Harry felt a shift coming, but he tried to suppress it as he dialed Jared's number. His whole body shook with fear and adrenaline as the dial tone sounded once, twice, three times, then the connection broke. Swearing heartily, he tried again, but with the same results. Wherever Jared was, he had no reception. Maybe whoever stalked around out there was also after Jared? What if he was already gone, or dead, or dying in some ditch?
"Deep breaths, Harry, deep breaths, don't let it take you," he mumbled through numb lips, trying hard to suppress the urge to change shape. Shuddering, he threw the phone on his desk, took a few steps back and rubbed his prickling arms. If he could just slow his breathing, only a little, he would—
The skin on his back ripped with a wet, popping sound. Not even Harry's prayers could stop the shift to his wolf form now.
When Harry opened his eyes again, he was greeted by the sharp tang of dog piss. Ripped pieces of clothing, feathers from his damaged pillow and a chewed up shoe surrounded him. A smallish turd resided next to the scratched up door, wet spots decorated the table leg of his desk, and at some point during the night, his wolf had slept on the bed, making it a dog's dinner, so to speak.
Groaning, Harry closed his eyes again and tried to whisk himself away into another realm, where people didn't lose their recollections of a whole night just because of a lousy anxiety attack. He'd thought he was over such child-like problems. Losing the wolf-memories or disconnecting the human side from the wolf side in a change was common in teenagers, but usually stopped when a werewolf reached his adulthood. Which meant that Harry had just had a flash-back episode. Great. What was next, bed wetting?
He carefully peeled open his eyes again. His room was still messed up and nothing had changed. So much for the power of thought.
Collecting himself off the floor with a curse, he rubbed his pounding head and took a look around. His books were untouched, his phone still lay on the desk where he'd put it the night before, and since nobody was hammering on his door, he could safely assume that there hadn't been any reason for his neighbors to call animal control or the police.
Sending a short, thankful prayer to the powers that be, he hurriedly cleaned up the feces, then scrubbed the desk leg and the floor with soap and water. Pushing the windows open he let in clean, fresh autumn air that blew around scattered feathers and alleviated the stink while Harry collected the leftovers of his shoe and the pillow in a garbage bag. The dirty, messed up bed sheet and blanket covers would require more work, so he changed them and put them into a laundry basket.
Harry itched to call Jared, to find out if he was okay, but he'd have to calm down first; another involuntary change would just cost him a few more hours that he couldn't spare right now. The only way to avoid another attempt to call was for him to go out of his way with busying his hands, and to stay away from his phone. He decided to take his dirty clothes down to the laundry room and try reaching Jared after that. It took him a total of two hours to go through all of his dirty clothes and the bedding, but when he eventually carried his stuff back to his room, he felt much calmer.
All his calm vanished when he heard the distinct ring tone of his mobile phone through his locked dorm room door. He dropped the laundry to scramble for the keys in his jeans pocket, scurried to his desk and ripped off the charger cable, answering the call breathlessly.
"Hello?"
"It's me, Jared. I found Darwin, but he's injured," a familiar, moody voice huffed. The words made Harry's heart stumble. Darwin was hurt? The small bit of information spurred Harry's heart into a panicked staccato, blurred his vision, and brought back the itching along his back.
"Where are you? Where is he? Can I talk to him?" Harry asked, balling his hand into a fist to keep his instincts in check. Jared wouldn't have called him if he didn't need Harry's help, and he wouldn't be able to help if he behaved like an uncontrolled puppy again.
"No you can't. He's got healing fever, and it's getting worse, so I need you to do something for me. Are you listening?" Jared sounded so angry, but the anger wasn't meant for him. Whoever had hurt Darwin would pay if Jared ever got to them, that was for sure.
Harry had a pretty good inkling as to who was to blame, but it wasn't his place to tell-- not yet. "What do you need?" he said, biting down the millions of other questions laying on the tip of his tongue.
"I need Ibuprofen, as high a dosage as you can get it. Some clothes from my room, something for Darwin too. And some light food. Can you manage that?"
Harry tightened his grip on his phone, frozen with nightmarish visions about what could have happened to incapacitate Darwin so bad he went into healing fever. Only when the hard plastic crunched did he snap out of his daze.
"Yes. Send me the coordinates. It'll take me about an hour to get the stuff together, but I'll hurry." It wouldn't be too hard to get into Darwin's room, the dorm master had seen them together dozens of times. Getting into Jared's room would need more convincing, but Harry had a pretty good incentive to try his best. The Ibuprofen was the least of his worries.
Harry still wanted to ask what had happened, but Jared ended the call with a curt "See you." He stared at his phone for long seconds, shook himself and rushed his laundry inside before taking off.
Just as he came to the stairwell leading down to the exit, something hard hit the back of his head, hard enough to kill a human, hard enough to send a werewolf to sleep, and he went down as the world around him blackened.
Jared
"Get out of my way!" Darwin screeched, shoving Jared in an attempt to get him out of the cabin's doorway. Just standing up had him huff with exertion, his eyes glassy and opaque in his feverish face, but the weakness didn't seem to slow him down or divert him from his intention to run after Harry. If this went on, blows would be exchanged. Darwin still was gravely injured and Jared had a hard time figuring out what to do if he wanted to avoid hurting him further, be it mental or physical harm. He hadn't anticipated such a strong reaction to the news of Harry's disappearance. Things had rapidly evolved from a barely contained kind of angry resolve to a yell-fest and by now, Darwin seemed ready to punch Jared just to get past him. Time to act.
Stepping out of the way, he let Darwin hobble outside and into the cool fall sunshine but followed him closely. Darwin still was very weak, his injuries occasionally bleeding, and Jared had no trouble keeping up with the simmering submissive.
"Listen, Darwin," he began and dodged a flailing fist directed at his chest. Darwin didn't even stop walking, not caring if he missed or not, but Jared didn't give up that easily. "Just listen, okay? You can keep walking if you want, but you won't stop me from talking!"
Darwin didn't respond at first, but then he stopped with a pained expression and turned around. His voice dripped acid again. "Fine. But whatever you say, I've already made up my mind."
"You're not well. Don't get me wrong, you being all heroic does have a certain sex appeal, but I'm not into dead bodies. If you go out there, you'll find Harry alright. And then he'll have to watch you die like a sickly, frail wuss who couldn't even put a scratch on his attackers." Jared took a deep breath and kept his gaze on Darwin's face. The darkness in those icy-blue eyes made him falter a little, but not only was he absolutely sure of his words, he also feared for Darwin's life.
"I don't want to force you to stay, but if I let you walk, you'll fall down and never get up, somewhere out there where I won't find you in time. You'll never make it to the main road and Harry will never know what a loyal friend he has. And me? I'll have to watch you force yourself to walk, I'll have to watch you fall and stand up again until you can't, and I'll know if I tried to help you, you'd hate me for the rest of your life. Please, don't do that to Harry and me."
Darwin's gaze wavered. He peered over his shoulder and then down the dirt road as if calculating his chances and Jared kept quiet until their gazes met again. Panic tingled in his finger tips and he didn't dare to make another move or say too much. Only when Darwin lowered his eyes to hi
s shoes did Jared resume talking.
"I want you to save Harry. I want to help you save him, but I want us to succeed. This is as much my fault as whoever did this to you, and I'm ready to back you up in whatever crazy thing you want to do— once you've recovered enough to actually go through with it. We need a plan and you need to get better, but we can't do either of that if you stumble down that road in the state you're in."
Darwin stood there in silence. Then he raised his eyes, looked desolately at Jared and whispered: "What if they killed him?" His voice sounded broken, faint and so full of sorrow, it tugged at Jared's heart.
Breathing through the shared pain hurt like hell. "If they've killed him, you being there won't change that. But if they haven't yet, they'll surely do it as soon as they've killed you. His best chance is you in a condition to fight and actually rescue him."
Darwin swayed. Jared was next to him in a split second, both arms extended to catch him if he did faint, but he didn't anticipate Darwin first leaning against him, then hugging him as the black haired hell-dog started to sob silently.
"I hate this! I hate being weak," Darwin sniffled against Jared's chest.
"I won't tell anyone, promise."
They stood like this for a while, then Darwin haltingly let go, wiped his face with one sleeve, and hobbled back into the hunting cabin. Jared didn't like how much Darwin's posture resembled a broken man. He had won this battle, but the victory tasted somewhat bitter.
A few hours later, Darwin had recovered enough to be somewhat coherent. He sat awkwardly on the cot, sipping hot cocoa from instant powder as Jared buzzed through the shelves and cabinets in search for food. They had eaten the last of the canned peaches this morning and Jared had yet to find the guts to open one of those unmarked, neutral cans sitting in the back of one shelf.
As nutrition and rest were the most important tools in Darwin's recovery, Jared had insisted on being in charge of housekeeping. Had he known how many little things one had to do to keep Darwin on the cot instead of taking over, he might have kept his mouth shut.
"I want to know what you're planning," Darwin growled, clenching his mug. His eyes burned into Jared's back, watching every move. He sympathized with the unrest the submissive werewolf experienced, his frustration about not being able to do anything, his growing anger at the world as a whole. This was not going to be a fun weekend.
He found a plastic box of crackers behind a few packs of sugar, pulled it out and dropped it onto the cot. "There, eat," Jared sighed and slumped onto the camping chair. He already dreaded their talk, though he had no idea why.
"I don't have a polished plan yet because I don't know who we're up against. It's time you tell me what happened, and why, then we can talk about strategies to fix it." He pointed at the crackers. "Don't fiddle around with the label, eat."
Jared watched quietly as Darwin ripped open the box, threw him a dark glance and started munching. Darwin's stomach growled in appreciation, but he still made a tortured face and put the box away after the third cracker.
"It's none of your business, okay? I know who has Harry and where he is, so let's just work with that," Darwin muttered, picking at the cracker box label again. He wouldn't meet Jared's gaze, but the Alpha was having none of it.
"You can't tell me you love me and then say your life is none of my business."
That got Darwin's attention alright. His eyes snapped up to Jared's. "I never said that!" His fingers bore into the frayed label, ripping it in half, and his eyes widened.
"Yes you did. Yesterday, when I tended to your wounds. You said 'I love you' and then you blacked out." Jared couldn't keep the triumph out of his voice, but at least he managed to keep his grin at bay.
A rosy glow emerged on Darwin's cheeks as he studied his lap again. "I was high on pain medication, you moron," he huffed, but the words didn't sound as hostile as usual. Silence settled, with Jared letting him stew and Darwin fighting the urge to fidget. At last, he sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you. But it's a long story."
When Jared simply nodded, he swallowed and took a deep breath.
"I was about seven years old when I was bitten. I can't remember anything before that and I don't really remember how it happened. I can only tell you what my adoptive father told me. They found me near the highway, behind an abandoned gas station, and I was close to death. They didn't know what had attacked me until a month later, when I first changed." A small smile appeared on Darwin's lips.
"At that age? How the hell did that happen?"
Darwin shrugged noncommittally. "Who knows? It doesn't happen often that kids get bitten, so who's to say that it wouldn't be like this for everyone who isn't born but turned? I just know that it is how it is."
It was hard not to burst out shouting at Darwin's blasé attitude, but Jared's curiosity would have to wait. "Fine, go on."
Darwin grinned. "I know what you're thinking, don't worry. It wasn't as easy as I made it sound just now. I nearly went insane, but my adoptive parents did everything they possibly could. They stayed up day and night, took shifts next to the cellar door where they locked me up when I changed. They never got angry, never allowed me to blame myself when I had attacked somebody, and they never let anyone outside our pack get hurt by me. In return, I moved heaven and earth to become the best son they could ever wish for. I was class president, brought home A's on all the exams, helped at the community center in my spare time..."
His voice trailed off, then he scoffed sarcastically and inspected his palms. The bitter tone Jared had gotten so used to was back in his voice when he continued. "But as soon as I changed, I was nothing but a beast, an animal. A mindless, scared, angry killing machine, and they had to put me away every time the moon was full. Nothing helped, no amount of love and training stopped the wolf in me from running wild. The Alpha, Carl, even suggested I should be humanely put down to spare my parents the grief, but my father never gave up on me. George always said that he had faith in me, faith in my ability to control my wolf, but I didn't really believe him. Didn't want to believe him, I guess."
"And then, one day, this kid showed up at high school. Shy, dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair, but he made me tingle all over, every time he glanced at me. And he knew what he did to me, and he wasn't shy at all, at least not in private." Darwin hadn't looked up while he was talking, but now he grinned at Jared, winked, and lowered his eyes again.
His happy face only vanished when he continued. "Nevil was gay, and when I finally admitted that I was gay too, we became an item, even though he didn't know how long he'd be staying in Banes. His parents moved a lot due to their jobs. But besides that, I had just turned fifteen, and as you well know, that's an important time for a werewolf. They said I'd know instinctively 'what' I'd be, submissive or dominant, but I hadn't figured it out yet. I only knew that I liked it when Nevil took over and I knew I was in deep shit when, one day, Carl walked in on us. It was then, at that moment, when I saw his crazy eyes."
Again Darwin fell silent for a second, his body rigid. His shoulders were pulled up, his head bent down, and he clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. Only his bitter voice remained unchanged.
"He didn't do anything, didn't say anything, he just gave me that... look, such a cold look, and walked out. Like I was the biggest disappointment he'd ever seen in his life, just because I was the small spoon in bed instead of the big, hunky spoon. Looking back, I think what made it worse for Carl was Nevil's lithe and small body. This wasn't an athlete dominating me with sheer power. Nevil was just a tiny boy, still I went crazy when he took me from behind."
It was the worst time to get a boner. Jared tried to hide his arousal as much as possible, but he didn't have to worry. Darwin didn't look up again, he just shrank into himself further and further.
"I guess he wrote me off as a submissive that day, but I didn't have time to think about it because three days later my mother died. It was a stupid thing, a brain aneurysm that killed her instantly, and even though h
er death hit me harder than anything else in my life, my father was worse off. He wouldn't eat, slept all the time, didn't wash or put on clothes, and I had to run the house for a month. There was no time to think about my outing in the pack. But when my father didn't recover, something happened. People started disappearing. A whole family left the pack over night and never came back. Rumors started to make rounds about missing or dead submissives and even though the deaths were allegedly accidents, people knew that it wasn't the whole story.
Six months later someone broke into our house and attacked my grandmother, who had moved in with us to help my heartbroken father. They beat her up so badly, she drowned in her own blood. When my father found her, he had a stroke,... suddenly I was all alone."
Another silence followed, but Jared's boner had long since deflated from disgust and now tried to crawl back into his pelvis.
"I think it was Carl all along. I think he murdered all the other submissives, drove whole families away, and broke into my house to find and kill me. My grandmother was a liability, that's why she had to die. The only reason I can think of why he didn't finish me sooner is my father's stroke. As soon as I made that connection, I knew that I could never admit to being a submissive. He’d kill me next. I outed myself as a dominant to the pack. Just as I had done as a kid in school, I got really, really good at playing that role. Carl didn't truly believe me, though, so he started to test me. He made a game of torturing and teasing me, but I met his every move. I was prepared. I was perfect because my life depended on it, mine and that of my father. Can you imagine what would happen to him if I died? Carl first thought he'd catch me red-handed when the moon was full, but my wolf was very consistent with his rages and behaved just like before. He was never one hundred percent sure if he was wrong or right about me."
Some part of Darwin seemed to realize how much he was cowering He unthinkingly straightened his back and rolled his shoulders until he sat bolt upright. Jared was grabbing the armrests of his camping chair so hard the cloth had started to rip, but neither of them heard it, they were so enraptured. One of them by telling the story, the other one by listening and fighting an enraged shape shift.
Unwilling: a shifter romance Page 9