by Nikki Ash
“Faith?”
Bentley looks at me sheepishly.
“Yeah, you’ve been out of it for a while. They had to keep you in a medically induced coma so your body could heal. I had to name her so I could bring her home. I named her Faith Lizbeth Cruz. If you don’t like it we can change it.”
Faith Lizbeth Cruz. “It’s beautiful, Bentley, and you named her after Liz. Thank you. How is she?” I try to sit up, but my stomach muscles throb and I wince from the pain.
“Here, let me help you.” The nurse who must have been in the corner where I couldn’t see, comes over and presses a button to raise my headrest.
“Thank you.” I look over at Bentley and see the beautiful little girl in his arms.
“Can I hold her?”
He smiles and nods. “Absolutely. She’s been waiting patiently to meet you.”
I take Faith in my arms while Bentley hovers over me. He must be nervous about whatever condition I’ve been in.
“Hey, sweet girl. I’m your mom.” She squirms a little in my arms and I’m immediately in love. She has my blue eyes and nose with Bentley’s mouth and skin tone. She’s the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe Bentley and I created this perfect little person together. She’s such a miracle.
I glance up at Bentley and see tears in his eyes. “Why was I in a coma?”
I hear a throat clear and look to Liz. She gives me a sad smile and I know something is off. She walks over and sits next to me, putting my right hand into hers since my left one is holding Faith.
“Your body went into shock and you almost died a few times. You gave us quite the scare. They had to bring you back. Because of the bleeding, they had to do a partial hysterectomy. We are just so thankful you’re alive. Bentley has been taking care of Faith and has been at the hospital almost every waking minute checking on you.”
I take a second to process everything she just said. I had to have a partial hysterectomy. That means I’ll never have another baby. I can feel the tears welling up behind my lids. I know I should feel thankful to be alive and for the fact that my baby is okay, but I also feel broken inside. A piece of me was removed and I won’t be able to fix it.
I glance over at Bentley and he’s assessing me closely. I go to look away and he grabs my chin. “Don’t even fucking think it. You aren’t broken.” Holy shit! It’s like he can read my mind.
“We have Faith and she’s perfect, and if you ever want another baby we’ll figure it out. We can find a surrogate or adopt. We’ll figure it out when the time comes. Don’t you even start to think of reasons to push me away.”
I look down at my baby girl and he’s right. She’s perfect, but Bentley and I aren’t together. One day he’ll meet someone who can love him and give him lots of babies, unlike me, who’s broken emotionally and now physically.
“There is no ‘we’.”
He just glares at me and lets it go.
I bring my nose to Faith’s forehead and breathe in her baby scent.
“She smells good. She doesn’t smell like a hospital.”
Everybody laughs and Bentley says, “Yeah, well, I gave her her first bath. I think she’s like her mother. She loves the water. Every time she’s fussy, I put her in the water and she calms right down.”
“Yeah, our sink has been transformed into a baby bathtub,” Caleb adds with a chuckle.
Kathleen comes over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. “I’m so glad you’re okay. Ryan and I have decided to stay here for a while. We’re renting a place close by so we can help out until you’re on your feet.”
“Thank you, but I’m living in Florida. I’m planning to hire a nanny for when I go back to work.”
Bentley growls and everybody looks like they’re nervous to say anything.
“Why don’t we give Bentley and Kayla some time alone to talk?” Cooper speaks up and everybody agrees as they hurry out the door. As they are walking out it, a doctor comes walking in.
“How’s my patient doing?” He takes a mini flashlight and points it into my eyes nearly blinding me.
“I’m okay, I think.”
“Good.” He checks my blood pressure, then pokes and prods my abdomen, while still allowing me to continue to hold my little girl. She really is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen, aside from Bella.
“Everything looks good. You might experience a headache for the next few days from the severe blood loss. That’s perfectly normal. Because of the surgery, there’s no lifting anything over five pounds for six weeks. If you are taking the pain medications, there’s no driving. You’ll follow up with your OB in six weeks as well. Also, no intercourse until your six-week checkup. You suffered severe hemorrhaging and I had no choice but to do a partial hysterectomy. I’m sorry. Not all women go into menopause, but if you do, you’ll have to be placed on hormone treatments. We can cross that bridge if it comes to that. Unfortunately you won’t be able to conceive in the future because I wasn’t able to save a fallopian tube, but your body will heal completely. Do you have any questions for me?”
“When can I go home?”
He chuckles softly. “You should be able to get out of here tomorrow sometime. I just want you to stay the night to make sure you continue to remain stable.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“Congratulations on your little girl.”
And with that, he shakes Bentley’s hand and walks out the door.
Faith begins to fuss and Bentley reaches over to take her from me. He grabs a bottle and shakes it up, and begins to expertly feed her.
“I know you wanted to breastfeed, but I had to feed her. The doctor said if you would like to start, you can try whenever you’re ready.”
He seems so hesitant, like he’s afraid I’m going to lose it on him, and I suddenly feel so bad for the way I’ve acted. I was going to have this baby and then let him know about her. Jeez, I’m such a bitch. It’s only been a few days, but it’s clear he’s going to be an amazing dad.
“No, it’s okay. It’s probably for the best she’s bottle-fed. I can see how much you love her and we’ll have to figure out a custody agreement. It won’t work if I’m breastfeeding her. You deserve to see her. You’re her dad.”
Bentley’s jaw clenches and he glares at me for a second before he speaks. “I know you plan to go back to Florida, but it’s not happening. First of all, you can’t go anywhere for six weeks. Second of all, you’ll be living with me. We are a family and I’m not letting Faith or you leave this state. If you want to go to Florida so damn bad, then I guess I’ll have to go with you. Did you notice the people in the room? Did you notice who wasn’t in the room? Your parents didn’t even bother to show up.”
“I wasn’t supposed to give birth yet.”
“What the fuck does that matter? They are your parents and they should have been here. I’m done sitting back and giving you your space. I love you and I love our daughter. Just give me a damn chance, please.”
I know he’s right, but it is so hard to open my heart. At least with my parents I know what I’m getting, and it doesn’t include my heart broken. I look at him holding our daughter in his arms like she belongs there. She’s eating and is so content with him. That’s exactly how I feel when I let Bentley in. Content. But I can’t let Bentley in like that because he’ll eventually break my heart, and when he does, I’ll be stuck in his life because of our daughter.
“Look, I’ll stay in Las Vegas for the next six weeks, but that’s all I can give you. We take care of Faith together as equals, but I can’t do a relationship.”
Bentley’s jaw goes tight and he looks like he’s about to explode. He closes his eyes for a few seconds and then opens them. “Okay, I’ll take what I can get, but just know that I’m not going to hold my feelings back, and once you see your heart is safe with me, we will be a real family.”
“I don’t want to argue with you. Are we staying in the apartment?”
“Yeah, we are. At least for no
w. I already have Faith’s room done and you can sleep in my room.”
“You are expecting me to sleep in the bed with you? You do know I can’t have sex for six weeks, right?”
He looks at me like I’ve just lost my mind and then says, “I don’t give a shit about having sex with you. I love you, Kayla. In the next six weeks you’re going to see what a real man does when a woman gives her heart over to him, and by the time the six weeks are up, you’ll be begging me to make love to you.”
I can’t help but laugh at his cockiness. “Whatever you say, Bent. Hand me over our daughter. I need to smell her some more.”
He laughs and hands her over to me so I can burp her. As I hold her close I glance from my precious little girl to Bentley and back again. Is it possible to really have it all? I guess only time will tell.
There’s a knock on the door and Bentley calls whoever it is in. Liz, Cooper, and the rest of the gang all pile back in. They say congratulations and give me hugs and kisses.
Liz comes over and whispers, “Bentley really handled it all while you were out. He could be named father of the year.”
I smile and glance at him talking to his parents. “He’s an amazing man.”
Liz’s eyes open wide. “Are you two together?”
“I’m staying at least for the next six weeks and we’re going to be living together to take care of Faith, but no, we aren’t together. Bentley deserves to be with someone capable of love. I’m not the person for him. Maybe once we’re living together and raising Faith together, he’ll realize it and move on.”
She gives me a big hug and kiss on my cheek. “I’m so glad you are staying and I know you two will work it out. You’re meant to be together. You’ll see. ”
Caleb walks over and gives me a peck on my cheek. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks. Are you ready for us to take over the apartment?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve missed you, Kayla. I’m glad you’re back.”
I look over at Hayley and see her watching Caleb closely. I know she has a crush on him, but he doesn’t really show any interest in her. She sees me eying her and gives me a small smile and wink. I smile back. Caleb would be lucky to snag a woman like Hayley.
Everybody stays for a while and chats while Faith is passed around and doted on. Eventually the nurse comes in and kicks everybody out saying I need rest. As much as I love the company, she’s right, I do need the rest. I’m exhausted.
Bentley tells me he’s going to go home for a little bit to give Faith a nap and will be back up later after I’ve rested. I give her a kiss and then close my eyes as I let sleep overtake me.
Sixteen
Bentley
It’s finally time to bring Kayla home from the hospital. Liz and my mom both offer to watch Faith for me, but there’s no way my little girl is leaving my side yet. I’ll consider it when she’s a little older… Maybe. Caleb and I had all of Kayla’s stuff overnighted to our place. Her parents weren’t too thrilled, but I didn’t really give them much choice when I told them Kayla can’t fly anywhere for at least six weeks. They said to let Kayla know they will be down in a few weeks to visit, and thanked me for dealing with the situation. I wanted to yell at them and tell them Kayla almost dying isn’t a fucking situation, but kept my mouth shut. They’re both a waste of my time and energy.
Kayla’s brother, Zach, on the other hand actually seemed genuinely concerned and said he’s almost finished with a couple of his summer classes and plans to visit as soon as he takes his finals. I know they aren’t close, but I have to wonder if it’s more because of their parents and less because of how they feel about each other.
I finish arranging all of Kayla’s stuff in my drawers and closet. The woman has a lot of damn clothes. I’ve just finished organizing her toiletries in our bathroom when I hear the muffled sound of Faith crying through the baby monitor. I grab a bottle from the kitchen on my way to get her. I’ve learned quickly that my daughter demands to be fed as soon as she wakes up, so I might as well have the bottle in hand.
“Hey there, pretty girl, you ready to go get your mom?”
She wiggles her little arms and legs and I’m pretty sure it’s more of the sight of her bottle dangling in my hand and less about picking up her mom, but we can pretend. I change her diaper quickly while she fusses, wanting to be fed, and then sit on the couch to feed her. She tries to suck it all down as fast as possible and cries when I stop her from eating to burp her. She finishes her bottle and I burp her one last time and then buckle her into her car seat.
“Hey there, Mr. Mom.” Caleb comes out of his room laughing.
“Ha ha, funny. I’m going to get Kayla from the hospital.”
“Nice. I’ll probably be at the gym when you get back, but I’ll see you guys later I’m sure.” He walks over to Faith and gives her a kiss on her forehead before heading out the door. The guy never shows any emotion, but since Kayla and now Faith are around, he’s slowly coming out of his shell.
We get to the hospital and Kayla is ready to go. The nurse insists she has to be taken by wheelchair to the car, and once we’re there, she opts to sit in the backseat with Faith. I smile as I glance in the rearview mirror at my two favorite girls in the world. They are my life.
“What are you cheesing about?” Kayla asks, when she catches me staring.
“I’m just happy. You both are healthy and okay and you’re back living under the same roof as me.”
She blushes and scrunches her nose up, making my heart open even more. Vulnerable Kayla doesn’t show very often, but when she does, it makes my heart melt.
We get home and get situated. I have Kayla lie on the couch and put Faith in her bassinet next to her so they’re close to each other. My phone goes off with texts from our friends and family, asking if we’re home and if they can come by. I don’t want her to feel too overwhelmed and, if I’m honest, I kind of just want my ladies to myself.
I get Kayla a glass of water and then sit on the other end of the couch, pulling her feet onto my lap. I begin to softly massage her feet as she stares at me with confusion. I ignore her and bring up something I’ve been thinking a lot about since Faith was born.
“So I’ve been thinking…”
“Oh boy, that’s never good,” Kayla says with a laugh. “Is that why you’re giving me a foot massage? To butter me up?”
I smile wide and shake my head. “I know you want to go back to work in six weeks. I’ve been thinking I could stay home with Faith.”
Her brows sink together in confusion. “Like a stay-at-home dad?”
“Yeah, like that. I love fighting and I plan to keep working out, but I don’t have a contract with the UFC. I’m sure moms who stay home still have hobbies and such, but I want to quit training fulltime and stay home with her. Fighting would just become a hobby.”
“But don’t you love fighting? And can you afford that? I mean, I make a decent living, and if I decided to stay here, Cooper has already told me I have a job waiting for me, but it’s not enough to live comfortably on.”
I know right now I should tell her that I’m an extremely wealthy man. I come from old money passed down from generation to generation. I have more money in the bank than I’ll ever spend in a lifetime, but for some reason I’m scared to tell Kayla. I don’t think she’s a gold-digger by any means. As a matter of fact, I think the opposite. I think me having money might scare her and make her run. She’s one of the most independent women I’ve ever met, and if she knew the amount of money I have, and the amount of money our daughter will one day have, I honestly think she would bolt. The truth is, the only people who know about my money are Kaden, Caleb, and Cooper, and they know I don’t like for it to be mentioned.
“I do love fighting, but these last few days with Faith… well, I love being home with her more. Plus, I’ve saved up. It will actually save money since we won’t have to pay a nanny. I just can’t imagine leaving her with anyone. I want to be the one
to be there for her first words, steps… I just love her so damn much. I don’t want to leave her with a stranger when I can be here with her.”
Kayla’s face falls and I think maybe I said something wrong.
“Does it make me a bad mom for wanting to go back to work?” She bites her bottom lip like she’s about to cry.
I get up and move to kneel in front of her. “Hey, there is nothing wrong with you going back to work. You love your career and you’ll be an amazing mom and still be able to work. We are fortunate that I’m able to stay home with our daughter. If you ever decide you don’t want to work and want to stay home please know you always have that option. We can always reassess the situation. ”
She laughs softly, but not in a that’s funny way, but more of a are you insane? “So we’ll both be without an income and stay home all day with Faith? You do realize babies need things like diapers and formula, which cost money?”
“Woman, when I tell you we are fine, I mean it. Work or don’t work. I don’t care. You want to move from here into a bigger house? Just pick the place. Whatever you want, I’ll handle it. Faith will never want for anything.”
“So are we splitting the bills down the middle or what? When I lived here before it was temporary because of the fire, so I didn’t pay anything. I don’t want to take advantage, especially since you won’t be working.”
“Kayla, you aren’t paying a dime here. Caleb and I have it all covered. For the next six weeks just focus on Faith and getting better, okay?”
When her body visibly relaxes, I realize just how uncomfortable this conversation was for her. “What did you think I was going to say?”
“Well, my parents split everything down the middle, even to this day. Even when we were little, they split the nanny payment because neither of them wanted to stay home, even though they could afford for one of them to. I thought maybe you would want to do the same, and I’m not sure how much this apartment is, but I know it’s not in my price range.”