Vanara

by Anand Neelakantan

  ‘Hmm, do you love him so much, Tara that you would even justify his villainy? Do you hate me so much Tara?’

  ‘Oh God, how will I prove the truth?’

  ‘What truth, Tara? The truth that you married him the moment you were sure I died? The truth that you gave birth to his son?’

  ‘He is your son, Baali,’ Tara said in anger. She was no longer sacred. Baali had crossed all limits.

  ‘He looks like him, Tara.’

  ‘And you look like Sugreeva,’ Tara retorted.

  Baali had no answer for that.

  ‘I . . . I don’t know, Tara. I want to believe you, I want to believe that he is my son, but I can’t Tara.’ Baali sat on the bed with a thud. He stared at Angada.

  ‘Sugreeva hasn’t even touched me,’ she said in a flat voice, looking away. Baali looked at the tear glistening in her eyes and sighed.

  ‘I know you won’t believe me,’ she scoffed at him. Baali looked away.

  ‘Alright,’ Tara said, ‘I will prove it the way the women of Aryavartha prove their chastity. I will do Agnipariksha. If I have lied, the flames would consume me. If I’m pure–’

  Baali stood up, ‘Tara–’

  ‘If that is the only way to prove–’ She was unable to complete the sentence and she looked down.

  ‘Tara, we’re Vanaras. I don’t need Agnipariksha to believe my wife, but . . .’

  Tara looked at him, ready to face whatever he demands.

  ‘But . . . can you vouch on your son that . . .’

  ‘Our son . . .’

  Baali stood speechless. He stared at Angada who was now playing with a rattle and cooing in the cradle. Baali took him up and the baby watched his face without blinking. A drop of tear ran down Baali’s cheeks.

  ‘What is his name?’

  ‘Angada,’ Tara said in a hoarse voice. She moved near Baali and his hand encircled her. ‘I am a fool, Tara. Why can’t I stop loving you?’ Baali said. Later, after they had cried their heart out, after recounting their respective ordeals, Tara broached the subject of forgiving Sugreeva. That was a mistake. Baali’s face darkened.

  ‘No, I may forgive you, Tara, for he had fooled you. But he trapped me. That boulder didn’t come there by itself. Someone must have pushed it to fit the cave mouth or nudged it down from the top. I was a fool to think that he was playing pranks when he did that drama of his—don’t you remember—the one he played immediately after our marriage. He has always lusted after you, Tara. Now I can recall every incident with clarity. I was a fool not to see. I cannot pardon him. He doesn’t deserve any mercy. I should have killed him . . .’

  Before Tara could say anything, Baali stormed out of the room. Tara ran behind him and saw Baali’s way was blocked by Ruma. Baali tried to sidestep her but Ruma threw out her hand, blocking his way.

  ‘Marry me.’ Ruma’s tone was defiant. Baali recoiled at the abrupt request.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Marry me,’ Ruma repeated.

  ‘You’re Sugreeva’s wife.’

  ‘Wife,’ Ruma scoffed. ‘I had never been his wife. For that . . .’ she looked at Tara and her lips curled in a derisive smile.

  Baali tried to go, but she grabbed him. ‘You’ve defeated Sugreeva. As per our law, now I belong to you, just as your wife belonged to him when he had defeated you.’

  ‘But . . . Ruma, you’re my brother’s wife, you’re like a daughter to me–’

  ‘Daughter?’ Ruma’s voice was shrill, ‘Do I look like your daughter to you? Our tribe’s rules are different. I belong to the strongest. You’re a strong man. You defeated my husband and he ran away. Now I belong to you. Marry me!’

  ‘Move away.’

  ‘Marry me, marry me, marry me!’

  Baali shoved her out of his way and hurried out. Ruma screamed at the top of her voice, ‘Your brother hasn’t touched me. He never wanted me. He lusted over your wife. I was a discarded rag. Unused yet dirty. Please . . . please don’t go away. I have no one, I have no one. No one wants me. Am I so ugly? Am I so undesirable?’ She broke down and sat on the floor. Her heart-wrenching sobs made Tara wince. She approached her gingerly.

  ‘Ruma . . .’

  Ruma stopped crying. She glared at her and then smiled. She wiped her tears with the back of her palm. Tara watched her go to Angada’s cradle. Ruma picked up Angada, ‘You’re the only one for me. Would you also ask me to move out of your way one day, darling? Maybe you will, for you will grow up to be a man. Let you not grow up. Let you always be my son, my precious, my darling.’

  Tara watched Ruma helplessly. She didn’t know how she could help her. Ruma took the baby and went out of the room without even looking at Tara.

  An uneasy equilibrium set inside the palace. She heard from Nala that Hanuman had hidden Sugreeva somewhere and they were waiting for Baali’s wrath to cool down. In public, Ruma acted as if Baali had married her. Inside the palace, Baali ignored her despite her desperate attempts. It was pitiful to watch her demean herself. Her desperation made Tara almost wish she succeeded in getting her husband. After a few months, Ruma gave up trying, but she kept the act of being Baali’s favourite wife in public. She spent so much time taking care of Angada that Tara started resenting it. Angada started calling both of them mother, but it was evident he preferred Ruma to Tara.

  Sugreeva came to palace after three months with the hope that Baali’s rage would have been spent by then. He walked into the Sabha when Baali was in discussion with the council and bowed low before his brother. Baali stared at him in disbelief.

  Chapter 35

  ‘Stop there!’ Baali roared. The wolf that was lying near the throne sprang up and growled. Sugreeva prostrated on the floor and begged for forgiveness before Baali. Men in the Sabha stood with bated breath. Tara saw Baali struggling with conflicting emotions of hatred and love. Unfortunately, hate won. He kicked Sugreeva on his face, toppling him over. He screamed abuses. Sugreeva pleaded innocence and said he would take any punishment.

  Tara felt sorry for Sugreeva. His devotion to his brother was touching. No man would debase himself like this in the Sabha where he had been the King a few months before. Tara touched Baali’s shoulders and he glared at her. She should have taken the hint, but she pressed on, ‘Can’t you forgive your brother?’

  Tara recoiled as Baali’s face contorted with unspeakable rage. He took his club and started beating Sugreeva with it. Tara caught Baali’s hand and pleaded, ‘Please, please, he is your brother.’

  Baali glowered at her and in disgust, threw the club down. It bounced near Sugreeva’s head and arced to rest near Tara’s feet. She watched Baali storming away from the Sabha with tearful eyes. She tried to pick up Sugreeva, but he refused her help. He stood up slowly and turned to Baali.

  ‘Baali!’ he screamed, stopping his brother at the threshold. The members of Sabha sucked a collective breath. No one had heard Sugreeva calling Baali anything but ‘Anna’. Baali turned back and stood with his legs spread wide and his muscled arms in his hips. Sugreeva, bleeding from his face, lips swollen and split, nose broken, and eyes blackened, staggered a few feet towards Baali. He pointed a trembling finger at his brother and said, ‘You’ve lost all sense. I have demeaned myself like a dog in front of you. Every time I came, you kicked me, you beat me to pulp, yet I didn’t raise my hand in protest. I was hoping that, as the brother who I loved and admired, you would understand me and forgive me for something I hadn’t done.’

  ‘If you don’t shut your mouth, I will tear you into two!’ Baali roared.

  Sugreeva staggered forward, ‘You’re a brute, a beast. You can kill me now because I allowed you to kick me and beat me. Take pleasure in killing a fallen man. You coward! If you’re a man–’

  Baali bellowed and rushed towards his brother. Sugreeva stood unflinching, ‘If you’re a man, I challenge you to a duel.’

  Baali stopped a few feet short of Sugreeva.

  Sugreeva turned towards the members of Sabha, ‘Hear me all, I’m going to k
ill this brute. I’m going to win this throne and everything that belongs to this man. You fix the dates, you fix the venue and I shall be ready for the duel.’

  He walked past Baali with his head held high. Baali left the Sabha in great anger. Tara followed him. She stood by the bed as he sat on it, his rage still bubbling in his face.

  ‘He is your brother. You should have–’

  Baali grabbed Tara’s chin and pushed her back. Her head banged on the wall. He leaned on her, his face a few inches from her face. She stared at her husband in fear. He said in a chilling voice, ‘You b***. You would have wanted me dead so that you can sleep with him. You want me to die, you want me to die, you b***, tell me, tell me!’

  ‘Kill me; kill everyone,’ she managed to say.

  Baali glared at her and slowly his grip loosened. She started crying. He collapsed on the bed and sat with his head bent down. She stood up to walk out.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Tara heard him say. She continued walking.

  ‘Tara,’ he called. It was not the voice of a defiant and arrogant man. It was that of a man with a tortured soul, a man broken from within. She turned back and rushed to his arms. She hugged him tight.

  ‘I loved him, Tara, more than you, more than myself. He shouldn’t have done this to me, Tara.’

  She didn’t say anything. Tara knew that anything she said would only add fuel to the fire.

  ‘He lusts over you, Tara.’

  Tara stiffened.

  ‘I’m sure of it. He is a charmer. He has a way with women. I know him better than anyone else. And I can’t afford to lose you Tara. Not even for my brother. I would give away the kingdom, but not you . . .’

  ‘I–’

  ‘No, don’t say a word. I don’t want you to lie. I know in some corner of your heart, you love him too. I can see it in the way you look at him. No, don’t deny it. I can see it in the way he looks at you too. Not that you don’t love me. I know you’re fighting your urge, but we don’t have control over certain emotions. I can’t control my rage, Tara just like you can’t–’ Baali smiled bitterly.

  ‘Please don’t talk like this–’

  ‘I’m not afraid of the truth, Tara. I can understand why my brother betrayed me. He would have trapped me for you. Except his love for you, nothing would have made him do anything that would have harmed me. Maybe as you say, I was trapped due to a natural disaster, but the Sugreeva I know, the brother I had brought up, he would have moved heaven and earth to save me. He would have moved the mountain. Instead he walked away, leaving me to die, hoping that I died. He did it for you, Tara. I can understand his guilt too. It would have broken his heart. I can feel his pain. Yet, I’m sure he would do that again to me, for you. He is insanely in love with you Tara, just as I am. This will only end with the death of one of us.’

  Tara said within her sobs, ‘No, it’s wrong to say so. I have loved only you.’

  Baali scoffed but kept running his fingers through her hair.

  ‘Kill him in the duel,’ she said.

  Baali stiffened. He slowly extracted himself from her hug and stared into her eyes. ‘Tara, do you think I can do that? I can’t kill him even for you. Maybe I don’t love you as much as he does.’

  Tara held her husband tight and wept on his shoulders. Baali continued to run his fingers through her hair.

  The duel was a farce. Sugreeva was no match for Baali who roared like a lion after smashing his opponent to the ground. Sugreeva pleaded, this time not for forgiveness but for giving him a warrior’s death. Baali walked away without even bothering to reply.

  Sugreeva yelled at Baali, ‘You will pay for this insult, Baali. I don’t mind dying at your hands, but don’t leave me like this. Kill me, kill me and allow me to die like a warrior.’

  Hanuman stopped Baali and said that as a warrior, Baali should honour Sugreeva by killing him. It was the rule of the duel. Baali ignored him and walked back to his palace. Thousands hailed Baali and many mocked Sugreeva, leaving him fuming. Tara knew Baali had done a grave mistake, but she also knew he had no choice. He was incapable of killing Sugreeva.

  What she had dreaded happened that day. Hanuman, her friend and Guru, spoke up, ‘Baali, your fall is near. You are arrogant and vain. Your hatred for Sugreeva astounds me. No man should carry so much hatred. I warn you, if you don’t mend your ways, God will punish you.’

  Baali scoffed, ‘God? Which God? The God that let Vanaras be enslaved for many generations? The God that had made this stupid world? I believe in no God. I believe in the strength of my arms, Hanuman. Ask your friend, the devil called Sugreeva, to defeat me in a duel. Ask him not to depend on non-existent gods.’

  She had never seen Hanuman so angry. Hanuman stormed out of Kishkinda, carrying the injured Sugreeva with him. The loss of friendship hit Tara hard. But she couldn’t even utter the name of Hanuman at her home in fear of Baali’s wrath. And she was dealt with another blow. Baali ordered Nala not to step into Kishkinda for Baali’s spies had seen Nala speaking to Hanuman. Tara didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to her dear friend.

  Chapter 36

  Tara did not see Sugreeva or Hanuman for a long time. Nala, however risked death to meet her secretly. She heard from him that Sugreeva and a few of his supporters had taken refuge in the Rishyamukha Mountains where Rishi Matanga’s ashram was situated. They were banking on Baali’s promise that he would never disturb Matanga ashram. It came as a hope for her that they still believed her husband was a man of honour who wouldn’t break his promise. She had no one to speak to, to share her burdens with. She missed Nala and Hanuman. She often spent time at Riksarajas’s grave, pouring out her woes to the affectionate eunuch who had died saving her.

  Tara could see the mountains to the east, half clad in mist from her balcony. Many a time, she would sit there and wonder about Sugreeva. Sometimes, she felt pity for him. Unsolicited, thoughts came about how different life would have been with Sugreeva. She would feel guilty for harbouring such thoughts. Baali was a caring husband and except for the irritant of Ruma who kept claiming that she shared Baali with her, life went on in its usual path. Angada grew up, more under Ruma’s care than Tara’s. Baali was as good a father as he was a husband. He taught his son the use of swords and clubs. Often, father and son wrestled in the courtyard and whenever she saw it, she could not help thinking that the same courtyard would have witnessed Baali affectionately teaching Sugreeva the art of wrestling. She knew Baali was also assaulted by such uncomfortable memories and the sweet pain of nostalgia, for he too appeared lost in thought. Tara avoided saying anything about Sugreeva and struggled to keep an indifferent face whenever the conversation in the Sabha veered towards Sugreeva.

  Meanwhile, her father had grown old and his deteriorating health worried her. Two of her father’s friends had died and the thoughts of her father’s health always gnawed at her. She wanted him to come and stay with her, but the old man refused to leave his humble hut and familiar surroundings. When she tried to persuade him to shift to Kishkinda, he asked her who would take care of his poor patients. Would they come to Kishkinda, to the palace with their ailments? Won’t they be intimidated? He wanted to serve his impoverished villagers till his last breath. He would continue in his humble hut and leaky roof, waiting for his patients who walked or were carried through the thick jungle with the hope that the Vaidya would save their lives, heal their illness. He couldn’t be selfish and retire in the comfort of a palace, much as he wished to spend time with his grandchild. The sight of familiar faces from her village in the streets of Kishkinda filled her with dread for she thought they carried the inauspicious news of her father’s death.

  As years passed, Tara had another worry that occupied her thoughts more. She often fought with Angada for the boy had a streak of rebelliousness and she blamed Ruma for spoiling her son. Her son was a sprightly young lad of fourteen by now, yet he clung to Ruma and barely talked to Tara.

  Meanwhile, travelling singers brought tales of Rama, the elder
prince of some distant Kingdom of the North, called Ayodhya, who had abdicated his throne to respect his father’s wish and how his wife Sita and his brother Lakshmana had followed him to the jungle. Sutas and Magadhas sung about the virtues of the prince who many claimed was the incarnation of the blue God Vishnu. Many evenings were spent hearing the stories of Rama and his greatness. Life went on in Kishkinda like it had from time immemorial. No one cared about what happened outside. The attack from the Rakshasa tribe had ceased after Baali killed Mayavi. Ravana, the king of Lanka, who Baali had defeated in a duel long ago and who had become a close friend of Baali, provided protection from the south.

  However, when the news about Soorpanakha’s humiliation came, Tara started getting worried. Soorpanakha, Ravana’s younger sister had found Rama and Lakshmana in the forest and was smitten by Rama. Asura women were free to choose their mate, so she had asked Rama to marry her. Rama might have been shocked by this unusual request as in Deva land such forwardness was considered indecent on the part of a woman. He pointed to Lakshmana, who neither had the patience nor the sense of humour of his brother. He insulted Soorpanakha and sent her back to Rama who promptly asked her to seek his brother’s hand. Sita laughed at the predicament of this silly woman and her promiscuousness. An enraged Soorpanakha tried to fight with Sita. She might have thought like any other woman in her land, Sita would fight with her to keep her mate. She might have been shocked when Lakshmana caught her hand and chopped off her nose and breasts. Her teenaged son Shambhiri, who came to seek justice for his mother, was brutally killed by Lakshmana and so were her cousins, Khara and Dushana.

  After losing her breasts and nose and her sons and cousins, she had gone wailing to her brother, the Lord of Lanka. When Tara heard about the incident, she was terrified of the man who could mete out such cruelty upon a woman. She hoped they would avoid Kishkinda in their wanderings. Like Rakshasas, Vanara women were also free to choose their mate and if it were such a big crime from where this prince came and if he went on chopping breasts and nose, Tara could not fathom how Baali would react. After that, for many days there was no news. Then she heard that the King of Lanka had kidnapped Rama’s wife Sita to avenge the humiliation of his sister. She also heard rumours that Rama’s wife Sita was Ravana’s long lost daughter. Tara could not understand why mutilating a woman or kidnapping another became the mark of manliness. That was not how her Baali would have dealt with it. He didn’t chop off the breast of Ruma when she asked him to marry her. But Baali was a monkey man, an uncivilized Malecha. Maybe in the civilized world they dealt with such delicate things in a different way.