by Nikki Ash
I can see he’s beating himself up over this and I know I need to forgive him and tell him about the baby. We need to figure this all out together, but I can’t find the words.
“Marco wants to talk to you. He asked for you to go say goodnight.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Caleb
I practically beg Hayley for forgiveness and she can barely look me in the eye. How can I expect Hayley to be on the same page as me when the last thing I said to her was not to touch me and then told her I was looking for apartments to move into? She’s hurt and justifiably so. I need to speak with her, but first I need to go talk to Marco.
“Hey buddy.” I walk into his room to sit on the edge of his bed. “Hayl—I mean, your mom said you wanted to talk to me.”
Marco’s face lights up at the word mom. He might have had another mom for the first twelve years of his life, but she wasn’t one percent of the mom Hayley is to him.
“Yeah… umm… before we got taken, we were talking and she said I could call her Mom… and I was wondering… I know you can’t adopt me, but well, I’ve never had a dad before. I was wondering if maybe you would be my dad. I know I’m older than a baby, but…”
“Marco, stop. I don’t care if you are two, twelve, or twenty-two. I would love to be your father. You are never too old to have a dad and I don’t care what the courts say. I love you, and since the moment you walked into that gym, I have thought of you as my son.”
Marco sits up and gives me a hug and I swear in that moment it feels like all is right in the world.
“Get some sleep, bud. I love you.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I walk back to the living room feeling like I’m floating in the clouds and see Hayley wiping her tears.
“You were totally listening, weren’t you?” I say jokingly.
She laughs. “Yes! I had to hear for myself. Is he not the sweetest kid, ever?”
“When he asked me to be his dad, I wanted to go out and buy him a car.”
Hayley cracks up laughing and shakes her head. God, I love to hear that woman laugh.
“I know we need to talk, but I’m fucking exhausted, Hayles. Would it be okay if we talk tomorrow? I just want to lie in bed and hold you, please.”
She nods, and after we both change into clothes to sleep in, we climb into her bed. She lies facing away from me and I pull her close so I’m spooning her from behind. I wrap my arms around her body and nuzzle my face into her hair, inhaling her scent. I’m pretty sure today was one of the best days of my life. Hayley and Marco are both safe, I’m lying in bed with the woman I love, and Marco wants me to be his dad. The only thing left to fix is Hayley and me.
I wake up to an empty bed and when I look at the clock I see it’s nine in the morning. Hayley must have snuck out without waking me up. I have some serious groveling to do. I walk through the house and see both she and Marco are gone. I grab my laptop and cell phone and begin working on a plan.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Hayley
After getting Marco off to school I go to the gym to check on my fighters. If it wasn’t for me working for Cooper I imagine I would have been fired a long time ago. I need to let him know about the pregnancy so he knows I’m planning to go part-time, and once the baby comes, I would like to stay home. I don’t know what things will be like for Caleb and me, but I have money put away and I’ll use it if I have to. Thinking about it, it’s probably best if I let Caleb know first.
I see a couple fighters and then receive a text from my sister asking if she can please take Marco this weekend for the entire weekend. He’s never been away from me for that long. so I let her know I’ll speak to him and get back to her. Marco and I go to court Friday to sign the papers. I plan to surprise him by having him play hooky and spend the day with him.
I consider texting Caleb so many times throughout the day, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to deal with him walking out. I know he’s sorry, but it doesn’t change the fact that he wanted to move out.
When the afternoon rolls around and it’s time to go get Marco I run into Ashley who’s visiting Kaden.
“Hey girly,” she says, giving me a hug. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. What are you up to tonight?”
“Nothing much. I’m off tonight.”
“Marco and I can come over and we can do dinner.” I’m totally avoiding Caleb, but I also want to spend time with Ashley. She’s seemed all over the place lately and nothing works better to ignore your own problems than to focus on someone else’s.
“Sounds good!”
I grab Marco from the bus stop and don’t stop at home. Within a few minutes, there’s a text from Caleb.
Caleb: Are you coming home?
Me: Having dinner with Ashley. Don’t wait up.
Caleb: If you’re staying away because of me, I can leave.
That is definitely what I’m doing, but I’m not about to tell him that.
Me: That’s not what I am doing…
Caleb: Okay
As Marco and I walk up to Ashley’s house, I bring up the subject of Hannah wanting to spend some time with him. “Hey Marco, Hannah asked if she can take you for the weekend. What do you think?”
“Are you okay with me going?” I love that he’s worried about me, but his job isn’t to worry. His job is to be a kid. My job is to worry about him and me.
“Hey, I’m fine, and I’ll be okay with you at Hannah’s. Your job is to have fun. Got it? No worrying.”
“Okay, then I would like to go. Aunt Hannah is cool.”
We knock on Ashley’s door and I text Hannah to let her know this weekend is a go. Ashley answers the door and lets us in.
The boys run to Tristan’s room to play video games and I follow her into the kitchen where she grabs a bottle of wine. I notice a few notices on her counter. Some say first notice, one says third notice, and one says final notice. I look away, not wanting to be nosy, but Ashley sees what I was looking at and, with an embarrassed look on her face, grabs the papers and shoves them into a drawer.
She brings the wine to the couch and I follow with two glasses, setting them down on the table so she can pour.
“Kaden brought this over the other night,” she says by way of explanation.
“Who’s judging?”
“I know you saw the notices, Hayley. I just don’t want you to think I’m behind on my bills, yet I’m buying bottles of wine.”
“Trust me, I’m the last person to judge anyone. But if you want to talk, I’m here.”
Ashley lets out a heavy sigh and shakes her head. “I just don’t even know where to begin. Talking about it won’t change anything.” She begins to cry and I cross over to the side of the couch she’s sitting on and just let her cry it out while holding her.
After a few minutes, she composes herself. “Jeez, I am a horrible host.”
“Hey now, I pretty much invited myself over.” We both laugh.
“The truth is I’m kind of hiding from Caleb. Before Marco and I were taken, we got into a fight. Well, not really a fight… I don’t even know what happened. Anyway, it ended with him saying he was moving out. At some point, we’re going to have to talk, but I’m just not ready yet.”
“Well, you’re welcome to hide out here as long as you need to.”
We decide to order pizza for dinner and after we all eat and the boys play some more video games for a couple hours, Marco and I finally takeoff so he can take a shower before bed since it’s a school night.
We get home and Caleb’s truck is in the driveway, but he isn’t in the living room. I notice his bedroom door is shut. Marco takes a shower, and after I say goodnight, I take a quick shower as well and go to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I feel Caleb’s hands on me. It feels like he’s spooning me and at one point it even feels like his hand is running across my stomach, but when I wake up and the bed
is empty, I chalk it up to a dream.
I get ready for work and head out just like yesterday, except today I invited Marco and myself over to Kayla’s place using the excuse he would love to see Chloe. After dinner and dessert we head home and once again Caleb is in his room. I say goodnight to Marco and go to sleep, having the same dream as the previous night.
* * *
It’s Friday morning and Caleb’s door is open and empty. He must have already left for the day. Marco is up early and excited for two reasons: I sign the adoption papers this morning and later tonight he’ll be going to Hannah’s for the weekend. She’s told me she’ll be by right after work to get him. I offered to bring him to her, but she was adamant I meet her at my house. So much for avoiding Caleb tonight…
“You ready to do this, kid?”
“Yeah, I am.”
We get to the courthouse and have a seat in front of the room number Karen let me know the judge will be in. I’m so excited to finally get to formally adopt Marco, but it breaks my heart Caleb isn’t here with us. I know he wouldn’t be able to adopt Marco, but I still wish he were here to share this moment with us.
Karen arrives with the paperwork and shortly after the judge calls us in.
He reads off the required legalities asking me to confirm who I am and then asks me to repeat after him promising to care for and provide for Marco. When we’re done, I sign on the dotted lines and then handed copies of the adoption paperwork. I have tears in my eyes and am seconds away from crying. I can’t believe this is real. I am a mother and to the most amazing, genuine, and selfless child. I feel so completely blessed. I turn around to smile at Marco, and that’s when I see Caleb sitting on the bench next to him. He has his phone out like he was taking pictures, and I lose it. The tears stream down my face and I walk over to give them both a hug.
“I love you, Son.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
Caleb takes pictures of Marco and me and then Karen offers to take a couple pictures of the three of us. Once we’re done, we head out to the parking lot. I don’t want to be rude to Caleb, but I had planned to spend the day with Marco, just the two of us.
“Umm… So…”
Before I can say anything, he saves me. “I have to get going. I have a couple errands to run. I’ll see you both later. Okay?” He gives Marco a hug. “Congratulations, buddy. You have the best mom there is.”
“That’s because I got the best kid,” I add.
We say goodbye and Marco and I head to his surprise.
After we stop at the store to pick up lunch to go, we arrive at Hollywood skate park. It is known to be one of the best skate parks. We get out of the car and I walk around to my trunk to grab Marco’s skateboard.
“Are you serious?” Marco fist pumps into the air and runs around to grab his skateboard from me. He gives me a huge hug. “Thank you so much. This is so awesome.”
He runs over and joins the teens that are all skateboarding. We spend the rest of the day at the park. I take picture after picture of him. When he gets hungry, he takes a break and we eat lunch together. He tries to show me how to ride on the board, but I suck at it. By the end of the day, he’s exhausted and ready to go home. This time I know our day won’t end with either of us being taken.
This is our second chance. Our fresh start.
“Thank you for today,” Marco says.
“You’re welcome, sweetie.”
I give him a kiss on his forehead and then we head home.
We aren’t even home thirty minutes when Hannah shows up to get Marco. I give her Marco’s backpack with clothes for the next two nights and kiss him goodbye. I’m not sure what I’m going to do this weekend, but I know staying home and sulking isn’t it. Just as they’re leaving, Caleb pulls up and blocks my car in.
“I’m leaving. Can you move your truck for me, please?”
“No, I can’t. I gave you a few days, but now we’re going to talk. But first we’re going out. Go get changed, please. ”
I don’t bother arguing. The look on his face tells me he isn’t playing around. I guess tonight we’ll be talking.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Caleb
Watching Hayley legally adopt Marco was one of the most beautiful moments I have witnessed. I wasn’t sure how she would feel about me being there, but I couldn’t imagine not being there with them. Hopefully one day it will be my turn to sign those papers, but first I need to fix Hayley and me.
I have everything planned. I purchased the engagement ring, made the reservations, wrote down the show times, and have written out an itinerary for the weekend, so I don’t forget anything. I spoke to Hannah and she was more than willing to take Marco for the weekend.
Now, I just need to pack for Hayley and me. I would tell her to pack, but that would give away the surprise of where I’m taking her and what we’re doing, so I’m doing it myself. I grab a luggage from the hallway closet and pack for myself first and then make my way to Hayley’s room to pack for her.
After grabbing a bunch of outfits I’ve seen her wear, I head to her bathroom to grab her toiletries. When I open the cabinet, I see a prescription that wasn’t there before. Prenatal vitamins. Why would Hayley be taking these? Unless…Holy shit! Is it possible? Is she pregnant?
Then it hits me—if she’s pregnant, she’s keeping it from me. She watched what happened to Kayla and Bentley when Kayla hid her pregnancy from Bentley. She listened to me tell her how hard it is for me to trust a woman. She heard my stories of my sister and mom hiding shit from me. There’s no way Hayley could be pregnant and keep something this important from me.
Thinking about it… she’s been emotional lately. We’ve been having sex for months and she hasn’t gotten her period at all. Then like a punch to the gut, I remember she was beaten up when she was taken. What if she lost our baby? What if the reason she’s avoiding me is because she lost our baby because I left them and they were taken. But wouldn’t she be more upset?
I should be mad that Hayley hasn’t told me if she is indeed pregnant or if she lost our baby, but I know Hayley and she wouldn’t keep something this important from me. She went through a huge ordeal and needs time. I’m going to show her this weekend I love her and want to spend my life with her, and I have to believe if those pills mean she is or was pregnant she’ll open up and talk to me. Hayley has done nothing but fight for us and I’m not going to assume she’s like every other woman who has proven they can’t be trusted. I’m going to trust Hayley until she proves otherwise.
I finish grabbing her stuff from the bathroom and haul the suitcase out to my truck. I drive to the jewelry store and pick up the ring. I was able to grab another ring Hayley wears on the same finger occasionally and have them size it.
When I return home, Hayley is home and Hannah is about to take Marco for the weekend. Hayley asks me to move my truck so she can run away like she’s been doing the last two nights, but that shit stops now.
Once she’s dressed, we jump into my truck and head to the strip. When we arrive at the Bellagio, Hayley gets excited but tries to tone it down, remembering we need to talk. I don’t want our weekend to be tainted, so I decide to have us go to the room to talk first, and then hopefully we’ll enjoy the weekend.
After I’m done checking us in, we make our way up to our room.
“What are we doing here?” Hayley asks, sitting on the couch.
“I thought it would be a good place to talk.” I kneel in front of her and spread her legs a little so I’m face to face with her. “Baby, I cannot even begin to apologize for leaving on Sunday. Saturday night when you were upset and I was giving you a massage you said something and I had a horrible flashback. The truth is, I get them often, but this one lasted longer and it scared the shit out of me.”
“A flashback from your time with Gloria and those other women?” she asks softly, putting her hands on both my cheeks.
“Yes, I’m so sorry. It feels like I’m cheating on you when I have them.
”
“Caleb, don’t say that. You can’t help where your brain goes. You aren’t cheating on me. You went through a lot as a teenager. Something like that doesn’t just go away. Would you consider seeing a therapist?”
I think about it for a minute and know it’s the right thing to do. Maybe speaking with someone will help me work out what goes through my head.
“Yeah, I will. Will you come with me, Hayles? I need you.”
She leans down and gives me a soft kiss, and it has me craving her, but right now it’s more important we talk.
“I promise you I will never run again. No matter how rough it gets, I’m in this for the long haul. There’s nowhere I would rather be than with you and Marco. I looked at three apartments and in every one all I thought was that none of them are home unless you guys are with me.”
“Caleb, I feel the same way. But you seriously hurt me by running. It’s not fair and I won’t tolerate it. You have to trust me enough to talk to me or we will never make it. I care so much about you. Aside from Marco, you have practically become my entire world. These last couple nights I even dreamed you were holding me at night. I don’t want to live without you.”
I laugh softly. “Oh, Hayles, I’m so sorry. I have so much to work on and I will. I promise. And baby, those weren’t dreams. I was there in your bed, every night after you fell asleep, holding you. I couldn’t go that long not holding you in my arms.”
Hayley wraps her arms around me and I pick her up in my arms. “I need you, Hayles. Right now I just want to make love to you.”
“Caleb, there’s something I need to tell you.” I can tell by the sound in her voice she’s going to tell me about the baby, but I stop her because when I propose, I need her to know it’s about us and not because she’s pregnant or was pregnant…
“Whatever you need to say can wait, baby. I need you now.”
“But—” she attempts to cut in, but I cut her off with a kiss.