“Nice to meet you,” they said in unison.
“Gavin,” said Heidi, “we just passed Bruce’s bisexual lover on the street.”
“Yeah, he was walking with his ex-girlfriend!” Kerstin blurted out breathlessly.
“Should we go tell Bruce?” Heidi asked, showing a wide grin of metal braces.
Gavin had told me all about his flamboyant twenty-two-year-old cousin, Bruce, who was gay as a mockingbird and proud of it.
“Jeez, is there nothing better to talk about than Bruce’s love life?” Troy moaned, as he walked away with a look of constipation on his face.
“No, don’t say anything to him,” Gavin said. “Bruce is well aware of what’s going on.”
The girls folded their arms. A look of defiance crossed their faces as they shifted their weight to one side. “But he’d want to know about the girl,” Kerstin said stubbornly.
“He’s a big boy who can take care of himself. He wouldn’t appreciate anyone meddling in his business,” Gavin insisted, in a fatherly tone.
As the girls rolled their eyes and stalked off, Gavin and I moved across the lawn through clusters of people. We stopped and shook hands and received hugs as Gavin introduced me to family and friends. An aunt and uncle dressed identically in brightly colored Hawaiian shirts with pink flamingos, stopped to laugh after finishing each other’s sentences.
Gavin leaned over and whispered in my ear. “I hope when it’s time to leave this world, God takes them together. I don’t think they’d survive without one another.”
“I know what you mean,” I said as we walked on.
There’d been times that I’d wondered how I’d survive emotionally if something went wrong with our relationship. Especially since it would have been like losing Matt all over again. I’d given Laura a talk about vulnerability, and there I was, worried about feeling vulnerable.
Gleeful giggles from a group of little girls resonated, as their arms flailed wildly, splashing in the shallow end of the kidney-shaped swimming pool. Three industrial sized barbecue grills sat on a flagstone patio to the right of the pool. Tubes of smoke curled skyward, while wafting aromas of sizzling brats, burgers, and hotdogs circled the air. Lined up on the redwood deck that wrapped around the back of the house, were folding buffet tables, each covered in red and white gingham check tablecloths. The skirting flapped in the breeze like sheets on a clothesline.
It hadn’t surprised me when I saw Vanessa’s willowy frame leaning in the patio doorway, as she slathered lotion on her arms. Gavin had mentioned his relatives saw her as part of the family. As she slipped out onto the patio, the brilliant afternoon sun caught the fiery auburn shades of her flowing hair. Backlit from the sun, her long legs were visible through her transparent sarong-like skirt. Her floral bikini top, made of two landing strips of spandex, barely covered her plus size breasts, and a tiny silver loop shimmered in her belly button. She looked like a Barbie sleaze doll.
I smoothed my hand over one side of my head, my hair pulled back into a bun to help conceal the frizz. As I glanced down at my dusty blue, cotton eyelet sundress, I thought, oh great, next to Miss Sleaze I had the librarian look. As Gavin and I walked up the patio steps hand in hand, she gazed past me as if I were invisible and focused her attention on Gavin. Smiling flirtatiously, she sauntered toward him.
“Well, there you are,” she said, as she giggled and tipped her oval-shaped face up at him. She gazed at him through sultry emerald eyes accented with long black lashes. Her golden skin glistened and had a light scent of coconut oil. I wanted to suggest that she sign up for a twelve-step sex addiction program to help her with her noticeable panting problem, or perhaps canine obedience class. Down girl, down!
“Vanessa, you remember Aubrey?” Gavin said.
Without moving a muscle, she scanned my face and figure, as if she was looking for some identifying mark to help her remember. “Yes, of course.” She flipped her hair off her shoulders and curled her upper lip, while studying my hair.
“Hmm,” she said, waving a sparkling pink fingernail at me. “You should stop by the salon. I work at Giorgio’s and could set you up with some products to help calm those frizzes.”
“Well, I--”
“Here,” she said, as she offered me a tube of suntan lotion. “The sun’s pretty strong today. Maybe you’d better put some on your face so your skin doesn’t get damaged anymore than it already looks.”
The dog show wasn’t in town that day, but it seemed the bitches were. “No thank you,” I said, in the sweetest voice I could muster.
“Hey,” Gavin said, “we’re headed for the buffet table to get something to eat. Wanna come?”
“You’re kidding.” She sneered at the buffet table filled with a multitude of meats, macaroni dishes, and crocks of baked beans, salads, dips, chips and enough cakes and pies to start a bakery. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as if there were a pack of rats digging into the food.
“I didn’t get this body by accident,” she said, striking a sex kitten pose.
As I wondered how she could make her chest stick out far enough to function as a platter, I heard Nicholas hollering for me. I turned to see him run up the patio steps with his clothes so soaked he was dripping.
“Mom, I want to get my swimsuit on and go into the pool.”
“Well, aren’t you cute,” Vanessa said, in an obnoxious cooing tone. She practically pushed me aside to swoop down in front of Nicholas, bending eye-level. “You must be Nicholas,” she said, and delicately touched her finger to the tip of his nose. “I’m Vanessa.”
Nicholas managed a weak “hi” as he blushed. Even my own kid looked awestruck by her beauty. “You’re pretty,” he blurted out, gazing at her.
“Oh, how sweet,” she said, her voice almost purring.
Traitor! Quit complimenting the enemy.
“Nicholas let’s get you changed,” I said.
“There’s a bathroom inside to the right of the doors,” Gavin said, pointing to the patio slider.
While I waited for Nicholas to change into his swimsuit, I thought about the blissful night spent with Gavin. Since Nicholas stayed over at Jimmy’s, I woke up to Gavin asleep beside me that morning. I had taken a long, lusty look at him. His hair disheveled and his body warm, as if he had just tumbled out of the dryer and into my bed, while a slight whistling came from his nose, a bit of drool on his lip.
In some ways, Gavin and I were very compatible and in others, we weren’t. Like me having an adverse reaction to the ESPN channel, or that I was a neat freak and he could live in a house that was like a construction zone. Then there was the problem of sleeping arrangements. I couldn’t have Gavin wake up at my house in the morning with Nicholas there. I hadn’t figured out a better way to handle that other than having Gavin go home late each night.
However, my biggest concern was that neither of us had said the L-word. For me it was simple. My unwritten rule was that a woman should never make the first move in that area. It would seem too desperate. Besides, I was afraid I would scare him away, but I was curious to know what Gavin’s reason was. I was sure he loved me.
“I’m done,” Nicholas said, as he handed me his pile of wet clothing and took off running.
“Nicholas, the wading pool only,” I shouted as he darted out the door. I stuffed the wet clothing into my bright colored beach bag, slid the strap over my shoulder, and walked outside. Following along the deck that wrapped around to the side of the house, I saw Vanessa leaning close to Gavin, their arms practically touching. They stood off to the side by themselves and looked as if they were having a serious conversation. It annoyed me having a half-naked woman leaning her body up against my boyfriend, and I didn’t like Gavin letting her do it. Fuming, I sidled up behind them.
“Well, I think it’s time you told her,” I heard Vanessa say.
I stopped and didn’t move any closer.
Tell whom what? Are they talking about me?
“I’m going to,” Gavin squawked. “I
just have to wait for the right time. I just can’t spring something like that on her.”
Instantly, jealousy sprung up like a beast in the wild animal kingdom of insecurities, attacking my mind without warning. Spring what on me? That he’d been sleeping with her while he’d been sleeping with me? That he’d finally come to his senses and realized he was still in love with her? Is that why he hadn’t said the L word to me?
Ashamed at having sprouted feelings of paranoia, mistrust, and suspicion, I came to my senses and discreetly backed far away from them. Gavin could have been referring to any number of people like an aunt, a cousin, or a friend. Irritated by my jealousy, I immediately put myself in check and smiled. “I’m back,” I called out cheerfully.
They both turned to look at me. Even from across the deck, I could feel Gavin’s love for me. As I basked in his admiration, I felt surely, nothing could ever break us apart.
Twenty-eight
In the attempt to vanish David from her life, Laura had trashed every skimpy nightie and lingerie item associated with him. This landed us at the mall on a Sunday afternoon so she could restock. While she shopped inside a lingerie store with a fancy French name, I sat in a small sitting area at the front of the store. The brocade covered Louis XV replica sofa, end tables, toile vases, and luminously buffed maple hardwood floors, made it seem as if I were sitting in someone’s posh living room.
As I savored the last morsel of Godiva chocolate and sipped a complementary glass of champagne, I vowed to have a talk with Gavin about the whole spirit world dilemma. The thought of keeping secrets from him was grinding at me. Complicated was an understatement. How in the world would I explain that part of him could very well be Matt? Would he believe my theory that something extraordinary had happened to him while in the hospital years ago? Or would he think I was a loon?
The fact that he was a believer in the Laws of Physics that state that souls can’t be destroyed, but that they can be transformed from one state to another seemed to be a good segue into opening up the discussion of how Matt’s spirit could have leapt into his body. Even to me, the thought sounded ludicrous. However, Gavin did say that, if the Law of Physics is correct, our souls are eternal, and therefore, they still exist after death. I made up my mind I’d tell Gavin that evening.
Twisting the band on my watch to see the face, it crossed my mind that if Laura lingered in the expensive lingerie shop much longer, she’d have to work on a plan to subsidize her living expenses. The shop had the atmosphere of an art gallery where saleswomen didn’t speak above a whisper. Delicate camisoles, garter belts, and bras hung artfully on walls, lit like museum quality paintings. Nothing had price tags so I pulled a clerk to the side and inquired about the price on a lemony camisole that caught my eye. By the expression on the woman’s face, you would have thought I had asked her to go outside and lick a wad of gum off the sidewalk.
“Psst! Aubrey.”
“Finally,” I said, as Laura emerged from around the corner carrying two black tote bags, with Peu de fleur in silver lettering scripted across the front.
“Get me out of here quick, before I’m forced to ask my father to give me a loan against my trust fund,” she whispered.
As soon as we passed through the doors of the little French shop and into the mall, it was as if we’d entered a bakery. “The aroma of cinnamon buns is simply irresistible,” I said, as I attempted to make a beeline for the food court.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” asked Laura. She raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were on a diet.”
“I know, but just imagine savoring the plump sweet dough of cinnamon buns filled with a gooey mixture of cinnamon sugar and pecans, butter cream frosting melting on their golden tops. Yum.”
“Aubrey,” she said with a frozen expression on her face.
“Stop looking so serious,” I said. “I had a moment of weakness. It’s over. Come on, let’s go.”
I stomped off in a huff, when I noticed Laura wasn’t walking beside me. Stopping to turn around, I saw her peering into the display window of the jewelry store. I marched back to where she stood. “You have some nerve talking to me about cinnamon buns,” I said while planting a hand firmly on my hip. “You clearly told me you had an addiction to spending way too much money on jewelry, and here you are, checking out your next expenditure.”
“What?” She turned toward me with a quizzical stare, her eyes unblinking.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“Um, well…”
She said nothing more and hesitantly turned to look back into the jewelry store.
I followed her gaze and peered through the display window filled with an assortment of diamond rings, ruby necklaces, and cascading pearls, when all at once the earth seemed to shift off its axis and tumble over.
“I cannot believe this!” Laura said fiercely. “Is there something in the water? Have men around the world gone insane? And doesn’t that bitch know wearing white after Labor Day is gauche?”
Vanessa stood at the counter. Her tight hip-hugging white slacks accentuated her heart-shaped ass, while a sleeveless pink knit top rode above her midriff to show off a tiny waist. Pink manicured toes peeked out from strappy, four-inch sandals as she laughed excitedly, while holding a diamond engagement ring up to the light to watch it sparkle. Gavin stood beside her.
My heart slammed into my chest, my breath caught in my throat. I had three options. Storm into the jewelry store and demand to know what was going on. Call Mother Paula for guidance on what to do next. Run out of the mall and not let Gavin see me.
In that split second, I was too afraid to know the truth. Too afraid to hear him tell me that he’d enjoyed being with me, but that I was just a frigging distraction, a test to see if he was truly in love with Vanessa. Therefore, I chose option three, and fled.
Running like a deer in the forest who’d just heard the rustle of fall leaves, I bolted down the mall corridors while dodging shoppers, kiosk displays, strollers, and groups of teenagers. People pulled to both sides of the escalator as I bounded down the moving steps with Laura chasing after me while calling my name. My lungs burned as I raced straight ahead toward the wall of doors that led outside to the parking lot. Like a combat jet at full throttle, my body practically slammed into the cold bar that opened the door as I ran out into the muggy outside air. My eyes stung with tears, while the sky overhead was like a dark gray slate of gloomy clay.
“Aubrey, stop!” Laura pulled me back as I stepped off the curb, and narrowly missed running into the path of a passing car.
“Just settle down,” she said earnestly. “Maybe we jumped the gun on this, because I have to believe there is some perfectly sane explanation for what we saw.”
A loud clap of thunder boomed and the skies rumbled. I couldn’t breathe in the moist, musky air. “No,” I said numbly, as I shook my head. “What we saw was Vanessa picking out an engagement ring. There’s no other explanation. Mother Paula was right.” My body wrenched as I sobbed. I felt sick to my stomach.
“You can’t let it end like this. You have to go back in and talk to him.”
“No. Gavin’s obviously changed his mind about me. He lied about working overtime at the office today, and I knew there was a reason he never said those all important three words of I love you.”
A light drizzle began, as strobe light flashes cut across the darkened sky as we walked through the parking lot, when a second crash of thunder rumbled around us. Feeling faint, I needed a place to sit. I considered the asphalt, but made it over to the boulevard in the middle of the parking lot and sat down on the curb. Laura sat down next to me and looped her arm around my shoulder.
“Are you feeling okay? Dizzy maybe?”
“I don’t know. I just need a minute.”
Chilled by the drizzling rain and sudden cool breeze, my body shivered. As I lowered my head to keep from passing out, tears spilled from my eyes and disappeared into the black asphalt.
“Ga
vin wasn’t all that great anyway,” Laura proclaimed, loyally.
“Yes he was,” I said. “He loved to go shopping with me, and he was sensual and caring, and listened and took note of everything I’d say. Dammit! He was like the holy grail of metrosexuals and somehow I managed to lose him.”
Laura pulled a mountainous pile of clean tissues from her purse. “Here, I don’t need these anymore. I overestimated the amount of tears I’d shed for David.”
“I don’t need them either,” I said, as I let my tears mix with the drizzle. A yellow glow from the arced overhead parking lamps cast a glistening sheen over the black asphalt. “Years ago, my dream was to find a man that was multidimensional,” I said while gazing drearily at the long row of glistening car bumpers. “Someone who shared my views of the world, someone handsome and intelligent, someone who had a high sperm count and loved children and I found Matt. All I want now is someone with a good heart and a generous spirit, someone who knows how to turn on the washing machine and likes to cook. I thought I’d found that man in Gavin. But considering the fact that all my relationships have the shelf life of produce I should have known better.”
“Stop beating up on yourself. The important thing is that you’re a strong, independent woman and we’re going to get through this...together.”
“I thought my bond with Gavin was strong. I thought he was in love with me. Sure, he never said the words, but I thought I’d read it in his actions and heard it in all the wonderful things he’d say to me. How could I have been so wrong?”
Laura pushed a wet tendril of hair off her face and tucked the two tote bags under her loose bohemian blouse to keep them dry from the drizzle. “Okay, I don’t want you to get your hopes up, but maybe you’re not wrong,” Laura waffled. “Like I said before, there might be some reasonable explanation for why they were looking at, um...engagement rings.”
“You’d have a better chance convincing me a rabbi should be the next pope,” I said sarcastically.
ONCE UPON ANOTHER TIME Page 27