on anything but yourself.”
That was all the abuse he could take. It might all be true, but he was finished listening to them. He set his heels into his horse’s sides and took off toward the herd. His brothers soon joined him but not another word was spoken about his shortcomings.
It was high time to get out of his funk and fix things in his life. He had to treat his family better, put in his fair share on the ranch. While he liked being kicked off the Rope ‘n Ride show, he knew the ratings would be higher if all the Calhouns were featured.
And he had to figure out how to make it up to Kashley. Maybe blurting out that he was in love with her wasn’t the best idea. She deserved something better—a man who could get down and beg for her forgiveness.
Dammit. He’d better fix his knee.
Chapter 10
“Ridge.”
He looked up from the fence he was fixing. That afternoon nine steers had decided to rampage through the wire, resulting in a call to the vet to stitch up cut legs and Ridge out here in the baking sun with gloves and a roll of wire.
Sweat ran into his eye, and he squinted around it. “What’s up?” he asked West.
“Tractor’s down again.”
“I’ll get to it.”
“Better get to it sooner rather than later. Storm’s coming up and the old girl’s dead out in the field.”
“Shit.” He straightened, favoring his knee. It felt a lot better since the doctor had drained it. He’d also started physical therapy to keep himself from going under the knife. It meant he was out of the running for this season’s bronc champion, but it would be worth it in the long run.
Too bad he couldn’t get some physical therapy for his heart, though. He was still tied up in knots when it came to Kashley.
“Here, let me take over.” West removed the wire cutters from his hand, and Ridge gave a nod to him and then Nigel, the camera guy trailing him.
“The network big-wigs are fighting for you being reinstated to the show, Ridge,” h
e said. “It’ll be good to have you back once that’s all worked out.”
Yeah, he’d heard about it. He was still up in the air whether or not being on the show again was a good thing. But a month off had given him a lot of perspective, and he felt if the opportunity arose, he’d be more responsible.
He thumbed his hat to Nigel in thanks and headed across the field to the toolshed. There he gathered a toolbox and found the tractor abandoned on the edge of their land. Close to the Crosses’.
Deep longing pushed up inside him. What was Kashley doing lately? Was she working with horses still, fulfilling her dream?
Had she found a boyfriend?
The familiar protectiveness rose to the surface, and he tamped it down. She wasn’t his to fight for. He’d gotten his hands dirty enough after he’d ripping the phone out of Jake Rawlins’ hand and slammed his boot heel into it. Then he’d pinned Chip to the ground, located his phone and done the same.
He’d ended the entire scene by threatening to hunt them down if he learned those photos were still on a cloud space. He hadn’t heard a word since the breaking news had died down and figured he’d gotten his point across.
He reached the tractor and opened the hood. Messed with some wires and checked the carburetor. Ten minutes and a split knuckle later, the verdict was in.
The tractor was dead.
Of course he didn’t have his portion of the cash yet, so the only alternative was to fix it. It wasn’t a costly repair, but the part he believed needed replacing could only be reached by pulling the engine. And his brothers and sister were off to the rodeo in the morning. Ridge couldn’t do it himself.
He looked toward the Cross land again. When his dad was alive, he and Mr. Cross had done a lot of work on engines, usually with a few beers between them. Maybe he wouldn’t be against helping Ridge out.
And it puts me closer to Kashley. One step nearer making things right.
He started across the field.
* * * * *
Kashley approached the barn door, and her heart seized at the sound of voices. Not just voices—a voice.
Ridge.
Her hand flew to her mouth. What was he doing here?
She gulped back a noise bordering on a gasp of pleasure and leaned against the wall, listening.
“When were you thinking of pulling the engine?” her father asked.
“As soon as you wouldn’t mind offering the help. We need to finish some work and I’d like to keep it from sitting there rusting up.”
She stole a peek around the corner. The men stood in shadow, but she saw them well enough. Shafts of light painted squares on the worn barn floors, and dust swirled in the air.
And Ridge stole her breath away.
He wore a white T-shirt, smudged with grease on the side right over the place he was ticklish when she kissed it. Too well she imagined all those muscled swells. And his jeans… She resisted the urge to fan herself but her gaze kept darting back to his fly. With her around, it was always bulging.
She issued a slow sigh and tried to get her thoughts under control.
“I’ll have some time tomorrow afternoon, weather permitting,” her father said.
Ridge ducked his head. “’Preciate it. Is there anything I can help you with around here?”
Her father was still for a long minute, giving Ridge a piercing look. Butterflies hatched in Kashley’s stomach. Her parents were on her so often to go talk to Ridge that she knew her father had no reservations about speaking his mind.
“Son, your father isn’t here to give you a talkin’ to.”
Oh God, no. Should she step out and stop him?
Her boots had grown roots, though, and she wasn’t able to move a muscle.
Ridge was still too, his gaze fixed on her father.
“I’m going to try my best to stay neutral when you tell me why you haven’t come to claim my little girl. I want to hear your side.”
She took a hitching breath, and tears burned in the back of her eyes. Her father was forcing him to discuss something she didn’t want to hear. This was the part when her heart got stomped into smithereens and she knew that it really was a pipe dream, a dying hope of a young girl who’d come to love as a woman loves a man.
Ridge pressed his lips together and shifted a little, right foot to left. She could see he still favored one knee and it was thicker under his jeans, probably from a brace. But it was holding him.
When he removed his hat and bowed his head, her heart gave a surge. He really was the best of men, despite his craziness of the past few months. She knew Ridge—he’d make someone the best husband ever someday.
He turned his hat around and around in his hands as he bowed his head. “Things got a little out of kilter with me and Kashley, sir.”
“I gathered that much.”
“I…wasn’t in the best headspace when she came into the picture. She was fabulous, though. She was there for all the shit I dished out and… Well she withstood a lot to be there for me.”
A tear broke free and trailed down her face. She didn’t bother swiping it away but remained still, straining to hear Ridge’s words, which had grown softer.
Her father didn’t speak, and Ridge went on, “I wasn’t fair to her. I didn’t offer her anything in return, just took and took.”
She bit back a cry. Oh Ridge, that wasn’t true at all. You made me feel so alive and beautiful and desirable. You made me part of a big family.
“I can see it’s eating at you, Ridge.”
“Yessir,” he choked.
“But you don’t plan to fix that? Your pa never ran away from anything in his life.”
Ridge’s head snapped up. “I’m not runnin’. I tried to get in touch with her. Oh okay, it was a feeble attempt by texting her. And I have no excuse for that other than to say I’ve been getting my head on straight, sir.” He met her father’s stare head-on.
No backing down.
She must have made a movement, because her father looked directly at her. Panic was a wild bird in her chest, and she held up a hand to stop him from revealing her presence.
Her father swung back to Ridge and gave a hard nod. “I’ll be up to help with that tractor tomorrow.” With that, he walked out of the opposite barn door.
Ridge stood for a long moment, unmoving, hat in his hands.
Agony filled Kashley’s chest. Before she understood her body’s intentions, she was stepping into the barn with the man she loved.
* * * * *
He met her gaze, and his shoulders heaved as if he were drawing in a huge gasp. Or releasing it—he didn’t know which. “Kash.” His voice sounded like horseshoes rattling around in his throat.
She visibly shook as she stepped closer. “Hi, Ridge.”
Fuck, she was gorgeous, standing in the beam of sunlight, her eyes glowing up at him and her thick hair waving around her shoulders. She sank her teeth into her plump lower lip, and he was instantly hard.
Aching for her.
He set his hat back on his head to keep from crushing it between his hands. “Did you hear everything I said?”
She nodded.
“I was an ass, treating you like a toy. I know I hurt you, and I have no excuse for my behavior.”
“I wasn’t asking for more, Ridge. But over time, I realized I couldn’t put aside my feelings for you anymore. I deserve more.”
He felt his Adam’s apple move up and down his throat, sharp as glass. Yes, she did deserve everything a man had to offer, and he’d only given her a few orgasms and some grief.
He spread his hands. “I’m sorry.”
She took a hasty step his direction and pulled up short. He noticed the tear track on her cheek, and his heart rolled over.
“Dammit, I made you cry.” He reached for her. Caught her wrists and brought her hands to his face, one at a time, and kissed her palms. A tiny rasp left her, and she quivered in his hold. Then he met her gaze and love bloomed inside him. He had to make her understand how important
she was to him. It was time.
Slowly, he bent over her. She smelled of coconut and ocean breezes. He dragged in a deep breath. Couldn’t get enough.
He kissed her. A soft brushing of lips, lingering over her taste and the little moan that escaped her.
He gathered her close and she snapped her arms around his neck. Passion bubbled up and flowed over.
“I’m so fucking in love with you, Kashley.”
His words brought a cry from her. She curled into his hold and parted her lips under his. “I’ve loved you forever. But more now.”
“I’m sorry I was an ass.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Cradling the back of her head, he drew her in, plunged his tongue into her mouth and devoured her. She gave back stroke for stroke, shimmying restlessly against his erection. When his balls were clenched tight enough to blow, he lifted her against him. She hitched her thighs around his waist and he spun her to the wall.
Planting her firmly against it, he said, “I hope your pa doesn’t come back and find me fucking his daughter.”
“He’ll stay away and he’ll be glad I’m done moping.”
He searched her gaze as he groped her breasts. Her nipples hardened into tight buds, dizzying him with the need to suck them. Groaning, he dipped his mouth to her ear and sucked the lobe. “Were you moping?”
“You have no idea, Ridge.”
He drew back again to stare deep into her eyes. “I can’t stand that I’ve hurt you.”
“I always give do-overs. Remember that time I tried the trust game with you and you moved out of the way so I fell on the ground?”
“Ugh. That’s only because West pulled me away. I would have caught you, Kash.”
Her eyes glowed as she said, “I know. That’s why I let you try again.”
They surged together in a long, deep kiss. Her hands played over his shoulders, shooting chills down his spine. His cock thickened even more, and he couldn’t wait another minute to claim her.
“I need you.”
“Last stall,” she whimpered as he closed his fingers over her nipple. “Clean.”
He pushed away from the wall, and carrying her a few steps, they landed in the stall together. He took a second to toss down a clean horse blanket and they fell on the fresh pile of hay.