by Lisa Harris
She breathed a sigh of relief at his response and glanced over the edge of the snow-covered railing. A hint of moonlight had emerged from behind the clouds, leaving a white glow. But this time she couldn’t see the beauty of the surrounding view. Jinx and his men might not be here yet, but they were out there and determined to find her.
Griffin wiped a snowflake off her cheek. “We’re going to get through this. I promise.”
But he couldn’t promise her that. No matter how much he wanted to protect her, there were limits to what he could do at this point.
“And if they show up?” She raised her walking stick. “How are we supposed to defend against them?”
“We have the advantage of being up here.”
She frowned. While it was true that they might have a better line of sight from their position, she wasn’t convinced this was any safer. She still felt completely vulnerable.
“Let’s get back inside where it’s warm,” he said. “The sun will be up in an hour, which means this is almost over.”
So that was it. They just had to make it another hour.
The wind caught the door as he opened it, slamming it wide. A second later a pile of snow slid off the roof and dumped onto Griffin’s head. He let out a shout then quickly shook it off before stepping into the room.
She couldn’t help but giggle as she followed him inside, scurrying to light the candle and find him a blanket.
“You think it’s funny?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s definitely funny.”
He grabbed a clump of snow stuck to his jacket shoulder and threw it at her, catching her by surprise.
“I was going to tell you that I owe you one, but we might be even now.” She realized how tired he looked despite the mischievous smile on his lips. “You never went to sleep, did you?”
He shook his head like it was no big deal. “Sleep is overrated.”
“Says who? You look exhausted.”
“There is no way I could sleep now. Besides, you told me not to lay down.”
“I never meant you shouldn’t sleep.” She lit the candle and then grabbed her cup off the table, needing a distraction from his nearness. “How about a refill? I’m sure these are cold.”
“I’d like that.” He turned on the gas stove again for the kettle. “Have you been able to remember anything else about your sister?”
“A few things, but it’s strange how the memories surface. At first there are random pieces, but every time I think something comes together, I find another hole.”
“So you still don’t remember who was with you that day?”
Tory shook her head. “When I think about it, I feel as if I’m protecting someone. But I can’t see their face. It makes sense that Elizabeth was the one with me that day, but I can’t ever quite see what happened. It’s scary.”
“It will come. I’m sure of it.”
“But when and at what price? And there’s something else that scares me. Someone in the FBI had to know there was another witness, assuming I told them. It makes sense that I might have tried to make a deal to protect whoever was with me. Especially if it was Elizabeth.”
“I know this has been hard, Tory, but I was given the job to protect you, and I plan to do just that.”
She caught his gaze, surprised by the intensity of his expression. She felt her heart pound. There was something about his eyes that managed to pierce straight through her, and for a moment, she wanted him to do more than just protect her. She wanted him to gather her into his arms and kiss her...
But no. She wasn’t under any false illusions. His motivation to protect her stemmed from his job. From a sense of duty. Nothing more. And it was crazy to think there was anything personal about the situation. Besides, she certainly wasn’t in a position to allow her own feelings to get carried away. Not when she was still struggling to pull up memories of who she was.
“Let’s try another angle,” he said. “What do you remember about your hometown?”
His question yanked her back to reality.
She closed her eyes and worked to pull the pieces together. “Adobe houses...snow in the winter...green chile stew.”
“Green chile stew?” He scrunched his brows together. “Arizona... New Mexico?”
Something clicked in her mind. “Santa Fe.”
“Now that’s progress. I visited there once. It’s beautiful.”
“It is. The Rocky Mountains, large plains, and a rich history...” Details continued to emerge, but nothing about that day. Why couldn’t she remember?
“I have an apartment in the city close to where I work, but I’ve always loved coming up here on vacation. Even dreamed about having my own cabin up here one day.”
She breathed in, relieved at the memories that were emerging. Terrified of the ones she still couldn’t grasp.
“I have a piece of land I bought a few years ago,” Griffin said. “You’d love it. There are views of the mountains, lots of pines and aspens, hunting, fishing...”
His pause left space for her to imagine briefly the two of them building a home and raising a family. She pushed away the thoughts. That wasn’t a place she needed to go to. His job—his only job—was to keep her safe. Nothing more.
“You mentioned you’d thought of leaving here,” she said. “What are you looking for?”
“Funny...my brother just asked me the same thing.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That I didn’t know,” he said.
“Sometimes it’s not the place that matters most, but rather the person you’re with.”
“That’s pretty profound.”
She yawned as the kettle started whistling again and she moved to fill their mugs, not sure why she’d said that. Was there someone back home waiting for her? Someone she was already planning to put down roots with?
She yawned again then handed him his drink, unable to shake both the fatigue and the fear.
“Why don’t you go lie down another hour until the sun comes up?” he said. “You’ll feel better.”
“There’s no way I can sleep. The bad weather didn’t stop Jinx’s men before, and I know it won’t stop them now.” She glanced at the dark windows and tried to stuff down the looming fear. “Lately, I’ve wondered which is more frightening. Reality or my dreams. I can’t escape it.”
“Fear can be debilitating.” Griffin took a sip of his coffee. “I was at a men’s breakfast a couple of weeks ago with my church. They were discussing when Jesus was out on the boat with his disciples during the storm, and how fear is tied to doubt. It reminded me that no matter what is happening around me, God is in control. It almost sounds like a cliché, but He told us not to be afraid or discouraged because He is with us.”
She knew he was right, but that still didn’t make it easy. “It’s hard when there’s a storm raging out there both literally and figuratively. I believe God’s in control. But this...? I don’t know how to handle all of this.”
“And I don’t think Jesus was saying we couldn’t fear. Fears in this world are real. Think about how Elijah feared Jezebel, Moses feared facing Pharaoh and the Israelites, Elijah was depressed. But God was always with them. Even through the tough moments.”
“Then why is putting that into practice so hard?” she asked.
“You have to believe He’s still there. Every step of the way.”
When you go through the deep waters, I will be with you.
She liked Griffin because he wasn’t afraid to voice his weaknesses or to admit he relied on someone else. There seemed to be something refreshing about that.
“I needed that reminder, because all of this...it’s pretty overwhelming for me.” She took a sip of her drink. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Okay.”
“When I asked you earlier if you’d ever
been afraid for your life or for someone you loved, you told me about a situation with your brother and his wife. But I sensed there was someone else you were thinking about.”
She set down her coffee, suddenly feeling the tension that had slipped between them. She had no idea why she’d felt the urge to ask him such a probing question, except she’d seen something in his eyes that had left her wondering what he hadn’t told her. And now that same look of sadness was back.
* * *
Griffin shifted in his chair at the question. This loss wasn’t something he talked about. Not even to his family. Too much hurt came with the memories, so leaving it in the past had always seemed like the best thing to do. But something about this situation and Tory sitting beside him made him want to peel back the thick layers of protection around his heart and share with her on a deeper level.
“Her name was Lilly,” he began. “We met at university and started dating our sophomore year. I eventually met her family, and was thinking about proposing, but there was something she didn’t really talk to me about until it was too late.”
The howling wind whipped around the structure as the memories began to emerge. He drew in a slow breath while Tory sat silent beside him, waiting for him to continue. Part of him wanted to find an excuse to change the subject. The other part wanted her to understand him more.
“She had an old boyfriend,” he said, finally continuing. “Parker Reynolds. They dated throughout high school, but then she broke up with him the summer after they graduated. He stayed in their small hometown and worked while she left for college, but he was obsessed with her and resented the breakup. Couldn’t stand the idea that she didn’t love him and was going out with other guys while she was away from home.
“At first, he just sent text messages or left voice mails, but then he started physically stalking her. He’d show up at her job or apartment and leave some clue that he’d been there, or talk to someone she knew, asking questions and creeping them out.”
“And she never told you any of this?”
He shook his head. “She did mention there was this crazy guy who she’d gone out with in high school, but she made me think it wasn’t a big deal. Like, he was just an old boyfriend. I never thought he’d hurt her. And I don’t think she did, either.”
“I can’t even imagine.”
“The day she went missing, we were supposed to meet for dinner, but I ended up canceling at the last minute because I had a big paper due and needed to work. She said that was fine, but that she needed to talk to me about something later that night. I probably wouldn’t have worried too much, except she normally would have answered when I called and I couldn’t get hold of her. I thought she’d gone to bed early.”
But that wasn’t why she hadn’t answered.
“The next morning my phone rang. I expected it to be her, but it wasn’t. Instead it was her parents and I knew at that moment something horrible had happened.”
And it had.
He stood and went to the window, wishing he could erase the guilt. He’d dealt with it over the years the best he could, sticking it into a box and trying to stuff it away, but all these years later the guilt over not stopping what happened to Lilly was still there when he thought about her.
“The police had found her body in the trunk of a car.”
Tory pressed her hand against her mouth. “Oh, Griffin... I am so, so sorry. I can’t even imagine how hard that had to have been to go through. How much something like that must still affect you today.”
He felt the familiar guilt well up as she stared at the flickering candle casting shadows across the room. “If I’d been with her that evening like I’d promised... If I hadn’t let work get in the way...she might be alive today. I’ll never know, but I believe she wanted to tell me about him. Instead she died and I...”
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
“Couldn’t save her,” she finally finished for him.
Griffin nodded.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“That’s what everyone told me, but it’s still hard not to ask the what-if.”
“Is that why you became a deputy?”
He caught her gaze, amazed at how she seemed able to read him. To understand him.
“At the time I was studying sports medicine, but after that...it changed me. I knew I couldn’t sit back and let something like that happen to someone else.”
“So you’re atoning for the guilt.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you were thinking it. And I think you still believe you have to. Think about why you’re sitting here right now. You didn’t have to agree to the FBI’s request. You could have easily passed me off to someone else, but you didn’t.”
He didn’t want to admit it, but somehow she’d managed to hit the truth straight on.
“Do you know what I see?” she continued.
He shook his head, not sure he wanted to hear what she had to say.
“I see a man with a love for family and country. A man who would do anything to help someone else. A man who would put his life on the line to save not only the woman he loves, like with Lilly, but a complete stranger like me. Losing Lilly is now a part of who you are, and that can never be changed.”
Griffin turned away from her probing gaze. He hadn’t intended to open up to her, but there was something more going on here than just protecting an assigned case. He wanted to keep her safe, but he also couldn’t shake the feelings that were growing. He couldn’t go there again, though. Besides, he’d dated a few women over the years since Lilly’s death, but no one had ever been able to break down the wall around his heart, and he had no intention of changing that now.
And that wasn’t the only issue. How well could he get to know Tory when she didn’t remember who she was? He’d somehow managed to make this job personal, something he never should have done. It was his duty to save and protect her. And when this was over, he’d move on. Nothing more would come of this.
“I’m sorry if I pushed,” she said.
“Forget it.”
He dumped the rest of his now cold coffee in the sink. He’d explained to Tory how losing someone he loved had changed him and made him who he was today. That didn’t mean he was interested in her romantically, and even if he was, she would leave when all this was over. He started rinsing out the cup. It was time to get his personal feelings out of the way.
“Griffin?”
He glanced across the room to where she still sat.
“Do you smell smoke?”
Griffin ran toward the window of the watchtower, praying she was just being paranoid, but he smelled something, as well. Still, a forest fire this time of year with the terrain covered in snow was highly unlikely.
Unless it wasn’t an accident.
“Yeah...I smell it, too.”
He followed the window around then discovered the source of the smoke. Yellow and orange flames crackled along the bottom of the tower as the strong scent of gasoline mingled with the burning timber above the bottom floor’s stone foundation. The muscles in his jaw tensed. They were here. Jinx’s men. This was definitely no accident. They’d set the structure on fire.
TEN
“Griffin, how are we supposed to get out of here?”
He caught the panic in Tory’s voice as he quickly ran through their options. Even if it were possible to put out the fire, there was no running water in the facility, but that wasn’t their biggest issue at the moment. There was only one exit, which meant that to get out they had to go outside and take the stairs. No doubt Jinx’s men would be waiting for them at the bottom, leaving them vulnerable to an ambush, which he was sure was their plan. He felt for his gun, still in his holster, worried about the consequences of a showdown. If they tried to escape down those stairs, one or both of them was liable to get shot,
because Jinx wasn’t going to play games. He was here to get the information he needed to end this.
“Griffin?”
He turned to her, glad to catch the spark of determination in her eye. She was ready to fight, which was exactly what they needed, but she was also relying on him to get them out of this.
“We have to find a way to use the fire against them.” Grabbing one of the flashlights and turning it on, he started rummaging through the cabinets where the supplies were kept, still formulating his plan. If the men were expecting them to escape down the stairwell, they had to do the unexpected. But they had to hurry.
“The smoke,” she said. “We could use it for cover.”
He nodded. “That’s what I’m thinking. See if you can find something to cover our faces.”
He stopped for a moment and glanced out the windows again to determine the direction of the wind. The smoke was blowing north, which was perfect for his plan. He dug through the cabinet where they’d found the first-aid kit, water, flashlights and other supplies.
“What are you looking for?”
“There used to be some rope in here.” He opened the last cupboard and finally found what he was looking for. He quickly pulled out the large coils sitting in the back of one of the cupboards. “Do you know anything about rappelling?”
She handed him a dishcloth for his face and frowned. “You mean rappelling with just a rope? No harness or anchor?”
He nodded. “I know it’s risky, but they’re waiting for us below. If we walk down those stairs, there will be no way out of this. We’ve got to find an advantage.”
This time it was fear that registered in her eyes. “You’re wanting to rappel down the backside of the structure?”
He nodded again. “I know it sounds crazy, but the smoke should hide our movements if we hurry and they’re not expecting us to climb down.”
“I agree, but what about you? You’re in no condition to rappel out of here. If you have a broken rib, you could easily puncture a lung by putting too much strain on your rib cage.”