by Cat Adams
window. Floating and dipping in a glimmering dance. Quite a few for some reason. A bit odd for nightfal ,
but I’m not an expert on shorebirds.
Dr. Scott’s head cocked and he spun his seat toward the window. He watched the gul s swoop around
in the glow of the lamp, for al the world like giant moths near a flame. He shook his head as if trying to
clear it and blinked repeatedly. When he turned back and spoke, his voice was strained. “I wil make
you a deal, Ms. Graves. We’l try it your way— if you agree to fol ow the diet I am about to give you,
take the supplements and medications I am prescribing, and come to this facility on an outpatient basis
three times per week. But if I determine the situation has become too dangerous, you wil agree to
abide by my judgment and voluntarily commit yourself for two months of inpatient treatment.”
It was the best offer I was going to get. I could tel from the set of his shoulders, the grim
determination on his face. He didn’t like bending even this far.
“I’l agree—as long as you agree to give it a fair shot. No cheating and ordering me in without cause.”
“No cheating.” He repeated the word drily. “Fine. We’re agreed. Don’t make me regret it.”
I didn’t answer, merely watched as he scribbled a long list of notes. Pausing briefly, he tapped the pen
against his teeth a few times, then continued until most of the page was ful . I decided to use the time to
watch the birds outside, but when I looked out the window they were gone. Who knows why. So I stared
at the twinkling lights down on the beach instead. Someone was having a party, if the flickering tiki lights
were any indication.
When he final y looked up again, he met my eyes. “I’l have my assistant cal these in to your
pharmacy. That way they can have everything ready and waiting for you when you arrive. You should
take a dose of the supplement immediately. While we have no way of knowing for sure, it seemed to
help Rachel control her bloodlust.”
I nodded my agreement. “I’l do that.”
“Where should I have Heather cal ?”
I gave him the name and address of the place I usual y use for my birth control and vitamins and he
scribbled the information at the top of the page.
“I think we’re done here for now.” He rose and I did the same. “In answer to the concerns you didn’t
get the chance to express earlier, independent examiners wil be on site to look into Vicki’s death
thoroughly. I should also mention that the reason I’m tel ing you any of this is because Vicki signed a
written request that we explain the details of her death to al of the heirs and devisees in her Wil .
Natural y, we wil abide by her wishes and keep you apprised of the results of any investigation. I
imagine the investigators wil want to speak with you as wel .”
His words confirmed what I’d suspected for some time now. He was a telepath, and a damned good
one. He’d pul ed the question about an investigation out of my head, plus God alone knew what else,
without my even noticing. Dangerous man. Of course, it wil be easier to be in therapy with someone
you don’t actual y have to talk to. There are a lot of things I’d rather not reach air.
If, as he seemed to be hinting, I was inheriting money from Vicki, I’d have had one hel of a motive,
and in the circles I ran in it would probably even be possible for me to arrange for a professional hit. I
wouldn’t. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t. Shit.
He led me to the door of the office, and was holding it open for me when I answered. “It doesn’t
matter if they investigate me. Let them know I’l cooperate ful y. I loved Vicki very much. She was a
genuinely good and gentle person.” I smiled, knowing as I did that the smile didn’t reach my eyes and
showed more than a hint of fang. “For better or worse, I’m not. If she died of natural causes, fine. But if
she didn’t, I’m going to find out who did it and why. Then I intend to make them pay.” I preceded him to
the office doors. Since I got there first, I opened them for both of us. He paused at the edge of the
wide hal way.
“Ms. Graves, may I ask you a blunt question?”
“I suppose.”
“Do you know the contents of Victoria Cooper’s Wil ?”
“No. She never told me, and it was none of my business. I assume she gave me a minor bequest
—just like I’d do for her—and that pretty much everything goes to either Alex or her parents. She didn’t
have any other family.”
He gave me serious eyes. “I think you may be in for a shock. It’s her parents who wil be receiving the
minor bequests. They do, after al , already have their own fortunes. And there has been an …
estrangement between Vicki and her mother for some time.”
A hard lump formed in my throat, making it difficult to swal ow. No. She wouldn’t … would she?
He noticed my expression and put a light hand on my shoulder. “Celia, do you real y want to be out in
public, enduring a media firestorm, in your current condition? Are you certain you wouldn’t rather stay
here for a time … learn some skil s to keep you, and the public, safe?”
I took in a deep breath and let it out slow. Yes, this new information complicated things. Complicated
them a lot. But— “Dr. Scott, a gilded cage is stil a cage. And you know as wel as anyone that hiding
from your problems doesn’t make them go away.”
He gave a nod that was almost a bow. “My offer stands. If you find you can’t cope, you are welcome
here.”
“Thank you. I do appreciate that.” I did. But I wouldn’t take him up on it unless there was no other
choice. There were too many memories here. Good memories for the most part, but that wouldn’t
make it any easier. If anything, it would be harder. Everything would remind me of Vicki, of her loss.
Dr. Scott escorted me through the lobby to the glass doors leading to the parking lot. His body
language was stiff, reluctant, almost as if he were being forced to let me go against his wil . But he did
it. And I was grateful as hel for it. Because I needed to be away from here. Stupid, I suppose. This
place was probably as safe as or safer for me than just about anywhere else right now. But I needed to
leave. It wasn’t smart, wasn’t logical. But I needed to do it just the same.
The door closed behind me, and I heard the snick of the dead bolt being turned. I didn’t turn around.
Just stood on the concrete step, letting the warm breeze carry the scents of salt water and seaweed to
my nostrils. The gul s were gone. But if I listened hard, I could stil hear the ocean. For a long moment I
just stood there, drinking it in, letting it calm me as much as anything could.
Mine was the last car in the lot, gleaming midnight blue under the street lamps. I crossed the wide
expanse of asphalt, unlocked the door, and climbed inside.
Drawing a ragged breath, I forced myself back to the task at hand. I had cal s to make. The news of
Vicki’s death might not have made it to the press yet, but it would soon. I didn’t want Kevin, Bruno, or
—oh, God—Alex to find out that way. They deserved a cal . So, even though I knew he should be out
hunting, I dialed the number for Kevin and Amy’s apartment and was shocked when he answered on
the first ring.
“Kevin?”
His voice was livid. Words spil ed out of him in a flood of emotion that left me stunned. “Where the
After everything, it was just too much. To have Kevin scream at me with such intensity … I came this
close to hanging up on him. I don’t like being shouted at. But I owed him, big-time. Besides, there was a
ful moon. He was probably having aggression issues. My being pissy wouldn’t help. But how the hel
was I supposed to answer? I mean, so much had happened in the past few hours.
“Don’t you? I’ve been trying to cal . I keep getting your voice mail. And frankly, I’ve had bigger things
on my mind. Could you lower the volume, please? It’s stressing me out even worse.”
I heard him draw in a long, slow breath. “I’m sorry. I was worried. The last time, I cal ed your office.
Dawna said you left hours ago, something about going to Birchwoods. Did Vicki help you find out
anything?”
I paused, not quite sure how to proceed. Then I just said it. “Vicki’s dead, Kevin. She died last night,
at nearly the same time as I was attacked.” My throat tightened and I fought down a wave of tears.
There was stunned silence and then the sharp bang of the receiver hitting the table. I pul ed the phone
away from my ear in a rush. I miss my old hearing. He scrambled to pick up the phone again and I
could hear him breathing for a few moments while he gathered his thoughts. “Oh, shit. Celie. Hon, I’m
so sorry. Are you okay?”
Hel no, I wasn’t okay. What kind of stupid question was that? And did he just cal me hon? “I’ve been
at Birchwoods meeting with Dr. Scott about it. They don’t know the cause yet, but apparently it was
sudden. I hope ‘sudden’ means ‘painless.’ But I need to talk to you about something else. While I was
there …” I struggled to find the right words to describe what had happened but came up blank. Words
just seemed total y inadequate for the situation. Besides, how was I supposed to tel a man who turns
into a monster for three days of the month how terrified I’d been at my own bloodlust without insulting
him? “The sun went down.”
He figured out what I meant without any more prompting and started to swear. When he had himself
under control he asked, his voice taut with strain, “Did you kil anyone?”
Wow. Okay then. Talk about thinking in terms of worst-case scenarios. But I’d probably ask the same
thing of him, so who was I to judge? “No. I managed to control myself enough that I didn’t even hurt
anyone.”
His sigh of relief echoed down the phone line. “Thank God for that. You have no idea how worried
we’ve been. Everything we’ve been able to find says an abomination acts very much the same way as
a newly turned werewolf or vampire. Their first feeding is almost always fatal to the victim.” He sighed.
“I swear I didn’t know. Jones didn’t tel me. If he had, I wouldn’t have just let you run loose like that. God,
you could’ve—”
“Wel , I didn’t, ” I snarled. He wouldn’t have let me run loose? I didn’t like the tone this conversation
was taking. Yeah, he probably could’ve knocked me cold before I realized what was happening back in
the lab. Having gone through it now, I probably wouldn’t have even let me out of the restraints, or let me
leave without a guard. But hearing it put that bluntly made me angry.
“Celia—” There was a warning in his voice, as if he’d sensed my irritation. Maybe he had. Subtle is
not, after al , my best thing.
“Look, Vicki’s death hasn’t been made public yet, but it probably wil be soon. Can you cal Dawna,
Emma, your dad, and the others?”
He sighed. “It’d be better if Dawna heard it from you. But I’l tel Emma and Dad.”
I barely heard him and couldn’t seem to stop talking. “I’d do it myself”—I took a shaky breath—“but I
need to tel Alex. I real y don’t want to, but I don’t know who else would—”
There was a stunned silence. “Oh fuck. Alex.”
“Yeah.”
“I’l make the cal s.” I could hear his hair brush across the speaker as he undoubtedly shook his head.
“But Celia, you need to get somewhere … less public. And sooner rather than later.”
“Thanks. I know. And I wil . I promise.” I’d do it, too. It was too late to hunt my sire tonight, and I was in
no condition to do it. And while I have a lot of faith in myself, I’m real y not reckless or stupid. So tonight
I’d go to the estate and lock myself in tight, with lots of weapons to protect me. Tomorrow … wel , I’d
deal with tomorrow when it got here. “Look, there are things we need to discuss that we shouldn’t talk
about over the phone. If you’re not going out to the desert, can you meet me at my place in two hours?”
“Two hours? I think this needs to be dealt with a lot quicker than that.”
I had the distinct feeling we were talking about different things. I wasn’t sure what his “this” was, but I
was betting it wasn’t the same as my “this.” “Look, I have to stop by the pharmacy to pick up the stuff
the doctor ordered. Besides, you need to get some dinner. You haven’t eaten, have you?” I changed
the subject as graceful y as I could, putting the bal squarely in his court. Yes, I was going to go to the
pharmacy. But that would only take a few minutes. I wanted the extra time to be alone.
But first I needed to cal Alex.
Just thinking about it made my eyes fil and my throat tighten. God, how was I going to tel her? She
loves … loved Vicki so damned much. This was going to just kil her. But it would be worse, much
worse, if she found out on the news, or from some jerk of a reporter. No. I had to do this. Had to.
Alex wasn’t at work. I was glad about that. Nobody wants to get that kind of news at the office. She
didn’t answer at home at first, let the cal go to her old-fashioned answering machine. Only after I’d
started talking, giving my name and asking her to cal me, did she pick up.
She sounded like hel . It was obvious she’d been crying. Her voice was raw and had that odd thick
quality that comes when your nose is stuffed from crying.
“You’re cal ing to tel me, aren’t you?”
“You already know.” It wasn’t a question.
“She came to me in the car on my way home from work. I barely managed to pul over without getting
in a wreck.”
I wasn’t surprised, after al , wasn’t that exactly what Vicki had done with me? And while she loved me
like a friend, Alex was her lover, the woman she might eventual y have married, now that the law
al owed it.
“I’m so sorry, Al. I know you loved each other very much.”
“Yeah.” The word was choked and rough, barely audible.
“Are you going to be okay?” I could barely say the words and tears were streaming down my face,
dripping off my nose.
“No.”
“Me either.”
I hung up and the tears overcame me—as though a dam had burst. Deep, wracking sobs of grief and
loss shook my body. I’d just start to get a grip on myself when another memory would hit, setting off
another wave of grief. I cried until there were no more tears, my head ached, and my throat was raw.
For a long time after that I just sat there, numb and too exhausted to move. Eventual y, I pul ed myself
together and started the engine with a roar. With a squeal of tires that was visceral y satisfying I took
off into the night.
I could’ve turned right onto the expressway, taking the artificial y bright, straight four-lane highway
directly through town. Traffic would be light at this time of night. But I chose to turn left, back onto
Ocean View. I didn’t know how much time I’d wasted crying, and I didn’t care. If I was late, Kevin would
just have to wait. Too much had happened in the past twenty-four hours. I needed a few more minutes
of peace and solitude to get a grip.
So I put the top down and sped along the winding road. The sky was perfectly clear, the moon riding
high in the sky, bathing the ocean in silver light that fractured in ripples as the waves broke onto the
shore. The salt-laden wind blew my hair back. I tuned the radio to the classical station, turning the
volume up loud enough that I could hear it over the wind. Al too soon I was back on the outskirts of
civilization, where street lamps cast swaths of artificial daylight that only made the shadows seem that
much darker and more menacing. Because make no mistake, the predators were out there. Say what
they wil about “taking back the night,” most humans prefer to stay home, behind their thresholds.
Those who do venture out do so mostly to attend big events where the police and the warrior priests
are out in force to provide protection.
I switched off the radio as it started playing yet another commercial advertising job openings for “true
believers” to work the graveyard shift. Sad to say, even with absolute proof of monsters and demons,
true believers were stil hard to come by. Hard enough that the convenience stores real y couldn’t
afford to pay them what they were worth—any more than the stores could afford more lawsuits over
slaughtered cashiers.
On that particularly cheery note I pul ed into the driveway of my twenty-four-hour pharmacy. I felt the
tingle of power as I passed the magical boundaries, but it wasn’t painful. Not even close to the barriers
they’d erected at the library or clinic. Then again, this was a chain store. They only put in enough
money to do the minimum necessary to salve their consciences and mitigate any damages should
there be a lawsuit.
A bel sounded as I pul ed under the awning. A teenage boy with crooked teeth and a bright silver
cross on a black leather choker around his neck slid back the window to greet me. “Welcome to