I sat Allie down beside a tree and leaned her against it. “Don’t move. If you run, I will find you.”
Nicki ran up with Allie’s purse and dropped down beside her. “Here—you’ll need this to get back into our room. You’ll be okay with Cole. He’s the most trustworthy guy on campus.”
The creep stepped nose to nose with me.
“And I promise I won’t stop until she is satisfied.” The guy looked over my shoulder to Allie.
“You wanna repeat that?” Fire shot through my veins like lightning bolts.
The guy’s face twisted in fear as he backed up. “What the hell? Your eyes. What are you?”
“Put your filthy hands on her one more time, and you’ll find out.” I finished my threat with a growl.
Andrew stepped between me and the guy.
A few other guys from my fraternity had gathered to break up the fight.
I turned back to Allie, who held onto the bark of the tree and Nicki for support. She leaned forward.
“Are you going to be sick?” I laid my hand on her back.
“I just need to lie down.” Allie accepted my support.
I sighed with relief when she let me guide her to the car.
Allie propped her elbow on the door and closed her eyes as she rested the side of her face on her hand.
“Don’t close your eyes.” I backed the car out of the spot. “If you do, you’ll be sick.”
“When did you become such an expert in the ways of the alcoholic?” Allie said.
“Since I lost you.”
She probably wouldn’t remember it tomorrow.
I thought she might say something like, you never had me, but she was quiet other than her thoughts. I can’t believe that I’m letting him do this again. I thought he might outgrow the urge to babysit me.
“I never babysat you,” I said. I didn’t care if she knew.
She turned and opened her mouth but clamped it shut. If I talk to him, I’ll throw up.
“I never saw it as babysitting. I never told you, but I…” I chose my words carefully though she was probably too drunk to comprehend. “I just wanted you to be happy. If I saw you going down a road I thought would lead to heartbreak and unhappiness, I just wanted to guide you. I’ve seen more disappointments than you will, ever. I didn’t want you to fall victim to self-inflicted misery, and there were times you barreled toward it at breakneck speeds. Tonight was one of those times. He was going to have his way with you, and everyone around was too drunk to stop him I knew you didn’t want it that way.”
A soft snore from the passenger side of the car.
I wasn’t sure how much she heard, but I had been in need of getting some of those things off my chest, so I didn’t regret the admissions. I kept my eyes on the road as I drove, but her presence took up all the air in the car. She still coursed through my veins. As if we’d never been separated.
In a past life, I would have reached over and taken Allie’s hand. I would have rubbed my thumb over her fingers and stroked her skin until we reached the house. Once there, I would have woken her with a surprisingly deep kiss, and we might not have made it into our home for at least another hour. An undeniable heat that didn’t generate from the vents filled the car.
Her long legs were pulled together and tucked under her, and her skirt didn’t cover nearly enough of them.
It was increasingly hard to breathe. I pulled as close to her dorm as possible. I touched Allie’s shoulder and nudged her.
She didn’t budge, so I searched her purse for her key card. With the card in one hand and my fist clenched, I rounded the car. After taking a cleansing breath to prepare myself, I scooped her up and carried her to the door.
She was out.
With a little difficulty, I propped the door enough to get us both through.
Allie finally held her head up and looked at me. She yawned. “Are we there yet?”
“Yes. I’m carrying you inside before anyone sees you like this,” I said.
With her head lolling on my chest, Allie looked at me suspiciously. “I’m capable of taking care of myself.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”
“Babysitter.” She slurred.
“There was a time when you called me your protector.” I pushed the elevator button. The doors slid open.
She scoffed and closed her eyes. “Why do you bother with me? I don’t get it.”
The elevator doors closed.
“You don’t know?” I pressed floor five.
“You really buy into all that curse stuff, don’t you?” she said. “I always thought you were crazy. You couldn’t stop caring, could you?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I tried.” The fuzzy reflection of us in the metal doors slid apart to let us out. “And I’ll continue to try. Which is your room?”
“We won’t be able to get in. My pocketbook is in Lacee’s car,” she said.
I waved the key in front of her face. “You had your purse with you.”
“You always have every situation under control.”
“Not always.”
She leaned against the wall.
I slid the card key down the slot in her door.
It beeped. The red light turned green and the automated voice on the alarm said: “Disarmed.” And that’s how I felt.
With my foot, I shoved the door open.
The smell of Allie’s favorite perfume wafted by me.
I was temporarily paralyzed. It was the same perfume that used to come from Allie’s room when I walked by her door at home. It took me back to all those long nights at home when she hated me.
“Sometimes I felt like an irritating brat of a little sister that you had to oversee all the time.” Allie wobbled under my guidance toward her room.
“More like a bad habit I couldn’t break.” I had never seen my devotion to her as being unhealthy until I saw her come down the stairs at home in the dress she had worn in 1879, one evening when we met at the pond. That dress had almost come off her that night, but I could never tell her about those times.
“Therapy might be your best bet.” She patted my cheek.
I didn’t find it funny in the least. I had actually considered therapy many times, but how could I tell a professional that my true love from a past life had rejected me and that I didn’t know how to deal with it? I couldn’t.
“I was just kidding.” A thoughtful look covered her face. She cupped my cheek and left her hand there. Her expression softened. “You look like you could use a nap, yourself. Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine. Let’s just get you in bed.” I shoved Allie’s hand away and turned her toward the center of her dorm room. “Which is yours?”
“Getting me in bed has never been your goal before, according to the old Cole. Has that changed now, too?” She pointed to the bedroom on the left with a new sparkle in her eye.
It was the alcohol talking, but deep down inside I wanted the seductive look on her face to be real. How I wanted this to be my playful Allie speaking.
“Allie, I have never wanted to take advantage of you. You know that.”
He looks so sexy in this lighting. I wish he’d quit talking and just kiss me.
Her thoughts shocked me. Beside her bed, I stood her up and pulled her blankets down. “You get in the bed. It’s time to sleep off some of that—”
She yanked her tank top over her head, “You know, it really wouldn’t be taking advantage of me.”
I tripped as I backed away.
Allie tossed her shirt at me. It covered my face.
I yanked it away, and it fell to the floor. The vision in front of me had been in my dreams for years.
In a miniskirt and a black lacy thing that barely qualified as a bra, Allie glowed in the light from the street cascading through the window. Her body was beautiful. That hadn’t changed.
“What’s the matter?” She unbuttoned the minis
kirt as she slid her sandals off and shoved them away. “You’ve seen all this before. Maybe not in this body, but what difference does it make?”
I took a much-labored breath and turned away. I shook my head. The control I so coveted in my life had almost been stripped from me. If she made one move toward me, I would no longer be able to deny myself the sweetness of her kisses and the warmth of her soft, delicate skin. “Stop!” I darted to the door. “I’ll check in on you tomorrow, but tonight you aren’t aware of what you’re doing. I’m not the guy at the party. I’m not going to take indecent liberties with a drunk woman. Get in bed. You need to sleep this off.”
Chapter 6
Allie
Nicki barreled into my room. She jerked open the curtains and sun scorched the back of my eyeballs.
Had someone dropped a ten-ton transfer truck on my head?
I covered my face with a pillow.
“We’re best friends, and you never disclosed that you’re close personal friends with Cole Kinsley?” Nicki plopped onto my bed.
“You must not know what a hangover is.” I groaned and whirled over in my blanket tangling myself into a tighter knot of anguish. My stomach gurgled.
“I’m familiar with them, but I know how to pace myself. I turned around, and before I knew it, Cole was carrying you to his car. He’s the most well-known guy at this college. He’s Mr. Perfect. He’s so respected, even the dean asks his opinion when making decisions about the campus and student life. He may as well be royalty.”
“Of course. I don’t know why I’m surprised. He gets that pretty much everywhere he goes.”
“He saved you from that freak last night, or do you remember any of that?” She tugged me to face her.
I stared at her blankly. My arms and legs had been filled with cement.
“That guy he saved you from had been spiking girls’ drinks with a mixture of ecstasy and some other as-yet-to-be-identified drug. Cole warded him off you and brought you home before you could become his first victim. I see you had a good time. At least you thought to wear a nice bra.” Nicki popped my strap.
I recalled fuzzy bits and pieces.
Why was I almost completely undressed?
It took a few seconds, then a possibility hit me.
Oh. My. God.
The soreness in my back and the weakness in my limbs.
What had I done?
What had Cole done?
I closed my eyes and tried to remember and the bits and pieces pulled together a little more. I remembered the feeling of being in his arms and then stripping. Beyond that it was a blur. But here I was almost naked the next morning. Could I have thought to put my underwear back on after—after doing only God knows what.
“You’re acting awfully weird. Not that you don’t act weird on a daily basis, but today’s different. Do you feel groggy, heavy even?” She leaned over me and inspected my face, my eyes especially. Her eyes widened. “Do you remember anything from your time with Cole last night?”
I shook my head. “I don’t remember much. I think I might have been very drunk.”
Nicki’s green eyes widened and her mouth dropped. “You weren’t drunk. You only had a couple of lightly mixed drinks over a few hours. There wasn’t enough alcohol in them to do that to you. I hate to say this, but I think that guy slipped something in your drink.”
That’s why I couldn’t remember how big or little a fool I’d made out of myself. If I thought Cole had wanted nothing more to do with me before, I had certainly sealed the deal now.
“He saved me. If anything happened after that, I don’t remember.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think he would have, you know, if he had known you were drugged. He’s got to be thinking some crazy stuff this morning, and when you tell him what really happened, it’s going to be bad. Have you thought of that?” Nicki looked to the window. “And what are you going to do about it, the being drugged part, I mean?”
I was sinking into the bed. I had never felt so heavy physically or mentally. “I’m not going to the police. You say they have him already. What would be the point? Luckily, there was no harm done.”
“No harm! You may have slept with someone that you probably wouldn’t h—Why are you looking at me like that?” She gasped. “You would have, wouldn’t you?”
“We don’t even know if anything happened. Calm down. Now move so I can get dressed.” I tried to stand but had to hold onto the headboard. I sat back down and plopped back on the bed. “Never mind. I’m going to stay here for a while longer. To save me from cracking my head on the floor, could you get me a glass of water?”
“You’ve never had a hangover, have you? You don’t drink water the morning after. I’ll get you a soda to sip on. Looks like I’m going to be your slave for a day.” In a few seconds, she returned with a canned drink. “Hey, what’s this?”
A dark, leather-bound book was propped on its end on my dresser. I’d only ever seen it at Rollins Manor in Cole’s lap. It couldn’t have been here unless he wanted me to read it.
“It’s just some research I’ve been doing. Can you hand it to me?” I held out my hand. Hopefully she wouldn’t open it.
“Reading breaks me out in hives.” She tossed me the book as if it might give her a communicable disease. “Anything else, madam?”
“No, and you are not going to wait on me all day. You are going to get out of here and have some fun. I don’t want to ruin your day.”
At a closer glance, it not only looked like the book that Cole used to bury his nose in, but it was the book that Cole had been reading when I took it from him in the library that day, years ago. He had yelled at me and looked like he might hit me if I didn’t give it back. He had scared me, for the first time.
His obsession with it had been intriguing.
Nicki eyed me suspiciously then shrugged. “Have it your way. Keep your cell close so that if you do need anything dire, you can call.”
I nodded. “Thank you. If for no other reason, I’m glad I came here because I met you.”
“Oh, none of that gushy crap. I’ve already done my makeup.”
“Go on. Get outta here. Tell everyone I’m fine, and that I’ll be back up and going tomorrow.” The book almost burned my hands. I could barely wait to flip it to the first page.
On the first original blank page there was a quote dated August 2009.
“A soul, like energy, can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be tortured.” ~CKK
On the next page was:
Personal Property of Colby Kendall Kinsley
1879
I slammed the book shut and threw it away from me.
My heart raced.
I took a deep breath and pulled the book back to my lap. It was heavy—not in weight, really, but because of the information it held.
If this was truly from 1879, then it was the journal entries of the first incarnation of Cole, which would tell of his life with me, until it ended.
In his first entry, his handwriting was so graceful that it appeared to be calligraphy. He capitalized the first letter of every paragraph with an elegant script.
I opened the book and began after the first entry. I snuggled lower into the down pillows behind me and deeper under the covers. I heard his voice as I read the book and felt how it might feel if he was there holding me and whispering in my ear.
In minutes, I was engrossed in a world that softened me, horrified me, and in the end broke my heart and regrouped it into a new heart that beat only for Cole.
* * * *
Cole
It was time to go home for a visit.
Allie would probably be in misery with a hangover all day.
As it always happened in every life, an undeniable pull tugged at the threads of my soul. I needed to be at home. Even if only for a day.
I needed to find the old me.
I’d lost him here, somewhere.
Even in an in
ebriated state, Allie hadn’t been afraid to admit she was married to me. I wasn’t exactly sure who had told her, but someone at home had seen enough of a hint of the old Allie in her to feel that she needed to know her rightful place in my life. Even if I had asked them not to do so. I wasn’t always the best judge of what to do when it came to love.
My friends and parents were able to see things I couldn’t.
So I wouldn’t be mad.
I just needed to be there.
The closer I drew to Rollins Manor, the more the ache in my stomach subsided. Even my body knew better than my brain where I needed to be. Home.
Even if I stopped in to check on her, Allie’s mind might still be muddled with the after effects of her drunken stupor the night before, so I’d check on her that night when I returned.
* * * *
Allie
I finished the journal.
Part of me felt left behind on the last page.
Though, I knew there were other lives I’d existed, that had been the one Cole had begun to love me. I wanted to go back there.
A broken man, he’d held my dead body in his arms and cried for hours.
Gingerly, I slid the old book over. With a renewed strength, I stood.
I had to see him.
It wouldn’t take long to break down all those walls that he’d bricked up around the old Cole. He was still in there. I just had to take a wrecking ball to his hard outer shell.
In record speed, I dressed and hurried to Cole’s frat house.
Andrew answered the door and invited me in.
I followed him to the living room.
The place looked much different without a gargantuan number of people filling it. Peaceful, homey even. It smelled of men’s cologne mixed with aromas left over from breakfast. Things that decorated Cole’s room at home were what he had surrounded himself with here. There were pictures of Cole and myself in 1879, what looked to be another version of me in a different era, possibly when he found me and didn’t tell me, another family portrait of Cole, me, and Shelby, but our faces were different. There were heirlooms everywhere on the walls, pieces of pottery from the house (that I had never noticed missing until now) on stands, a rug that had been upstairs on the fourth floor beside Cole’s bed. It was like looking at a Cole and Allie museum or shrine.
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