by Claire Adams
I shook my head and squeezed my hands into fists. It was probably better that I didn't see Kylie just now, anyway. I didn't know if I could control myself if we were to come face-to-face.
I sighed and filed the fax from Mark, my good mood from earlier already gone. Instead, all I could think about was Kylie and Mandy's accusatory words about our relationship.
Chapter Thirty
Kylie
Jasmine had never struck me as the kind of person who threw parties, so I'd been surprised when she invited me to her New Year's Eve party. But I had to admit, midway through the evening, that that girl knew how to host a party. The music was just the right volume, loud in some of the rooms but quiet enough to hold a conversation once you moved away from it, and the people were an eclectic and interesting mix. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, although that might have been the punch talking.
“This is the first time I've seen you smile all week,” Mandy said as she handed me a glass of champagne.
I moved to drink it, but she caught my wrist.
“Don't drink that yet. It's for midnight; we're all going to toast together.”
“Oh,” I said, staring down at the glass. “Okay.”
I didn't voice what I really wanted to do at midnight, which was kiss Josh right as the clock struck 12. That wasn't going to happen. It was already close to midnight and Josh was nowhere to be seen. I pouted, unable to help myself.
“Embrace that pain, sister,” Jasmine said, appearing out of nowhere and clinking her glass against mine. She winked at me. “Go ahead and drink that. I'll get you another. You look like you could use it.”
Mandy gave both of us disapproving looks, although the look was more directed at Jasmine. “I'm trying to cheer her up,” she said. “We're at a party. Parties are supposed to be fun.”
Jasmine shrugged and flitted away.
The crowd parted in front of me, and I was surprised to see Andrew materialize. For a moment, I thought I must be drunker than I actually was. But no, no matter how many times I blinked, Andrew was still there, standing in front of me. I frowned, wondering what he was doing here.
He had clearly been drinking, and I was pretty sure I hadn't seen him around earlier in the night. I sincerely doubted that Jasmine had invited him. But then again, how would he have known where to come if Jasmine or Mandy hadn't invited him.
“What are you doing here, Andrew?” I asked, trying to keep my tone even.
“I'm here to see the woman I love,” he said dramatically.
Mandy stepped in between the two of us, her hands on her hips and a frown on her face. “You're not going anywhere near Kylie,” she warned him. “I suggest that you leave before we call the cops on you.”
Andrew laughed. “You can't call the cops on me,” he said. “I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just here to party.”
People started gathering around us, heads turning to see what the commotion was about. I started to feel claustrophobic, hemmed in by all those people like that. With Andrew standing right there, staring heatedly at me.
Not for the first time that night, I wished that Josh were there with me. He'd be a solid presence at my side, an unflinching reminder for Andrew to stay away.
But Josh wasn't there, and Mandy, although she had a big heart, was no match for Andrew.
Jasmine pushed her way through the crowd and joined Mandy, though, also scowling at the man. “You weren't invited,” she said. “Please leave my house immediately.”
“You know I can't do that,” Andrew said, his voice sugary sweet. “Kylie, I know we had our problems, but I've been working so hard to change things and get my life turned around. I've been seeing a therapist, and it's really been helping. I haven't been drinking so much. I'm ready to start a family with you. We could move in together, and by this time next year, we could be married. God, I bet you'd look beautiful on our wedding day.” His eyes took on a faraway, glazed look.
“Not drinking so much, my ass,” Mandy muttered.
“Kylie, you and I could be the perfect couple,” Andrew continued. “The sex was amazing, after all. And we're both artists. On some deep level, I know that you understand me better than anyone else ever could. And I understand you in just the same way. Everything that comes out in your art, I know what it means. You make such beautiful art, too. Imagine what a couple we could be, opening gallery showings together, traveling the world, going to functions.”
“Andrew,” I said, trying to cut him off. But he kept talking over me.
“I know you're scared that I'm going to let you down again, but you know that's not going to happen. I know that deep down, you love me, and you know that I'm the perfect man for you. You're the most beautiful woman in the world, and the most charming, intelligent, thoughtful woman I’ve ever met. And I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you know how perfect you are. I'm going to give you everything you want in life, too. Everything that you want. I'm sure you think I can't promise that now, but trust me when I say that I can. I can give you everything. You don't need anyone else.”
“Andrew,” I said sharply. “That's enough.”
To my surprise, he shut his mouth and cocked his head to the side, listening to what I was about to say.
“Andrew, we're through,” I said. “I've already told you that. Multiple times. I'm sorry, but I don't love you. I can't possibly make that any clearer to you. I don't love you. And frankly, I don't understand why you're still trying to get me to come back to you. You proposed to me, and I said I wasn't interested in getting engaged to you. You should probably go find some girl who does want that from you.”
Andrew scowled at me. “You were just confused,” he said. “You got your pretty little head tied up in knots, thinking about what might have been. But I know that you'll see sense. You know that you and I are meant to be together.”
I laughed harshly. “I'm not confused,” I snapped. “I don't want you. Now stop bothering me.”
“And get out of my apartment,” Jasmine interjected coolly.
“Or you'll what?” Andrew snapped, taking a menacing step forward.
Jasmine held up her phone. “Or I'll call the police and tell them that you're trespassing on private property, which you are. And if that's not enough to keep you at bay, we'll also file for a restraining order so that you can't come anywhere near Kylie again. Now, go away and leave her alone. Do I make myself clear?”
Andrew stared at her for a long moment, his eyes narrowed and his chest puffed up like he had something to prove. I was scared that he was going to lose it and try to hit her or Mandy. I didn't care what he had said about drinking less. He clearly had been drinking heavily that evening, and he was never even remotely rational when he'd been drinking.
But when he finally moved, he pointed a finger over Mandy's shoulder at me. “You're going to regret leaving me, you bitch,” he snarled. “I swear to God, I'm going to make you pay.”
“No, you're not,” Jasmine said, folding her arms over her chest. “Because you're never going anywhere near her again, remember? Unless you want me to call the cops.”
Andrew spat at Jasmine and then turned and stalked out. I could tell there were at least a few guys who wanted to fight him, but Jasmine shook her head, and everyone just let him go.
When he was out of sight, I sagged down, not sure if what I was feeling was more relief, anxiety, or numbness. It seemed to somehow be equal parts of each.
“Come here,” Jasmine said, steering me over toward one of the guest bedrooms. She shut the door firmly behind the three of us and sat me down on the edge of one of the beds. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, even though I was still feeling shaky. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I'm okay,” I said. “A little shaken, but okay.”
“I can't believe he's still harassing you like that,” Mandy said disapprovingly. “I think it's time you went to the police.”
“He's harmless,” I said, shaking my head, even though I wasn't entir
ely sure. I bit my lower lip. “To be honest, I feel guilty about the whole thing. It's my fault that we're broken up.”
“If you didn't want to be with him, you shouldn't be with him,” Jasmine said. “Don't let him make you think otherwise. It's not your fault.”
“Did he really propose to you?” Mandy asked.
I blanched, looking up at her. I hadn't ever told anyone about that, until I had just stupidly blurted it out in front of everyone at the party. For the first time all night, I was glad that Josh wasn't there.
Or maybe he is, lurking somewhere in the crowd. What must he be thinking now?
I swallowed hard.
“Hey,” Mandy said, looking concerned as she sat down next to me. “It's okay. I mean, I'd like to think my best friend would tell me about these sorts of things, but I know the whole Andrew situation has been difficult for you.” She paused. “So that's the real reason the two of you broke up?”
I nodded miserably. “He took me out to this really fancy Italian restaurant, and he proposed to me. And I was sitting there looking at the ring, and I realized that I really didn't love him. I definitely didn't want to spend the rest of my life with him.”
“Because there's someone else that you'd rather spend the rest of your life with?” Mandy prodded.
“No,” I said quickly. Maybe too quickly. I couldn't help but think of Josh at that moment. We hadn't been dating, but he'd been the perfect gentleman during our road trip. He'd been so sweet to me, and the sex had been tender and satisfying as well.
“You're thinking of someone,” Mandy said, smirking at me. “And I bet I know who it is.”
“Who is it?” Jasmine asked, looking confused.
“No one,” I said firmly, giving Mandy a stern look. “There's no one else; I just didn't want to marry Andrew when it came down to it.”
We were all silent for a moment. Mandy wrapped an arm around me. “Do you think we can go back out there to the party?” she asked finally.
“You guys go ahead,” I said, trying to give them both reassuring smiles. “Thanks for protecting me.”
“You can't lurk in here all night,” Mandy said, frowning. “Or at least, if you're going to lurk in here all night, we'll stay in here with you.”
“You can't do that,” I protested. “It's New Year's Eve. You guys should be out there having fun. And Jasmine's the host; she should enjoy her own party. It's great, by the way.”
“Thanks,” Jasmine said, her eyes searching mine. “But seriously, if you want to stay in here for the rest of the night, I'll stay with you.”
“No, no, it's fine,” I said. “I’m fine. You guys go ahead. I'll be out in a minute. I just want to be alone for a moment. To process everything.”
“Okay,” Mandy said slowly, but much to my relief, she stood up, and after a second, Jasmine followed her lead.
“If we don't see you out there in 10 minutes, though, we're coming back,” she warned.
“Deal,” I said, smiling up at her.
She and Jasmine both walked out, closing the door behind them. I got up and locked it behind them. I didn't want Andrew barging in on me, on the off chance that he was still hanging around somewhere, waiting for his opening.
Then, I went back and flopped down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The thing was, what Mandy had suggested was exactly correct. I couldn't marry Andrew, in the end, because I had feelings for someone else.
Josh. I had feelings for Josh.
But somehow, I needed to get over those feelings and move on, because Josh clearly wasn't interested. He hadn't even bothered to come to Jasmine's party tonight.
Not for the first time, I wondered whether I hadn't made a big mistake. The only reason I could think of for his absence tonight was that he didn't think we could still be friends, given everything that had happened between us.
I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes, and I furiously blinked them away. But they continued to come, faster and faster, until I was helpless to stop them. It seemed that in asking Josh to become friends with benefits with me, I had ruined our friendship beyond repair.
Now, I wondered if I'd ever see him again.
Chapter Thirty-One
Josh
I accepted another drink from Alice, one of the businesswomen that I'd been dealing with over the past week. She slid into the booth next to me.
“I'm so glad you could come out with us, Mr. Green,” she said, smiling warmly at me.
“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Josh?” I asked. “We're not in the office anymore.”
She laughed and smiled. “Josh,” she agreed, clinking her glass against mine.
We both drank, and I looked around at my business associates there in Hong Kong, smiling at each of them in turn. It had been a good week. We had managed to secure another investment, and between this one and the Biogen Tech investment, I was starting the new year strong.
I didn't want to get sappy on them, but I figured they deserved some praise. I cleared my throat, and everyone turned to look at me.
“Thank you all for making my time in Hong Kong so fruitful,” I told them, grinning. “I've very much enjoyed working with each and every one of you over the course of the last week, and I hope that you feel the same way about me. I think we're going to find our partnership to be very beneficial for everyone involved.”
I continued to prattle on, thinking as I did so about the fact that I had come halfway around the world to conclude this business deal. That was a first for me. I'd traveled to do business in the past, but I'd never gone to a foreign country to invest in something. But this Chinese company had caught my eye, and I'd decided, out of deference to the foreign culture, that conducting this business in person was necessary.
Or maybe I'd just come here in an attempt to run away from Kylie.
Or my feelings for Kylie, rather.
When it really came down to it, this trip was about the business deal. But if it had just been about that, I could have invited Kylie to come with me. I could have paid for her ticket over here. We would have had a ton of fun in the hotel that I was staying at. She could have spent her days checking out local museums and galleries. I was sure that the trip would help her with her art.
But I knew that asking her to come with me to Hong Kong felt too much like asking for something more, and I knew that she would never go for something more.
“That was quite the speech,” Alice said as I sat back down.
I hadn't even realized that I'd stood up. I must be drunker than I'd realized. Not that that was a problem. We had finished up our business here in Hong Kong. I had another week to relax (to avoid Kylie, my subconscious corrected), and I was planning on sleeping in the following day before doing some of the sightseeing that I'd neglected in my first week there.
I shrugged at Alice. “Just want to make sure that everyone knows how much I appreciate their efforts this week,” I told her. “That's how you foster company loyalty.”
“Do you ever get your mind off business?” Alice asked, giggling a little.
I grimaced, remembering all the times that Kylie had told me that I was working too hard and that I should take some time off over the holidays.
“I bet I could help you forget about work for a little while. You know, if you were interested.” Alice put a hand on my arm.
I shrugged off her hand before I even registered what I was doing. But she didn't seem upset.
Instead, she just laughed. “Duly noted,” she said, although I wasn't sure what she thought she had noted.
“So,” Alice said. “What are you up to, now that business is concluded here in Hong Kong?”
“I have another week here,” I told her.
“Oh cool,” she said. “What are you planning to do with that week?”
“See the sights?” I said.
She laughed again. “You have no idea, do you?”
I sighed and shook my head. “I haven't done any research,” I admitted. “Is
there anything that you'd recommend?”
“You need to relax,” Alice said, kneading my shoulders a couple times. “You're always so tense.”
I frowned, wondering if she was actually flirting with me or if my senses were just on high alert since I was thinking of Kylie all the time. Not that Kylie would care if one of my office workers was flirting with me in a bar in Hong Kong. Kylie was across the ocean from me.
I sighed heavily, and Alice withdrew her hands.
“Are you okay?” she asked. When I struggled to answer, she shook her head. “You're putting too much pressure on your trip. Just enjoy yourself while you're here. You’re in Hong Kong, after all. Anything that you get to see while you're here, it's more than you would have seen if you had stayed at home. That's the way that I like to look at it.”
“Life is one big string of missed opportunities, isn't it?” I said, the words coming up from some drunken part of my brain. “This trip could have been something amazing, if I'd bothered to do my research. But I didn't. And it's the same with relationships. You meet so many people every day. There are so many missed opportunities for love.”
“I don't think this is a missed opportunity yet,” Alice said slowly, taking a sip of her drink as she eyed me.
I shook myself, suddenly realizing what I'd said to her. “Sorry, I don't mean to sound melancholy, I just have a lot on my mind,” I told her. I looked around. A bar in Hong Kong wasn't the place for philosophical conversations on love and the meaning of life.
But Alice didn't seem unhappy with the current line of conversation. Instead, she looked thoughtful. “The opportunity is only lost if you think it is, isn't it?” she mused. “If you were able to convince yourself that you got everything you wanted out of this trip, then you'd be happy. Or if you accepted the fact that the trip isn't over yet, you'd probably be happier, too.”
I frowned, for some reason thinking of her words in terms of my relationship with Kylie, which admittedly was also beginning to feel like a missed opportunity. Maybe it was just Mandy's words ringing in my head, but I couldn't believe I had had the chance to be close to Kylie like that, and I had just walked out on all of it.