The Real Horse

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The Real Horse Page 4

by Farid Matuk


  exactly like a blind diver diving the bubbles and the cabinetry

  pulling up and the keypad and clerk rising into the flat blue sky

  now curving around my blind fingertips look there are bees

  at the cauliflowers look at my hands you say far above touching

  the deployments but I’m stuck on saying they keep circling and so on

  to the point where I want to see you less than to see you out

  and if I can’t I won’t ask you to tell me how to stay

  in the long shade your hands cast when they get to their totality

  before the sun that we know sits high

  and the sky behaves itself around the things we are making

  the forms and their compensations and by scintillas you are too

  but if saying should fails art maybe our art

  is where we should stay and what we should exceed

  like Alice writing “but that’s not the ending”

  No Address

  In 1849 collaborators helped Henry Brown ship himself out of enslavement by hiding his body in a parcel crate. In 1850 Brown launched his panorama show, Henry Box Brown’s Mirror of Slavery, prompting Frederick Douglass to lament, “[H]ad not Henry ‘Box’ Brown and his friends attracted slaveholding attention to the manner of his escape, we might have had a thousand Box Browns per annum.”

  In 2003 U.S. citizen Rachel Corrie, volunteering with International Solidarity Movement, knelt her white body between the home of Palestinian pharmacist Samir Nasrallah and an Israel Defense Forces armored bulldozer. Despite appeals to U.S. officials and a suit brought by Corrie’s family in Israeli courts, her death generated no judicial, diplomatic, or policy consequence.

  Reportless Subjects, to the Quick / Continual addressed—

  —Emily Dickinson

  I want you to see the leaves are gone and white like winter

  you said let’s make like a girl mean something amazing commercial

  flickered in that dead patch today is where I saw

  the cardinal’s glow you wanted to see me go first

  to use a pleasure in seeing me “walk behind this man” the voice said

  to Duriel so she could leave the train platform alive unbarred and unafraid

  feeling actual having nothing to do with little moments the suds

  in the sink lighting off workmen’s calls or how some of the Buddhist advice

  bends air before breaking it

  birds tonight and kids thread air into each other chiasticly

  it’s not a word the voice said but a pressure to impose to feel the shape you’re in

  tell me what to see when you can it’s a false spring after two days of rain

  you splashed in little verbs if any use us loud without the figure like running

  a voice’s grain is it a given its facts go in boxes whose faces we etch each shave a gain

  moneys and birds settle by night in what formations on the reservoir lake

  the roofs replaced leaves the hail brought down

  flake in the sun and winds push and mound them into berms

  there is no color in straw but fuel in nerves

  your leg shakes and big planters hold trees

  outside the stately houses around the water

  I can make my bad teeth better and hang a little gold

  at your wrist any verb could turn to a new feeling

  waking glad to remain an owner

  if whiteness or a people is a claim to life you slept through

  the night in a house that stands

  and our papers are filed with the state so vacationing

  we can hike up in the mountain to see the ancient pyramid

  above the valley of Tepotzlán honored a tax collector

  bureaucracies precede us there’s a tribe somewhere we say

  that trades in fear their names such a stab at beauty

  we should assume they study our histories and our lyrics our gestures

  and tones even if they don’t exist a people’s trade is fear feeling

  a sudden drop of the floor when I’m far from you

  and too such a picking at the earth’s curved surface and all laid on it

  that I’m to hold a space and from it cast the gaze you’ve trained in me

  onto the back sides of docking bays brake places parking lots and turnabouts

  and above them the sky

  a bigger more respectable more competent friend

  maybe an aesthetic theory like two dogs same caramel color off leashed

  to chase and echo one another in the green patch

  by the metro stop gold-embossed grass-threaded streets

  can I be in that picture one day with you

  if what etches into your eyes leaves a small canyon in its trough

  is there the chattering speech

  I don’t think it’s enough to say images seen the still Aleppo pine needles

  a tarp billowing at the lower winds are a weather how long could you look

  in the foreground at a wet child who isn’t you

  the two bits of peeling white light she tossed into us feel like a skein

  a weight water falling down your back in the bath a salted

  silver-edged negative pressing you to the steady light impulse

  neither of us will absorb winking in it all the while by its known waves

  the state’s cargo planes keep from folding into our street

  having lost a few peoples running in superfluity the sky behaves itself

  over bamboo that grows here wild or bedded with river stones hauled

  come to rest their smoothing ends but not the infinitive daughter

  gone to running away with water as one of her rhymes

  hands on the water you call scene-setting hands on the table

  water over the houses and hills swimming paint a picture of a boat

  put everyone’s names in it all yourn standing up tall as your favorite bamboo

  in the yard tell me again its leaves fold back historically materially green

  over its pale shoots opening and dividing a day into rooms collected

  in the picture encyclopedia any guest could see youth’s decades in montaged

  trunk and bikini cuts all the soft blind fingers at the walls of a day

  just a day folds back to look on you like an anchor serving its subjects

  floating out on a water I couldn’t feel soaking into this valley of gravel

  and clay five thousand feet thick under alluvial fans of boulder debris

  across desert floors young volcanism made the rhyolite red that pulls the eye

  into the core of mountain silhouettes “We see shadows of people” said drone pilots

  “and we kill those shadows.” “That’s a kid there to the left.” “That’s what they were calling

  the adolescent earlier.” “Yeah, adolescents don’t move like that.”

  walking into a room with sadness made crystal touches me on the thigh in a brotherly way

  I already know quickening flashes of teeth as people affirming a homeland are about to cum

  but at any age you can tell your architect what color glass for the office park

  low clouds reflected advance into their next sky next weather

  let’s say our right to pleasure is a withholding

  as a president lies in state do you wake in state as a medium screaming

  I carry no one in my eyes not even a lane

  I don’t know to where you can stretch your finitude a little

  I can be your thing you scream you want in your night terror to bite my mouth

  “Right side up with care” Henry “Box” Brown’s

  Mirror of Slavery panorama show interru
pted whose idea of escape

  the magisterial fields of the horse run dotting the rolling hills with char with effects

  with bodies used for a whiteness from which Marina Abramovic´’s heroics

  would further empty out with a voiding majesty I don’t trust Henry’s fields give the lie

  to a tribe somewhere saying fear because it feeds

  the gull by night wheels round its technology for falling

  such a handling stuns the thing isn’t gentle to its otherness

  be thou gentle to your animal

  our finest sculptors charged with shaping a woman

  Guanshiyin in her deified name means “observing the sounds of the world”

  glaze her hand and leave it loose to turn or withhold

  and call it a figure for compassion

  the sun comes up through the planted trees a thing wastes not want

  what will you in your time do with a white enough woman’s form

  will its light make a word in the room so un-American in its humors

  and hugging near death that we’ll try to say it’s not a real word either

  so our anger might be civilian and yours

  trying to outpace likenesses who sells the shadow

  to dance only among spirit rappers in bodies where “women, negroes, natives”

  it was said were acted out for Reverend Mattison they were “vehicles of impurity”

  “my children too have learned a barbarous tongue, though it’s not so sure

  they will rise to high command” wrote Tu Fu or Bernadette on New England

  a boy tried to hang a dog in a playground she said you tried several spaces today

  under a desk a nook bent to your body brought round

  what about all the rooms the sky makes a faint blue expanse

  a long far line of electric poles a mountain I can see dog yelps almost digital

  maybe from inside a car parked at the Dollar General I guess anyone dreaming a state

  could visit and detonate insourcing a kind of defense but the sky behaves itself

  with just enough war over us as a family feast photographed frames time in our house

  you made your first marks today on this page

  to my empowered friends

  I love your story

  like the shapes we made in the things we said were demanding of us

  now you ask me why the sky is a tank full of lemonade out back

  all wet tonight and bugs call up a swamp in this desert in my story

  my dad wrote all the wrong names for her on a brick that could lift

  through my mother’s window came the words arrayed in glass

  dusting San Martincito on her dresser cast in plastic with spaces in his robes

  a home for the hen the dog made mild in the skirts of the mongrel saint

  still lining a thin easy silence around me come the scenes all down our street

  in someone’s car music each word lifted into its own space thumps in the moon’s

  heavy sleep breath there are extensions we can read what we said

  it’s such a simple printshop so mothers might tell us about what came

  to be more known a pear tree in the commons and really

  the words left idle beside if they could tell us about the forms

  if these came to lift them if we could ask sin miedo y sin piedad

  wouldn’t they never say there was a time what hovers turns behind maybe two feet up

  from our scapulae a moon’s heavy heel in the water an Aleppo daughter in my line ordered

  from a bride book bringing the wrong language to the Andes her new stepkids

  taking her first stillborn by the heel far from her Arabic taunting I’ve seen their pictures

  they were beautiful young people in those minutes did they feel in their mouths

  there are spaces for the refusals but we’ve heard migrants carried cultures in their dough

  little strains of living stretching back to outleap our generations with their own

  collapsing days into what they’ve written for us socializing the mother function

  a daughter in your mother’s line grew to offer her Englishless milk to strange babies

  in a Newark tenement and once in the parking lot around an igneous intrusion

  we saw a daughter searching the asphalt and her father screaming “If you lost it

  I will destroy you” not unhinged but large stretching the wet outlines of his organs

  to chamber the particular grain of his voice’s promise and here goes my voice

  trying to fit opposite promises in relation for you would there be no address

  if I try to tell it back to you what voice runs over gravel in the sentence

  taking shapes on the gravel in the sentence a dead girl given to the likeness

  of a depilated face made white enough or having hired hands to shape in their skill

  or having bred some not overwhelmingly disposable features having been raised

  in friends’ congregations in unaffected elegance taking a pledge of resistance

  to kneel with International Solidarity into the stamp of that human shield

  before someone else’s house besieged bearing shining hospitality we told you to

  give your money to the poor kneeling before a partner state’s bulldozer working

  a little harder into contested ground happens to flay the white from Rachel’s body

  how do I mark the strata of attended things descended past where I let myself be

  buoyant wanting nothing more just than to be traded it’s not the dusted hurt

  already layered on what Trojan baby girl would bear me out of the future pre-Rome

  but wanting a fraying of the lines ridden by a claim to life as a condition so we could play

  only means in my hands those lines extend it’s no better wanting it in a doting way

  just smile already I know into the sunny

  grainy pear rising onto my teeth it’s like

  some people you see by the heel

  purpling held into the screen

  in my pocket a position I would say

  if sound was finding forms

  stand in for us I hold the baby thing

  pretend I didn’t know you ever and say the wrong

  far words all around gild the air heel in hand

  in the light going through its orange

  and pink turning rhinestones in the story

  sustains delay to let the familiar back

  at once for you which pieces won’t we shed

  peopleless who says what’s kin

  who doubts cicada songs extend each silver green

  bamboo into a whole firm canopy

  who doubts the prophet groaned in the spirit’s self same

  sure shot glory raising Lazarus out of the mountain

  box into something real if I’m to believe my emergency

  giving the type away to typos Henry emerged

  on loop are you being seen in some old eyes

  with care is how some headaches need to start “Embracing, the dumb

  will speak, the lame will walk!” in such promises in so much

  insistence there was this César all woke drunk up in some

  white people’s republic rousing volunteers into freedom

  bring me my horse my love my gold green pear

  our general strike my gun whenever you read this what diminishment

  will you know making words seem mostly signals of their own restraint

  I guess yelling at you to survive doesn’t change the object you are

  everywhere stealing my shit figuring and giving out rights-of-way

  th
rough me like if parenting is a thing are you childing us who gave you a face

  and if César was only right where bodies have to coalesce

  in great numbers before the state hails with its infrasound rays

  that don’t cut off the ear but shake the cochlear fluid bringing faces

  onto paving stones or with rays that would excite water and fat

  so the burning skin symptom can insistently affect one area or shift

  the burning skin symptom can come and go rarely frequently or persist

  then is that why some of us like to take pictures of so many serial things warehoused

  or on docks waiting or we like to name the bougainvillea flowers

  to linger in a timeless way we thought to crown you with possibility

  and there isn’t a day I don’t hear a little circle of war storied out so I can eat it

  on an oval orbit you say so even if I’m not before you alone isn’t a thing

  “& someone who does not love you cannot name you right”—Aracelis Girmay

  like when my mother died women she worked with tending the old brought girls to chant

  out of the chapel’s bright plain walls a novena singing nine days into one niche

  on a string their voice ran out of their voice and their voice caught up

  with words they made a handling and it’s right to worry about losing oneself

  to a stylized rank but I don’t think that’s it if we’re ready to fold unalone

  into a voice the dead can leave love having been a casual service

  casually volute mold and casting to one another in your childing way

  don’t imitate my slogans in some fidelity to our line I won’t rise forever maybe

  I’ll be near you a while thinking I need your breath to work for me where vague life

  means even your blur claimed into a commons what Henry

  would discontinue at each object a self same region of objects renders Israel onto Israel

 

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