CHAPTER 2 (Seven days in line.)
"Numbers one hundred thirty nine thousand through one hundred forty five thousand please pack your belongings and proceed towards the entry gate." A voice booms from a loud speaker.
"Willow, Sebastian, it’s time to get up." My mom calls cheerfully out to us.
I bolt up out of bed with excitement and immediately start packing my stuff. After waiting for so many days doing nothing, we are finally going to get to go inside! There are only so many games to play with a deck of cards. I pull my passport out of my bag to make sure it's still safe and examine the number that is stamped in red ink. I am number one hundred forty-four thousand and one. The number unsettles me; I don't like odd numbers.
"Sebastian, it's time to get up," I shake him slightly. He whimpers a little and sits up groggily.
"I still sleepy." He says rubbing his eyes.
"I know buddy, but today is the day we get to go inside." My father says to him. "Aren't you excited Sabby?" He ruffles my brothers little curls with his hand. Sebastian gives him a big sleepy smile.
"I bet you are excited Willow," My dad says to me.
"Yeah, well, it's okay I guess." I say trying to act like I could care less when inside I am jumping for joy.
"Yeah, uh huh." My dad jokes around and playfully tries to ruffle my hair; except his hand ends up catching a tangle in my wild mane. He begins pulling at my hair trying to untangle his fingers. "Sorry love." He says with a half-smile while I wince at the sensation.
"No biggie." I reply a little self-consciously.
As a family we all work speedily to pack our belongings. I help get Sebastian ready. In fifteen minutes we are all dressed, have our single bag packed and are out the door of the tent headed towards the food line. The morning air already brings a heavy heat and with the clear skies it looks like the rest of the day will be unrelenting. I decide that I'm not going to allow my heavily perspiring skin to bother me. Nope, today is going to be a good day. Since our number was called, we are granted an express pass to the front of the line to get our breakfast, consisting of some type of cold cream of wheat concoction and a bottle of water. I scarf down the cold cereal as if I haven't eaten for days. My mom gives me a sideways look and shakes her head. Instead of calling me out for my bad table manners she just jokes, "I guess someone is about to have a growth spurt."
"Yeah, I guess so." I smile back, a real smile this time. I can't help it; I'm too ecstatic that we will be out of this smothering heat soon. Plus, my mom seems to be in a much better mood than she has been for days. I can see the worry lines easing from her forehead now that our numbers have been called.
Once we finish our meals we head to the entry gate and get into yet another line. Fans run along the path of the line circulating the already hot air around us. You would think something like this would provide some sort of relief, but with as hot as it is out here, nothing can take our minds off the scorching temperatures. A few mister stations are set up a long the way for the children. Children can't handle the heat as well as adults can. Even though the heat is intense, this set up in line is much better than the one back at camp, because thankfully, this line leads inside.
"I love you all." My dad says while pulling us all into a big bear hug. Normally I would be grossed out at even the idea of enveloping sweaty bodies, but it feels good to have that physical affirmation that we all love each other.
"Wuv you too!" Sebastian calls out.
"I love you all so much," my mom says.
Everyone looks at me expectantly, "You guys know that I love you." I say trying to be nonchalant but meaning every ounce of it. I wouldn't trade my family for the world.
"This is it, we are going to make it." My mom says with relief pouring from her voice.
"Yeah, speak for yourself. Do you see how many people they are turning away? Ageist bastards; almost all of the ones leaving are over fifty." Mr. Leroy spits out venomously.
I turn back startled. I hadn't realized that he was standing behind us. My dad tries to diffuse the situation by saying, "Please watch your language around my children Lee. This is stressful for everyone but I'm sure the F.E.M.A. has their reasons for turning those people away."
"Yeah, their reason is that they don't give a crap about us. We are nothing but a number to them, a statistic." Mr. Leroy huffs.
"I'm sure they will let you in Mr. Leroy." I don't know why I speak up to comfort him, but I do. I can tell that under that grumpy old man exterior he really is just as scared as the rest of us. Perhaps he's a little lonely too. He mentioned that he lost his wife to the virus last year. I give him an awkward pat on his back. I know I'm giving up my tough girl, annoyed attitude but I don't want anything to ruin today. Today is about hope. We are all going to be just fine. His eyes lighten up just a bit and his posture relaxes at my touch.
"Willow's right, we all are going to get to go inside. Just you wait and see." My mom chimes in. I can tell that her face shows a little bit of anxiety but she's doing her best to remain calm for us.
"I don feel so good." Sebastian tugs on my mom's shirt.
My mom's hand immediately goes up to his forehead checking his temperature. Her face shows a look of displeasure. "Willow, I think Sebastian is overheating. Do you mind taking him to one of the mister stations?"
I nod my head and grab Sebastian's little hand, "Let's go Sabby."
He walks beside me lethargically toward the nearest mister station; I end up carrying him most of the way. When we get there, I sit him down in the middle of the tent under the cool mist. "Raise your arms Sabby." He complies and I pull his tank top up over his head. His little skin looks red and overheated. He's had to spend almost every hour since we've been here inside our tent with the cooling unit on. My dad says that little kids can overheat much faster than adults. Plus, they don't always know how to communicate when they are showing signs of heat exhaustion. Waiting in this line for the past hour has probably been the longest time he has spent outside in the elements. To help cool him down quicker I take his little yellow tank top and hold it up close to one of the sprinkler heads. Once it's nice and wet I put it back on him.
"Tank you Wello." He says sweetly. His hair has accumulated enough moisture that his ringlets fall down in long waves over his forehead. Little beads of mist form on his eyelashes. I can tell by his eyes that he is still not feeling well, so I have him lie down and rest his head in my lap. I brush his hair like my mother does for us when we’re feeling under the weather. Sebastian gives a slight smile and closes his eyes to my petting.
"Would you like some water for the boy?" I look up from where I'm sitting to see a tall sturdy boy who looks to be about my age, holding out a cold bottle of water. His hair is shaved so close to his head that I can't tell what color it is. Tiny droplets of water cover his hair making his head look shiny. His skin shows a sun-kissed tan that tells me his parents didn't lather him in the same sunscreen I had to endure. I look down at my white legs and grimace before looking back up at him. He has unusually dark eyes that appear to be black and long thick lashes. I didn't know people could have black eyes, but I guess this boy does. His bushy eyebrows rise in question and I realize that I'm staring. I blush at my apparent lack of social skills.
"Oh, sorry. Yes, thank you." I reach up to grab the bottle. "Hey Sabby," I cringe a bit realizing that my baby name for my little brother probably sounds childish. The boy standing in front of me didn't seem to notice so I continue. "Why don't you drink some water Sebastian?"
I put the bottle to his lips and Sebastian opens his eyes only long enough to take a few small sips then he closes them again.
"Is he okay?" The boy asks me.
I look from Sebastian to the boy. "Yeah, he's just over heated. He should be fine. He's not used to this heat, but we should be allowed to go inside soon."
"Yeah, my little sister Lillie has a hard time with this heat too." He gestures with his head over to a small girl sitting in the corner of the misting area
. Her long orangey-red hair is pulled back in a ponytail. She's working on her dolls hair, trying to put it into a similar style. She appears to be around seven or eight years old.
"My name's Connor." He looks at me expectantly.
I just stare at him again. I don't know where my tongue went but I haven't really had a conversation with anyone my age in a long while. I'm a little out of practice. When I finally catch my tongue I say awkwardly, "Oh, sorry, I'm Willow and this is my brother Sebastian."
He stands there above me for a few seconds in silence. I guess he might be out of practice too when it comes to holding a conversation. That or we are both just as lethargic from the heat as our siblings are.
I clear my throat, "So, um, what number are you?"
"One hundred forty-three thousand and sixteen." He says.
"Oh, you are before us then." I reply noting the even number he lucked out with. He nods his head. Still not feeling much in the way of conversation I say, "Thanks for the water."
"Sure, no problem." He smiles a big goofy smile.
"Connor! Lillie!" A robust woman with curly red hair calls from outside the misting area. "It's time to go."
"Okay mom." Connor calls back to her. He turns back to look down at me. "Nice to meet you Willow. Good luck with the tests." I smile and wave goodbye to him as he turns on his heel to gather up Lillie. They both run out of the mister station to catch up to their mother hand in hand.
I look down at Sebastian who is sleeping noiselessly in my lap. Good luck with the tests. I hadn't even thought much about the tests that would be coming up soon. Nor have I thought about the fact that we could be turned away. I guess I just assumed everyone would be granted entrance, but even Mr. Leroy was saying that he's seen people declined. A sick feeling tumbles through my stomach. I take a few sips of water to help squelch the nausea.
"Hey honey, how's he doing?" My mom asks from outside the station. She walks inside and bends down to feel Sebastian's head and seems satisfied with his temperature.
I answer anyhow. "He's good, he crashed out almost immediately. Someone gave me some water so I made him drink it before he went to sleep."
"You are the best big sister ever." She smiles at me. "Hey, have I told you today that you are my favorite daughter?" She leans in to give me a motherly hug.
"Yeah mom; I'm your only daughter." She says the same thing to me nearly every day and I reply in the same way too. I smile up at her and return her hug. "You are my favorite mom." I mean it too.
"Thanks honey." My mom pushes my wet hair back from my forehead. To pass the time, she pulls my tangled hair out of its ponytail and goes to work combing through it nimbly with her fingers. My eyes nearly roll back in my head at the wonderful feeling of her playing with my hair. It's such a comforting gesture that all of my earlier worries about the tests momentarily slip from my mind. We spend the next hour talking and joking around while my mom works all of the knots out of my tangled mess. She fixes my hair up into a beautifully braided bun. The time sped by so fast that when my dad comes to tell us that our numbers have been called we are pleasantly surprised.
"Time to get up Sabby." I gently shake my little brother, who hasn't budged, from my lap. He stirs slowly. My dad comes over and picks him up giving him a zerbert kiss on his cheek. Sebastian squeals with laughter.
My mom helps me stand up because my legs have fallen asleep from sitting in the same position so long. I stomp around trying to get the blood flowing. Once all of us are standing my dad calls out, "Ready family?"
We all say, "yes," simultaneously and head back out into the heat, hand in hand. We walk towards the giant entry gates as a family in silence. The butterflies inside my stomach dance around in summersaults from anxiety and with every step we take I think, ‘This is it.’ I have no idea what our new home for the next three years will look like. I don't know what life will be like inside the shelter, but I do know it will be vastly different than my old life. The closer we get to the testing stations the more of the old me I leave behind.
The fortified steel gates surround us as we near the entry point. An enormous mountain sits before us. There is a straight line of tents that form a tunnel to the entry point leading us deep into the mountain.
"Identification please," asks a faceless official in a white biohazard suit with a F.E.M.A. nametag.
I fumble around my shorts pocket looking for my identification. Thankfully my dad pulls out my passport along with my little brothers and his. He hands them to the official who inspects it carefully. The suction of air that spits from his biohazard suit puts me on edge.
"Mosby family, report to testing station one." He points a stiff finger in the general direction of the first station. I follow behind my family feeling increasingly nervous with all of the white hazard suited officials walking about. I huddle closer to my dad.
Station one is marked with a giant red label that states, ‘first testing station,’ in bold block letters. Its entryway is covered with a large white curtain blocking the inside of the tent station from our view.
"Passports," An overweight official who is guarding the entrance requests. We comply by quickly handing him our passports. "The boy first," the man says blandly after skimming over our identification.
Another F.E.M.A. official, a woman whose name badge identifies her as a nurse, comes out to collect Sebastian. The nurse isn't flaunting the biohazard suit thankfully, which makes her look less intimidating. She does have her entire body protected by long sleeve scrubs, rubber gloves and a disposable surgeons mask over her mouth and nose though.
"No momma!" Sebastian clings to my mother's leg.
"Can I not go with my son? He’s only four." My mom asks the nurse.
"No, I'm sorry but each person must go through the tests alone." Her answer sounds so genuine that I believe she may actually feel sorry that she's separating our family.
I lean down and whisper in my brother’s ear. "Hey Sabby, if you can be a big boy and go with this nice nurse, I'm sure you will get a lollipop or a sticker after you are done." I don't know if it's true or not, but I figure if they don't offer him a treat I will find a way to make it up to him later.
He looks up at me with wide hopeful eyes and releases his grip on my mother's leg. "Okay Wello."
"I love you Sebastian. We’ll see you in a few minutes." My mom bends down and gives him a big hug. My father and I each take turns giving him reassuring hugs. Then he puts his hand out for the nurse to lead him into the testing station. He looks back and says to us, "I see you in bit."
I try to convey a reassuring smile. My nerves are running haywire and the anxiety I've been feeling increases ten-fold while I watch my little brother disappear through the curtain.
The nurse comes back a few minutes later and asks for me. I give my mom and dad a hug, say: "I love you," and follow the nurse inside.
The light inside the testing tent is so artificially bright that I have to keep my head down in response. It takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the brightness but when I do look up, I realize I haven't missed much. The nurse is leading me down a stark corridor made up of white curtains. We walk halfway down the aisle before the nurse stops suddenly and jerks back one of the curtains. Inside the room is a simple exam table and a tray with a few creepy items on it. The nurse hands me a flimsy white hospital gown and tells me to change into it. I expect her to leave the room but instead she merely turns around to give me some semblance of privacy.
"What are all the needles for?" I ask while changing out of my clothes. The sight of all of the needles, some holding several different colored fluids, makes me queasy. I count twelve needles in all. Ten of them are standing up perfectly straight in a container with the needlepoint sticking up. Two of them are lying side by side next to the container. Those can't all be for me, right?
"We have to take blood samples as well as give you an immunization before you may enter the facility. Please make sure you remove all your
undergarments as well." She adds kindly. Unlike the other officials, the nurse doesn't seem annoyed with my question.
"Um, okay. Uh, do I have to get all of those shots?" I ask feeling rather dreadful at the thought of getting injected with these foreign substances.
She laughs. "We only give you one depending on your blood test results." Then she adds, "Everyone who wishes to enter must be immunized. We will be in close quarters inside the facility and we need to make sure everyone is healthy." She answers.
Phew! I finish changing in silence and then clear my throat to announce that she may turn around. My legs are feeling so shaky that I decide to take a seat on the exam table.
The nurse takes out a plastic bag from underneath the table and puts my clothes, my shoes and even my underwear inside it. "Could I please have your hairband too?" She asks.
I pull the hairband out causing my bun to fall and some of the braid to come undone. "Will I get my stuff back?"
She looks at me apologetically, "Not if you are granted entrance to the facility. You will be provided new clothes inside." She closes the bag with a twist tie and sets it on the floor near the curtain.
My breath hitches at her mention of if I'm granted entrance. My heart starts pounding at an unsteady rhythm and my head feels all light and dizzy.
"Hey, it's going to be okay. Here put your head between your legs. You're panicking." She says calmly while guiding my head down.
My heart feels like it's going so haywire that it may just beat right out of my chest. Maybe I have the virus, I don't know, but right now I feel like I'm dying.
"Deep breaths honey. Here breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out." She strokes my hair in an oddly maternal gesture.
My heart becomes increasingly steady and I feel my body starting to relax again. "What was that? Am I sick?" I sit up with frightened eyes.
"No honey, you only had a panic attack. You’ll be just fine. What is your name?" She asks.
"Willow." My voice seems a little unsteady still so I reiterate, "Willow Mosby."
"Nice to meet you Willow. My name is Nurse Laurie. You need to try not to panic like that again okay?" She says looking at me with concerned eyes.
I nod my head in compliance.
"You will be just fine. Don't worry and if you start feeling a panic attack coming on again, just take deep breaths and focus on calming your body." She pats my leg and then says, "They should be in soon. The testing only takes a few minutes."
"Thank you." I say to her. She smiles and exits the room.
I lie down on the exam table and stare at the ceiling, while taking deep cleansing breaths. I do my best not to look at the needles and strange contraptions on the table next to me. It's so hard to stay calm when I feel like my very world is catapulting out of control. This tent, the needles, the F.E.M.A. facility, the end of the world, it all scares me to death. Last week I was doing homeschool lessons with my mom and this week I'm facing the end of my life, as I know it. "Once upon a time, there was a girl..." I try to tell myself a story to make me feel less afraid but I'm interrupted when three F.E.M.A. officials enter my room. All of them are wearing identifications on their biohazard suits that mark them as doctors. Two of the doctors are male and one is female.
"Willow Mosby?" The woman asks.
I sit up and nod my head.
"We are going to run some tests, is that okay." She asks.
No! No, it's not okay! "Yes." I barely choke out.
They go about taking my vitals. The male doctor, the chubby one, sticks me with a needle none too gently and takes four vials of my lifeblood from me. I wince as he moves the needle around in my vein trying to get the blood to flow faster.
The other male doctor sticks some circular patches just above my heart and on each side of my forehead. A handheld machine relays whatever data he was searching for. They move so quickly that, just as the nurse declared, they were finished within ten minutes. All three of the doctors leave the room without saying anything.
That was so freaky! I look to the exam table and realize they took the container of immunizations with them. Only the two needles that were lying on the table remain. I wonder what that means. What if I was declined? What other reason would they have to not give me a shot? My heart starts accelerating again and my breath quickens. I throw my head between my legs like Nurse Laurie taught me. Taking long deep breaths I succeed in warding off another panic attack.
As if sensing that she was needed, Nurse Laurie opens the curtain and comes to my side. She places my passport just beneath my eyes to where I can read the bright red stamp that states ACCEPTED in bold print.
I look up at her with grateful eyes.
"See, I told you it would be okay," she smiles.
I nod my head, too relieved to speak.
"Okay, so I have to give you an immunization. Once I give you this you will be promptly taken to the facility. I have to read you a disclaimer first though, alright?" She looks at me waiting for my answer.
"Okay." I say a little unsure.
"You will receive one immunization that has not been thoroughly tested by the FDA. By accepting the immunization, you are hereby-releasing F.E.M.A. and or the FDA from any and all liability if this immunization results in adverse side effects or death. Willow Mosby, would you like to accept this immunization by your own free will?" Nurse Laurie asks.
I stare at her rather incredulously. I know that I wanted to be a big girl, being a teen and all, but should I really be left with this decision on my own? "Um, I need to speak to my dad." I say hesitantly.
"Your father has already signed the approval for you to have the immunization. However, we are giving every person over the age of fourteen the opportunity to decline if they so wish." She looks at me sympathetically.
I look at the needles holding the bright foreign liquid and then back up at Nurse Laurie. Clearing my throat, I say at barely above a whisper, "Yes, I accept."
She nods, and lifts up a needle with a dark green fluid that I hadn't realized she was carrying. She gently inserts it into my arm. While the mossy serum is pushed into my blood stream I take a closer look at the vial and notice that it's labeled PROJECT ELE, I shiver when she pulls the needle out.
"Do I have to have those two?" I ask pointing to the remaining ones that were not a part of the set of ten.
She looks at them like they are lethal and replies, "No, those are given as a parting gift to someone who is declined."
"A gift?" I ask skeptically.
"Willow, I don't want to scare you." She answers carefully.
"I was just...curious." I ask hoping that she will shed some light on such a strange 'gift.'
"The yellow one here is supposed to help sustain a life for three years. It doesn't protect against the heat but it could possibly allow someone a fighting chance if they found a way to keep their bodies cool and if they found an untainted food-water source. It's completely untested and it is doubtful that it will work, but we felt compelled to do something. Most countries aren't even providing such an immunization, but we fought for it. The thought of turning away so many is unbearable without the slightest sliver of hope." Nurse Laurie looks at me with sad eyes. I can tell that those eyes have seen a few too many people declined.
"What about the red one?" I ask.
She stares at me in silence for a few moments, deciding whether she wants to share the answer to that question with me. As if realizing that she's already past the point of no return, she answers: "The red one brings death. A swift and painless death."
My eyes bug out of my head, her answer startling me, catching me completely off guard. Why would anyone take the red shot?
"Look Willow, there is only a limited amount of room inside of the shelter and we can't afford to fill those spaces with someone who doesn't have the odds in their favor for survival. Many of the people who are being turned away have some strand, maybe even a latent strand of the virus. Usually those infected go to a ho
spital where they are pumped with morphine and other pain relieving drugs to help their exit from this life to be as painless as possible. Dying of the virus is excruciating." Her eyes glaze a bit as if remembering something from her past. She shakes it off and continues. "This shot would bring a quick and painless death to the person if they so wish to take it." She studies me waiting to see if I am going to break down any second.
My eyes tear up but I remain stoically straight. How am I supposed to process that kind of information? Either way I decide that I will be strong. I have to be strong. Plus, I'm going inside. I've been accepted.
She gives me a sad yet proud smile and says, "You are a brave one Willow. I think you will make it through this just fine."
A guttural scream breaks out from somewhere down the hall startling both Nurse Laurie and myself.
"No!" The person cries. Not just any person, my mom! I jump off the exam table and run out of the room before Nurse Laurie can restrain me.
"Mom!" I yell. I can hear her cries coming from a few rooms down. I open curtains trying to find her and succeed in startling patient after patient until I find her. My mom is hunched over Sebastian holding him in a death grip. She's crying so hard that her back is shaking up and down. Tears spring to my eyes as the panic and fear runs cold through my blood.
"Mom, Sabby!" I run and cling to them. "What's wrong?" I look down at my little brother expecting him to be hurt or worse, dead. He's breathing just fine and looking at me with scared, tear filled eyes. He doesn't understand what's going on, how can he?
My mom doesn't answer me so I look around trying to find out what's wrong. My mom's passport is lying open on the ground. I breathe a huge sigh of relief when I see the ACCEPTED stamp that's splayed across it.
"No, no, no." My mom keeps repeating through her tears while stroking Sebastian's curls.
My dad throws open the curtain and runs in the room. "Alice, what's wrong, what happened?" His voice cracks ever so slightly. I can see that his eyes mimic the same fear mine do. My dad rushes to her side and falls to his knees.
"No, no, no." My mom continually whimpers rocking Sebastian back and forth.
My dad shakes her lightly to get her to answer. "Alice, please tell me what's wrong."
Her arms are holding Sebastian so tight refusing to let him go. I follow my dad's gaze down to my mom's hand. She's clutching something and as if answering my dad's question she lets the object fall to the bed behind Sebastian.
We both look down simultaneously to find Sebastian's cute four-year-old face staring back at us from his passport. Across the bottom of the picture there is a big, ugly, red stamp that states: DECLINED.
"No!" I yell, breaking down in sobs. I clutch Sebastian's back and throw my arms around my mom too.
"This can't be right!" My dad’s voice cracks. He looks behind us to a doctor who is shaking his head.
"I'm sorry sir. Your son has been infected." His eyes look sorry, yet his expression remains controlled in a way that only someone who has had to declare families grim fates can do.
"No, he is coming with us!" My dad demands.
"I'm sorry sir, he cannot be permitted to enter the facility." The man replies. "I will give you a few minutes to say your goodbyes."
"Nobody is saying goodbye!" My dad grabs the front of the doctor's biohazard suit and pulls him so close to his face that you can see my dad's spit land on the clear face shield.
"Sir, remove your hands immediately." Another official standing in the entryway points a gun at my dad. My dad slowly holds his hands up and steps away from the doctor.
My eyes widen in pure shock.
"I'm sorry sir, but you need to say your goodbyes." The man who has a badge stating that he is security, states empathetically. He puts the gun away and escorts the doctor out of the room giving our family some privacy.
"They said they could give him a shot that would allow him to go peacefully, the bastards! They want to put my son to sleep like they would an animal!" My mom says pulling away from Sebastian only slightly. Her face is red and puffy and full of pain. Her eyes are filled with indignation.
"No, no, no." This time it's my dad's turn to be weak. His legs give out beneath him and he falls to the floor. He's crying so hard that his painful moans break my heart into tiny little pieces. My mom moves Sebastian into my arms and goes to kneel beside her husband.
I grasp onto Sebastian as if my life depends on it. He cries and holds me tightly. "Wello, Wello, I so scared Wello." He cries into my chest.
I brush his hair back from his forehead and kiss him on the cheek. "Look at me Sebastian." His giant blue eyes look into mine. I stifle the sob that threatens to unleash itself and say, "You are going to be okay Sabby. We will all be okay. Nobody is going to leave you alone. If you can't go inside, none of us are going inside." Tears of helplessness fall freely down my face.
"No, Willow. You are going inside." My mom looks up at me but keeps her arms around my dad.
"No way!" I yell. "There is no way! I will not leave him!" I yell it so loudly that Sebastian cowers and puts his little hands over his ears.
My dad sits up and wipes his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths, stands up and helps my mom up as well. "Willow, your mom is right."
"No dad!" I cry. "We are a family, remember?"
My dad's eyes are filled with sadness, pain and a hint of understanding. In that moment, I can tell he feels the same way I feel. I can see it there on his face. He comes over and puts his arms around the two of us. Placing gentle kisses on the top of Sebastian and my heads. He takes another deep breath and says, "Willow, you and your mother will go inside. Our family will carry on. I will stay with Sebastian."
"Absolutely not!" My mom declares. "I am staying with Sebastian."
My dad turns to look at my mom. "Alice, I’ll stay with our son. I can’t just leave him. You go inside with Willow."
"No! I can't Henry. I can't!" She crumbles to the floor, the unrelenting sobs starting back up. My dad sits down next to her and pulls her into his arms. He strokes her hair and kisses her tenderly on her forehead, her cheek and her lips. My mom wipes her hands across her nose and says, "I can't do it Henry. I can't go inside and pretend that I didn't leave my baby out here." She sniffles and tears stain her cheeks.
"And I can?" My dad asks her incredulously.
My mom looks at him contemplatively and then answers. "No, I know it's just as hard for you as it would be for me. But, my other baby has a chance Henry. Things are only going to get harder and she needs her father. I know that I can't survive this, I couldn't. You are strong. You will survive. You will do it for me. You will do it for Sebastian. You will take care of our girl." My mom looks up at me with nothing but love and hope.
"No, mom, I need you too. I need all of you." I beg. "We will all stay. The nurse, she told me about the shots. That they could possibly help us if we don't make it inside."
My mom shakes her head and says compassionately. "It's possible Willow. Did she tell you that the other immunizations would negatively react with that shot and could cause death? You can't mix the two."
No, the nurse didn't tell me that! Granted, she probably didn't think I needed that information since I was accepted, but still!
"I didn't take the immunizations Willow. So you are right, we do have a chance." My mom tries to muster up a smile. She looks to my dad whose eyes confirm that he did in fact take the immunizations.
"It's settled then. Sebastian and I will take the shot and we will do our best to survive this. You two will go inside and you will move on. If it is meant to be, we will find you." My mom kisses my dad passionately on the lips then stands up and pulls Sebastian and me into her arms.
"I can't go mom." I cry into her shoulder. My dad comes up behind me and joins in on the family hug. We cling to each other in a mess of limbs and tears.
"I love you so much." My mom cries.
"I love you," My dad whispers.
"Wuv you
." Sebastian whimpers.
I take a deep breath and say a very shaky, "I love you."
This is it, the end of the world for me. I had known the second I entered this tent that my life would never be the same. I wish I had known that my heart would be ripped from my chest and trampled on. I wish I could cease to exist at this very moment, but I know I can't. I have to cling to the hope that my mom and my brother will make it. I have no choice but to keep moving on. I'm broken beyond repair but when the officials come to take my father and me into the facility I force my feet to move. I take one step and then another. My heart feels as if gravity is pulling it down so hard that eventually it may fall right out of my chest and become one with the earth. I look back down the long white hallway to see my mom and my little brother walking in the opposite direction. That's when I feel it fall, my heart, it's gone. My chest is only a hollow shell and it will never be filled again.
My dad puts his arm around my shoulders and together we walk through the heavily leaded doors into our new home.
Project ELE Page 2