At the shock of Frankie’s accusation, I dropped my books on the ground beside her pearl-colored Cadillac Escalade.
Frankie hit the unlock button and helped me gather my books. “Seriously. Have you ever noticed the way he stares at you?”
“He’s just being protective. We were raised together so he feels responsible for every move I make inside and outside that big, dreary house. I swear that place is like a mausoleum.”
“You might have twenty-twenty vision, but you’re romantically blind as a bat. He stares at you all day. And you never see it.” Frankie’s golden hair shone in the sun and her blue eyes sparkled. “Maybe if you’d lay a big sloppy kiss on him, he might loosen up a little.”
“Ugh. Stop. He’d probably put me in time out.” I hopped into the passenger side just in time for Cole to exit the school from the gym locker room. “Hurry before he gets here and takes me home to spank me for not telling him where I’m going.”
“You should try that. You might like it.” She snapped her seatbelt and cranked the SUV.
“Just go.” I’d never admit it aloud, but he did look different this year. Better.
We’d reached the end of our sophomore year, he had filled out. The way he let his curly hair grow longer since he was a boy was actually attractive. And he had this cute way of shoving it out of his eyes when he was frustrated.
He never really acted as though he wanted more than the bickering and arguing that transpired between us, but there was always something in his eyes when a new friend, especially of the male persuasion, picked me up or came over to hang out.
Could Frankie be right?
I could be a little bratty sometimes and hard to get along with. Growing up in a house where everyone stared at me as if I was some sort of science project since birth, had been daunting. When I chose my clothes, when I ate, when I talked to Cole, especially then. Stares. Or looks of disdain. Constantly.
And when I walked into the room, the conversation ceased. The abrupt silence exposed their effort to conceal things they didn’t want me to know yet. I would figure it out. Eventually.
I always felt like a fluke. I didn’t feel as though I fit in at school even though I had lots of friends or at least people who wanted to be my friend. I tried to be nice. My mom threw parties to nudge me out of my shell, but I just seemed to coexist with all the other kids the older I got. I attracted guys, but was never really attracted to any of them. I then found a small group of friends to interact with so my parents would leave me alone.
As my sophomore year progressed, Cole began a retreat from being my prison warden to occasionally questioning my decision-making.
I hated to admit it, but I began to miss his constant fuss over me.
He spent a lot of time in the library at the house, reading old books. There was one dark, leather-bound book in particular, the one he’d been reading the first day he told me he had a crush on someone. It never failed, every single time I glanced into the library his nose was stuck in that book. Deeply enthralled by the book, he never sensed my approach.
When I asked him about it, he said, “It’s the family history. You hate history. You’re more of a science girl.”
Since he’d read it more than a hundred times, maybe it was worth a glance through.
When he left the library, I could never find it, no matter how hard I looked. Had he hidden it from me?
One day, a Friday evening when all my friends had dates and I didn’t feel like being third wheel, I was particularly bored. I slipped up behind Cole His head was dipped, his cheek propped in hand and his eyes were misty. There had to be an impression of his body worn into the old leather sofa as much time as he spent in deep thought there.
“You’ve read this a thousand times. What is it?” I jerked the book out of his hands.
“Give it back.” He stood. His glare was bold and serious.
I read a line of the book to myself.
“Hmm. A sappy romance, yuck.” I started reading the book to him in teasing, “This unusually cold spring night, my arms should be around her keeping her body warm. Now there is nothing on this earth that could do that for her. The cold, moist earth will swallow her and her body will never know warmth again.”
Cole jumped into my face and jerked the book out of my hand, his expression twisted with anger and pain. His voice was a low growl. “I just wish I could hate you.”
“I was just joking around.” What had I done that was so bad?
Cole turned from me and carried the book from the room with him.
So that’s why I couldn’t find it.
He took it with him each time he left.
* * * *
A few days later beside the pool, I lounged on one of the wicker chairs with sunglasses on and a white bikini. It was a perfect day for forgetting the crazy world, my crazy whatever-you-would-call-him, Cole, and taking in some rays.
The perfect mix of chlorine and roses scented the air and a light breeze swayed the long leaves of the banana trees beside the pool fence.
“I’m sorry for what I said the other day.”
I jumped. I hadn’t heard the pool gate open. “You scared the life out of me. What have I told you about sneaking up on me?”
The breeze pressed against Cole’s wavy brown hair. His eyes were dark and his voice was weird. Different. “I don’t want to hate you. I never could.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I was a little uncomfortable with his admission, but it had been sweet. “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to insult you. I didn’t realize you liked the story so much.”
Cole looked away, his gaze landing on the rose maze. “It means a lot to me is all.”
I took my sunglasses off and sat them down. I started to ask him what it was about. Why it was so gripping, but he sat on the lounge chair beside me and sprawled back.
“I didn’t come out here to hound you about anything. Can I just sit here? I won’t talk.”
I cast a sideways glance at him. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I simply nodded and decided, out of respect—though I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why Cole could grow so attached to words on a page—to never look for it again.
* * * *
My attention didn’t stay focused on anything for very long when my junior year commenced, but I decided to stop trying to make Cole’s life a living hell. He was only trying to look out for me. Though it was creepy at times, it had its nice points.
Out of aggravation, I narrowed my social outings to joining one friend, Frankie Frank, when she went to the movies, out to eat, and when she just wanted to drive so she could vent about her relationship with her boyfriend, Matt.
As far as date type situations went, I casually dated Derrick Cobb, a friendly guy whose parents own the plantation a few blocks down from ours. It was nothing serious, but he lightened my mood when I was upset.
Lately that had been a lot.
Cole would barely speak to me or even acknowledge my existence.
Mama, Shelby, and Trevor all delivered the same answer when questioned about it. “He’s just going through some stuff right now.”
One night, Derrick called, which rescued me from inside my own head. He was a playful and innocently flirty person who had no trouble filling my time with distractions of the comedic sort.
That evening he was shy and nervous.
“I need to ask you a question about the prom.” Derrick’s voice was higher than usual.
If he was going to ask me to go, I had the odd notion that I didn’t want anyone to hear.
And I didn’t know why but, I was especially nervous about agreeing to go with Derrick within Cole’s earshot.
I excused myself and stood from the long dinner table in the dining room.
An uncomfortable silence smothered the room when I started out.
Cole didn’t look up from the rose china on his place mat. He flipped his fork in his hand as he stared at h
is roast beef.
Mama and Shelby exchanged worried glances.
“Okay, so what about the prom? You thinking of spiking the punch?” my heart stammered waiting for what I knew he would ask.
“No, I was thinking about how nice you’d look in a ball gown. The theme is Gone with the Wind. I could probably force myself into a tux, if you’d go with me.” Though he tried to sound cool, his voice was a little higher pitched than usual.
I leaned against the banister staring out at the rose maze. “I don’t know. I’ve never worn a ball gown before. They look like they’d be stuffy.”
“You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?” Derrick laughed the tension bleeding out of his voice.
“I’ll consider it. I’ll get back to you, if that’s okay.”
“Don’t you say yes to anyone else before you seriously consider me. I asked first.”
“I’ll take that into consideration.”
“You’re seriously going to make me wait for an answer.”
“Okay, I’ll go, but you can’t wear baby blue. I hate that color of tuxedo.” I turned and pressed my back to the banister.
Derrick was one of the nicest looking guys in school, and though we were more friends than anything, everyone always called us the cutest couple. It wasn’t like Cole was going to ask me. Or that I would have said yes if he had.
As soon as I ventured back in to join my family at dinner, I could have sworn someone had dumped a truck load of ice into the dining room.
“Don’t tell me you are still having anything to do with that guy?” Cole’s hands were flat on the table and his eyes were emerald green.
“How do you know who I was on the phone with?” Instant anger boiled in my blood. Here we go.
“I heard his voice when you answered it.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat but didn’t back down from his disapproval. “You aren’t even that interested in him, yet you still go out with him.”
It was so odd that he almost knew what I was thinking sometimes. How, though, I had no idea. He must have been around me so much he could read my body language.
“He just keeps me occupied. And he doesn’t nag.”
Cole started to speak but clamped his mouth shut, his nostrils flared. He scooped up his plate and stormed to the kitchen.
Until a few months ago, Cole always acted as if I was a step away from some horrible danger and that he needed to oversee my every move. Tonight was the first time in a while I had seen him act like the old Cole.
“You should be nicer to him. He only worries about you because he cares,” my father said.
“I know Daddy, but we’re the same age. He’s not wiser than me. I’d like to make decisions for myself without feeling like I have to run my options by him first.” I flopped down in my seat.
My father looked at my mother and sighed.
“Don’t interfere, honey.” She picked up her fork and moved a few noodles.
Daddy looked back to me. “All I’m saying is you should trust his intuition a little more.”
I nodded and let the conversation end. There was no need to argue with them.
Cole had always been over glorified, while I was the one who could never do or say anything right.
I couldn’t wait to get away from the house and all the restraints put on me.
* * * *
On the night of the prom, I’d just begun final touch ups when Cole and his mother’s conversation outside my door stopped me. It was more of an argument than a discussion. I put down a tube of lipstick and stared at myself. Long brown, slightly wavy hair, brown mischievous eyes, a lot of trouble for Cole Kinsley.
Cole’s voice reverberated through the door. “There’s nothing here for me.”
“You need to be patient.” Shelby’s voice waivered.
“I have to move on with my life. I can’t live with hearing what guys really want from Allie. I can’t do this,” Cole said. “I am done.”
“She doesn’t know what she means to you. Yet. You have to give Kaitlyn some time. She’ll tell her as soon as she wakes up in the morning and hopefully then things will right themselves.”
When their footsteps padded closer to my room, I hid behind the door.
Cole and Shelby passed without a word.
The doorbell rang. I took a deep breath and started out of my room.
A weird flash of me doing the same thing, but in a different time crossed over me.
I shook off the notion and went down the stairs in the long purple dress I had found in some boxes on the fourth floor a few months back.
Mama hired a tailor to repair it because it was so old, but it fit right in with our prom theme Gone with the Wind. It was one of the few books I could really get into and that one held a lot of symbolism for me because no matter how hard I tried not to be, the irritated me always came across as bratty, just like Scarlett. But I wasn’t self-centered. It was just that there was always an internal war going on inside me.
I had never looked in the mirror and thought that I was pretty, but as the dressed sashayed with each step and I clung to the banister, the floor-length mirror at the bottom of the stairs returned a stunning reflection. I almost didn’t look like me. The dress transformed me somehow.
When I got halfway down the stairs, Cole looked up from his lazy perch on the sofa.
He dropped the remote, and his chest froze.
I had never seen him so still.
His mouth dropped open and his face drained of its color.
I had to stop, frozen in Cole’s stare, because I had never seen that look on his face. I was very familiar with his expressions of aggravation and irritation, but never a look of adoration. Uncharted territory.
My date stood near the door where Cole couldn’t see him, obviously forgotten.
With our gazes still locked, Cole stood.
He stepped around the coffee table, the weird smolder in his eyes never leaving as he neared me.
I stepped down each step, but my legs were heavy and my chest ached.
Cole stopped just outside the living room threshold.
Giving us the oddest look, Derrick stayed planted at the door.
Cole started closer as a slow grin pulled at the corners of his red lips.
My chest swelled with pride that I’d taken his breath away and made him smile all in the same minute.
The smile didn’t last long. He looked blankly at Derrick and then back to me.
I had just made it to the bottom step.
Cole’s chest rose and fell in heavy, steady breaths.
“You look amazing,” Derrick said.
I couldn’t take my eyes from Cole.
His eyes flickered the oddest color of green as he turned his stone-cold glare toward Derrick.
They’d flashed like that before when we were outside during a heated argument. I’d thought the sun had hit them just the right way to make them spark, but this time there was no source of light that could have caused the anomaly.
The same dark glower happened again, but with even more intensity when Derrick reached out to guide my next step down.
Cole took an unsteady step away from us and rounded to face the back of the house. He stalked toward the patio doors. He went there to think at night. He would stare off into the darkness for hours. Sometimes he even ventured out past the confines of the property into the woods for even longer.
Mama and Daddy came out of the living room, Mama teary-eyed and Daddy with a proud swell in his chest.
He shook Derrick’s hand. “Jordan Night, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Derrick Cobb. Thank you for allowing me to take you daughter out for the evening. I promise she’ll be well taken care of.” Derrick turned to my mother and kissed her hand.
“Kaitlyn Night,” Mama said. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” Derrick said.
I looked toward the back of the house.
<
br /> Mama caught my attention. “You look beautiful, baby.”
I couldn’t get the look on Cole’s face off my mind. “I… Thank you.”
Mama glanced toward the back patio as Derrick started for the front door. “I’ll check on him.”
My parents kissed me and sent me out the door for what should have been the night of any girl’s dreams.
* * * *
At the Country Club the prom committee had reserved for the dance, someone tapped on my shoulder.
Cole’s father, Trevor, had been invited to chaperone the prom. In his tux, he looked just a youthful as one of the junior or senior boys. His dark hair waved back out of his dark sparkling eyes. He’d always treated me as if I were one of his own, one of the few joys of being born into a close-knit family, though none of us were of blood relation.
Mama had given me some spiel about neither her or Shelby being able to have children, so they’d begun fertility treatments and just happened to luck up by becoming pregnant at the same time. Now it was as if I had two mothers and two fathers most days.
When one set of parents didn’t agree about something, they normally held weird meetings and almost always ended up coming up with some sort of settlement that made either me or Cole happy in the end.
It worked.
Everyone was happy.
Mostly.
Cole seemed to be on the brink of happiness until the subject of me came up. That’s when the sparkle in his eyes dissipated—until that night just before I’d left for the dance. It was weird to admit, but I looked forward to the end of the evening so I could get back home and wait for him to come back from one of his brooding walks in the woods.
I wanted to talk to him about the way I’d been acting.
See if maybe we could find some common ground.
Trevor smiled down to me. “May I have this dance?”
“Are you going to fuss at me?”
“Have I ever?” He took my hand.
I stood. “No. Though after my behavior as of late, I’m surprised. Everyone else has.”
“They all mean well. They’re just waiting for you to find yourself. These teenage years can be daunting.” Trevor walked me onto the dance floor.
“Sometimes, I wonder if they don’t think that Cole was born to tell me what to do.”
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