She’d never asked him outright to keep her nighttime visits with Liam a secret. What if he took her staying here till morning as a signal that she and Liam were outing their relationship? What if he just told her son and her daughter that she was over here? What if he sent Coco to summon them to breakfast?
Uh-uh. No way. The kids were not supposed to know about her and Liam. They weren’t supposed to get their hopes up, to start counting on him to be there, be a real father to them, as the years went by.
Because no matter how sure Liam seemed now—getting down on one knee, whipping out the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen, telling her he loved her and asking her to marry him...
He could so easily change his mind, move back to his big house in Astoria, come by Sweetheart Cove only to pick up and drop off his son.
Coco and Ben would be devastated.
No. That couldn’t happen. Her kids were innocent. They didn’t deserve that kind of pain. They’d already suffered enough in their short lives.
“Liam...?” She heard water running.
The door to the master bath stood open.
The shower.
He was taking a shower.
How could he have just left the bed without waking her up? How could he be so thoughtless?
He knew she should have been back at the other house long before now.
Furious, literally shaking with frustration, she jumped from the bed and started grabbing her wrinkled clothes, yanking them on as fast as she got hold of them.
The water shut off. By then, she’d dropped to the bed again to put on her ankle boots. Liam emerged from the bathroom, a towel around his lean hips, a tender smile on his lips. He looked so manly, lean and tall, like every woman’s perfect fantasy man, his hard biceps flexing as he rubbed his wet hair with a second towel.
And for some reason, his tender smile, that easy way about him, it all just made her madder than ever.
She tugged on the second boot and jumped up to face him. “What is the matter with you?”
He stopped drying his hair. Endless seconds elapsed before he said quietly, “Nothing. Nothing’s the matter with me.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
He tossed the towel on a chair. “You looked tired, so I let you sleep.”
She wanted to start shrieking at him, to grab him and shake him until he realized how careless he’d been. “You knew I needed to get back. The kids will be up now. What am I going to say to them?”
“Karin. You don’t have to say anything to them. They won’t be damaged for life just because you spent the night over here.” He spoke to her so gently, carefully, like she was a crazy person throwing a fit.
And maybe she kind of was. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was behaving very badly. “You are so irresponsible,” she accused, though he wasn’t. He was wonderful, always there when she needed him, always patient and thoughtful and ready to help.
She was totally overreacting, her heart aching from his beautiful proposal she couldn’t allow herself to accept. She knew, absolutely, that one way or another, she was going to lose him. She just didn’t know when it was going to happen.
She wished he would just get it over with and leave her, already.
“Liam, I can’t do this. I’m so sorry, but we have to stop this. I want you to please go see your lawyer. I want you to decide what kind of parenting plan works for you. Then we can come to an agreement on custody and all that. We need to move on. We need to settle this once and for all.”
He just stood there in his towel, looking handsome and bleak, staring at her.
* * *
For Liam, it happened right then, as they stared at each other across a distance of maybe ten feet that suddenly yawned wide as the Grand Canyon. He realized he’d reached his breaking point with her.
He couldn’t take anymore. It just wasn’t going to work with her. He’d knocked himself out trying to show her how much he loved her and wanted a life with her. But she just would not believe him.
At some point, a guy had to salvage the last of his pride, take the diamond ring back to Tiffany & Co. and get on with his own damn life.
“Fair enough,” he said, his own voice dead, flat in his ears. “I’ll talk to my lawyer.”
She had the nerve to look stricken. Like he’d just hurt her. “Good,” she said, the word breaking a little in the middle. “Talk to your lawyer—and you’ll move back to your own house?”
That, he wouldn’t do. “I want time with my son and living here is the best way for me to get that. And truthfully, I promised Ben I wouldn’t leave. I’m living in this cottage for as long as Sten is willing to keep cashing my checks. If you don’t want to be with me, well, that’s up to you. But I live here now, Karin. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter Thirteen
Karin walked out.
She grabbed her coat from the peg by the front door and went back to the other house. What else could she do? She’d pretty much wrecked everything. Better to just get the hell out.
At the main house, they were all gathered around the breakfast table—the kids, her dad, Sten and Madison. She walked in and they all turned and looked at her.
“Where’s Liam?” Ben asked.
She waved a hand, trying to look casual and easy and probably blowing that all to hell. “Oh, he’ll be over in a minute, I’m sure.” Her gaze collided with Sten’s and she knew that he knew something was terribly wrong. She blinked and looked away—but not far enough to escape the concerned frown on her dad’s face.
Right then, the baby monitor on the counter erupted with fussy cries. She had never in her life felt so relieved to hear her baby crying. “I’ll, um, just go take care of him...” And she fled for the sanctuary of Riley’s room.
After she’d fed and changed the baby and pulled herself together a little, Karin returned to the kitchen. The adults had dispersed, which suited her just fine. Coco and Ben were clearing off the table.
“There’s eggs and bacon left for you,” said Ben.
“Great. Thanks.” She put Riley in his bouncy seat and sat down to eat in spite of the fact that she had zero appetite.
Coco stepped close. She wrapped her arms around Karin’s neck, rested her head on Karin’s shoulder and said wistfully, “I love you, Mommy.”
Kids. They always sensed when things were off with the grown-ups. Karin patted the small hands clasped around her neck. “Love you, too. So much.”
Coco pulled away, but then took the seat next to Karin’s. “Sten and Madison and Dirk and Sergei are taking us to the ranch where Aislinn lives today.” Aislinn was the Bravo sister born to Lloyd and Paula Delaney, the one who’d been switched with Madison the day they were born. Madison was slowly getting to know all her newfound brothers and sisters, but she and Aislinn had hit it off from the first. The two shared a special bond. “We’re going to have lunch there,” Coco added. “Madison says Aislinn has rabbits that live on her porch and we get to pet them.”
“That’s great.” Karin sincerely hoped she sounded at least a little enthusiastic.
“Liam never came,” Ben said too quietly from over by the sink.
Karin turned in her chair to meet her son’s serious eyes. “I’m sure he’ll be over later.” Truthfully, she kind of wished that Liam wouldn’t be over at all, though it was both wrong and ridiculous for her to wish such a thing. His son lived here. He was friends with her father. He had actual relationships with her older children.
He’d said it repeatedly himself. He was not going anywhere.
Well, except for as far away from her as he could get. She’d made sure of that.
* * *
Liam spent most of the day at the Warrenton terminal. Around five when he packed it in, he was tempted to take a little detour on the way home to the cottage. There were bars on Bea
ch Street calling his name.
But he intended to be at Karin’s for breakfast the next morning, whether she wanted him there or not. No way he was showing up at her table with a hangover.
Uh-uh. He needed a clear head tomorrow. He would see the kids and reach an understanding with their mother that nothing had changed in terms of RG. He would have his son from nine to noon Wednesdays and Fridays, as per their prior agreement. And she would damn well reach out to him if she needed someone to watch the baby any other time.
At the cottage, he had a beer and nuked himself some frozen lasagna. Once he’d shoved down the food, he considered calling Deke Pasternak and making an appointment to talk about custody and a damn parenting plan. He’d told Karin he would.
But later for that. Right now, RG needed him nearby and available. He was both. Problem solved.
Just as he began considering the big question of whether or not to have a second beer, he heard footsteps out on the deck. For about a half a second, his heart bounced toward his throat and hope exploded in his chest.
But it wasn’t Karin.
It was Ben, sweet, serious Ben. The kid looked apprehensive and that had Liam pissed off at Karin all over again.
He got up and pushed open the slider. “Come on in.”
The wind was blowing, the sky thick with dark clouds, the waves out beyond the beach tossing and foaming. Ben hunched into his down jacket, like a turtle seeking the safety of his shell. “I can’t stay very long.”
Liam stepped out of the way. “Get in here. It’s cold out there.” The boy crossed the threshold and Liam shut the glass door. “Want some hot chocolate or something?”
“No, thanks.” Ben shoved his hands even deeper into his jacket pockets. “So. You and Mom are fighting?”
Liam saw it all in those serious brown eyes. Ben had lost his father. Now he anticipated losing Liam, too—and right now, the boy was waiting for Liam to say something, to somehow ease his fears. Too bad Liam had nothing all that encouraging to say. “Your mom and I are having some problems, yes.”
“What problems?”
“Ben, I can’t go into detail about it, but things aren’t good between your mom and me right now.”
Ben’s face started to crumple—but he kept it together, straightening his narrow shoulders, hiking up his chin. “So, you’re moving out?”
That, he could answer more emphatically. “Nope. I’ll be here. I live here.”
“What about breakfast tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Yeah?”
“You have my word on it.”
“What about Christmas? You still cooking breakfast for us Christmas morning?”
“That is my plan.” If Karin thought differently, well, they would have to discuss it. She would actually have to talk to him. That could be good, right?
Or maybe not.
Ben wasn’t finished. “And will you be there Christmas Eve and are we all going up to the Bravo house for Christmas dinner?”
In spite of how craptacular he felt at that moment, Liam almost smiled. “How come you didn’t ask your mom all these questions?”
Ben gulped. “I kind of had a feeling I would get better answers from you.”
Liam wanted to grab the kid and hug him, but he had a suspicion that any sudden moves on his part wouldn’t be welcome right now. Ben needed reassurance that the ground was solid under his feet, that the people he’d come to count on and trust wouldn’t abandon him, no matter what weird stuff happened between the grown-ups. “I’m not sure about all our specific plans. What I am sure about is that I’m going to be here, just like I said I would. No matter what happens, that’s not going to change.”
“Not ever?”
“Not for a long while, anyway. You’ve got my number.” Ben had his own phone. They’d exchanged numbers back in October, the first time Liam drove him to soccer practice. “Anytime you need to talk to me, you just call, text or show up at my door.”
Ben yanked his right hand from his pocket and stuck it out. Liam shook it.
The hug happened after all when Ben kind of swayed toward him and Liam put his free arm around him.
Ben quickly stepped back. “Okay, then. I just needed to know. See you for breakfast.” He turned and shoved the slider wide, stepped through and closed it. With a last, solemn nod at Liam through the glass, he took off across the deck.
* * *
“What’s going on with you and Liam?” Otto asked Karin that night when the kids were in bed and Sten and Madison had gone upstairs.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Dad. I really don’t.”
“That man’s in love with you. And you’re in love with him. Whatever it is, you need to work it out with him.”
“Stay out of it, Dad.”
He narrowed his eyes at her and put on his stern voice. “Fix it.”
She knew with absolute certainty that she was about to burst into tears. “Please, Dad...”
His hard expression melted as he reached out his big hands and clasped her shoulders. “Aw, honey.”
She sagged against him and whispered, “I messed up. I messed up bad.”
He patted her back. “Now, now. You’ll work it out, I know you will.”
“I don’t think so, Dad. I was terrible to him. He’s not going to forgive me and I can’t say I blame him.”
“Love forgives all. Just give it time...”
An hour later, when she couldn’t sleep, she put on thermal pants and a heavy sweater, her shearling boots, a winter jacket, mittens and a beanie, grabbed Riley’s monitor and went out to sit on the deck. She wasn’t the least surprised when Sten, as bundled up as she was, came out the door behind her and took the empty chair at her side.
All the wise advice she’d given him back in April when he screwed things up with Madison seemed to hover in the cold night air between them, taunting her.
“Colder than a polar bear’s nose,” he said mildly. “At least the wind’s died down a little.”
She wrapped her arms a little tighter around herself. “Don’t start in on me, Sten. Please?”
He gave a wry chuckle. “Talk of the weather really bugs the crap out of you, huh?”
She huffed out a breath. “Okay, fine. Just say it.”
“Not sure where to start. I don’t know what’s wrong between you and Liam, not really.”
She tugged her beanie more firmly down over her ears. “I jumped all over him for no reason at all.”
“Oh, come on. There had to be a reason.”
“Yeah, well, not an acceptable reason. He asked me to marry him and that scared me to death—and let me be clear. I did worse than jump all over him. I told him we were done and he should move back to Astoria and come up with a parenting plan.”
He made a thoughtful sound. “You’re in love with the guy, right?”
She stared out at the restless gray ocean beyond the wide stretch of sand and found it surprisingly easy to tell her brother the truth. “I am, yeah. I am very much in love with Liam Bravo.”
“I used to think you would never marry anyone again, that Bud was your true, forever love, lost tragically at sea, but you’d learned to be happy with the kids, on your own.”
She groaned. “So romantic.”
“Yeah, well. I never did want to think there might be big issues between you and Bud.”
“There were. I never should have married him. He wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready. The love we had was...not that strong.”
“This love you have with Liam, is it that strong?”
She didn’t even have to think about it. “Yeah—but what if I’m wrong? So far, I’ve kept him at a distance by making him promise that what we have would stay just between the two of us. When he asked me to marry him last night, I turned him down. Then I drummed up a fake
reason to break it off between us. I love my children, and you and Dad. But my track record at loving a man? We should face it. It’s not good.”
“Someone very wise once told me that I shouldn’t let getting my heart broken by the wrong person keep me from giving the right person a fighting chance. Take your own advice. Give the right man a chance.”
“How did I know you were going to say that?”
He grinned. “Super painful, isn’t it? When your own words come back to bite you in the ass...”
* * *
The next morning, Liam showed up for breakfast. Coco ran and hugged him. Everyone else played it cool and subdued.
Karin ached all over just to see him sitting there at the table with Riley asleep in a sling strapped to the front of him.
So close.
But no longer hers.
The plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were brought up and reconfirmed. Karin didn’t make a peep when that happened. Liam didn’t have to be hers to be part of the family. He was Madison’s brother and Riley’s dad. And even if he wasn’t hers, Coco and Ben had definitely come to think of him as theirs.
When he got up to go, he still had Riley hooked to the front of him. “So, Karin, how about if I just take RG with me now? You can pick him up at noon, or whatever. Just take your time.”
“Um, that would be great.” She smiled at him. It was more of a grimace, really. But hey, at least she tried. She filled an insulated pack with bottles of breast milk to replenish the stash at his place and sent him on his way.
And then, somehow, she got through her morning and showed up at Liam’s door at noon on the nose. He had Riley all ready to go. The handoff took maybe a minute. She tried not to look directly at Liam. She had this feeling that if she actually met his eyes, she would drop to her knees and start pleading with him to give her one more chance.
In a way, dropping to her knees kind of seemed like a viable approach to this huge problem she’d created. But she was so afraid he’d turn her down, that he’d realized he’d been all wrong to want to build a life with her. He would say no.
The Right Reason to Marry Page 17