by Will Blue
"Yeah. I had a girlfriend, Farrah. We started dating sophomore year , did the whole prom king and queen thing." Both men got more comfortable. They laid down and continued on.
"So, Farrah was a good girl. She wanted to save it for marriage. I respected that. After graduation, I went to Hampton like my parents wanted me to and she did the same with Spelman. We thought that we could make the long distance thing work."
"So what happened? Y'all just grew apart?"
"Kinda. What happened was my freshman roommate, Tim. I had thought about guys before, but not really. Anyway, one day, he had just got out of the shower and was wearing only a towel. I didn't realize I was staring, but he caught me. He dropped the towel and... well... you can figure out the rest."
"Bye bye virginity, huh?"
"Yep. We messed around a lot before he transferred schools after winter break. After that, I got a little wild. I did my thing, you know. But I have calmed my happy ass down now. I am looking for more."
"So what happened with Farrah?"
"We broke up that summer and some dude got her pregnant that fall." Adrian started to laugh. "I guess we both gave in to dick."
"And you didn't know you liked dudes till then?"
Adrian shook his head as he got under the covers. Braylon followed. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You know. When did you start messing around? When did you start noticing guys?"
"I don't know." Braylon knew he couldn't be as honest as Adrian had just been. He wouldn't even know how to answer.
Would he say that he started messing with girls and guys by the age of fifteen or that his father had taken away his innocence long before then? Would he even be bisexual if his father had not crossed that line? Maybe it could have been hereditary. Brandon and Braylon genetically inherited some kind of trait from their father, if you would classify him as being gay.
Braylon wished that he knew the answers to his questions. He wished that he could be forthcoming with Adrian about his past. Besides the recent conversation he had with Brandon, he had never told a soul. Even when Brandon tried to talk about it later, Braylon blocked the conversation. He wasn't ready to have it. His father's behavior during the brief trip home had opened back up some old wounds.
Adrian was the first to fall asleep which left Braylon to his thoughts. Still naked under the covers, he cuddled up to Adrian. He held him close as his dick rested on Adrian's firm backside. He felt Adrian begin to stir under him.
"Oh, by the way," Adrian said as he arched his butt into Braylon. "Don't think I'm not going to want some ass too."
Chapter 17
Brandon had enough of shying away from the apartment. Why was he doing it in the first place? This thing with his brother was not going to go away that easily. Some kind of confrontation was bound to happen eventually. Besides, the apartment belonged to the both of them. Why should Brandon feel like the outcast when they both had done dirt? In his opinion, Braylon was the one that started the whole mess by going after Adrian and then later Jerrell. Couldn’t Braylon let him explore and be happy?
When Brandon got home, he half expected the place to be a mess. Although neither twin liked to clean, Braylon was the sloppier of the two. After a few days of not being at the house, Brandon was sure that clothes, dishes, and half smoked blunts would be laying around. However, the place was still rather put together.
The apartment was quiet. No one seemed to be home. Although Brandon was no longer trying to tip toe around his brother, he was grateful for not having an immediate incident with him.
Brandon went into his room and laid down on his bed. He missed the comforts of being in his own dwellings. Don’ya and Travis had been great hosts and he even had a cool time playing around with Evan, but there is nothing like being back in your own element. Never before had his bed felt so comfortable.
The lull of the ceiling fan above had just about put Brandon to sleep. The sound of Braylon getting home caused any ideas of rest to leave his body. Was this about to be the showdown?
Brandon heard the steps down the hall. The footsteps were becoming slower as they got closer to his closed door. First there was a knock and then Braylon’s head peeping through.
“Hey,” Braylon said. He did not know what else to say. Brandon responded back with the same.
It had been a while since he had seen his brother. He knew the wrong that he had done, but Brandon had been no saint either. Braylon did not know if he was feeling mad, guilty, vengeful, or what.
“Look, bruh. Can we talk please?” Braylon’s request was met with a motion for him to come inside the room. He took a seat on the bed. “I think I need to explain some things to you.”
“You think?” Brandon chuckled at Braylon’s opening statement. He sat up in the bed. He debated if he should stand for this.
“What you thought you saw at the restaurant is not what you thought you saw. We were just talking and having a good time.” Brandon scoffed at Braylon. He was not buying the apologetic bit. His attitude angered Braylon and brought him to his senses a little. “But even if it was a date, that was my dude to do it with.”
“You ain’t even want him until I had him,” Brandon shot back. “You wasn’t even checking for Jerrell like that!”
“So that gives you the right to fuck him?” Braylon was the first to stand to his feet. Brandon followed. “My own brother couldn’t even wait until things to cool down before he tried to take what was mine!”
“I didn’t have to try hard. He came to me since you are such an asshole!”
“You benefited from my sloppy seconds! Let’s call a duck a duck here. I didn’t want his ass so he tried to make himself feel better by trying to get you. You ain’t do shit, bro! The only reason why he wanted your fucking ass is because we share the same fucking genes. If you were just some random ass nigga, you would have never have gotten him!”
Braylon had just voiced all of Brandon’s insecurities about Jerrell in one angry nut shell. In that moment, he hated his brother for that. For speaking the truth that Brandon had tried to deny. It was probably right.
“Fuck you!” Brandon spat. His fists began to ball up. The fact wasn’t lost on Braylon. He didn’t want to come to blows with his brother, but he was no punk. Neither of them was.
Braylon’s cell phone rang while the two men were engaged in a stare down. Braylon did not make a move to answer or silence the call.
“Ain’t you gonna get that? It’s probably Jerrell’s hoe ass wanting some more. Maybe he wants a threesome.” Braylon had to laugh. The tragedy of the situation was almost comical.
“He actually liked your ass, you know that? What I was trying to tell you before you started popping off was that at the restaurant I gave him my blessing to see you. I ain’t know you was going to be there and shit. The nigga really wanted to be with you. At first I was mad. I ain’t gonna lie, but you are my fucking brother. I want you happy.”
Now it was Brandon’s phone that started to ring. He took it out of his pocket and silenced it without looking at the caller.
“If you want me happy so bad, why you go after Adrian? Hell, why do you go after any dude that you know that I like?” As Brandon’s intensity started to rise, Braylon started to calm down a bit.
“Bro, half the time, I don’t even be knowing that shit! With Adrian, okay I knew. But you got to be a man and go for yours too. I am not going to stifle myself so that you can shine, especially when you already have the capability to shine just as much. Just be yourself and exit out all that insecure shit. You can get any dude you want.”
Braylon’s phone started ringing again just as Brandon’s stopped. Both boys found it odd. Braylon decided to answer this call. It was their mother.
“Mama?” Braylon put the call on speaker phone. The sounds of their mother sobbing were loud and painful to hear.
“Baby, it’s your Aunt Sharon. She was in an accident and…” The tears choked Shirley up.
“Is
she okay, Mama?” Brandon asked inching forward to where his brother stood with the phone. Shirley didn’t answer. She only cried harder. The brothers looked at each other. Tears began to form in their eyes.
“We will be there in a few hours, Mama. We love you.”
Chapter 18
As soon as the boys got home, they were already delegated tasks. She sent Braylon and Frank off to the grocery store to pick up a few things while she and Brandon went to Shirley’s house to pick up a nice suit for her to be buried in right after they finished writing an obituary for the newspaper. While there, they picked up a few family pictures for the program.
Two days later, Shirley, Frank, and the twins had opened their house for all the mourners to come before the funeral the next day. It seemed that Shirley was working off of nervous energy. She couldn’t sit down. She was afraid to. She had been cooking and cleaning since five o’clock that morning. She had barely got any sleep in between crying and making funeral arrangements.
The men of the family did all that they could do to help, but the loss of her only sister was causing Shirley to run herself ragged. Nothing could be too clean. No amount of food was enough. Every detail of the services was run through ten times or more. The viewing had been earlier that day which was followed by the repast now in progress.
A beautiful picture of Sharon that they had blown up at Kinko’s was placed by the front door by the guest sign in book. Friends and family had been in all day bringing in flowers, cakes, buckets of store bought chicken, as well as home cooked items. With all the food coming in, Shirley made sure every visitor ate or left with some kind of plate for later. She busied herself organizing things, cleaning after guests, and making sure everyone had signed the book.
The twins had stayed by the front door for the most part of the evening. Their duties had been to meet and greet the guests as they came in, many of whom they had not seen in ages. There were countless ‘Well, look how you two have grown’ and ‘my, aren’t you two so handsome’ statements. At one point, they wished that they could each wear a sign around their necks that said their age, college, and marital status. They had become too tired of answering the same five questions over and over again.
Towards the end of the night, Shirley had finally worn herself out. Upon Frank’s insistence, she had gone upstairs to lay down a spell. The men promised to see to the guests out and clean things up afterwards.
The last of the guests leaving was the Saxon family. Their 20 year old daughter, Irina, was definitely interested in the brothers. Even after her parents had made their way to the car, she lingered a bit longer to talk to Braylon. After a quick goodbye and thanks for coming, Braylon closed and locked the front door. They now had an empty house.
Frank sat on the couch drinking out of a Coke can. Both brothers knew that their father had poured a little extra in there after their mother had retired.
“See, that’s the shit I am talking about right there,” Frank said as he gestured towards the front door. “That girl is a pretty young thing, the type that you could settle down with, Braylon. And she was just throwing herself at you. Why won’t you just give up this faggot shit and make me and your mama happy? It’s not too late for you.”
“Why don’t you just shut the hell up, dad,” Brandon responded. He was not in the mood at all.
“Did I ask your fat ass to participate in this conversation?” Frank turned his attention to Brandon. “I would say the same thing to you if everyone didn’t know you were a fairy. I raised you both to be MEN! Not fucking fudge packers! You were supposed to get married, have children, and take care of me and your mother. Not lead this life that will send you both straight to hell.”
“So what does that make you, huh” Braylon had enough of his father’s hypocrisy. How dare this man preach to them about right and wrong after what he had done?
“What does that make me?” Frank asked indignantly. “I am your father!”
“No! You are a child molester, a liar, and a rapist! You took advantage of your two young boys and yet you think you have the right to judge us. If anything you made us who we are!”
“You are delusional, boy!” Frank got off the couch and stood in Braylon’s face. “That devil done got in to you.”
“Is Frank Hayes afraid to face his own demons?” Brandon stepped up and now the man was surrounded by his accusers. “When we were just nine years old, you molested us. You made us do things that no child should do. That no father should ever want to do to his own kids! And now here you are to judge us like we are the sinner?”
“You are sinners! How dare you pin these things on me?” He could feel the heat from both of the boys. This was an uncomfortable position to be in. Braylon’s eyes began to burn holes into him as he spoke.
“We are your baby boys, Frank. Whether we would be gay or straight without your wrong doing, we will never know. Perhaps we were born this way. Or maybe it is indeed your fault. We don’t know. But one thing we do know is that when and if we do have children, we will never and could never subject them to the nasty, filthy things that you did.”
“Oh my Lord!” Shirley cried out from the top of the stairs. She gripped her heart as tears ran down her face. She had heard everything.
Her decent down the stairs was slow. No one made a sound. The men were too shocked to. With one hand still at her chest, she pointed the other straight at her husband. It shook as she tried to find the words to say.
“Shirley…” Frank finally managed to say. She got closer up to him and once in arms reach, she slapped him.
“You!” She wanted to slap him again, but she felt out of control of her own body. All she could do was cry.
Stunned by the slap, Frank tried to compose himself. Once he was able to formulate something to say, Shirley felt the strength to slap him again.
“Get out!” She demanded. “Just get out of my house!”
It took Frank a second to move, but he grabbed his coat and keys without a fight. As soon as the front door closed, Shirley collapsed into the sofa. Her cries sounded more like torturous screams. The teary eyed twins sat down on either sides of her and tried to give her comfort. She grabbed their hands tightly in hers. The emotions the boys felt were not caused by their father or what he had done. They wept because of their mother’s pain. They clutched her tightly as she sobbed.
“I am sorry,” she said incessantly. “I didn’t know! Why didn’t I know? I should have known! My boys! My sweet innocent little boys! Please forgive me. I didn’t know.”
Brandon and Braylon put their heads on their mother’s shoulders. They never loosened their grip on each other. They just cried together. The twins stayed silent. No words could begin to repair the damage done.
Chapter 19
Frank had not shown up to the funeral the next day. It was best that he hadn’t. Braylon and Brandon stayed home with their mom for as long as they could before heading back down south. They didn’t want to leave her, but they had to. They did, however, promise to come back next weekend if they could.
Saying goodbye to their mom was especially hard this time around. Normally, they left knowing that she would be okay and that she would slip into her normal routine of perhaps what some would call blissful ignorance, but, what about now? The truth was out. And even worse, she didn’t have Aunt Sharon to confide in.
As time went by, the boys did fulfill their promise to come up more often. Frank was now completely moved out the house and Shirley had filed for divorce. They worried about her being by herself, but she always put up a brave face around them. She seemed to be doing okay and she even went on a date once. Neither Brandon nor Braylon really wanted to know about their mother’s dating life. It just felt a bit weird. They just wanted her happy.
As for the brothers, they were doing okay as well. After the drama of the trip, they were able to really sit down and talk. Each man voiced how they felt and they dealt with things like they should have done all along.
Braylon and
Adrian made it official. They were now a couple. After all the one night stands and meaningless encounters, Braylon finally decided to quit playing the field and settle down. Now, this was not an easy transition, but he had done it without cheating even once. He was happy with what he had with Adrian. It was a new chapter to his life. He was even able to become actual friends with Jerrell. Not close friends, but they were cool nonetheless.
Brandon and Jerrell, however, was a done deal. Brandon did eventually apologize for how everything went down, but he did not desire a renewed relationship. If he was going to ever feel like he was not under his brother’s shadow, he could not do it with his brother’s ex plaything. Besides, he now had the confidence that he could do better and get the man that he envisioned when reading ‘The Secret’.
August 7th was Adrian’s birthday. A small get together was planned for the day before. Braylon and Brandon’s apartment served as party central. Many of the party goers were gay or bisexual so Adrian and Braylon did not hold off on the public displays of affection. It was funny to Brandon to see a softer side of his brother.