The Right Reason to Marry

by Christine Rimmer

Apparently, that was too much for Coco. “Benjamin Killigan, you are not being nice.”

  Ben scowled at her, defiant at first. But then his face kind of crumpled. “Okay.” He set down the star that fit into the steepled roof of the stable and turned to Liam. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that stuff.”

  “Ben.” Liam tried to reassure him. “It’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s not all right. It’s not all right at all.” And he darted around Otto’s easy chair and took off down the hall. They heard his bedroom door slam shut.

  For a moment, no one spoke. There was just Bette Midler singing “Have a Yule that’s cool...”

  Liam glanced down at the baby asleep in his arms, and then back up at Karin. “Maybe I should go.”

  “No, you shouldn’t.” She held his gaze. “Please stay.”

  Her dad backed her up. “Yeah. Don’t go. Your leaving won’t solve anything.”

  For once, Coco had nothing to add. She stood by the sofa, blue eyes big and sad, glancing from one grown-up to the other as though hoping one of them would do what grown-ups are supposed to do and make it all better.

  Karin suggested, “Why don’t you guys go ahead and put the crèche together? I’ll talk to Ben.”

  * * *

  When Karin tapped on her older son’s door, he didn’t answer. She counted slowly to thirty before trying, “Ben?”

  He responded then. “It’s open.”

  She turned the knob and pushed the door inward. Ben sat on his bed hunched over his laptop, looking absolutely miserable and completely not-Ben. Her brilliant oldest child usually took things in stride and never lost his cool.

  Karin asked, “May I come in?” She got a shrug for an answer and decided to consider it a yes. When she sat down beside him, the screen of the laptop showed he’d brought up his favorite video game, but hadn’t started playing it.

  He shut the laptop and set it aside. “What?”

  She wrapped an arm around him. He stiffened at first, but then gave in and sagged against her. She dared to drop a kiss on the crown of his head. “I’m not sure where to start. Maybe if you told me what’s bothering you?”

  He tipped his head back. Their eyes met, but only for a moment. Then he looked down again. “I don’t know, really,” he muttered in the general direction of the floor. “I miss Uncle Sten. And now there’s the baby. It’s not Liam’s fault, I know that. He’s nice, but...” He made a frustrated sound in his throat. “Look. Everything’s just different, okay? Everything’s not the same.” He looked up and their eyes met again. She smoothed his hair. It was one fussy, motherly caress too many. “Mom. Don’t.” He scooted out from under her arm.

  Her heart ached as she let him go. Somehow, she managed to let several seconds of silence elapse before trying again. “Uncle Sten won’t be gone forever.”

  He shot her a look of pure annoyance. “Two years. At least. Until Madison gets through making those movies she already signed up to make.” Sten and Madison would settle right here in the Cove once Madison had honored her outstanding contracts. She said she was giving up acting, that she wanted a different kind of life—a family with Sten, a home in Valentine Bay.

  “In the meantime, though,” Karin reminded her unhappy son, “they’ll be back whenever they can—including over Christmas. They both seem pretty sure they’ll make it home during the holidays.”

  “Mom. I know that. And I just told you. It’s not the same that they come back to visit. Like they’re guests or something.”

  “I’m sorry, honey. It’s just...the way life is. Stuff changes, you know? People move away. But the happy news is that, in Uncle Sten and Aunt Madison’s case, they eventually will come back.”

  “I know, Mom. And I get that you want to make me feel better, but can you please quit telling me stuff I already know?”

  “I’m just trying to find out exactly what has you upset, that’s all. You mentioned the baby...”

  He lifted one shoulder in a sort of half-hearted shrug, but that was all she got.

  She suggested, “So the baby’s just more stuff changing and that makes you feel unhappy?”

  “Mom?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Can we just...not be doing this right now? Can I just go back out there and say sorry again to Liam and we can fix up the manger with the baby Jesus in the middle and just have a nice time finishing up the decorations?”

  “Of course we can. But I do want you to know that I’m here and ready to listen whenever you want to talk some more about this.”

  He dropped his head back and groaned at the ceiling. “Mom.” He must have stretched that word into at least three syllables. “I know. Can we go back out now, please?”

  She ought to just leave it at that. But she couldn’t stop herself from taking one more stab at making things right for him. “I love you, Ben. I always have and I always will. Having another baby in the family can’t change how much I love you or how much Uncle Sten loves you or your grandpa, either. We all love you so much. That’s the one thing that is never going to change.”

  “I know, Mom.” He said it kindly that time, with only a hint of exasperation. “I love you, too.”

  They returned to the great room, where Ben went straight to Liam. “I really am sorry for what I said.”

  “Apology accepted,” Liam answered in that easy way he had. “And you know, I think you’re right about baby Jesus. A little to the side is better than directly under the star.”

  * * *

  At ten that night, Liam was in the office he’d set up at the cottage. With RG to consider, he wasn’t spending as much time at Bravo Trucking as he used to. Having a baby meant rearranging priorities and being more flexible.

  He could get a lot done from home, he’d discovered, working at night when RG was with Karin. He liked to watch the fuel situation closely, change his buying strategy whenever better options presented themselves. And he kept on top of the shippers and the brokers he used. Trucking was a cash flow intensive business. If people started paying late, he needed to know and either stop dealing with them or make sure they started paying timely again.

  The doorbell rang just as he was thinking he would call it a night.

  What do you know? It was Karin—in blue pajamas dotted with snowflakes this time and a green hoodie. Same Uggs as before.

  “Is it too late?” she asked.

  “For you?” He couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “Never.”

  She held up her phone. “My dad will call if Riley wakes up.”

  “You should have just brought him over.”

  “No.” She raked the hoodie off her head, revealing all those untamed curls he loved. “It’s always best to let sleeping babies lie.”

  Liam stepped back and ushered her in. “You want a drink or something?” he offered as he shut the door.

  She shook her head. And then she took a step forward.

  And then, without him having to do anything but open his arms, she was flush against him, all sweet warmth and perfect softness. She surged up. Her mouth met his and clung.

  God. She tasted good. He could kiss her forever. No woman had ever felt as right as she did in his arms.

  She dropped back to her heels, breaking the kiss, but letting him hold her. “I’ve been telling myself that we should...” The words petered out. She frowned up at him, her cheeks pink, her breath coming fast. “I don’t know how to say this.”

  “Sure you do.” He bent and brushed a kiss between her eyebrows. “Take your time.”

  “Could we maybe sit down?” She seemed nervous. It was cute. Like they were back in high school again and she wasn’t quite sure how to act with a guy.

  He took her hand and led her toward the main room. In the sitting area, he turned on the gas fire and pulled her over to sit beside him on the couch. She set
her phone on the coffee table. “Okay. It’s like this. I was thinking that maybe you and I could kind of see where this thing might go between us.”

  Satisfaction filled him. At last they were getting somewhere. He couldn’t resist pressing the point a little. “So you’re finally admitting that we had a thing—that we are a thing?”

  She groaned and covered her face with her hands. “Okay. Let’s not get caught up in the thing controversy again.”

  “Just admit it’s there, between you and me, and I’ll let it go.”

  She dropped her hands, squared her shoulders and drew in a slow breath. “Then yes, okay? It’s definitely there, between us.”

  “It never went away.”

  She pursed up those way-too-kissable lips. “Is this you letting it go?”

  He touched her hair—and she didn’t duck away. Taking total advantage of this perfect moment in which she was finally saying at least part of what he wanted to hear, he guided a wild curl behind the shell of her ear. “So maybe I want to rub it in a little. Sue me.”

  She poked him in the side with an elbow. “You’re just asking for it, mister.”

  “You bet I am.”

  She laughed. And then she sighed. Her cheeks were bright pink. He found her irresistible like this, all shy and kind of awkward. “I was, um, thinking, hoping that we could just have it be between you and me, not say anything to the kids or my dad.”

  He didn’t want to be her secret. He’d never wanted to be that. And he especially didn’t want to be her secret anymore. But he also didn’t want to blow this chance with her. “Yet, you mean. Not say anything to anyone yet.”

  “Yes, Liam. I mean, you know, see where it goes.”

  That didn’t sound so bad—scratch that. It sounded damn good. For now, anyway. “Agreed.” He took her by the shoulders and pulled her close.

  She let him, even tucked her dark head under his chin. They sat quietly, staring into the fire. He stroked her hair some more, kissed the crown of her head and breathed in the citrusy scent of her shampoo. She shifted and let out a sigh.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” The way she said it, he knew there was definitely something.

  “You worried about Ben?”

  She didn’t answer immediately, but when she did, she told the truth. “Yeah, a little. I think he feels kind of left out. Coco’s such a charmer. Her heart is wide open. She’s never had a problem demanding what she needs. Ben’s the serious one and sometimes he kind of fades into the background. Now there’s another boy in the family. Ben’s no longer the only son.”

  Liam stroked a hand down her arm. It felt so good, just to sit here, the two of them, touching. Talking. “And then there’s the baby’s dad who isn’t his dad, a guy who moved in next door and is always butting in on all the family events.”

  “Ben loved the Halloween party,” she reminded him. “And he seemed to have a great time at Daniel’s on Thanksgiving.”

  “But then I kind of pushed my luck with baby Jesus, huh?”

  She chuckled, the sound both sweet and rueful. “Ben does think you’re a good guy, though. He’s said so more than once.” She tipped her head back and met his eyes. Hers were sea-blue in the firelight, and troubled. “The truth is, Ben didn’t really have a great relationship with Bud—I don’t mean Bud was abusive or anything. He was a good man, but kind of hard to talk to. He was gone a lot, working. And when he came home, he was distant and distracted. There were money problems. Plus, Bud hardly knew his own dad. His parents got divorced when he was only two and Bud stayed with his mom, and then she died when he was just nineteen. He didn’t seem to know where to start trying to be a dad himself. He was better with Coco, but with Ben he just kind of wasn’t there.”

  It was a lot, what she was telling him. More than she’d ever said about her husband before. Liam knew he had no right to resent the guy, but he did. For causing Karin pain and making her wary of trying again—because no matter how she tried to be fair to her husband’s memory, it was pretty damn clear that Ben, Sr. had not been around as much as he should have.

  In a weird, twisted and unacceptably selfish way, Liam resented that Karin had married the other guy in the first place. If she’d only waited until he got his head out of his own ass, he would have had a lot easier time convincing her she belonged with him.

  But then, if she’d waited, there would’ve been no Ben and no Coco. And the more he got to know Karin’s kids, the less he could picture a world without them in it.

  She pulled away from him and sat up. “I guess that was way more information than you ever needed.”

  “Get back here.” He caught her arm, but gentled his hold—and his attitude. “Please?”

  “I did love Bud.” She met his gaze, defiant. “But it was young love, you know?”

  He didn’t, not really. Releasing her arm, he trailed his fingers over the worn, soft fabric of her sleeve until he captured her hand. “The kind you grow out of?” He turned her hand over and bent close to kiss the heart of it.

  “The kind that isn’t strong enough to weather the rough patches.”

  He tugged on her fingers until she swayed toward him again. Gathering her in, he tipped up her chin and took her mouth. She opened for him and he sank into the kiss, drawing it out, making it last.

  When he finally lifted his head, he eased both hands under her hair, lacing his fingers at the nape of her neck, tipping her face up to him with slow strokes of his thumbs. “I want to ask Ben if he’ll come with me to Bravo Trucking. I was thinking tomorrow, just him and me, a drive up to Warrenton in the afternoon.”

  “You’re looking for my permission?”

  “I am, yeah.”

  “What if he turns you down?”

  “That’s okay. I’m not gonna pressure him. If he says no, I’ll say it’s an open invitation. If he changes his mind, he just needs to let me know and we’ll make it happen.”

  She dipped her chin in a nod. “It’s all right with me—but be prepared for Coco to want to come, too.”

  “I was more thinking a one-on-one with Ben.”

  “I get it. Just giving you a heads-up.”

  He didn’t want Coco feeling left out. “I’ll take her, too. Just her and me, another time.”

  “That actually might pacify her. But are you sure you want to be driving my kids back and forth to Warrenton to take the Bravo Trucking tour?”

  “I’m sure.” He kissed her again. Because she tasted so good and she’d admitted she wanted him. It wasn’t enough, what she was offering, to be together, but only in secret. Not nearly enough.

  But it was a start.

  And from now on, he needed to have his hands and his mouth on her every chance he got.

  That kiss led to another. And another after that. He actually had her hoodie unzipped before she called a halt.

  “I need to get back.” She zipped up again. “Morning comes early when you’ve got three kids.”

  “Damn,” he said with a smile. “For a minute there, I thought I was about to get lucky.”

  “You are.” She leaned close and caught his earlobe between her teeth. At his groan, she laughed. “Just not tonight.”

  He asked only half-teasingly, “Do you have your doctor’s approval to fool around with me?”

  “I will. My checkup’s on Monday.” She bunched up his shirt in her fist and yanked him close for another smoking kiss. “And this time we’re using two forms of birth control.”

  “I’ve got the condoms.”

  “Great. And after Riley was born, I got an implant before I left the hospital.”

  “Taking no chances, huh?”

  “That’s right.” She kissed him again, but pulled away much too soon. “You’d better come over for breakfast. You can talk to Ben then. I’ll help you out with Coco, say I need her at home to get g
oing on the Christmas baking.”

  “Works for me.” He yanked her close again and covered her mouth with his. For a moment, she gave in and let him hold her.

  But only a moment. “I mean it.” She grabbed her phone. “I need to go home.”

  Reluctantly, he followed her to the door.

  * * *

  The next morning, as usual, Otto came by the cottage for coffee.

  Liam mentioned that he hoped to take Ben up to Warrenton that day to show him around Bravo Trucking.

  “Kissing up to my grandson, huh?”

  “You’d better believe it.”

  “You’ll make Coco jealous.”

  “Coco will get an invite of her own.”

  Otto set his mug down on the table and stared out the slider. It was raining pretty hard, the sound a steady drumming on the roof and the deck. “Is that what Karin needed to talk to you about last night—you taking the kids to Warrenton?”

  Liam shook his head. “The tour of Bravo Trucking was my idea.”

  Otto gave him a long, considering look. “So what did my daughter want to talk to you about last night?”

  Liam got up, got the coffeepot and refilled their mugs. “Lots of things,” he replied, mindful of his promise to Karin that they’d keep their new togetherness just between the two of them for now. “We’ve got a kid. There’s all kinds of stuff we need to deal with, day to day.”

  Otto Larson was nobody’s fool. His mouth curved in a secret smile. “You’re saying you’ll need to spend time, just the two of you, on a regular basis to discuss RG’s care, is that what you’re telling me?”

  “Pretty much.”

  Otto stared out the window some more. Dawn was slowly breaking, revealing a gray, overcast sky. “She had a rough time, with Bud—and don’t get me wrong. Bud wasn’t a bad guy. Just too young, wanting to do the right thing and yet not quite up to the job. You’d better be good to her.”

  “I’m trying, Otto.”

  “I know, son. I like that about you.”

  * * *

  At breakfast, Liam made his move. “I need to head to Bravo Trucking today for a couple of hours. Ben, would you like to ride along with me?”