by Karen Deen
“Thank you,” I grumble.
“You’re welcome.” He sits beside me. I glare at him and if looks could start a fire, he would be burning red hot right now.
“Okay, okay. You called me last night, very drunk. Told me you were scared, but I couldn’t get out of you why. I managed to get your address from you while you were busy singing Eye of the Tiger to me.”
I can feel my face turning red. “You’re making that up. I don’t sing.”
“You’re right, you don’t. I’m not sure what you were doing could be classed as singing. My ears are still hurting.” He smiles his cocky grin.
“Well, what I was just listening to is certainly the worst singing I’ve ever heard.” There, smarty pants, take that. Oh my god, what am I, five?
“Touché, Paige. I’ll have to agree with that. Now, I need you to tell me what’s going on. Why are you scared to the point you got so drunk last night you called me?” He turns sideways on his stool; he looks straight at me, not letting me ignore him. I can’t tell him what’s going on. I need to keep that to myself and find a way to sort it out.
“I don’t even remember calling you. Sorry, I don’t know what I was rambling about.” I try to break off some of the muffin to eat so I don’t have to talk.
“I call bullshit. Your body language is telling me something completely different. When I put you to bed, you told me again that you’re scared. You can trust me with whatever it is.”
For some reason, the feelings in my gut tell me I can, however my head is telling me that I need to keep my mouth shut.
“I don’t know what to tell you.” Then my brain realizes what he just said.
“Wait.” Oh no.
“What?”
No, no, no!
“You put me to bed?” Bastard’s just smiling at me. “Did you undress me? I woke up naked!”
His eyes light up like he’s hiding something. “You really don’t remember what happened between us last night?” Oh god. My head drops into my hands. What did I do? Don’t get me wrong, there is a big part of me that would very much like to sleep with Mason, but at least I would like to remember every enjoyable moment.
“No,” I hesitate to say.
“Well, when you tell me why you’re scared, I’ll tell you what happened last night.” Straightening on his seat, he tries to intimidate me in a nice way.
“That’s blackmail! Just tell me now! I’m done playing games.” I stand up, starting to get pissed off. This is my home. I’m calling the shots.
“Well, that makes two of us, Paige. You were scared enough that you called me. A person you barely know, let me into your building, gave me the security code, and didn’t freak out one bit when I walked into your bathroom where you were in a bubble bath naked. I’ll do everything I can to make you tell me what the hell is going on. I want to help you. I’m not just some useless employee. I’m a trained soldier who knows far more about danger than I would like to. However, these skills will be what can keep you safe when you need me to.” He stands up straight in front of me, breathing hard, chest puffed out, and shoulders back.
Looking hot as hell. My emotions are so scrambled and mixing with anger. I know I’ll regret this later. Losing control, I slam my mouth on his, doing what I’ve been longing to do for the last six months.
There’s no hesitation from Mason. His hands go straight to the back of my head, grabbing at my hair and trapping me right where he wants me.
His lips are rough and strong, overtaking the kiss and seizing control from me. Where I’m kissing with all the ferocity that I’m feeling, Mason’s now slowing it down. Kissing me softly and deeply. The warmth from his lips is spreading through my body like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
Fuck!
What am I doing! This can’t happen.
For so many reasons, this can’t happen. I’m pulling back quickly, and although he’s fighting a little with his hands in my hair, he reluctantly lets me go.
“I’m so stupid,” I say as I step farther away from him. “This can’t happen. You need to leave. Please, you need to go now.” Both my arms wrap around my body, and I’m starting to shiver all over.
“Paige, calm down. I’m not going anywhere. We need to talk about this. About that fucking amazing kiss, plus everything else.” He steps towards me, but I keep retreating.
“No. Stop. Don’t come any closer. Please, Mason, you need to leave. We can talk later. I just need to be alone.”
“Bullshit, that’s the last thing you need. Talk to me, Paige. You’re shutting down on me. What the fuck’s going on?”
I can feel the tears coming. I can’t break down. He can’t see me vulnerable, more than he already has. I need to come up with something to get him to go.
“Look, I’m just upset about my father, that’s it. You don’t know him so you can’t help. Now please go. Thank you for coming, and I’m sorry I worried you. But you need to go. I’ll talk to you later but please, just not now.”
“I’m not leaving, Paige. None of this makes sense.”
“If you don’t leave, I’ll call the security downstairs.” I won’t, but it sounds good.
“Security, what fucking security? Where were they last night when a man you were talking drunk to, convinced you to let him into your apartment? Fat good their help is to protect you, Paige.” Both our voices are escalating, this is not healthy. I’m about to give him another mouthful when my phone starts ringing. It must be down here somewhere. I look over onto the table and see it flashing.
“Don’t you answer that,” he huffs.
“How dare you tell me what to do in my own home. Get the fuck out.” The phone stops and then starts up again straight away. I move to pick it up, seeing it’s Beth. Shit, can today get any worse?
“Beth,” I yell down the phone. Before she even has time to speak, I immediately apologize. “Sorry, that was rude. How are you, Beth?”
Her voice tells me something’s wrong. “Paigey, you need to come home. The doctor needs to see you. Your father’s very sick.” I knew before she even said it that he’s bad. When she calls me Paigey it’s when she’s in grandmother mode.
“I’m on my way. Tell him I’ll be there as soon as I can. How bad is he, Beth?” There’s a long pause that tells me she’s scared to say.
“We both know he’s tough. He’ll pull through. That’s what he does. Be safe, and I’ll see you soon.” Her voice is gone, and I’m running up the stairs to grab my bag, shoes, and jacket.
“Bent, I need the car now. I need to get to my father,” I tell him as soon as he picks up the phone.
“Yes, ma’am. On my way. Meet you out front.” He hangs up as I’m almost to the bottom of the stairs. Heading for the elevator.
“Paige.” Mason’s soft voice comes from behind me. I’d totally forgotten he’s here, my mind going blank as soon as Beth called.
“Mason, sorry. I need to go, my father’s not well. I’m sorry, forget everything I said. Please just go, and we’ll talk later.” I can’t wait for any explanation.
“I understand, I hope he’s okay. Please let me know. I’ll clean up here…” It’s the last thing I hear as the elevator door closes with him still talking at me.
I’ve totally lost my mind. Running out leaving a guy I hardly know in my apartment, after I practically sucked his face off. Oh my god, the world is upside down and I don’t know how to flip it back. It just keeps spinning faster and faster.
I tap out a text message to Mason, while the elevator’s descending.
Paige: Mason, sorry and thank you.
Mason: I’m here to help however you need. That’s all I was trying to do. To keep you safe.
Paige: I know. I’m sorry.
Mason: Breathe, Paige. If he’s anything like you, he’s strong. Believe in that.
I can’t reply anymore. I just need to get to my father and find out what’s really going on. I need him. He’s not allowed to leave me. I’m not ready to be alone.
~
Running up the front steps of my childhood house like I used to do every afternoon doesn’t feel as much fun today.
Beth’s at the door waiting for me. She grabs me and takes me into a tight hug before letting me go.
“The doctor’s in his bedroom with him. Go straight in.” There are tears in her eyes, but I know she’s holding them in for me.
Standing outside of his room, I hesitate, feeling like my heart is going to stop. Stepping through this door could change my world. If I stand here and don’t enter, then nothing changes, but that’s just unrealistic. My father taught me to be strong so that’s what I’ll be. It’s what he’s expecting from me.
Opening the door, I see my father lying in bed with his eyes closed, an oxygen mask on his face. I can hear the awful sound of his breathing from here. Frozen, just taking the scene in, it’s Doctor Joss’s voice that jolts me back to the present.
“Paige dear, please come and sit down so we can chat.” My father’s doctor has looked after him since I was born. He’s almost as old as my father, just not quite. Daddy didn’t think it was appropriate for him to look after a little girl, so I’ve had a female doctor since I arrived here.
Walking towards Daddy, I lean down and kiss him on the forehead. He stirs slightly. He knows I’m here. Taking his hand, I sit down on the chair next to the bed.
“How is he? What’s going on, he was getting better.” Looking up into the eyes of Doctor Joss, I try to gauge what he’s about to say.
“The cold he’s suffering has settled on his chest and developed into pneumonia. Due to his age, this needs to be treated very seriously. I wanted him admitted to the hospital this morning, but he’s refusing. I know we’ve always discussed how he wants to be cared for at home, for anything that becomes wrong with him. Purely part of his stubbornness.” He rolls his eyes at his own comment.
“What do you suggest? What should I do?” I feel like a little girl again, lost in a world I don’t know how to navigate.
“I’ve organized for around-the-clock care with personal nurses, and I’ll be here several times a day to check on him. I’ve given him all the medication I can, keeping him comfortable, and oxygen to make sure he’s breathing as well as he can.” He sighs a little. “Then we wait.” He places his hand on my shoulder and gives it a little squeeze of comfort.
“I’ll move home until he’s better, so I’m here all the time. I’ll work from here because god forbid, I take time away from his beloved business. But he can complain all he likes when he’s better. I’m cancelling all travel until he’s well enough. And he will get better. There’s no other option. Right, Daddy?” I look at him for a response. “You’ll get better so you can continue to be the grumpy retired CEO still bossing around the current CEO.” I lay my head on his shoulder and pray hard that he’s listening.
Beth comes in with a cup of coffee for me. My headache and breakfast have been totally forgotten. Placing the cup on the table set up next to his bed, she hugs me from behind.
“He’ll pull through this, Paigey, you know he will. For once his stubbornness will be an asset. I’ll get Bent to take me to your apartment and collect your things. Just give me a list and I’ll bring everything home. I assume you’re staying.”
“Thank you, Beth. You’re so good to us. Yes please, that’d be wonderful. If you can get me some paper and pen, I’ll start now. I sort of ran out without much.”
Panicking and being disorganized is so unlike me. Even in the toughest situation, my father taught me to stand strong, assess the problem, strategize then implement. That’s no use to me here.
I feel so useless. There is nothing I can do except just sit and wait. Oh, and pray. Which I’ve never been very good at. Let’s hope someone is listening now.
~
Beth’s amazing the way she looks after both my father and me. As much as I don’t feel like eating, she makes me some pasta with a tomato sauce. Plus, my favorite cheesy garlic bread. Comfort food. I insist she sit and eat with me. She looks terrible. I know how close she is to my father; even though she complains about him all the time, they’d be lost without each other.
I often wonder if there has ever been anything more between them or just an unrequited love from Beth that my father would never return because she works for him. I hope I’m wrong, otherwise that would be so sad that they’ve lived alongside each other for near fifty years and longed for more.
The roles we hold in this world can be so suffocating. Like chains that confine us. Whether we’re there by choice or not. All the money, strength, and power, and yet you’re still struggling to breathe.
I’ve never known what fresh air feels like.
6
Paige
LISTENING TO THE RATTLE of my father’s lungs as he struggles to breathe is so hard. Trying to distract myself with work, it’s hard to concentrate on anything. Nurses coming and going regularly, smiling at me to tell me he’s still the same. I never thought that would be a good thing for a sick person, yet it’s positive meaning he isn’t getting worse.
I’ve been in contact with Tyson so he knows what’s going on and he can start moving my meetings to conference calls. Speaking to Brian, he thinks we should keep it quiet how sick my father is. Investors and clients tend to get nervous if the CEO’s not on the ball. Brian will fly to one important meeting, so we don’t spook them.
Shit. I need to message Mason. I promised I’d call, but I can’t bear talking to him. It might be the thing that brings me unstuck. He should know it’s not me flying with him this week and that my dad is not doing well. Drafting the message three times, I delete it. Finally, I just type quickly before I have time to think, my finger hitting send.
Paige: Mason, I’m sorry about last night and this morning. We’ll talk later about it. Just letting you know my dad has pneumonia and I am staying with him until he recovers. I’m not traveling, instead my VP, Brian, will be with you on Tuesday. Be nice to him. Stay safe.
Waiting for the dots after you send a message is like torture. I don’t know if I want him to reply or if it’ll be easier if he doesn’t. Instead, my phone starts buzzing in my hand. I should have known he would call. I just can’t do it. I don’t have the strength. I let it go to my voicemail.
Paige: I can’t talk. Maybe tomorrow.
Mason: I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I’m sure he’s going to pull through this. I’m worried about you too. Are you doing okay?
This is why I can’t talk to him. His message is already making tears escape. No time to be emotional.
Paige: You’re kind. Thank you for asking. I’m fine. I have to be. Talk tomorrow.
Walking out of my father’s room, I let Beth know I’m taking a shower upstairs.
Finally, I let my tears fall. They’ve been building for days, and with the sound of the water running, no one will know.
No one except me. The way it’s always been.
Mason
There’s that damn word again.
Fine!
She’s not fucking fine. I know that, and she knows that. Yet she won’t let me do anything to help her. I’m here staring out at the Chicago night, while she’s out there, somewhere. On her own. Being the strong, kick-ass woman she is.
I wonder if she ever gets tired of that. Holding up the armor. I’m damn sure I would.
Mason: With everyone else, you do. With me, I want you to let yourself not be fine for once. Let me carry the weight for a little while.
No reply comes. She’s gone radio silent, which is killing me. I’m waiting, but I know nothing’s coming.
Lying down in bed, I wonder if sleep will come at all tonight. I send one last message.
Mason: You must know over the last twenty-four hours I’ve become more than just your private pilot. That kiss was so much more. When you touch your lips, know that mine feel that touch too.
It’s neither the time nor the place to say this over a message, but I have no idea when she’ll let me see her a
gain. I need her to know how I’m feeling. Whether she’s ready to hear it or not.
How life can change in an instant. I’ve felt something different from the moment I met Paige. When she shook my hand before boarding the plane that first flight. It was strong and firm, yet with a soft femininity that I felt was hiding underneath.
Today, her kiss felt exactly the same. Strong, firm, yet feminine.
She sealed our path.
The fire that exploded on our lips, melted every barrier and reason in my head why I shouldn’t pursue her. Nothing will stop me now.
She wants me, just as much as I want her.
No need to rush her. I’ll stand and support this woman through this. Then, we’re exploring what the hell that was today. Because if she kisses like that, what the hell’s she like in bed.
Sleep’s not coming easy. Reading’s been my savior over the years, but tonight it just doesn’t hold my interest. The last time I look at the clock it’s just before one am. Finally, I feel my body giving in and my eyes feeling heavy. I want morning to be here so I can try to talk to Paige again
I have a real issue with feeling I can’t help someone in need. I know this, and I need to be mindful I don’t become obsessed with it. In my mind, I’m watching her walk up the plane stairs, slow motion. Long legs in fuck-me heels. Nice and bright. My eyes drawn to her every time. The vision getting stronger. I feel my resolve not to think of her weakening. My hand sliding down until I’m fisting my cock. The rhythm in time to her ass swaying just for me. The vision then takes me to the bath. Wishing I could just push those bubbles aside and see her breasts. Sliding into the bath and lying between her smooth legs. Feasting on her. Hearing my name screaming from her lips. Water sloshing out onto the tiles, while I’m fucking her hard. So fucking hard that she moans loud, begging me to keep going. That’s what I want to dream about.