by Cheryl Holt
“Precisely.”
“If you’re accepting Jane as your niece, what does that mean for her? What does it mean for me and Bobby?”
“I guess it means I have three more mouths to feed.”
“We’re staying?”
“You’re staying.”
“I’m so glad.” She smiled, then she threw herself against him, and she hugged him tight. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been so afraid about what you might decide.”
He wasn’t accustomed to such a blatant display of emotion, and he gruffly muttered, “You didn’t have to be afraid.”
“Yes, I did! You’ve been so grouchy about our arrival.”
“I’m never grouchy.”
“Ha! You’re grouchy all the time.”
“In my own defense, I often don’t feel very spry, due to my wound. And if you had my financial burdens, you’d be grumpy too.”
“I suppose I would.”
She nodded in sympathy, her affection undeniable, and his heart flip-flopped in his chest. Suddenly, it seemed he was infatuated as an adolescent boy. Was he smitten? Was she?
The notion was too ludicrous to contemplate, and he couldn’t bear to be confronted by her burgeoning regard. She was a very typical British girl who’d been raised in a world where the rules of courtship were very clear. It would never occur to her that there were men like John who would behave in amorous ways, but without matrimony as the objective at the end.
He would never wed Winnie, but it wasn’t because of any of the normal reasons that might apply. Their social standing and rank were probably equal, and with her having lost all after her father died, she wasn’t much of a catch. But he wasn’t concerned over her lack of a dowry. No, it was a different issue entirely.
With his career in the military having ground to an ignominious conclusion, he’d returned to Dunworthy forever. His brother, Duncan, had provided him with a chance to escape, but he’d squandered it through reckless conduct. He was used to the isolation and the seclusion. He didn’t like it, but he was used to it.
A beautiful, educated woman like Winnie who’d grown up with the finer things in life could never be content with the meager options Dunworthy had to offer. Gradually, the local, rural people would grind her down.
If he foolishly considered marriage, she might be happy for awhile, but rapidly, she’d become bored and restless. She’d blame him for tricking her into staying. She’d rue and regret and wish he hadn’t shackled her to his side.
He wasn’t about to let her depart though. There appeared to be something he wanted from her, something he needed, and until he discovered what it might be, she would remain right where she was.
“Why did you fight a duel?” she asked.
“It’s such a dull story I can’t believe you’d be interested.”
“Tell me.”
He stared at the ceiling, debating. Why not tell her? It wasn’t exactly a secret. “Have you met my friend, Freddie Townsend?”
“Yes, I’ve met him, and I’m sorry to inform you that I don’t like him.”
He snorted with amusement. “Why not?”
“The one occasion we spoke, he denigrated you, and he tried coaxing me to denigrate you too—as if we were conspirators.”
“It sounds like Freddie. He’s always been a schemer.”
“Why are you friends with him?”
“I can’t really explain it. He’s an old habit I can’t break.”
“Was it his fault you were kicked out of the army? It’s the rumor that’s circulating.”
“It was his fault, but it wasn’t too. I’m an adult, and I make my own choices. He lured me into a financial deal that was to have earned me some quick money.”
“Is there such a thing as quick money?” she inquired.
“I’m quite certain there’s not, but he convinced me it was possible. I was that stupidly desperate.”
“It fell apart?”
“That’s putting it mildly.” He shook his head with disgust. “We were helping a fellow import some gems—diamonds—that had been brought in from Africa.”
“Diamonds! My goodness.”
Freddie had been mesmerized by stories from his acquaintance, Holden Cartwright. Holden had met a man at a gambling club in London who’d been one of Sir Walford’s old army chums. Supposedly, he’d been an investor in a mine in Africa, and he’d hoped to smuggle the gems into the country.
It hadn’t been illegal precisely. He simply hadn’t been keen for certain people—mostly his partners—to learn of his windfall. Freddie had jumped to help Holden who, unbeknownst to John, was a fiend, and he’d enlisted John who’d grown up smuggling and understood it better than anyone. And John constantly needed funds for Dunworthy.
Yet with Holden, nothing was ever as it seemed. He typically had separate schemes he was pursuing. It had all collapsed when he’d seduced the man’s wife, but the fellow had accused John of being the culprit. Then the diamonds had disappeared.
The hideous morass had ended with John being maimed in the duel, disgraced, and kicked out of the army.
“The diamonds vanished,” he said, “and then, the money vanished. I never figured out what happened to any of it, but our buyer accused me of swindling him. And he accused me of having an affair with his wife, but I’d never even met the woman.”
“The buyer is the man with whom you dueled?”
“Yes. I responded to his insults like a lunatic, and it served me right for nearly getting myself killed. I know better than to let my temper flare.”
“Was he wounded too?”
“No, just me, but could we talk about another topic? Or could we not talk at all and simply enjoy the peace and quiet?”
“I’m not about to be quiet. Not after you’ve tantalized my curiosity so completely. You were drummed out of the army, and you came home to Dunworthy. Why?”
He scowled. “Where else would I have gone?”
“Will you ever leave again?”
“No. I had my chance to flee when I was sixteen and joined the army, and I blew it. Now I’m trapped.”
“It’s not such a bad place though, is it? You have your own castle, and you’re lord and master of it.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily deem it a benefit.”
“It is a benefit!” she insisted. “The world kicked you in the teeth, and you had your castle waiting for you. You had somewhere to slither back to.”
“That’s true. I should remember it more often.”
“Yes, you should. The world kicked me in the teeth, and I ended up working as a governess.”
He chuckled. “A fate worse than death, I’m sure.”
“My post at Benton was my one and only job, and I had to fake my resume in order to land it.”
“Winifred Watson!” he teased. “I’m shocked—shocked!—to hear you’d behave so egregiously.”
“It was duplicitous of me—I admit it—but I had no experience and no idea how to find a job.”
“So you falsified some references?”
She grinned. “Yes.”
“I can’t decide if I should be aghast or impressed.”
“Ultimately, I got my comeuppance though. It was all very nice until I was fired for insubordination. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut when I should have, and since then, it’s dawned on me that I don’t have the meek personality required to be a governess.”
“Were Bobby and Jane your sole charges?”
“No. They have another half-sister named Daisy. We lived together in a pretty cottage in the woods.” She sighed and snuggled closer. “We were a family.”
“Yet you were evicted.”
“Yes. My path has been extremely rocky since my father died, so don’t expect any sympathy from me over your plight. When matters turned sour for you, you had a home and relatives to take you in.”
“I’ll stop complaining.”
“I’d appreci
ate it.”
They were quiet for a bit, then he said, “You cleaned my office.”
“You noticed! I was wondering if you ever would.”
“You’re making my life better and easier.”
“Someone should. It’s not as if your lazy cousins feel any duty to you.”
“Isn’t that the truth?” He shifted her so he could study her eyes. “I’m going to ask you a question, and don’t refuse immediately. You have to think about it.”
“What is it?”
“I’d like you to stay at Dunworthy.”
“Yes, and I accept your generous offer.”
“I need something more than that too.”
“What more could there be?”
“I want you to be my mistress.”
He hadn’t meant to blurt it out so abruptly, and as he might have predicted, she was incensed.
“Be your mistress? Absolutely not. Why would such a notion occur to you?”
“It was our antics in the hot springs pool.”
“What about them?” she churlishly said.
“We share a powerful physical attraction, and we should act on it.”
“We’re not beasts in the field. We’re adult human beings, and we can control our worst impulses.”
“Why should we?”
She yanked away and slipped off the bed before he realized she would escape. She glared down at him, appearing irked and rumpled and adorable.
“We’re not misbehaving like this, and I can’t deduce why I let you tarry in here for a single second. I must have lost my mind.”
“I have that effect on females.”
“I’m sure you do, and you have to go.”
“Not until we discuss this.”
“There’s naught to discuss. I’m not interested, and you’re leaving.”
He ignored her protest. “I’ll allow you to remain, but how will we manage it? I can’t look at you without speculating over how swiftly I might be able to take off your clothes.”
She shrieked with offense and clapped her hands over her ears as if she could block out his words. “Don’t you dare spew risqué comments in my presence.”
“I won’t lie about my intentions. This sort of potent temptation can wear a person down.”
“Speak for yourself,” she snapped.
“If you won’t agree to an affair, how will you stand it? We’ll dance around each other until I’ve driven you mad.”
“You’ve already driven me mad.”
“Then there’s no reason to decline, is there?”
“There’s every reason!” she huffed.
“Name one.”
“I grew up in a moral, virtuous household. I was taught right from wrong, and I recognize a sin when I’m confronted with it. I can’t believe you view me as having such a loose character.”
“I don’t think you’re loose,” he claimed. “Not yet anyway, but you’re not nearly as decent and proper as you imagine. I’m betting I can corrupt you.”
“I don’t want to be corrupted! I want to wed a husband who loves me. I want to have a home of my own and a place where I belong. I don’t want to simply frolic on a mattress with a man I barely know!”
It was quite a speech, and after she’d uttered it, she was a tad stunned.
“How about if we make a deal?” he asked.
“What type of deal?”
“You crawl into this bed with me, and we’ll carry on like married people. Then tomorrow, I’ll marry you.”
“Tomorrow? After I’ve ruined myself? Don’t be ridiculous, and I’m not stupid. You’d never follow through.”
He grinned slyly. “You say that as if you don’t trust me.”
“I don’t trust any male—especially you.”
“Why is that precisely? You’ve never explained your aversion. Did some idiot break your heart?”
“Yes, some idiot broke my heart.”
“Who was it?”
“I won’t talk about him.”
“Yes, you will.” He sat up and went over to her, and he pinned her against the dresser. “You might as well spit it out. I won’t stop pestering you until you tell me what happened.”
“Fine, you big lout. Once upon a time, I was betrothed.”
“What ended it?”
“He found out about my father’s penury, and he changed his mind.”
“So he was just after you for your money?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not odd, is it? Don’t most men hope to wed for money?”
“He jilted me at the altar.”
“Oh.”
“It was a few weeks after my father died. I was counting on him to help me plan and regroup. Instead, I had to face all my tribulations alone. It was very scary.”
“Since he scooted off at the earliest opportunity, you’re lucky he left. What if you’d actually wound up shackled to such an unreliable cretin?”
She pondered his question, then frowned. “I never considered that. I’ve simply fumed over how he humiliated me.” She nodded briskly. “I am lucky he left.”
“Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get back to the topic at hand.”
“Let’s not. I won’t argue about a liaison that will never transpire.” She put her palms on his chest and shoved him, but he wouldn’t budge. “I can’t breathe when you’re looming over me. Move!”
“No.”
“Ooh, you can be so pig-headed.”
“Yes, I’ve always heard that I am.”
He gripped her waist, and she was so tiny, it was easy to pick her up and toss her on the bed. She sputtered and attempted to slink away, but he pounced on her before she could. She was a maiden, so she didn’t understand how addicting lust could be, but he was a soldier who’d traveled the world, and he’d had plenty of lessons on how hotly passion could sizzle.
He’d tried to clarify for her how physical attraction couldn’t be ignored, but she hadn’t believed him, and she had a very sensual nature. She just didn’t realize it.
He merely needed to lure it to the fore so she’d crave what only he could give her. For if they didn’t tumble into an amour, how would they ever interact in a sane fashion? They’d set the castle on fire with their unsatisfied desire.
It was clear she was about to protest his overbearing manner, but he couldn’t listen to her complaints. He closed the distance between them, and he kissed her as she deserved to be kissed.
She was so beautiful, full of vigor and sass, with an aura of strength and vulnerability that made a man eager to tame her, that made a man eager to tarry by her side forever. He didn’t imagine forever was in the cards for them, but for the foreseeable future, he would be spending an inordinate amount of time misbehaving with her.
As he started in, her objections ceased, and he simply kissed her again, then kissed her some more. At first, she grudgingly joined in, but quickly, she was participating with incredible enthusiasm.
When they’d been in the pool together, he’d restrained himself, but his hands were too curious to be idle. They were desperate to learn her shape and size, to roam over every delicious inch of her torso so he could imprint the details into his memory.
He riffled his fingers through her hair and stroked them over her shoulders and arms. With her attired in just a nightgown and robe, it felt as if she was wearing nothing at all, as if he was touching her skin to skin.
He broke off to nibble a trail down her neck, to her bosom, to her pretty, pert breasts. He played with her nipples, pinching and squeezing them, then he sucked a hardened tip into his mouth.
She arched up and frantically asked, “What are you doing?”
“I’m showing you how much fun we could have—if you’d agree.”
“I’ll never agree.”
“We’ll see, won’t we?”
“Yes, we will.”
He dipped to her breast again, and he toyed w
ith it until she was squirming, struggling to be nearer the pleasure, but to escape it too.
His own lust was burning at such a fevered pitch he couldn’t control himself much longer. If he’d been the bully she constantly accused him of being, he’d have forced her to supply what she didn’t choose to provide. But he wasn’t a bully, and when she finally succumbed, it would be because she was willing and excited to proceed.
In the interim, he would torment her incessantly until her virginal body couldn’t abide the stimulation he was bestowing, and he’d barely have to expend any effort. She’d joyfully relent.
He slowed and drew away, and he stared down at her, thinking she wasn’t his yet, but she would be very soon.
“I like you better when I’ve kissed you senseless,” he said.
“And I like you better when you stay in your own room.”
“No, you don’t. You’re glad I’m here. You’re glad I visited.”
After a lengthy hesitation, she mumbled, “I might be glad.”
“Ha! You insisted you couldn’t be corrupted, but just you wait.”
“You say that like a threat.”
“It was a promise, Winnie.”
He slid away and stood, straightening his hair and clothes. She appeared young and bewildered, as if she couldn’t figure out what had happened to her, which was precisely the perception he’d been trying to create.
“If you’re bent on seducing me,” she asked, “how will I ever stop you?”
“Why would you want to stop me? You can’t anyway. So don’t fret and don’t frown.”
“I can’t help it. I’m absolutely terrified of you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“I am, John. I truly am.”
He shrugged. “Well, good. If you’re terrified, you won’t be paying attention, so it’ll be easier for me to coerce you.”
He whipped away and strolled out, and he didn’t pause to peek out the door, didn’t wonder if anyone might be walking by. He simply stepped into the hall, and suddenly, Jane was standing there. In the dim light and with her in a white nightgown, she looked like a ghost.
He blanched and lurched back as she said, “Lord John, it’s very late. What brings you to this part of the castle?”
“I was…ah…discussing some important issues with Miss Watson. Why are you up?”