by Jeff Oliver
“Focus on your own-self, LizZ. I got this.”
“Only thing you got is a view of my tailpipe as I drive right past your massive haul.”
“Did you just call me fat?” said Ghana. “Did she just call me fat? Ms. Jennings, I want to talk to HR immediately.”
“I was talking about your truck,” said LizZ.
“Tell it to my lawyer.”
“Oh, it’s on now, boy!” said Cowboy with a “yee-haw.”
And the chaos continued…
Many hundreds of miles away in a computer lab at The Newberry Academy, just outside of Reno, Nevada, Nathan Sinek signed on for unsupervised game time. A pretty girl his age walked by and waved tentatively, and Nathan waved back. He looked around to see if anyone else was watching and then signed on to Minecraft: Survival Mode. He scanned his list of potential online combatants. “Sara” was still unlit in gray. Nathan sighed.
Since his mom had checked into that expensive rehab, there was almost no one left in his family to chat with. A popup came onto the screen: “A New Minecraft User has entered. Do you want to interact with Chasing_Pavement?” Nathan’s face spread into a smile. He pressed “yes.”
“Ruti?” he typed.
“Call me Adele,” came the reply.
“Ready to have your butt kicked again?” he wrote.
“Bring it,” wrote Ruti.
In a medical clinic in a small Israeli village on the northern border of Gaza, Ruti signed off of Minecraft: Survival Mode and shut down her computer. She pulled off her nursing scrubs, put on some sweats, and walked out into the waiting room, where anxious mothers soothed babies with sore throats and ear infections. A plaque next to a small play area cited the generous financial contribution of a group known only as “With The Angels.”
Ruti was almost at the exit when she noticed a mother at check-in holding a screaming baby whose arm was stuck in a long white vase.
“Half an hour?!” the mother cried. “But my baby is in pain!”
“Then pull her arm out of the vase,” said the clerk at the counter.
“But it will hurt her!” said the mother, and the baby screamed even louder.
“I got this,” Ruti cut in. She pulled out her medical gloves.
“Oh thank you,” the woman said. “Are you a doctor?”
“A nurse,” said Ruti. “Do me a favor, sign in and I’ll take you to the doctor right now. I can hold her while you fill it out.”
“Yes, of course,” the woman said.
The woman handed Ruti the screaming baby and leaned over to fill out the paperwork. She had not yet touched pen to paper when the baby’s screaming ceased. She looked up to see Ruti holding the vase in one hand and the baby in the other. The baby cooed.
“No charge,” Ruti said, handing the baby back to her mother.
“But how?” the woman said.
“Force,” Ruti said. “Sometimes it works best.” Then she headed out the door.
Tough Israeli chick.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Deeply grateful to Nancy Foley, Emily Schultz, Brian Joseph Davis, David Bell, and Tim Hedberg for suffering through early drafts of this book and being so incredibly helpful in your feedback. Thank you, brave saints!
Want to thank Kevin Lee, who brought me into the TV business and has always been a great friend and mentor.
And to my pal Brian Lando, who guided me onto the network side, affording me the opportunity to work with so many talented chefs, producers, and food personalities.
To the good folks at Bancroft Press and Publisher Bruce Bortz for believing in this book, and for being a dream to work with at every step of the process.
Finally: to my favorite reader Evan Oliver, to my parents Analee Stein and Joe Oliver, to Bonita Blazer, and to my brother Dave whose support and encouragement is always gold.
And of course to my darling wife Liz, who goads me to write, sometimes by cooking up shakshuka with a side of homemade, world-altering hummus. Love you.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Author Photo by Stuart Tyson stuarttysonphoto.com
Jeff Oliver is Vice President of Current Production at Bravo TV. He is a former Food Network producer and executive with credits that include “Big Brother,” “Last Comic Standing,” and “The Simple Life.” At Food Network, Jeff oversaw some of the network’s most successful shows, including “Cupcake Wars,”“Worst Cooks In America,” “Food Network Star,” and “Chef Wanted With Anne Burrell.” He also developed the long-running series “Cutthroat Kitchen,” as well as Cooking Channel’s “The Freshman Class” and “The Culinary Adventures Of Baron Ambrosia.”
Prior to being at Food Network, Jeff was a freelance Supervising Producer in Los Angeles working with production companies that included Magical Elves, Bunim/Murray Productions, Ryan Seacrest Productions, and World of Wonder. A graduate of McGill University, Jeff has an MFA in Fiction from Brooklyn College (CUNY), and his debut novel, “Failure to Thrive,” was published by DC Books.
Jeff’s wife, Liz Blazer, is an award-winning filmmaker, art director, visual artist, designer, animator, and educator. She also happens to have co-designed the “Two Plate” book cover.
The two live together in suburban New York City with their son.