by April Lust
“No,” Amelia replied, smoothing the sheets over the air mattress. “My father tends to stick with what works, which is moral intimidation. And you’re the first...” she trailed off, still unsure of what to call him.
“And I’m sure as hell not about to tune you up,” he said seriously.
She smiled. “I know that.” That, at least, she was confident in. She had no idea if he loved her, but at least she was safe with him.
He reached over, tracing his thumb down her cheek. When she looked up at him he buried his other hand in her soft hair. “Amelia,” he said, his voice low. “I-”
Several motorcycles revved loudly, making her jump. She heard Taylor call a hello to Jimmy. Ethan eased back and she returned to smoothing the sheets.
“Wanting you gets in the way,” he said as he shook out a blanket. “I keep meaning to talk to you and I keep wanting to take you to bed instead.”
There was the honesty they’d promised each other. Amelia’s cheeks heated up at his blunt words and the desire in those dark blue eyes.
“I’ve missed you at night,” she admitted.
“Good. I want you to miss me like I miss you,” he said roughly.
Her eyes filled with tears.
“What?” he asked. “I was trying to make you feel better! What’s wrong?”
“I do miss you,” she whispered. “I miss you so much. And it feels like we’re never going to get into that comfort zone with each other. And if don’t then all of this...” Amelia swung her hand, gesturing at both of them. “It’s all just going to fall apart and...” She couldn’t go on, not without the desire to sob getting the better of her. She caught her breath rapidly.
Ethan pulled her against him, disarranging the sheets and blankets she’d just straightened, pulling her into his lap. “I know, baby,” he said against her hair. The thought of losing her sent his pulse racing. “That’s why I brought you out here with me. I want us to talk. Without all the distractions and the bullshit.”
She nodded against his chest. His t-shirt was wet with her tears. “Okay. We’ll do that honesty thing.”
He tilted her chin up so she was looking at him. “Sounds good to me. Amelia...I meant what I said. I want to marry you.”
Her heart jerked, skipping several beats.
“We’re having a kid together,” he went on. “I want this to work.”
She eased back, away from the heat of his body, away from the distracting desire. “I want it to work, too,” she agreed. But not for exactly the same reasons, apparently.
Chapter 23
Ethan
“Hey, what the hell took you so long?” Ethan demanded when he walked out and saw Jimmy opening a beer.
Jimmy sighed. “More custody shit. Liz didn’t show at the right time, she says she told me she was going to be late, but I know she didn’t because I would have written it down. She was four hours later than she should have been and it really freaked the girls out. And she didn’t want to hear it when she finally got over to the house, of course. Because she’s never wrong.”
Ethan could tell that Jimmy didn’t really want to talk about it. “Well, drink up,” he said casually. “You’re a few beers behind and we’ve got a steak on the grill with your name on it.”
“Sounds good to me,” Jimmy said tiredly. Then he seemed to notice the woman standing at Ethan’s side. “Hey, you’re Amelia, right?”
“It’d be super awkward if I weren’t,” Amelia said with a smile. She held out her hand. “Lucky for you, I am. I didn’t get your name, though.”
“Jimmy,” he answered, giving her a smile. “I’m the secretary at The Angel’s Keepers.”
“Is that a lot of work?”
“Not lately,” he said. “We’ve been having some--well, I guess you know all about the issues. I’m really hitting this out of the park, aren’t I?”
Ethan gave him a sarcastic thumbs up. “Doin’ great.”
Amelia laughed. “It’s okay. You don’t have to put on the kid gloves. My father is making things hard for you. And he’s completely wrong. How many kids do you have?”
The conversation turned to Daisy and Hope as the delicious smell of grilling meat wafted over the campground. She learned that his daughters were six and eight years old, respectively, and that Hope was mature, quiet, and in the gifted program for math at her school.
“The only girl in the room,” Jimmy said. “But she kicks ass and takes names there.”
Daisy, the six-year-old, was much more outgoing and impulsive. “My little firecracker. A little braver than I want her to be while she’s still so little.”
Amelia rubbed her stomach, wondering when the last time her own father had looked so proud of her was. Or if he’d ever been as enamored for her as Jimmy was with his girls. Jimmy clearly thought his daughters were the best people on the planet. There was a softer look in his eyes every time he mentioned either of their names.
“Sorry,” he said when she was silent. “I know I’m rambling. It’s just been a rough day.”
“No, it’s no problem!” Amelia was quick to assure him. “I think it’s great. My father and I aren’t very close. I like knowing there are some dads who love and accept their daughters no matter what.”
Jimmy put his hand on her shoulder briefly. “He’ll come around. He’s probably just freaked out with how everything’s going down.”
She doubted it, but she smiled up at him anyway. “Thank you.”
Penelope jogged over to the two of them and gave Jimmy a small wave before looping her arm through Amelia’s. “Hey, ready to eat?” she asked. “I think everything’s pretty much done.”
They walked across to the table Ethan had chosen for them. Different groups were scattered all around the campground, opening bags of chips and bottles of beer. There was a man at each grill slapping steaks and burgers and hotdogs down on plates rapidly. Everyone was chattering and laughing, but the wind swept all but the closest conversations away.
Amelia took her plate up to Kenny, who gave her a grin. “What can I getcha?” he asked.
She looked at the array of grilled meat. She actually felt hungry for the first time in a while and she planned to enjoy this meal to the fullest. “Steak,” she said decidedly.
He slid one onto her plate. “I cooked that one a little bit longer,” he said. “Since you’re eating for two and all.”
She hadn’t even thought about that and so she beamed up at him. “Thank you so much!”
“Am I going to get special treatment when I get knocked up, too?” Penelope demanded, giving Amelia a small wink to let her know she was only teasing the chef.
“Maybe just a little,” Kenny said, sliding a thick hamburger patty and a hot dog onto her plate without asking. “Don’t know how special I can make a hamburger and a hot dog, though.” When Penelope looked down at the white foam plate in surprise, he went on. “What? This is your usual, right?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I just...I didn’t think you’d remember.”
“You act like Taylor doesn’t talk about you from dawn to dusk.” Kenny sounded annoyed, but one look into his brown eyes told both women that he wasn’t. “Now, get on back to the table and let these poor hungry men get their food.”
“Are we the only women?” Amelia asked in an undertone as they headed for the table.
“At this table, yeah,” Penelope answered, ripping open a bag of spicy barbecue chips and handing Amelia a foil packet of potatoes along with the bottle of ketchup. “I don’t know what Kenny does to these potatoes,” she went on. “But they are so damn good, so you’re gonna split them with me. Anyway, yeah, and I’m glad you’re here because with William taking off, I would have been the only woman at the table.”
“Really? None of the other guys are involved with anyone?”
“Not really. They’ve all got their reasons, I guess. I mean, Jimmy’s divorce hasn’t been easy on him, so he’s not looking for anything serious. Or anything too casual because of h
is girls. He doesn’t want them seeing women going in and out of the house all the time. Kenny just likes the single life. Ryan doesn’t, but he hasn’t found the right one yet. And now Ethan’s got you.”
“Does William have a girlfriend?” Amelia asked.
She could tell from Penelope’s laugh that she hadn’t done a good job at concealing her surprise. “Yeah, her name’s Maria and I think she’s great. If anyone is gonna help him get his head on straight again, it’ll be her. They’ve been together for something like fifteen years, so she knows him better than most people.”
“That’s a long time,” Amelia said as she opened the foil packet of potatoes. The scent wafted up with the steam and her mouth began to water instantly. “Wow, these smell amazing!”
“They taste even better.” Penelope reached over and plucked one out, popping it into her mouth and chewing appreciatively. “The man is a magician.”
“Talkin’ about me again?” Taylor asked, dropping onto the bench beside her and slinging his arm around her shoulders.
She rolled her eyes and then grinned. “You know it, baby. You’re all I can think about.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” He took a bite of his steak and chewed for a second. Then his face went red and his eyes began to water.
Amelia looked on in alarm as he grabbed his beer and chugged it, caught his breath, and reached for Penelope’s beer, too.
“What’s wrong?” Penelope asked sounding worried.
Kenny sat down in front of him, wearing a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat himself. “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen,” he said placidly. “You oughta know by now not to piss off the chef.”
“What did you put in there, Kenny?” Ethan asked, sitting down beside Amelia and looking at his treasurer with almost academic interest.
“Nothing much,” Kenny said, cutting into his own perfectly medium rare steak casually. “Just a little more pepper than normal.”
“A little?” Penelope asked, her eyebrow sliding up.
“Okay, a lot.” Kenny smiled across the table at Taylor, who was still drinking and wiping his streaming eyes with the back of his free hand. “Relax, man. There’s another steak for you on the grill.”
“Don’t know if I trust you now,” Taylor managed to say. “You son of a--” He grabbed Ethan’s beer and drank it, too.
Penelope went and got the steak. She took the first bite, chewed thoroughly, and then handed the plate to Taylor solemnly. “I think you’ll be okay,” she said dryly.
“Now that’s dedication,” Ethan remarked. “I’d lock it down while I could. And go get me another beer, you asshole.”
His words reminded Amelia of his proposal, still unanswered. She realized she wanted to say yes. No matter how crazy Aubrey would think she was, she wanted to be Ethan’s wife. But she couldn’t tell him yes without more information. She had to know they were getting married for the same reasons.
Amelia glanced over at Ethan and found his eyes resting on her. His hand rested on her leg briefly. It felt good; there was still the shiver of electricity and desire. But she needed more than that.
# # #
After dinner and cleanup, everyone had drifted off into smaller groups. Ethan ducked into the tent, grabbed a blanket and took Amelia’s hand. She followed him out to a secluded area where the setting sun struck full on the red rocks; the view that gave the Valley of Fire its name.
He spread the blanket out and dropped to the ground, pulling her down with him. She sat between his legs, leaning back against his chest. He felt her relax slowly and her breathing matched with his. It was incredibly relaxing, holding her while the sun put on a show. He had nothing to do and nowhere to be except in this moment with her.
“So,” he said. “Did you want to talk about--”
“When did you lose your virginity?” she cut in.
Ethan stared down at her, but she had her chin up, facing determinedly toward the great view. It could have been the light of the setting sun, but he would have sworn she was blushing.
“Say what?” he asked, just to be sure he’d heard her correctly.
She half turned, glancing quickly up at him and then away again. She was definitely blushing.
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, but...”
“I thought we were going to be getting to know each other,” she said. “And it’s not like you don’t know when I lost mine, so I figured I’d ask you about your first time.”
He rubbed his chin. “Okay, you’ve got me there. I don’t mind telling you, it’s just that this really isn’t where I thought we’d start.”
“Well, you could always tell me your favorite color if you want to start easy.”
“Blue, all ‘em except the really pale blue. And I was fifteen when I lost my virginity.”
“Mine’s green, especially emerald green. And isn’t that kind of young?”
“It might have been,” Ethan agreed. “But I saw the chance and I went for it.”
“So this was before you came to Nevada, then?” she realized.
“Yeah.”
“Okay...”
“Okay, what?”
“Well, who was she? Give me a little more information than that!”
“Her name was Maggie and she was about a year older than me. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Cheerleader at our high school. Her parents had just split up and her mom had to go to back to work to make ends meet while she waited on her settlement. There was a lot of time to be alone. We went for it.”
“Was she your first girlfriend?”
Ethan leaned back a bit, looking up at the sky. “No, I guess I wouldn’t say she was my girlfriend. The age difference matters a lot in high school.” Hell, he’d promised to be honest. “And even if it hadn’t...I didn’t really want to date her.”
“Why not? You liked her enough to sleep with her.”
“I liked her a lot,” Ethan agreed. “It’s just that relationships aren’t really my thing.”
Amelia held her breath, holding back everything that she wanted to say. The last thing she wanted to do was push him away by reacting to what he’d said with the fear that had suddenly filled her.
“No relationshipsever?” she asked. “Not even after high school.”
“No, not really. Nothing I’d call serious.”
“Penelope says you’re easy to get,” Amelia blurted out.
Ethan snorted. “Did she?”
“Are you?”
“I guess so,” he said easily.
“Like...how easy? New woman every night easy or...”
“Good God, no,” Ethan said quickly. “I’m not...” He tried to figure out how to put it. “I’ve had more than a few one-night stands, sure. It’s more about the no strings thing. Open relationships, I guess is the best way to put it.”
“That’s not what I expected.” Was that what he would want with her? Because she wasn’t the type to share. Not when it came to him.
“I don’t mean open relationships like that. I just mean the freedom for either person to pick up and leave whenever they want.” He felt her stiffen slightly and he sighed. He wasn’t doing the greatest job of explaining this. “Look, I’ve never wanted to end up with any of the women I’ve been with, and I don’t mind admitting it. They didn’t want to end up with me either.”
Amelia snorted softly. “Yeah, right.”
“I like the disbelief, but I’m serious.”
“You’re telling me that there weren’t ever feelings? From any of them? For any of them?”
“There were feelings. There was lust and there was friendship. But it wasn’t love. And we both knew what it was going into it. I’m not one of those guys who likes stepping on a woman’s heart.”
She nodded, but she didn’t speak.
“Is it my turn to ask a question now?” he asked.
“Sure,” she answered quietly.
“Was I your first kiss?”
Her surprised laugh rang o
ut, pleasing him. “No!” she said, still giggling.
“No?” he questioned. “And here I thought I was special.”
“Remember that whole virginity thing?”
“I guess that’ll have to do.” He kissed the top of her head. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
“Spill it. Who was he?”
“His name was Brent Bruckheimer.”
“Are you serious? What is it with these rich people names?”