by M. T. Pope
“I couldn’t agree with you more, but I do love him. I love so much about him and I envisioned a man like him as my husband. These feelings that I’ve had for women are rare and they only spark from time to time. I guess a part of me is just curious, but I can’t really say if it’s more than that.”
“Then allow yourself to experience being with a woman one time. If it’s not something that you’re feeling, you will know it right away. Then, you can put everything behind you, and if Mr. Anderson is supposed to be your lifetime, he will be.”
I sat silent for a while, thinking about what Lela had said. She was right ... I had to see what was up with these feelings inside of me that had lingered on for some time. I didn’t think it was normal for me to feel this way, but then again, what was really considered normal?
“Lela, you mentioned your career when we first started talking. Are you worried about what would happen to you if you get a divorce, or is being married a cover-up for you being bisexual or gay? I heard about the president signing into law the policy that protects service men and women from being discriminated against, but does that still worry you?”
“Absolutely. Because we both know that gays and lesbians are not easily accepted anywhere in this country. We’re treated like crap and the DADT—‘don’t ask, don’t tell’—repeal may not change much. I think many soldiers will still be discriminated against and there are other ways to get rid of people who some feel don’t belong. That’s why I do my best to keep my personal life a secret. Hush is the word, and what I do is done behind closed doors. I refuse to be as open about my sexual preferences as I would like to be and I suspect that being so open about it will damage my career. My past lover had issues with the limitations that were set on our relationship and she eventually walked. She asked me to choose, and I chose my career. Had to, as there was no other way.”
“I get that. I really do, and it didn’t take me long to figure out how important serving your country is to you. Like I said, that’s what I admire.”
Lela smiled and we continued our conversation for at least another hour. Our food came and we could barely eat from laughing and talking so much. I swore Lela was so down-to-earth. She was like the best friend I never had, and I shared with her my feelings about my mother and sister. She was much closer to her family than I was to mine, and they knew all about her being gay. If my sister and mother ever found out that I had any interest at all in women, they would probably disown me. I could see Momma now, downing me and telling me what a disgrace I was. That would give her another opportunity to belittle me and I knew she would happily do it. Lela was right ... hush was the word. Whatever became of Lela’s and my relationship, no one would know about it. She would be seen as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. And to me, that would be easy to pull off because she didn’t look like a masculine female. She didn’t talk with a deep voice like a man. She was so beautiful, and as I sat across the table staring at her, I couldn’t help but think where all of this was going. I didn’t know if we’d ever get to a point where I would want her to choose me over her career. Her career seemed to make her happy, and with a husband like hers, I was sure it was her escape. I didn’t know how I would handle him either, but for now, I was glad that everything appeared to be moving in the right direction.
“Let’s get out of here,” Lela said. “I’m not eating much of this food and ... When’s the last time you’ve been to the drive-in?”
“Drive-in? It’s been years. I didn’t even know there were any left.”
“There’s one in Belleville. The night is still young and I’m not ready to call it a night yet, unless you are.”
I was enjoying myself with Lela, and was not ready to go back home to my lonely penthouse to be alone. I agreed to go to the drive-in with her, and when we left Longhorn, she asked me to ride with her. On the ride there, she spoke more about her troubled marriage.
“I just want you to know that I’m not going to force you to do anything you’re not ready for. If me being married makes you uncomfortable, Sky, just tell me and I will not pursue a relationship between us. We can just be friends and I’m perfectly okay with it.”
“Are you really? I mean, after getting to know you a little better today, I’m open to whatever. I hope you haven’t changed your mind, and did I say something wrong... .”
Lela reached over and touched my hand. “No, you didn’t. Actually, everything you’ve said has been right. I just know how difficult it is for anyone to have relations with someone who is married. You seem like a woman who would take issue with that, but I don’t know.”
“I do, but I understand that a person has to do what they must do, if they’re unhappy. At least you’ve let me know where things stand. I appreciate that.”
Lela blushed at me, then turned up the radio. Before we knew it, we were snapping our fingers in the car, listening to Mary J.’s “No More Drama.” Once it was over, we laughed and high-fived each other.
“None,” Lela shouted. “No drama whatsoever!”
I folded my arms and looked at her. “Are you sure about that? You sound like you got this.”
“Positive. Just wait and see.”
I didn’t believe Lela for one bit, but being with her seemed interesting, and quite frankly, I was willing to take the risk.
The drive-in was crowded as ever. All kinds of cars were lined up on the gravel, with people in and outside of their cars watching Bridesmaids. The movie was so hilarious. Lela and I sat in the back of her truck, with our backs against the window, laughing our butts off. A bucket of popcorn was on her lap and we sipped on soda from our foam cups.
“This shit is too funny,” Lela said. “That thick chick is out of her mind!”
“Isn’t she. But I can see something like this going down for real. We women are so competitive and I remember going at it like that before with one of my friends.”
“What about your bridesmaids? Do you know who they will be, or have you even gotten that far yet?”
“Nope. Haven’t made any plans yet, but I guess I will. Soon.”
Lela set the popcorn bucket next to her and turned to me. “Just make sure it’s something you really want to do. If not, turn him loose and move on.”
I was so caught up by how close and comfortable we both were. And when Lela leaned in for a kiss, my whole body froze. Her lips softly touched mine, and as she licked across them, I finally opened my mouth. The kiss I’d waited for had finally arrived and it was slow and delicate. Her lips were so sweet and the taste of her tongue had me in a trance. She touched my thigh, squeezing it as her hands crept up my leg. My entire body was tense, but as she made her way up between my legs, I started to relax. I released a deep breath, only to gasp when her fingers touched the silkiness of my panties. She backed inches away from my face and smiled.
“I feel heat,” she said.
“That’s because I’m hot,” I replied. I inched forward to get back to the lips I had wanted to feel against mine. Lela maneuvered my panties to the side, breaking my insides open with the slip of her fingers. Her strokes were smooth and gentle, causing me to feel the dripping juices that were already running through my crack. I couldn’t believe how wet I was, nor could I believe that I was allowing a woman to dig deep into me, while at a drive-in movie. Exciting me even more, her lips pecked my neck. My mouth opened to suck in some air, and that, too, was filled with wetness. I hadn’t felt this good in a long time and I definitely wanted more. That was, until a drunken-ass man walked by and bumped into Lela’s truck. The thud was loud, causing Lela to remove her fingers and both of us to sit up straight.
“Saawry,” the man slurred. “But this is so fucking cool, isn’t it?”
I nodded, and when I looked at Lela, we both shook our heads and laughed. The man walked off, singing loudly and causing quite a scene.
“I think we’d better get out of here,” Lela said. She looked at her watch. “Besides, it’s getting late. I have to get up around four, and I m
ust get a little rest, due to my busy day ahead of me.”
A part of me was disappointed, but I didn’t want Lela to be so tired. We got back in the front of the truck, and on the drive back to my car at Longhorn, things were pretty quiet. I knew Lela was thinking about what had happened, and I damn sure was. I didn’t want to come off as being overly excited about it, but when we got back to Longhorn, I initiated a kiss before getting out of the car.
“I hope to hear from you soon,” I said to her. “Be safe and thanks for inviting me.”
“Anytime. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Lela waited until I got in my car before she sped off and onto the highway. I was zoned out in the car, thinking about her touch. This was all so new to me, but whatever was transpiring, I liked the feel of it. I never thought I’d go as far as I’d done, but at this point, I was glad that I’d broadened my horizons and explored what I had always felt deep inside. To hook up with Lela made me feel free. I felt as if I was now living a life in my own skin. I was happy ... satisfied beyond my own expectations, and no matter how things turned out between us, this was one experience I would never forget.
While singing “No More Drama” by Mary, I turned the key to my penthouse to unlock the door. When I entered, soft jazz was playing, scented candles were lit, and the smell of fresh flowers infused the opened space. The lights were turned down, and as I stepped farther inside, I saw Aaron leaning against the kitchen island with a red rose in his hand. He was shirtless and white silk pajama pants covered his bottom half. Against his midnight-black skin, he looked dynamite. I had stopped thinking about Lela for just a few minutes to give my man the credit he truly deserved.
“Hello, Brown Sugar. It’s almost midnight, but where is my kiss?”
“Sorry,” I said, a little nervous, but trying not to let it show. I walked over to him, then placed my purse on the counter. I threw my arms around his neck, hoping that he wouldn’t smell Lela’s scent on me, as he definitely knew mine.
“Damn, you smell good,” he said, already nibbling at my neck. I held the back of his head as he lowered it to lick between my sweaty cleavage. My nipples were poking through the halter, and as Aaron lowered his hands and grabbed big chunks of my ass cheeks, I felt horny as ever. Lela had left me high and dry, thinking about what would have happened if the drunken man had not bumped into her car.
“That ass is soft,” Aaron said, grinding against me. I could feel his hardness growing at my midsection. And like Lela’s, his hands roamed and searched for my panties. He felt my crotch, causing his muscle to grow by the minute.
“You are soaking wet. Let me hurry this up.”
“Please,” was all I said.
Aaron lowered my panties to my ankles and threw them over his shoulder. That definitely put the smell of sex in the air, but not as much as when he lifted me on the counter and started to feast upon my insides, right next to the sink. My legs were pushed back to my chest, and my insides were exposed to his face. I tightened my watery eyes from the feel of his fierce tongue, but unfortunately, Lela was still on my mind. Even as we made our way to the bedroom, stripping each other naked and screwing our brains out, I just couldn’t get with it. All I could think about was when? When I will be woman enough to tell Aaron that I did not want to be his wife, nor did I want to go here with him again?
Chapter 4
Lela kept her word and we talked on the phone or texted each other every single day. Even when she was busy, she always found time in her busy schedule just to call to let me know she’d been thinking about me. I’d been thinking a lot about her too, and even though much hadn’t changed in my relationship with Aaron, I was preparing myself to tell him that I didn’t want to go through with the marriage. The timing, however, never seemed right. We were never alone at his office, and even when we were, someone would come in and interrupt us. I’d even invited him to dinner at my penthouse, but that was cancelled because he had to rush out of town on business. On two of the days that he was gone, Lela’s husband had been called to the Pentagon to handle some business. She’d been to my penthouse and I’d been to her house, which was located on the base. I loved spending time with her, and on Thursday night, we sat yoga style on the floor in her family room, playing Uno.
“You are such a cheater,” she said, looking at the last card in my hand, wondering what color it was.
“Don’t be mad at me because I have a good strategy and you don’t.”
“Is that what you think? You think this game is a strategic game, and not about how the cards come up in the deck?”
“No matter how they come up, you’d better know how to play them. If not, I’m afraid you’re going to lose again.”
Lela slowly drew from the deck, slamming down a “draw four” on me.
“A www w,” I shouted and playfully fell back to the floor. Lela crawled over me, and just as she was about to kiss me, my cell phone rang. Any other time it wouldn’t have mattered, but since it was almost nine o’clock, and no one usually called me at this time, I thought something was wrong. I moved away from Lela, and crawled over to the table to get my phone. It was my mother.
“Yes, Momma,” I said, holding the cell phone up to my ear. I could hear her crying.
“Where are you?” she asked, then sniffled.
My heart dropped. “I’m at a friend’s house. What’s the matter?”
“It’s Kate. I ... I need you to come quickly. She needs you.”
“Okay. I’m on my way.”
I put my phone in my purse and hurried to stand up. “I have to go. Something is going on at my mother’s house and she needs me.”
Lela reached for the keys to her truck. “I’ll go with you. No need for you to be alone on the highway by yourself and I don’t want you speeding to get there.”
We left, and while in Lela’s truck, I wondered what had gone wrong. Had Kate been ill? She didn’t seem like herself when I last visited and was quiet more than anything. I felt bad that I hadn’t been in touch with her as much as I should have been and it was killing me inside that I’d been neglecting my little sister.
Almost an hour later, Lela pulled in front of my mother’s house. The neighborhood was pretty rough, and when we got out of the car, some thugs across the street whistled at us.
“Say, bitches,” one of them said. “Can I get a phone number or somethin’?”
The others laughed, but I ignored them. Lela didn’t. “I got your bitches. And if you bring your ass on this side of the street, I’ll be happy to show her to you.”
The others laughed again, but the one who couldn’t keep his mouth closed grabbed his dick, telling Lela to suck it. I grabbed her arm, as she looked as if she was getting ready to cross the street.
“Forget them,” I said. “It’s the wrong time. Please.”
Lela tossed her braids to one side and rolled her eyes at the youngster, ignoring his ongoing calls of “bitches” and “hoes.” I rang my mother’s doorbell quickly, and could see my nephew, Donnell, through one of the glass windows. He opened the door, hugging me around my waist.
“Hi, Auntie. Grams and Momma are in the kitchen. Leslie and I are in the basement playing video games. You wanna play with us?”
“I sure do,” I said. “As soon as I talk to your mother, I’ll be downstairs to play.”
Donnell looked at Lela. “Who is that?” he asked while circling her. “She fine!”
“My name is Lela,” she said, extending her hand to shake his.
“Lela, I’m Donnell. And if you everrrrr need a boyfriend,” he said, pointing to his chest, “come see me.”
“I certainly will,” Lela said, smiling. I invited her to take a seat on the plaid sofa in the cramped living room. Momma’s house was scorching hot. Even the walls looked like they were sweating and the fan she had on the floor was there to make noise. It was blowing out hot air, wasting electricity. I told Lela I would be back soon and turned on the TV so she could watch it.
When I walke
d toward the kitchen, I could hear Kate and Momma whispering, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. As soon as I entered, Kate lowered her head and Momma stood up. The kitchen was barely big enough for a rectangular table to fit, and Momma hadn’t made any updates to it since we were kids. The old white double-big sink was in one corner, taking up too much space. A shelf with expired food on it was in one corner and the outdated white stove was in another. I hated that she lived like this, and yet again, I felt guilty.
“Have a seat,” Momma said. I eased into the chair, still looking over at Kate. Finally, she lifted her head and that’s when I noticed her face was swollen and she had a shiny black eye. I was almost speechless.
“Wha ... what happened to you?”
Kate fidgeted with her nails and a slow tear rolled down her face. “Ray and I had an argument. He got angry about something I said.”
“Looks like the two of you had more than an argument,” I said. I was mad as hell, and for a man to put his hands on a woman, that disgusted me. “Has he ever hit you before?”
“That’s what I’ve been asking her,” Momma said, leaning against the sink. She was rattled and hurt at the same time. “She hasn’t been truthful with me, so I figured she would at least tell you.”
Kate pounded her fist on the table. “I am being truthful, Momma! I called him a lying Negro and he got mad! He’s never done anything to this extent before and I don’t know what got into him.”
“Watch your tone with me, young lady. Negro, nigga, loser ... whatever! He had no business putting his damn hands on you! I think this has been going on for quite some time and you ain’t been saying nothing. If so, now is the time to come clean, Kate. You can’t go back to this man if he’s abusing you.”
“Momma’s right, Kate. We can get you some help. You and the kids can stay with me. I have plenty of room and you don’t have to go back to him.”
Kate sighed. “Are the two of you listening to me? I said it’s not that serious. I’m going back home tomorrow, and all I needed was to get away from him for a few hours. He was tired and working so hard—”