by Kris Bryant
“It’s like different schools. You know how you’re in elementary school now, and in a few years you’ll be in middle school? Well, I’m in the middle school of college.”
“Whoa. How many schools are there?” He looked so concerned.
“A lot. It depends on how much you need to learn. Like you’ll probably go to middle school and high school and college. You can go to special schools after that, like your mom studied business at a special school.”
“How long is it going to take?”
“About sixteen years.”
“Sixteen years!” He slapped his palm to his forehead and groaned.
“Yes, and you’ll do well and love it the entire time. Come on. We’ll grab McDonald’s, then head to school. What’s new and exciting there?”
“Nothing. Same stuff. A lot of kids got gaming systems. Do you know about Halo?”
“Yes, and you just be happy you have your gaming system. That’s not for you for a long time.” I understood Brook’s hesitancy, especially with online gaming. But I also understood technology and the importance of advancement. I loved playing online, but I was old enough to know the dangers. Noah was just getting started. “Grab your stuff and let’s go. There’s an Egg McMuffin with my name on it.”
“Do they have milk?”
“Of course. Come on. Let’s go.”
Noah wanted to eat inside, so I parked and watched him skip ahead of me and wait at the door. How had this kid never been to McDonald’s before? The menu proved to be too much for Noah, so I ordered for him. We took our time and hung out eating, talking, and sharing stories about our trip.
“Snowboarding was the best part,” he said.
“You’re pretty good at it. Like a natural.”
“Maybe I’ll be in the Olympics or X Games.”
That was another little secret we shared. I loved watching the extreme sports, and Noah had gotten hooked on them, too. It wasn’t on the banned list, but I wasn’t sure Brook would approve. “Maybe so. You’ll have to practice a lot. Finish your milk, little man, and let’s get to school.” I checked the time. We had thirty minutes to get there. That would still give him time with his friends.
I decided to go to Nana’s after I dropped Noah off, just so I could start sorting through her things. I didn’t want to give stuff away since she had a will, even though I knew she’d want the nursing home she visited to have her craft stuff and the church to have her clothes.
“See you later, Cassie.”
“Hey. When do you want me to pick you up?”
“After school. I missed you.”
My heart lodged in my throat as I blinked back tears. If he only knew how much I’d missed him, too. I nodded and waved because I was too emotional to talk.
Chapter Twenty-five
McDonald’s? Brook texted after Noah went to bed.
Busted. But really? The kid’s never been? He’s six.
He talked about it all night. During his bath and when I tucked him in.
I know I should have asked, but it was a moment of weakness. Forgive me? That was a little flirtier than I intended.
Okay, but keep the trips to a minimum. Now that we have gaming in our lives, I need to make sure he stays active and doesn’t build unhealthy habits.
Patrick keeps him healthy. And the school’s lunches are impressive.
Do you have a copy of the school menu?
I had lunch there a while back.
Oh.
I smiled. That was kind of a jealous-girlfriend response. I wanted to push back, but I didn’t want her to run away again. I missed her. I missed our intimacy. I wasn’t ready to give up, even though she gave me no encouragement.
Have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning. No McDonald’s.
My phone rang. Perfect timing.
“How are you holding up?” Lacy’s voice was a blessing. I was a bit disappointed that it wasn’t Brook, but happy to hear a familiar voice.
“I’m okay. I spent time at Nana’s today. It’s amazing how much stuff she had.”
“When’s the reading?”
“Tomorrow. Can you believe that?”
“Wow. Well, that’s actually good, because then you all can start moving and get her things to the right people and organizations.”
“I think Mom’s going to help me this week. She had a few things to finish today but has the rest of the week off.” I spread out the blanket on my couch and snuggled into its warmth.
“Cassie, I’m so proud of you. I know losing Nana was the worst thing, but I’m happy you made amends with your parents. And we both know Nana would be super happy, too.”
“I can’t cry any more. I’m out of tears. And if it wasn’t for Noah and Patrick, I probably wouldn’t have eaten today. I need to do a better job of taking care of myself.”
“Do you want some company?”
I knew I should have tried harder, but I was exhausted. “Thanks, but I’m just going to go to bed. I’m back at work this week, so my day starts at seven.”
“Let me know if you need anything.”
“Maybe I’ll stop by the Pearl tomorrow night, and you can feed me and keep me hydrated.” I felt like I’d lost five pounds over the last ten days, and my energy was waning. Today was the first day I’d eaten more than one meal in a single day since Nana died.
“You’re on, sister.”
I hung up, set the alarm, and fell asleep immediately.
* * *
“Excuse me, what?” I clearly didn’t understand what the lawyer was saying.
“It’s all yours, Cassandra. The house and everything inside, her life-insurance policy. She asked that a donation of ten thousand dollars be made to the Nature Conservancy, and she said you would know what to do with all her belongings.”
I put my head in my hands and sobbed. Not because she gave me everything, but because everything was final. I had nothing to cling to. I had to move on without her. She was my rock, my best friend, my strength.
“It’s okay, honey.” Again, my mom was comforting me when I should have been consoling her. Neither of my parents was surprised at the outcome. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out they already knew. Nana had written each of us a letter. Her lawyer passed them out, and I cried even harder. I couldn’t read mine. I tucked it into my jacket, thanked my father for his handkerchief, and stepped out of the office to keep myself from embarrassing the family.
One of the lawyers peeked out of the office. “Cassandra, before you leave, you’ll have to sign some papers.”
After another minute of normal breathing, I went back inside. My parents were discussing their own matters while I signed my name on all the pages flagged with red tabs. The lawyer handed me copies of everything, and twenty minutes later, I was in my car driving with no destination. It was a lot to process. The money would get me through school, even after the sizable donation to the Nature Conservancy. I smiled. Nana did that on purpose. She left me just enough to keep me out of debt, but not enough to make me irresponsible. She was frugal in life and in death.
“Hi, Mom.” I answered on the second ring.
“You holding up okay? I know that was hard.” She sounded tired.
“I am. How about you?”
“It’s been a tough couple of months, that’s for sure,” she said.
“I’m sorry I caused so much grief for everyone.” It seemed so petty now. I was willing to walk away from everything. Now I’d give anything to have all that time back.
“Baby, it’s just a part of growing up. Did Nana ever tell you about the time I ran away?”
I laughed. “You? You legit ran away from home?”
“I was seventeen and wanted to go to a concert, and Nana didn’t want me to. It wasn’t really the band she was against. It was the guy I was dating. He was older and nothing but trouble, but I wouldn’t listen to reason. She told me no, so I packed a bag and left for five days.”
“Nana didn’t hunt you down and drag you ba
ck? That amazes me.” I pictured her banging on doors and cursing everyone until she found my mom.
“Oh, no. After four days, I was done living in my car. I was desperate for a shower, and I just wanted my simple life back. I walked into the kitchen like I was never gone. Mom fixed me a sandwich and told me the next time, she’d change the locks.”
“She definitely was sassy.” I pulled into the driveway of what was now my house. The bungalow was small, but so much of her personality was in those walls. She and Papa had downsized when they retired. It was perfect for them. Three bedrooms, two baths, and a backyard full of trees and bushes. Nana liked to garden and had tons of flowerpots on the front porch and on the back deck. It was going to take months to get through all her things.
“I miss her, too. I’ll see you tomorrow. Let me know when you want me over.” Mom disconnected the call while I sat in my car. It was so quiet here. The neighborhood was a community of older people who looked out for one another. I didn’t know where I belonged, but I didn’t belong here.
* * *
By the end of the week, Mom and I had gone through all Nana’s clothes and donated them to her church. I kept an overcoat of hers, a few scarves, and costume jewelry that was so old, it was back in style again. We decided to have an estate sale in a few months for the furniture and things we didn’t want to keep. Four days and a full weekend, and Mom and I were spent. I wasn’t complaining, though. It allowed me to keep my mind off Brook and spend time with Mom. Talking about times with Nana all week was therapeutic for both of us.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come over for dinner?” My mom leaned down to see my face through the car window.
“Thanks, but I need some downtime. I need to go do mindless things and eat greasy cheeseburgers and fries drenched in ketchup and mayo,” I said.
“Promise me you’ll eat something healthy. I don’t need you to wither away.” She reached in and tucked my hair behind my ear. I was surprised at the gesture. My mother was never a touchy-feely person.
“I promise. Don’t stay late. You have a busy day tomorrow, too.” I pulled out of the driveway and headed back to my place, stopping for fast food along the way. Tonight I’d sift through some paperwork, read letters Nana wrote Papa when he was stationed overseas, and play video games.
During the week I was back and forth from Nana’s house to the Wellington estate. I took care of Noah in the morning, sifted through Nana’s stuff until three, then headed back to school to collect him until seven, then drove back to Nana’s until ten or eleven. Nana was a pack rat. The pantry, the closets, the shelves were all stacked with things. Every bit of available space was utilized. I had one more week to get as much done as possible before school started.
Are you home?
I sat up. It was Brook. She had a thing for texting me Sunday evenings.
I just got back from Nana’s.
How are things going?
Brook knew I was splitting my time between here and Nana’s. I told her it wouldn’t be a problem to still do my job and deal with Nana’s property. She seemed taken aback when I told her it wouldn’t take time away from Noah.
We did a lot this week and weekend and haven’t even touched the basement. Mom and I decided to have an estate sale in a few months.
If you need help, I know people.
That made me smile.
Thank you.
About an hour later, Brook texted me again.
What are you doing now?
Trying not to fall asleep. You?
Trying not to miss you as much as I do.
Her words shot me off the couch. I stood there, holding the phone in both hands, and stared at it. There were more bubbles.
I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. You have so much going on right now, and I’m being selfish.
I was already racing to the bathroom to take a quick two-minute shower and slip into fresh clothes. I checked my phone but found no other texts from Brook. I raced through the garage and texted her.
Open the door.
Bubbles appeared and disappeared. I waited two minutes by the door, willing to give her five. When I heard the chime of the alarm being disabled, I stood tall.
“I didn’t mean for you to come down,” she said.
I knew she was lying. I pulled her toward me and kissed her. I missed her mouth, and she pressed herself against me. She was warm and soft and wearing nothing under her robe. I broke the kiss and stepped away from her.
“You’re beautiful.” I opened the robe completely and ran my fingers over her curves. Goose bumps spread over her skin and her nipples puckered. “And I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you.”
She touched my face. “You scared me when you didn’t answer me.”
“I had to wash off the day at Nana’s. Let’s go somewhere warm and private.” I led her by the hand up the stairs to her bedroom and locked the door in case Noah wandered in.
I just needed her. I needed to be inside her, lose myself in her touch, forget about everything but her. I pushed back the covers and slid the robe off her shoulders. She stood naked and proud in front of me. I pulled off my T-shirt while she worked on my sweats. I was wearing only those two articles of clothing and slippers.
“You’ve lost weight,” she said. She ran her hands delicately over my rib cage and across my stomach. I shivered at her touch.
“It’s been a really shitty month until now.”
“I haven’t helped at all,” she said.
“That’s not true.” I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to touch her and hold her. I wanted to bury myself in her warmth and forget about time and my problems. I crawled onto the bed and gently pulled her toward me. “Come here. Let’s slide under the covers and get warm.”
She slipped underneath me and pulled my hips to rest against hers. It took about thirty seconds of kissing before I felt like I was on fire. I rolled my hips against hers and pushed against her wetness. I slipped my hand between us and rubbed the moisture up and down her slit until I reached her clit and gently circled it with my finger. Brook bucked against my hand.
“I need more, Cass. Please don’t tease me.” Her voice held a note of desperation that empowered me, made me feel like I was the best lover she’d ever had.
I leaned back so I could watch her face as I entered her. Her mouth opened and her breath hitched when I pushed two fingers deep inside. She gave a moan so guttural I stopped, afraid I’d hurt her.
“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
I leaned over her, supported myself on my elbow, and fucked her hard and fast. She spread her knees farther apart and dug her heels into the mattress. Her hips rocked against my hand. We kissed hard, and when she came, she shouted in total abandonment. I quickly put my hand over her mouth, afraid we’d wake Noah.
“You have to be quiet,” I whispered.
Her breath was labored, and she still shook with aftershocks, but she nodded. I slowly removed my hand from her mouth to find her smiling at me.
“He’s not going to wake up. He sleeps so hard.”
“Unlike Gwen, who hears everything,” I said.
“She’s probably got this place bugged.”
We both laughed, and I looked at her. “I missed you, too.”
She pulled my forehead down to hers. “What are we going to do?” She closed her eyes and repeated the question. This was more than just sex. I think she’d wanted it to be simple and easy, but something had happened along the way. We’d both slipped. Not that I thought she would admit it, but she couldn’t let me go.
“Why do we have to put a label on this? Why does this have to be explained?” I thought I hid my desperation well, but when she touched my cheek, I knew I’d failed.
“It’s not fair to tell you one thing, then invite you up to my bedroom. It’s fucked up, I know,” she said.
“Brooklyn Wellington.”
She looked at me. “Yes, Cassandra Miller. What can I do for you?”
&nbs
p; “Go to dinner with me. Like on a date.”
She covered her face with her hand. I leaned down and gently kissed her knuckles. “Come on. It’ll be low-key, somewhere fun, but we’ll have to get a babysitter for Noah. I can’t do both.”
Her hand still covered her face, but she nodded. Brook Wellington, COO of a multi-million-dollar corporation, smart, beautiful, and so extremely fuckable, had just agreed to go out on a date with me.
“I’ll pick you up Friday at eight. That’ll give you enough time to find a place for Noah and change from your power suit into something casual,” I said.
“Are you leaving?”
“No. Why?”
“Because you asked me for a date for next weekend, and we still have”—she leaned back to look at the clock—“we still have three hours and eighteen minutes before we need to focus on sleep.”
“Yes, but I knew we’d be busy for the next three hours and eighteen minutes and wanted to ask you just in case we accidentally fell asleep.”
“You’re a romantic,” she said.
I shrugged. “I wanted to ask you before somebody else did.”
She skillfully flipped me and straddled my hips. “There’s no one else, Cassie. I promise.”
Chapter Twenty-six
To say I was nervous was a giant understatement. Brook got home early and took Noah to Lauren’s for the weekend. She gave Patrick the night off. I told Brook our date was going to be casual, but I was having a hard time finding something to wear. I wanted to look beautiful and decided on a V-neck sweater, jeans, and low suede boots. I styled my hair and put on makeup that was a little bolder than I was used to, but I looked hot.