by Karen Deen
My next flight will be the ultimate test, I’m sure.
Mason
If there is such a thing as an exploding cock, I think mine is about to suffer from it. Trying to drive to my apartment is taking every cell in my brain to concentrate. Pretty sure all the blood from my brain has found a home in my pants, and it’s pulsing like my heartbeat.
The walk from the car is awkward to say the least. Trying to avoid people. Thank god I have my gym bag to hold awkwardly in front of me. Every time I take a step it keeps banging on my manhood. Paige, you’re going to pay for this. It’s nasty to leave a man hanging like this. Although it’s partly my fault. It wasn’t exactly how I planned the night to go, nor was it the place to start that. I just couldn’t help it. When my lips touch hers, my restraint seems to disappear.
Finally, the shower’s running and I’m stepping under the water. I need to take care of this before I burst. The more I try and think of other things, the stronger my thoughts of Paige keep coming back. Now it’s not just images; I know how her lips taste, the smoothness of her skin, and the tightness of my fingers inside her. Nothing is taking those away from me. Stroking myself with the fingers that had been buried deep inside her only a short time ago is enough to send me over the edge. My body is jerking as I finally come all over my shower floor with the force.
I want her and I want her bad.
Today just confirmed what I was thinking. We are made to piece together. Having her in my arms, legs wrapped around me, was like the puzzle locked together perfectly. She just confuses me. One minute she’s falling into my arms and reciprocating everything I feel. Then she pushes me away. The thing is, although she’s putting distance between us, never once has she said she doesn’t want me. Just that she can’t do this. For as long as she wants me, I’m not giving up. It just seems harder than I first imagined. No war worth winning is easy. This is a fight I’m in for the long haul. No matter how much I know I’m setting myself up to be hurt.
Although I know I won’t sleep, I lie down on my bed not bothering with any dinner. I’d rather just lose myself in my thoughts.
~
“Where the hell is Lex? We can’t start the game with just the three of us,” Tate complains, looking down at his watch.
“Keep your pants on, Mr. Perfect,” I say, “he’s running a few minutes late. Just go warm up and see if you can manage a basket. At least that’ll be better than last week’s game where you didn’t sink one.” I throw the basketball at his chest.
This week’s been the worst; I’ve hardly slept, and my patience is short. Tuesday, I flew Brian, Paige’s vice president, to a meeting to replace her. It was not the same. I missed seeing her beautiful face, and he sure as hell didn’t hold my interest checking out his ass as he walked up the stairs into the plane.
The plane’s been grounded ever since. Not because there are any problems, but no flights were scheduled. Paige’s been staying close to home. According to Bent when I see him at the gym, her father is finally improving. Not that I would know because I haven’t heard from her since walking out on Sunday night.
I already feel sorry for Grayson being on my team for our weekly basketball match. We try to meet every Thursday at Dunbar Park. We all lead busy lives, but this has been a ritual since we left high school. There have been times where it didn’t happen for periods, like when I was overseas. Although the boys sent me this ridiculous video one day of the three of them playing with Grayson’s dad, and he was wearing a face mask of me and some of my clothes. I think it was their way of telling me they missed me, without getting all mushy.
I’m anxious to get playing. I haven’t been able to sit still all week. Too much energy that needs using. Plus, it keeps my mind from thinking about Paige.
“Finally. Did you forget how to tell the time, Councilor Alexander Jefferson the third?” I say, bowing down to him.
“Fuck off, Mas, just get on the court. Let’s see if your game is as snappy as your mouth,” Lex growls at me.
“Awesome, Gray,” Tate says. “We have two grumpy little boys today. Maybe we need to stop at the titty bar on the way back to work to put a smile on their faces? Is that the problem, boys? Got sore balls from no action?”
Tate and Gray start laughing as Lex and I both reply at the same time with the same words: “Fuck off, Tate.” Loud and clear, he gets the message.
“I think the boys need a hard, fast game today. Let’s get into it. Otherwise someone is going to lose their shit. I just can’t decide which one of them it is.”
Lex smacks Tate round the back of the head and the game is on.
I’m on fire today. Ten baskets and I annoyed the shit out of Tate by marking every shot he tried to take.
“Fuck, whatever your boss lady’s done to piss you off, can she keep it for when you’re on my team next time?” Tate puts his arm around me as we walk off the court for a break.
“What makes you think this has anything to do with Paige?” I swig on my water bottle.
“The fact you are on first-name basis now with the boss perhaps gives it away. Oh, and that you ran out of the bar last week like your ass was on fire because she called. So yeah, I think it’s a pretty good guess.” Tate looks pleased with his assumptions.
“Give it a rest, Tate.” Grayson squirts water at him from his bottle.
I notice Lex isn’t saying much either. He doesn’t want Tate to move to him next.
“What, just because you have Tilly now, you’re going soft on me? What is going on here? You have become a mushy girl since you got a fiancée. Lover boy number two over here is sulking like a teenage boy because his girl is ignoring him. Then, Lex, the boy behind door number three, hasn’t been himself for weeks, dragging his frown around with us. Come on, guys, what’s this world coming to? Lighten up, for fuck’s sake, or do I have to do a group therapy session in Vegas for a weekend? Like we used to do.”
We all glare at Tate and then one by one we all start to laugh.
“You’re such a dick, Tate, you know that, right?” Sitting down on the bench, I’m still laughing.
“Maybe so, but it worked. About time you let go of your nuts and just chilled out. If she has you this wound up, man, is she really worth it?”
“One day you’ll understand this statement. Just breathing without her near me is the hardest thing to do, because my chest is hurting too much.” That’s pretty much how I feel. She sucks the air out of me when she walks away.
“Fuck, not you too!” Tate runs his hands through his hair. “What, did you let him drink the same water as you, Doctor Pussy? Lex, don’t you go near them. I can’t afford another buddy to get struck down by the same disease. Man, we are becoming endangered, us carefree, unattached guys.”
Grayson laughs at him and slaps me on the shoulder as he walks past. “Ignore him, Mas. Welcome to the club. I’d rather be a member of this one than the desperate and dateless over there. They’ll work it out sooner or later. Maybe sooner for Lex than idiot Tate who seems to think every woman in Chicago can’t resist his charm. Can’t wait for the day that comes back and bites him in the ass.” It feels good to have Gray to back me up, but I wish it was as simple as they think it is.
“I’d also love to be part of your club, Gray, but so far she’s pushing me away as hard as I’m trying to pull her to me.”
“I know what you mean,” Lex mumbles under his breath.
I heard him, but the others were too busy laughing at me being rejected. I need to talk to Lex on his own later. There’s more to his sour moods than just work, I’ve got a feeling.
“When you were in the army, if things got tough, did you give up and walk away?” Grayson asks.
“Not a chance, you dug deep, came up with a different tactic, and then went at it again.” I answer with my shoulders pulling back and on the defense.
“So, what are you doing wasting time sulking, because she’s pushing you away?” Tate says. “Dig deep, find a new tactic, and start again. Come on, so
ldier. If she’s really the one, then stop standing back. Get up and fight for her.” For the first time today, Tate’s serious in what he’s saying. It’s almost like he can relate to it all.
“Thanks, man. I needed someone to kick me up the ass and get my head out of there. Sometimes I get stuck in that spot.”
“Jesus, I don’t even want to get a visual of all that. Your head stuck up your own ass. Either head is just too messed up to think about.”
“Lex!” we all yell at once. What the hell has gotten into him?
The alarm on Grayson’s watch starts chiming, which alerts us that it’s time to get out of here. There is never enough time with the guys, but the small time we squeeze in is like gold for the soul. These boys are my family, maybe not by blood but sure as shit by soul. Sometimes I just need them to ground me and set me on the right path again. It doesn’t have to be any great speech. Just being together can be enough to do it.
Goodbyes are being yelled as both the doctors are off and running together, back towards Mercy Hospital, and Lex is already jogging towards his car. He also has a tight schedule because of his court appearances. I’m left sitting on the park bench alone. I wish I had somewhere to be other than sitting at the airport on standby. There’s only so much paperwork you can do before you go stir crazy. This morning was even worse because I had to put up with Aaron at the hangar while he did his regular flight simulation runs to keep up his training hours. I know it won’t be long and I’ll lose him as a copilot. He’s almost at the required hours to gain his captain’s license, and he’ll be out of here and applying for jobs where he gets to be in charge of his own aircraft. For all his annoying man-whore ways, he’s a good pilot, and I’m sure he’ll do a great job on his own.
For the first time this week, I feel a little lighter after talking with the boys. They gave me ideas on how to approach Paige, stay focused, and don’t give up.
~
Filling in the afternoon had been hard, but I managed. Finally making it home, I move through the normal routine. Dinner, shower, surfing the net, and now watching a bit of television before I head to bed with a book. Some nights I wonder if I should get myself a dog like Gray has, to keep me company. Then I shake that feeling, realizing I don’t have anyone to look after it when I’m away with work. Instead, I just have to put up with the quiet nights on my own.
Shutting the television off and finally lying flat in my bed, doing my relaxation breathing exercises, I start to feel calm, ready to read a little before sleep claims me. I set my alarm for the morning even though it’s not needed; it’s a routine I can’t break. They tell me it’s good for my PTSD to keep routine. Stop’s my brain from spiraling when I know what’s coming.
I hit the alarm marked in my phone as weather check, set for five-thirty am. That’s when I wake and log on to check the weather for my flight. Not that it’s needed for tomorrow, but I’ll do it anyway.
My email chimes on my phone while I’m running through the alarms that I set. Three in total.
Checking to see if it’s anything important, I’m shocked to see it’s from Paige. Part of me doesn’t want to open it, in case she’s decided to replace me with another pilot. I can’t wait, though, I need to know what’s going on.
Ms. Paige Ellen – CEO Ellen Corporation
Dear Mason,
We need to fly to Washington tomorrow at nine am. Please have the plane ready for this time. I will be flying with my Uncle Franco and Tyson.
It will be a day flight leaving Washington at 2 pm.
Please make arrangements accordingly.
Thank you,
Paige
What the hell is this bullshit?
My heart leaps at the news I’ll get to see her tomorrow. Yet I can feel my annoyance rising at the business nature of the email. Perhaps she’s forgotten that the last time we were together, I’m the man whose name was escaping her lips as she rode through the best orgasm of her life.
Okay, Ms. Ellen, two can play at this professional bullshit game.
Captain Mason White
Dear Ms. Ellen,
I will arrange your flights as per your schedule and inform the crew.
We’ll be waiting on the tarmac ready for boarding at 8:45 am. Please do not be late.
I will inform my crew of the number of passengers for the flight.
Thank you,
Captain White
Hitting send, I’m laughing for the first time in days. I can imagine her face when she sees my reply asking her not to be late. There will be steam coming out of her ears. She knows I always comment on how punctual she is.
Hopefully it pisses her off and stirs the sleeping tiger.
Be ready, Paige. I’m coming for you, baby.
I hope you’re up for the challenge.
9
Paige
I WANT TO BE PISSED at Mason, but I know I can’t.
Pushing him away, making him angry, it’s what I need to do. Yet I’m sitting here wishing it didn’t work. Deep down I want him fighting harder. Fighting for me.
I’m such a bitch. Mason fighting for me just leads to hurt. The kind of hurt I’m feeling. The one that won’t heal, because the heart’s breaking.
They say when you know, you know.
I’ve known from day one he’s so much more. I’ve also known I can never do a thing about it. What I didn’t know was how hard it would be, or how he feels.
His lips on mine make me lose all sense of reality. It’s just us in the moment, feeling every sensation. You can’t fight it. As hard as I’m trying to. He’s off limits, I’m the boss.
He knows his reply to my email will annoy me. I’m never late, but maybe tomorrow I should be. Two can play at this game, Captain. Giggling a little, I know it won’t happen. I don’t do late and I’m not about to start now.
This week’s been hard. Every time we find another piece of evidence it just makes me angrier. Who is so awful to be sabotaging everything my father worked so hard to build? Or is it someone who has a problem with me? Franco warned me to trust no one until we get more leads and can either eliminate suspects or narrow it down to possibilities. It makes me doubt every conversation, email, message I receive.
What we do know is that whoever it is must be part of my management team. They need to have high security level to pull this off. That’s totally gut-wrenching. Every person that’s close to me is potentially trying to sink me. I just wish I knew why.
We know the how, the where, and we’re just waiting for the when. If I could work out the why then all the pieces will lead us to the answer. I’ve repaid every dollar back to the government from my personal accounts, so no one suspects we know as yet.
Tomorrow we fly to Washington, trying to see if we can find any more clues. Uncle Franco is accompanying me, saying he’s writing a book on my father. So, he’s doing research on the company. It’s lame, but it’ll work. I can’t say he’s assisting me, otherwise Tyson’s likely to throw another tantrum. Worse still, he suspects something is going on and if it’s him then we’ll tip him off that we know about the missing money. My Aunty Veronica came up with the cover story. I think she’s been watching too many mysteries on the television. She was way too excited about helping.
I feel like I’m in a glass bubble, spinning around every direction trying to see where the knives in my back are coming from. My father always said trust no one. Now I know why.
Pondering if I should reply to Mason’s snarky email, I decide it’s better to let it be. I know it’s just as hard on him as me, so why make it any harder? Instead, closing the lid on my laptop, I lie down hoping sleep will claim me easier tonight. I don’t feel like I’ve slept since Daddy got sick.
Closing my eyes, I’m praying. Lord give me strength tomorrow. Being near Mason, I’m going to need enough to hold back a steamroller. Because that’s what he does to me. He flattens every wall I try to put up. Once he’s touching me, I can’t do a damn thing to resist him, and he knows it.
No one has ever touched me like Mason.
~
“Thank you, Bent. We’ll pick Franco up on the way, please. Good morning, Tyson.” I nervously slide into the car. Not that he would notice. My normal morning persona is on show as I take my coffee from him.
“Morning, Ms. Ellen. Is that Franco, as in your uncle? Why are we picking him up?” The only person I told he’s coming is Mason. I don’t know why. Maybe I wanted him to know who he is and that he’s no threat. My mind’s in a ridiculous place at the moment. I shouldn’t care what he thinks, but I do.
“Yes. He’s flying with us today.” Leaving it at that, I feel his eyes on me, but I’m not prepared to expand any further until Franco is in the car. Everyone is on a need-to-know basis currently.
“Okay.” He starts typing on his phone and is quiet for the rest of the short trip to collect Franco.
“Good morning, princess.” Franco kisses my cheek as he sits next to me after Tyson moves to another seat.
“Morning,” I reply, smiling for the first time today, his big warm smile making me relax a little.
“Tyson, how are you, my boy? Ready to be under the magnifying glass?” he jokes although I can tell he’s watching him intently.
“Um, I suppose. Why’s that?” he nervously replies.
“Oh, didn’t Paige tell you? I’m an avid writer, so she has asked me to do a book on her father and his company. While he’s still well enough to fill me in. Will be a great asset for the company in future years. I’ll be around quite a lot just getting a feel for things and collecting research. Aren’t you lucky, you get to see my ugly face every day?” He laughs at his own joke.