by Peter Handke
The room is small but mine. The stool is low but comfortable. The sentence is harsh but just. The rich man is rich but friendly. The poor man is poor but happy. The old man is old but sturdy. The star is famous but modest. The madman is mad but harmless. The criminal is scum but a human being nonetheless. The cripple is pitiable but also a human being. The stranger is different, but it doesn’t matter:
But the snow falls contentedly. The fly runs over the water but not excessively. The soldier crawls through the mud but pleasurably. The whip cracks on the back but aware of its limits. The fool runs into the trap but at peace with the world. The condemned man leaps into the air but judiciously. The factory gate squeaks but that passes away.
The ring is decorative as well as an object of value. The community is not only a burden but also a joy. War is indeed a misfortune, but sometimes inescapable. The future is obscure but it also belongs to the enterprising. Playing is not only a diversion, but is also a preparation for reality. Force is indeed a dubious method, but it can be useful. A harsh youth is indeed unjust, but it makes you hard. Hunger is bad indeed, but there are worse things. Whipping is reprehensible indeed, but one also has to see the positive side:
The sunflowers are not only abundant, but also summer and winter. The corners are glowing indeed, but for dying of thirst they are not only made to order but also spend a meditative old age observed by daylight. The better solutions are not only not worth striving for, but indeed cat right out of my hand, yet will also decisively and emphatically reject any and all interference.
The more lovingly the table has been laid, the more you love to come home. The greater the want of space, the more dangerous the thoughts. The more happily you work, the more quickly you find a way to yourself. The more self-assured you are, the easier it is for you to get ahead. The greater the mutual trust, the more bearable the living together. The more the hand perspires, the less sure of himself the man is. The cleaner the apartment, the cleaner the tenant. The farther south you go, the lazier the people:
The more wood on the roof, the more mildew in the bread oven. The more cities with cellars, the more machinations on the slag heaps. The brighter the clotheslines, the more suicides in the trade department. The more emphatic the demand for reason in the mountains, the more ingratiating the dog-eat-dog laws of free nature.
It goes without saying that a large vase stands on the floor, just as it goes without saying that a smaller vase stands on a stool, while it goes without saying that an even smaller vase stands on a chair, just as it goes without saying that an even smaller vase stands on the table, while it goes without saying that creepers stand even higher. It goes without saying that well-being is determined by achievement. It goes without saying that despair is out of place here:
It goes without saying that the flour sack strikes the rat dead. It goes without saying that hot bread lets children come prematurely into the world. It goes without saying that discarded matches introduce a demonstration of confidence.
You gain something new from each object. No one stands on the sidelines. Every day the sun rises. No one is irreplaceable. Every new building means peace. No one is an island. Every industrious person is liked everywhere. No one is allowed to shirk his task. Each new shoe hurts in the beginning. No one has the right to exploit another. Every courteous person is punctual. No one who has a high opinion of himself lets others do his work for him. Every sensible person will bear the whole situation in mind with every step he takes. No one points the finger at others. Every person deserves respect, even a cleaning woman.
Every split straw is a vote for the progressive forces. No country fair means security for all. Each dripping faucet is an example of a healthy life. No sensible arm is lifted for the burning department store. Every pneumatic-drill operator who comes upon a corpse corresponds to a rapid-firing mechanism that can deliver six thousand rounds per minute.
A cat is no getting on. A stone is not a completely satisfied need. A strawman is no body count. Running away is no equality of rights. To stretch a rope across the path is no permanent value. Poverty is no disgrace. War is not a game. A state is not a gangster organization. An apartment is no sanctuary. Work is no picnic. Freedom is no license. Silence is no excuse. A conversation is no interrogation.
The appendix bursts. The grenade bursts. If the appendix couldn’t burst, you couldn’t say: the grenade bursts.
The dog barks. The commander barks.
The water is rising. The fever is rising. If the water couldn’t rise, the fever couldn’t rise.
The avalanche roars. The angry man roars.
The angry man thunders. Thunder thunders. Without the angry man, thunder couldn’t thunder.
The flags flutter. The eyelids flutter.
The balloon swells. The jubilation swells. Without the balloon, the jubilation couldn’t swell.
The laughing man gurgles. The swamp gurgles.
The nervous nelly jerks. The hanged man jerks. If it weren’t for the nervous nelly, the hanged man couldn’t jerk.
The firewood cracks. The bones crack.
The blood screams to high heaven. The injustice screams to high heaven. Without the blood, injustice could not scream to high heaven.
The door springs open. The skin springs open. The match bums. The slap burns. The grass trembles. The fearful girl trembles. The slap in the face smacks. The body smacks. The tongue licks. The flame licks. The saw screeches. The torture victim screeches. The lark trills. The policeman trills. The blood stops. The breath stops.
It is not true that the conditions are as they are represented; on the contrary, it is true that the conditions are different from their representation.
It is untrue that the representation of the conditions is the only possible representation of the conditions: on the contrary, it is true that there exist other possibilities of the representation of the conditions. Kaspar speaks along with the prompters to the end of this sequence. It is untrue that the representation of the conditions is the only possible representation of the conditions: on the contrary, it is true that there exist other possibilities of the representation of the conditions. It does not correspond to the facts to represent the conditions at all; on the contrary, it corresponds to the facts not to represent them at all. That the conditions correspond to the facts is untrue.
You bend down; someone sees you you rise; you see yourself. You move yourself; someone reminds you; you set yourself down; you remember yourself. You are afraid of yourself; someone quiets you; someone explains you; you rush yourself; you explain yourself; you disquiet yourself:
I am quieting myself.
You were already making a fist.
I was still screaming.
You still took a deep breath.
I was already there.
The chair still stands in its place.
I was still standing.
Nothing has changed yet.
I was already awake.
The door is already shut tight.
I was already kicking.
Some were still sleeping.
I am whispering already.
One can still hear throbbing.
I still wasn’t hearing anything.
Some still won’t listen.
I am outside already.
Here and there someone is still moving.
I am still unbelieving.
Many are already placing their hands on the head.
I am already running.
Some are still breathing.
I am pulling in my head already.
Someone still objected.
I am already hearing.
A single person is still whispering.
I already understand.
Single shots are still being fired.
I know already.
you
went past
you
living weight
you
light and easy
you
within reach
nothing to look for
you
a better life
you
good laugh
you
master everything
you
will win everywhere
you
lowered the mother mortality
you
was leading
you
more and more comprehensively
you
free of
you
is peace and future
you
a relationship to the world
you
which moved things closer
you
peaceful purposes
you
constantly growing
you
in case of emergency to
you
only for protection
you
irresistibly
you
stretched myself
you
trampled
you
called
you
was and is
you
recognized me.
You know what you are saying. You say what you are thinking. You think like you feel. You feel what it depends on.
You know on what it depends. You know what you want. You can if you want to. You can if you only want to. You can if you must.
You only want what everyone wants. You want because you feel pressed. You feel you can do it. You must because you can.
Say what you think. You can’t say except what you think. You can’t say anything except what you are also thinking. Say what you think. When you want to say what you don’t think you must begin to think it that very moment. Say what you think. You can begin to speak. You must begin to speak. When you begin to speak you will begin to think what you speak even when you want to think something different. Say what you think. Say what you don’t think. When you have begun to speak you will think what you are saying. You think what you are saying, that means you can think what you are saying, that means it is good that you think what you are saying, that means you ought to chink what you are saying, that means, on the one hand, that you may think what you are saying, and on the other hand, that you must think what you are saying, because you are not allowed to think anything different from what you are saying. Think what you are saying:
When I am, I was. When I was, I am. When I am, I will be. When I will be, I was. Although I was, I will be. Although I will be, I am. As often as I am, I have been. As often as I have been, I was. While I was, I have been. While I have been, I will be. Since I will be, I will have been. Since I have been, I am. Due to the fact that I am, I have been. Due to the fact that I have been, I was. Without having been, I was. Without having been, I will be. So that I will be, I have been. So that I will have been, I have been. Before I was, I was. Before I had become, I am. I am so that I will have become. I will have become so that I was. I was as soon as I will have become. I will have become as soon as I will be. I will be while I will have become. I will have become while I had become. I became because I will have become. I will have become because I became. I became because I will have become. I will have become because I am.
I am the one I am.
I am the one I am.
I am the one I am.
Kaspar stops rocking.
Why are there so many black worms flying about?
The stage becomes black.
XXVIII
As it grows light again after several moments of quiet, the prompters speak once more: You have model sentences with which you can get through life: by applying these models to your sentences, you can impose order on everything that appears chaotic: you can declare it ordered: every object can be what you designate it to be: if you see the object differently from the way you speak of it, you must be mistaken: you must say to yourself that you are mistaken and you will see the object: if you don’t want to say that to yourself, then it is obvious that you want to be forced, and thus do want to say it in the end.
It has now become very bright. Kaspar is quiet.
XXIX
You can learn and make yourself useful. Even if there are no limits: you can draw them. You can perceive: notice: become aware in all innocence: every object becomes a valuable. You can develop in an orderly fashion.
It becomes even brighter. Kaspar is even quieter.
XXX
You can quiet yourself with sentences: you can be nice and quiet.
It is very bright. Kaspar is very quiet.
XXXI
You’ve been cracked open.
XXXII
The stage becomes dark suddenly. After a moment: You become sensitive to dirt.
XXXIII
It becomes bright, but not very. Kaspar is sitting in the rocking chair. A second Kaspar with the same kind of face-like mask, the same costume, comes on stage from the wings. He enters, sweeping with a broom. He quickly cleans the stage, each movement being made distinctly visible, for example, by the spot. In passing he gives the closet door a shove, but it won’t stay shut. He cleans carefully under the sofa. He sweeps the dirt into a pile at the edge on the side of the stage. He walks across the stage to fetch the shovel. He walks back to the pile of dirt and sweeps the dirt onto the shovel. He does not succeed in sweeping the dirt onto the shovel with a single swipe of the broom, nor quite with the second swipe. By zigzagging backwards across the stage, between objects, without however bothering the first Kaspar, he continues to try to sweep the rest of the dirt onto the shovel. He sweeps and sweeps until he disappears backstage. At that moment the stage darkens.
XXXIV
After a moment: Become aware that you are moving.
XXXV
It becomes bright. A third Kaspar appears on stage from the wings, accompanying a fourth Kaspar, who walks on crutches, dragging his legs, moving very very slowly, almost imperceptibly. The third Kaspar repeatedly increases his pace somewhat, but each time has to wait for the fourth Kaspar to catch up with him. That takes time. They walk across stage front, Kaspar 3 nearer to the audience than Kaspar 4. Kaspar 3 to some extent adopts the gait of Kaspar 4, but in part retains his own manner of walking and therefore still has to wait for Kaspar 4 to catch up with him. So both are lurching, as they say, almost “unbearably” slowly across the stage, past Kaspar 1. When they have finally gone, the stage darkens instantly.
XXXVI
After a moment: What you can’t deal with, you can play with.
XXXVII
It becomes bright. Two further Kaspars come toward each other across the stage from different directions. They want to get past each other. Both step aside in the same direction, and bump into each other. They step aside in the other direction, and bump into each other again. They repeat the attempt in the first direction, and almost bump into each other. What looked awkward and unnatural at first gradually assumes a rhythm. The movements become more rapid and also more regular. The two Kaspars no longer walk into each other. Finally they move only the upper part of their body, then only their heads jerk, and finally they stand still. The next moment they make a wide, elegant curve around each other and walk off stage to the left and right. During these attempts at circumnavigation, Kaspar 1 has tried to fold an unfolded road map. He does not succeed. Finally he begins playing with the map, as though it were an accordion, say. Suddenly the map lets itself be folded thus, and that is the moment when the other Kaspars leave the stage and it darkens.
XXXVIII
After a moment: To become aware that everything falls back into order of its own accord.
XXXIX
It becomes bright. Another Kaspar steps out of the wings. He steps in front of the sofa, on which there is a thick cushion. He pushes with one fist into the cushion and steps aside. The audience sees the cushion slowly regain its original shape. This can also be projected on the backdrop. With a final tiny jolt, the cushion regains its original form. The stage darkens
at once.
XL
After a moment: Movements.
XLI
Another Kaspar steps on stage. He has a ball in one hand. He places the ball on the floor and steps back. The ball rolls off. Kaspar 1 puts the ball where it was first. The ball rolls off. Kaspar holds his hand on the ball for a considerable period of time. He steps back. The ball rolls off. The stage darkens.
XLII
After a moment: Pains.
XLIII
It is still dark; the audience sees two matches being lit on stage. When it grows bright again, Kaspar 1 is sitting in the rocking chair, the other Kaspar on the sofa. Each is holding a burning match between his fingers. The flames touch the fingers. Neither Kaspar emits a sound. The stage darkens.
XLIV
After a moment: Sounds.
XLV
As it becomes bright, Kaspar 1 is alone on stage, standing by the large table. He takes the broad-necked bottle and pours a little water into the glass standing next to the bottle. The sound of pouring water is distinctly audible. He stops pouring. Quickly he pours the water from the glass back into the bottle. He takes the bottle and pours water slowly into the glass. The sound of pouring water is even more distinct. When the glass is full, the stage darkens.
XLVI
After a moment: A tone.
XLVII
When it becomes bright, even more quickly than before, another Kaspar is standing at the side ofthe stage while Kaspar l is standing by the table. He is holding a thick roll of paper which is held together by a rubber band. Slowly but surely he forces the rubber band off the roll. The band snaps off, a tone is heard. At once the stage darkens.
XLVIII
After a moment: A view.
XLIX
The audience hears a noise while the stage is still dark. When it becomes bright, Kaspar 1 is again alone on the stage, sitting by the table with the plastic fruit on it. He is holding a partially peeled apple in his hand. He continues peeling, the peel growing longer and longer, and stops peeling shortly before the apple has been completely peeled. He places the apple on top of the decorative fruit. The peel hangs way down. The stage darkens.