by Emma Louise
Letting his hands slip down my arms, Asa takes ahold of my hands and leads me over to the sofa, sinking down onto the seat, and pulling me with him. He arranges me so I’m tucked in tightly against his side.
I don’t say anything. My mind is too busy trying to process everything that’s been said.
“Say something,” he commands softly, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, then letting his fingers trail down to my jaw.
“I feel stupid. You don’t owe me an explanation, but when I saw her there today. I felt...”
“Jealous?” he finishes for me. There’s no judgment in his voice, just calm acceptance.
Was it jealousy? I’ve been envious of people in the past, but it’s never felt like that. Like I was being crushed by the mere thought of Asa and her together.
“I guess so.” I concede.
Tightening his grip on my jaw, he stares into my eyes. “You have nothing to be jealous about. I promise you. You’re all I see.”
“Even after I just went a little psycho on you?” I ask, holding my breath and waiting for him to answer.
“Turns out I have a thing for the jealous type.” He shrugs a shoulder, giving me one of his gorgeous smiles, both dimples peeping out on his scruffy jaw.
“I am not the jealous type!” I laugh, relief filling me as some of the weight from the last few minutes is lifted from my shoulders.
“Well, whatever you are, you’re my type,” he says as he leans in and presses his lips to mine. It’s a gentle exploration. His lips trace mine softly. Back and forth. There’s no urgency as he takes his time. Top, bottom. He nips softly at my bottom lip, taking advantage when I gasp and let his tongue peek out to touch mine.
“You said I made you feel like things between us were changing?” he asks, slowly kissing along my jawline. I can’t form words yet, so I just nod. “Things haven’t changed. I just woke up and stopped fighting my feelings for you.” He presses his lips against mine in another soft caress.
“Fighting your feelings?” I somehow manage to force the words out through the fog his kisses leave me in.
“I’ve wanted you since that morning I woke up in your bed. I let my own stupidity stand in my way for a while.” He stares down at me as I stand in his arms, pressed against him. “You in this thing with me, sweet cheeks?” he asks as one hand comes up to cup my cheek tenderly.
“I’m in this with you, Asa.” My answer comes out as easily as my next breath. I want this. Even if I end up getting hurt, I have to try.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ASA
“You can answer that, you know,” Lucy’s sleep-muddled voice says, but she doesn’t lift her head from where it rests on my chest. I don’t answer, turning the damn phone off instead. It’s Saturday, the first full day off I’ve had in the two weeks off since Lucy and I became an ‘us’, and the last thing I want is calls from Ink disturbing us.
“Sorry it woke you up.”
“Don’t apologize. You asked me here for lunch, and I'm pretty sure I was asleep within five minutes of getting here,” she says on a yawn. I don’t think she even made it five minutes. I opened the door for her, watched her walk to the back deck where she kicked off her shoes, and climbed onto the daybed I have out there. She was asleep before her head touched the pillow. Putting away the food I picked up for us, I joined her. She didn’t even wake up when I slid my arm underneath and pulled her over my chest. This is where we’ve been for the last hour.
The last two weeks have been exhausting. Between all the hours I have put in at Ink, Lucy working full-time and how sick she still is, we haven't had a lot of time together. I’ve made sure to see her every single day, even if it’s just to deliver her some lunch and to steal a kiss. She’s been here for dinner one night, and last weekend we managed a whole two hours alone together before something came up at Ink and I had to leave.
In between there has been phone calls and text conversations, but nothing compares to actually being with her. I'll be damned if I let work interrupt us anymore than it already has.
“How long was I out?” she asks sleepily, tipping her head back to look up at me. I can’t wait any longer, so I drop down and kiss her lightly before answering.
“Only about an hour. You feeling okay?”
“Actually, yeah. I don’t want to jinx anything, but I've managed to not be sick for two whole days.” She grins up at me, two fingers held up. My chest spasms at how fucking cute she is. I could sit with her like this all day, and that’s not something I’ve ever really experienced with any other woman.
Her eyes are still sleepy, the soft depths fixed on me. Some of her hair has escaped from the messy bun she has it thrown up in, and I don’t stop myself from pushing it off her forehead. Any chance I can get, my hands are on her.
“You ready to eat?” I ask.
“I’m definitely hungry.” She grins as she rolls to press her body flush with mine. My cock twitches at the look in her eyes. Judging by the spark I see there, she’s hungry, but not for food.
Dropping my head to rest against hers, it’s a battle to contain the groan that wants to pass my lips. We’ve gotten pretty hot and heavy a few times over the last few weeks, but we haven't gone further than making out. There hasn't been time. As much as it pains me, I don’t want her to think that’s all I'm interested in with her.
“You need to stop it, sweet cheeks.”
“What if I don’t want to stop?” she breathes against my skin, and the loose grip I have on my desire begins to fray.
“Luce,” I groan as her lips crash against mine. She doesn’t hesitate to pull me closer, so I’m practically on top of her now. The urge to push her legs apart and bury myself there is almost unbearable. Her tongue presses against my lips, and I don’t hesitate to open for her. Taking control of the kiss, I devour her. She matches me lick for lick. My right hand grips her jaw, holding her at just the right position. My fingers trace a soft line down the exposed skin of her neck, over her collarbone, and faintly brushing over the hardness of her nipple which I can feel through her shirt.
“Fuck.”
“Asa!” We both gasp at the same time. She lifts her hips, grinding against my thigh like she’s in search of some much-needed relief.
“We’re not doing this out here.” I let out a ragged breath as I rip my mouth from hers. “The first time I have you again will be in my bed where I can keep you all day.” Her eyes light up at my words, and she scrambles to follow me off the daybed.
I’m too impatient to wait, so I reach down and scoop her into my arms. Lucy’s surprised giggle sounds throughout the quiet of my backyard.
Her hands slide into my hair at the nape of my neck, and she leans in to press feather-soft kisses on any part of me she can reach. My dick feels like it’s about to fucking explode under her touch. Just the thought of being inside her again has me on the fucking edge.
Kicking the door to my room open, I have to remind myself that she’s pregnant, and I can’t throw her on the bed and rip her clothes off like my body yearns to do. I have to be gentle with her now; she’s carrying precious cargo.
As soon as she’s on the bed, Lucy reaches out for me. Taking ahold of my hand, she pulls me down so my body rests on top of hers. Planting my elbows in the bed, I hold my weight off of her slightly. “You sure about this?” I ask, running my nose against the smooth skin of her jaw, the light vanilla scent invading my senses, feeling like I might combust if she changes her mind.
“I’m sure.” She tilts her head back, giving me more room as I let my tongue peek out to lick down her neck. The shiver that runs through her at the contact turns me the fuck on.
I make quick work of undressing her, running my hands up her thighs and lifting the dress, my fingers tracing her skin as I go.
“Asa. Please.” The desperation that leaks from her spurs me on, and I make quick work of getting her bra off too.
“Why are you still dressed?” Lucy asks once she’s down to just her panties.<
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“Shh,” I say quietly. “Let me get a look at you.”
“No.” She tries to cover herself with her hands, a faint blush breaking out over her creamy skin. “I don’t look like I did before,” she whines quietly, almost like she doesn’t really want me to hear the words.
Raking my eyes over every inch of her exposed skin, I can’t help but think she’s right. She doesn’t look the same. She’s softer. Her tits are bigger, spilling over her hands as she cups them. Leaning down, I let my nose trail over the silk of her skin.
She smells familiar. The same sweet flavor of her skin triggers memories and regrets. Memories of all the times before, when I was lucky enough to get my lips on her skin.
Regret that I fucked us up and missed out on having her like this all these months.
Regret that we’ll never get that time back.
Nudging her hands to the side, I circle her taut nipple before moving to suck it deeply into my mouth. Lucy’s hips fly up to meet mine, grinding against me. “I like these,” I tell her, letting her fall from my mouth.
“Asa...” she groans when all I do is drop a quick kiss on her other tit. Kissing my way down her body, I can’t get my hands on enough of her.
“I like all of this,” I whisper against her ribs. “But this?” I wait for her eyes to meet mine once again. “I love this,” I tell her when I get to her swollen belly. Letting my hands span the place where our baby is, I kiss her right below her belly button, letting my lips linger there a while. Looking up the length of her body, I see her eyes on me, watching my every move. “You’re beautiful,” I say softly, never dropping my stare from hers.
“Come here.” Her voice is gritty, like she’s holding back her emotions as she holds her hand out to me. Taking it, I let her pull me up so I’m back on top of her. “You’re still over-dressed.” She sighs as her hands roam under my shirt. Letting her have her moment, I allow her to get my shirt off. Her hands blaze a trail over my chest as she scrapes her nails down my abs, making her way to my jeans.
Her touch is too much, and I’m surprised it doesn’t scorch my skin with how much it burns me. I have to grab her wrists to stop her before my dick explodes in my jeans.
Climbing off the bed, I make quick work of unbuttoning my jeans, pushing them down my hips, and letting my tortured dick free. The sweet relief I feel doesn’t last. One look at Lucy spread out on my bed has me aching for her. I’m torn between taking my time and savoring her, or giving in to both our cravings and fucking her senseless.
The decision is made for me when Lucy reaches for my hand and pulls me onto the bed, her legs hooking around my waist. My dick practically weeps with joy when it meets the wet heat of her pussy.
“Don’t make me wait. Please, Asa,” she says against my lips. That’s all I need to hear. Reaching down, I give my dick a hard squeeze and pray to god that I last long enough to make this even a bit good for Lucy. I fear I might come before I even get inside of her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
LUCY
It’s early, the dim sunlight barely peeking around the edge of the blinds at the window. Most of the room is still shrouded in shadow. Not that there’s a lot to see. Asa takes minimal design seriously when it comes to the interior of his house, and the bedroom is no different with its clean, minimal furniture. Asa’s arm is under my pillow, my head rests against his bicep, and he’s curled protectively around my back. I lay there, revelling in the feel of the soft rise and fall of his chest. It’s quickly become one of my favorite things.
My eyes drift closed again, the heat of Asa behind me lulling me under. I’m exhausted because I got very little sleep last night, but I still can’t keep the smile off my face. Burrowing in a little deeper, just because I can, I feel hardness press into me. Arms tightening, Asa moves his head so it’s buried in the crook of my neck.
“That’s it.” His husky voice sounds beside my ear, the words tickling against my oversensitive skin. “You’re not allowed to leave this bed from now on. I want to wake up like this every day.” Every part of me, and I do mean every part of me, spasms at the thought of having this with him daily. I know he’s joking, but god, I want that.
“Mmm,” I hum, not trusting myself to use words right now.
“Give me your mouth, baby,” he breathes. I don’t waste any time before I'm turning around to face him, and his lips take mine in a bruising good morning kiss.
When he stripped me bare last night, it wasn't just my clothes he removed. He took my inhibitions too. I was terrified that he wouldn’t like what he saw as I laid there exposed to him. My body has changed so much, is still changing, since the last time we were together that I was sure he would've been turned off by me. But I think the opposite was true. The way he took the time to reassure me, to show how much he liked everything he saw, how he made me feel nothing short of beautiful.
“Please tell me you don’t have plans today,” Asa says once he tears his mouth from away mine.
“The only thing on my to-do list today is you.” His handsome face breaks out into a glorious smile.
“Good answer, sweet cheeks.” A shriek of laughter flies from me as he gently tackles me to the mattress, and that laughter soon turns into moans of pleasure.
***
“Here, put this on for now,” Asa says, handing me a shirt to wear once I’m dried off from the shower we just took.
“I can get dressed, you know. My clothes from last night will do for the car ride home.”
“Well, you’re not leaving, so it doesn’t matter if they’d do or not,” he tells me as I slip the soft cotton over my head.
“I’m not?”
“Nope. I have plans for us.”
“Plans that involve me not wearing my own clothes?” I ask, liking the sound of that very much. Now that the seal has been broken, my libido has come roaring to life.
Asa’s starving eyes run up the length of my bare legs, and everything south of my waist spasms as he bites down on his full bottom lip. He’s wearing gray sweats and has his shirt slung over his shoulder as he runs a towel over his wet hair.
He stalks toward me, but he doesn’t get far before the sound of the doorbell ringing interrupts his pace. “Sorry, sweet cheeks.” He leans in and plants a quick but still wet kiss on my parted lips. “Let me get rid of whoever that is, then I’ll feed you both.” One more quick peck to my lips, then he leans down and does the same to my belly. There go those butterflies in my belly again.
He’s gone before I can form a coherent response. Wrapping my wet hair in a fluffy towel, I spend a few minutes straightening out the rumpled bed sheets, giving Asa time to deal with whoever it is at the door. As I work, my mind keeps going back to how many times Asa reached for me throughout the night. My cheeks heat at the memories of the things he did to me. He more than lived up to my memories of our previous times together.
When I don’t hear any voices coming from downstairs, I assume Asa managed to get rid of whoever it was at the door. I make my way downstairs, the smell of coffee greeting me as I hit the last few steps. Making my way into the kitchen, I’m surprised to find it empty. I’ve been to Asa’s house a few times over the last few weeks, but all our time has been spent here in the kitchen, on the back deck and as of last night, Asa’s bedroom. I’m not entirely comfortable looking around for him in the rooms I haven’t seen yet.
Fixing myself a small cup of coffee, I slide open the huge glass door that leads to the backyard. The warm morning air immediately hits me. This is what I hate about living in my apartment, the lack of outdoor space. Asa’s space is so tranquil. He has neighbors, but none of them overlook this space. It’s like an oasis out here. It occurs to me how unlike him this place is, and I wonder why a single guy like Asa lives in a big old house like this? I’ve never asked, but there must be four or five bedrooms. Why would he buy a place like this?
It occurs to me then that I really don’t know Asa all that well. I wait for the realization to scare me. I’m no
t only starting something with this guy, but I’m tethering myself to him for life by having his baby.
Am I crazy for choosing to believe that we can make this work?
I was jaded before I met him, even more so after things went bad for us, but I want to believe him when he tells me he wants me.
Asa is putting himself out there, telling me he wants us to be together. I have to have hope that he’s telling me the truth. Otherwise, what’s the point? Until he lets me down, I’ll continue to have faith in what we have. I still have fears. There's no way I could be with a man like Asa, with everything that he is, and not have insecurities. Scott was half the man Asa is, and he still managed to damage me.
“Sweet cheeks!” I hear yelled from somewhere in the house. “Where are you?”
“On the back deck!” I yell back. I get a small thrill from the domesticity of the moment. What would it be like to start every day together?
“Hey, I was looking for you,” Asa says as he steps out the door. It takes a second for my mind to catch up with what I’m seeing. Asa has a baby balanced on his hip. Abel.
My brows scrunch in confusion at the sight. “Look who’s spending the morning with us.” He lifts Abel’s little hand and waves it at me. Abel kicks his little legs in excitement when he sees me. Chubby arms reach out for me to take him. Unable to resist his cute babbling, I put my coffee cup on the glass table and stand to take ahold of him.
“Hi.”
“Be careful!” I coo at the same time as Asa scolds me when I set Abel on my hip.
“It’s fine. You do know that pregnant women sometimes have more than one child? And sometimes, they have to pick things up, right?” I can tell by the smirk on his face that Asa is about to throw out a smartass comment, but a loud banging sound comes from the kitchen behind where we stand. “What was that?”
“Just my sister bringing Abel’s things in from the car.”
“Bree?” I gasp. “Your sister is here? Right now?” I look around, frantically trying to find somewhere to hide. I’m cornered. There’s no escaping it.