by Nikki Ash
“Having a good time?” Sandra asks, sitting next to me.
“I am. Tristan has made some new friends.” I point to my son in the corner, playing a board game with a couple other kids.
“He’s a sweet little boy. You are a wonderful mother.”
“Thank you.”
“So, Kaden told me he went by Gabrielle’s and Gabe’s graves yesterday. I take it he finally told you about them?”
“He did.”
“And how do you feel about all that?” I’m not sure what she’s asking me. Am I able to love a man who already gave his heart to another woman? How do I feel about the fact that he already had a child with another woman? Some women might feel threatened by the ghost of a wife and son, but if Kaden was really mine, I wouldn’t be. I have learned from experience, there’s different kinds of love. One isn’t better or more than another.
“I hate what he went through, but I’m glad I met Kaden. He came into my life at a time when I needed a friend, and while I hate he moved to Las Vegas because of what he went through, I feel blessed to have met him. He’s a strong man. He’s held me up so many times when I wasn’t able to stand on my own two feet, and I know one day he’ll make an amazing husband.” I make sure to leave anything out about being friends and not really a couple. I’m not sure if Kaden has told his family we won’t be getting married after all.
“I’m so glad my son met you as well, Ashley.” Sandra gives me a soft kiss on my forehead before heading to sit next to her mother-in-law.
Chapter Twenty-One
Kaden
Bringing Ashley to the graves where my wife and son were buried was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, aside from actually burying them. I feared what she would think or say, but she handled it with such grace. I shouldn’t have expected anything less from Ashley. What I didn’t expect was that she would fully understand the young love Gabby and I shared. And not only did she understand it, but she accepted it.
When she told me she couldn’t marry me because she wanted to find that kind of love and that she wanted me to find it again, the image of me and Ashley popped into my head because I’ve already found that love again. And she’s right, it’s not the same kind of love, but it’s just as meaningful. The only difference is, with Gabby, I went in head first, but with Ashley, I’ve kept her at arm’s length.
I felt the ring burning a hole in my pocket, but knew no matter how understanding Ashley is, asking her to marry me for real at a cemetery is a no-no. I tried several times to tell her how I felt once we left, but she avoided me the rest of our time at my parents’ house. She put Tristan between us on the plane and slept the entire drive back home.
She left early Sunday morning with Tristan, leaving me a note that said she needed to buy him school supplies. I used the quiet time to get myself together. I need to make it clear to Ashley that I want more with her. I have lived so long with the guilt, blaming myself for my wife’s death, that I don’t even know what it feels like anymore to just focus on my own happiness. Speaking with Gabby’s family was a huge turning point. When they told me they wanted me to be happy, I felt like I was finally set free. Danielle is Gabby’s identical twin sister, part of why I had to move. I couldn’t handle seeing her around, the same face as my wife, but still living and breathing. Her telling me it’s okay to love again meant a lot to me.
“Kaden! Look what Auntie Hayley got me.” Tristan comes running into the house holding a backpack with the letters UFC sewn onto the back.
“That’s awesome!” Tristan runs back outside, so I follow him to see where he’s going. I walk outside to see Ashley’s hood popped open and the sweetest ass bent over the front of the car. She’s in tiny white jean shorts, and as she reaches onto her tippy toes to look farther inside, a bit of her ass cheeks peak out, causing my dick to twitch.
“Ahem.” I make a noise in my throat, and she pops up, turning around to look at me. I’m not sure what happened, but Ashley is covered in what looks like grease. She puts her hands on her hips, letting out a loud huff as she frowns.
“What happened?” I attempt to wipe some of the grease off her nose, but it’s pointless. It just spreads worse, leaving her looking cute as hell.
“I don’t know. The oil light came on, so I thought I would check the oil, but I can’t find where it’s located.”
I chuckle at her obvious frustration. “Let me have a look.” I open the cap to the oil, pulling the dipstick out to check how much is in there, and see it’s extremely low, which makes sense since it all seems to be on my driveway.
“You definitely need more oil. When was the last time you got an oil change?”
Her nose scrunches up in confusion. “I’m not sure. One time I needed a new tire and they were running some special on oil changes, so I got it done… Maybe like a year ago?”
I break out in laughter at that. I mean, it’s not funny, but it really is. “Ash, you’re supposed to get your oil changed like every three to six thousand miles.”
Her face grows even more confused. “Really? I read once it said recommended, but I didn’t know it was actually required.”
I laugh even harder, shaking my head at how clueless she is. “Why don’t you bring it by my mechanic this week? I’ll let him know you’re coming by. He can do a tune-up, oil change, and make sure everything is running okay. There might be a leak in your oil pan.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Okay, but I’m paying for it myself.”
“Whatever you say.” I’ll be calling him ahead of time to make sure he charges the services she gets done to my card.
When we get inside, Tristan is in the living room with school materials, spread out all around him. Pens, pencils, notebooks, crayons, markers, it looks like my living room shit out the Target back-to-school section.
“Damn, kid. You got enough stuff there? I hope you plan to get straight As with all those school supplies.”
He just laughs while filling his backpack.
“I guess I went a little overboard,” Ashley says, sounding nervous. “I’ve never been able to buy him everything he needed. I promise I’m going to pay you back the money you gave to Giovanni. I’ve already figured out a budget and payment plan. Now that I bought him his school supplies, I’m going to focus on saving for a place for us and the money to pay you back.”
“Hey, stop. I don’t give a shit about what you bought him or about you paying me back. Did you get everything he needs?”
“Yeah, he’s fine,” she says quickly.
“Mom, you said you would buy me clothes and shoes once you get paid. Don’t forget!”
“So, you didn’t get him everything he needs?”
“He has his clothes from last year. They’ll be fine until I get paid.”
I remember when I was in school and every kid would show up to school on the first day sporting new threads. There’s no way I’m letting Tristan go to school in last year’s clothes when I can help.
“Let’s go.”
“Go where?” Ashley asks.
“To the mall. We need to get Tristan clothes and shoes. Let’s go.”
“Kaden, I’ll handle it. He’s fine.”
“I know he’s fine, but I want to do this. So, stop arguing and get your ass in the car, please. Tristan! Let’s go, bud.”
The mall is fucking crazy! Everybody is doing last minute school shopping. Moms are yelling at their kids to try on clothes, kids are arguing they hate collared shirts. A dad is arguing with his daughter that the skirt is too short, while the daughter pouts. A little boy, no older than Tristan, is begging for two hundred dollar shoes because they’re made by his favorite basketball player. It’s great!
After we pick up all the clothing necessities and Tristan picks out the shoes he wants (and no, they aren’t the two-hundred-dollar basketball shoes), we head to the food court to eat dinner, where we run into Hayley and Liz.
“Oh, my God, is Kaden shopping at the mall willingly?” Liz and Hayley bot
h laugh at Liz’s dumb joke.
“Don’t hate because I’m here while your husbands are… where exactly?” I look around dramatically.
“Very funny, but they actually are here. Thank you very much. They’re getting our food with Bella and Marco. I made Caleb come to hold all the bags. I’m freaking exhausted. I can’t believe I still have like two months to go.” Hayley rubs her round stomach.
“Bella showed him the new dress she wanted out of the Victoria Secret catalogue I left on the counter and he nearly blew a gasket, insisting he join us to ensure she doesn’t buy the dress.” Liz rolls her eyes. I laugh at the image of Bella showing him a piece of lingerie and him almost having a heart attack.
“Why did you get dragged here?” Hayley asks.
“He didn’t.” Ashley huffs. “He made us come here.”
I smile wide, knowing I got my way. The looks on Tristan’s face when he got to pick out all the clothes he wanted was worth it. Ashley and Tristan are mine to take care of, and once we get time to ourselves to talk, Ashley will understand it’s no longer her against the world. It’s now me and her against the world.
“Tristan, let’s go get food. Ash, pull a table over and we’ll join them for lunch.” I give her a quick kiss on her lips and walk away with Tristan before she can argue.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ashley
“For a guy who is only marrying you for pretend, he seems really into you,” Liz says when Kaden and Tristan walk away. When Kaden kissed me, it left me stunned. I told him I no longer wanted to marry him, so I don’t know why he’s still acting like we’re a fake couple. We’ll need to have a talk about boundaries. He keeps acting like this and I’m going to have my heart even more broken than it already will be.
“Are you guys going to Alex’s fight this weekend?” I ask, ignoring Liz’s comment.
“Of course,” Hayley says. “I’ve been dying to go to New York! Caleb, Marco, and I are going to make a weekend out of it.”
“We’re going as well. Bella will miss school Monday, but it’s fine. Cooper is going up Tuesday with Alex and Kaden, and the kids and I will meet him there on Saturday. We’re flying out early Saturday morning.” Liz pulls out some baby food and, after placing a bib on Nathan, starts feeding him.
“Are you going?” Hayley asks.
“Going where?” Caleb chimes in, setting their food down. Cooper and Kaden set their trays down as well, and the kids grab their happy meals from Chick-fil-A, taking them to a table next to us, apparently starting their own kids’ table.
“New York,” I say, then turn to Kaden, who’s taking a bite of his grilled chicken sandwich. “I didn’t know you were leaving to New York on Tuesday.”
Kaden finishes chewing. “Yeah, we leave early as hell Tuesday morning. You and Tristan should join me. You guys can fly over with the other women for the weekend. Saturday will be crazy busy, but we can spend the day together Sunday and Monday before we all fly back.”
“I’m not sure I can take off work. Caleb already let me off for the week to visit your family. It would be rude to ask for time off again. Plus, I need the money,” I whisper to Kaden, hoping nobody else hears.
“You can have off.” Caleb winks at me and Kaden laughs.
“And we’re taking the private plane so it won’t cost you a dime,” Liz chimes in.
“Are you working tonight?” Kaden asks.
“Yeah.”
“We need to talk.”
“Okay, but it’s going to have to wait. I actually need to get going soon, so I’m not late to work.”
Kaden glares but doesn’t say a word.
“Mom, when is the Newbreed tournament?” Bella asks Liz.
“Next month, sweetie.”
“Can Tristan go?”
“That’s up to his mommy, Bella.”
The Newbreed tournament is a fighting tournament for amateur fighters and focuses on the fighter’s techniques they’ve learned in class such as Brazilian Jujitsu. The classes Kaden and Bentley teach are mostly BJJ and grappling. Bella goes to most of the tournaments in the area and some in other states, but Tristan and Marco have never been. They’re expensive to enter, and if they aren’t local, you have to pay for travel and the hotel.
“Marco and I are going,” Bella says. “Can Tristan go too? We’re going to visit Mickey at Disney too!”
“That sounds like a lot of fun, but…”
“That does sound like fun,” Kaden cuts me off. “Tristan, would you want to go? Do you feel confident enough to enter the tournament?”
Tristan’s face lights up, and I want to punch Kaden in his face.
“Yes! I know I’m ready. Can I go, Mom?”
“We’ll talk about it at home. I really need to get to work. Say goodbye to your friends.”
I get up quickly, throwing my food away, then say bye to everyone. I start walking quickly to the car, ignoring Kaden calling my name. Once I’m at the car, I have no choice but to wait outside the passenger door for him. I obviously didn’t think this through.
“What’s your deal?” Kaden asks when he catches up to me.
“Can we talk about this later?” I glance Tristan’s way hoping Kaden will get my hint of not wanting to discuss this in front of Tristan. I’m embarrassed enough that Kaden brought it up in front of our friends. He knows damn well I can’t afford to just fly to Orlando, and there’s no way I’m taking more money from him. I owe him enough as it is.
We never get a chance to talk, though. I rush off to work, and then get home late. When I get up in the morning, Kaden is already gone to the gym. Tristan and I head to visit his new teacher and new school at open house. Then we go to lunch with Hayley. I hate spending unnecessary money, but Hayley pretty much threatened our friendship if I didn’t join her.
“Hey girly!” Hayley adorably waddles into the restaurant. “Did you meet your teacher, Tristan?”
“Yeah. Her name is Mrs. Luongo and she’s nice.”
“I can’t believe Marco is starting middle school this year! I had to drop him off for his open house. They spend the day showing the sixth graders around so they aren’t lost and confused tomorrow.”
After the waitress comes over and takes our order, Hayley says, “Soo… Caleb said he’s hoping you’ll take over managing soon.”
“I hope so, too.”
“Why are you still…” She leaves out dancing since Tristan is sitting at the table with us. He’s coloring a picture on the kid’s menu, but you never know what he’s listening to. “…if he offered to let you train without…”
“I’m not letting him just give me the job. I’ll lose the respect of all the other employees there. I need their respect to run the club. I’m learning a lot and I plan to switch to management before the baby comes.”
Hayley rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue. “Okay.”
“Have you thought of any names for the little girl in your belly?”
“Yes, but Caleb, Marco, and I aren’t in agreement. I should get the final say. I’m the one incubating this little princess for nine months, after all. Do you think you will ever have another baby?”
“I hope so, but the next time I have a baby I’d like to be in a relationship that’s more stable. I would rather not have to do it on my own again. But right now, I need to focus on finding a place to live.”
“Did Kaden kick you out?” Hayley’s eyes turn sinister, switching into best friend mode. We’ve become extremely close over the last year or so.
I want to tell her about Kaden and what I now know about him, but it’s not my place to say anything.
“No! No, he would never do that. But I’ve told him I can’t marry him for pretend anymore. I want to marry a guy that I love. A guy that loves me back, and not just as a best friend.”
“Well, I know you love Kaden… as more than a best friend.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t feel the same way. He doesn’t want to get married for real, and even though I respect his choices, I can
’t be the one to do it.”
“Have you told him this?”
“Yeah, and he wasn’t too thrilled. He’s said we need to talk, but we haven’t had time. We’ve both been crazy busy since we got home.”
My cell phone dings.
Kaden: We had to leave for New York today instead of tomorrow. The photoshoot needed a couple more shots before the fight. Can Britni babysit tonight? Or you just quit?
“Oh, shoot. Kaden let me know they had to leave earlier than planned. He was supposed to babysit tonight. I forgot to tell him Britni left for college. He’s been home with Tristan lately, so I forgot to mention it.”
Ignoring his comment about me quitting, I type back: I’ll handle it. Have a safe flight!
“Why don’t you just have him spend the night with me?”
“Okay, thanks. Damn, it’s his first day of school. I wanted him to get a full night of sleep at home.”
“It will be fine.”
After lunch, Hayley takes Tristan with her, so I can head to work. The night isn’t too busy, and I’m able to close the club down on time right at two with the help of Scarlett. After I started working at Assets, Scarlett applied for a job and was hired as well. I love getting to work with her again. Thursday through Saturday the upstairs is open, but Sunday through Wednesday only the first floor with the restaurant are open.
“How’s the training going?” she asks as the bouncer on duty escorts us to our vehicles.
“It’s going good. I just always thought my career would be geared toward children, not managing a club. You know, with your business degree and experience, I bet he would train you as well. He is going to need someone else once he’s back to fighting full time.”