“This feels amazing,” Sarah said, echoing my thoughts.
Although I couldn’t see where my hand was going, I reached over to her. My hand brushed her arm, and I ran it downward until my fingers linked with hers. She hummed in contentment, and I could tell from the sound that she was smiling.
My plan was working. She was relaxing and taking some time for herself for once, and the fact that I’d caused her happiness made me happier.
*
“Thank you again,” she told me when we woke up in my bed the next morning. “That spa night was incredible, and what came afterward…”
“Even better?” I kissed her neck.
“Way better.” She arched her chest toward me until her nipple was in my mouth.
She was pretty aggressive, for someone who’d never been with a woman until a week ago. It took all my strength to stop touching her and step away. I wanted to make her breakfast in bed.
When I returned with a tray, she sucked in a gasp. “This is amazing.”
It was cut-up fruit and toaster waffles. “Emma could do better than this.”
“Don’t compare yourself to my daughter, please. Slight turn-off.” She kissed me softly and picked up an apple slice. “But no, making me breakfast in bed would never occur to her.”
“I’ll have to have a chat with her about that.”
She shook her head. “When she’s older, she’ll appreciate all the sacrifices I’ve made for her. Right now, I just want her to have a good life.”
“Just don’t forget about your own life,” I said softly.
She pursed her lips. “You know, it’s very easy for you to sit there and tell me that when you’re childless and loaded. Things aren’t that simple when you’re a single mom struggling to make ends meet.”
My heart clenched. She was right. “I’m sorry. I’m only trying to look out for you. I care about you.”
“I know you’re coming from a good place. I’d just like you to keep these things in mind.” Her face softened, and she put her arm around me.
I grabbed a pear slice from the tray. “Did we just have our first fight?”
Her eyes crinkled. “Maybe. It went pretty well, didn’t it?”
“I think it went great.”
*
Eventually Sarah had to go home. I would’ve kept her there with me all weekend—would’ve paid the sitter whatever she wanted—but Sarah said something about missing Emma, or something. I wasn’t really paying attention, too caught up in looking at her luscious lips.
I did sneak over to her place the next night for a little while after Emma was in bed. Cuddling turned to touching, and surprisingly, I only wanted more by the time I snuck out again. Sarah was on her way to becoming the woman I’d had the most sex with, ever. Rather than getting bored, I was only more enchanted by her with every passing day.
I’d never envisioned myself with a girlfriend, especially one who had a child, but the idea was growing on me. I doubted I’d ever get tired of Sarah, and as far as kids went, Emma was pretty great. I could see her turning into a cool adult, too.
Was I ready to be a mom? No way. A step-mom, though? I could kind of see it.
It was already late by the time I left Sarah’s comfortable bed, and once again, I hadn’t memorized my lines.
And yet, instead of working on that, I stayed up Googling how to date someone with children and what it meant to be a step-parent.
Seventeen – Sarah
Episode six was being filmed this week, and since the actors had to practice their lines, I wouldn’t get the boardroom to myself to work. I stayed in the corner, balancing my laptop on my lap. My noise-canceling headphones did their best as I transcribed a court case about a breaking-and-entering case, but they couldn’t block out a sudden burst of laughter.
I took the headphones off and nudged Emma in the ribs. “What’s so funny?”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand the joke.”
“You don’t want to know,” Katie choked out.
I looked around the room. Everyone was still chuckling, and none of them seemed inclined to tell me why. “You’re filling me in later,” I muttered to Katie.
I pulled the headphones back on, but not before I heard Aaron scream out that his daughter was dying. Damn, they’d killed Lida? Reluctantly, I slid the headphones down to my neck. I could hold off on work for another half-hour. I was dying to hear what would happen next.
“Lida, tell me who did this to you,” Aaron said desperately. “Who could do such a horrible thing?”
“Lida’s eyes open and close,” Jim read from the stage directions. “She opens her mouth to speak, but only comes out with a gurgle.”
“Lida, talk to me,” Aaron said.
“Wesley grasps Lida’s hand,” Jim said. “He holds it to his heart, continuing to sob and beg her to speak. Her eyes stay closed, and a trickle of blood comes out of her mouth. She’s dead.”
The room was silent. I was probably the only one who hadn’t already read the script, and yet all of the actors seemed to be on the edge of their seat, like me.
“Hearing Wesley’s sobs, Gavin, Ivy, and Naomi come into the kitchen,” Jim said. “They see Lida’s corpse and rush over to her. Ivy and Naomi hang back while Gavin cries over his sister’s body.”
“This has gone too far,” Cole shrieked as Gavin, his voice higher than I thought it really should’ve been. “My mother is gone, and now my sister? Which one of you sick fucks did this?”
“We’ve all lost somebody,” Katie read. “Don’t act like you’re the only one in mourning. Not to mention, someone’s been poisoning me.”
“Bullshit,” Cole hissed. “You’re probably poisoning yourself to take the heat off you.”
“You can’t prove that,” Aaron said. “One way or another, though, we have to find out who the killer is. This ends tonight!”
Katie gave a harsh laugh. “And how do you propose we find out?” she asked. “Killer, oh killer, please raise your hand!”
“Let’s think this through logically,” Cole said. “Who had something to gain from these deaths?”
“This person isn’t trying to gain anything,” Katie said, wild-eyed. “This person is just plain psychotic. They’re killing for the sheer joy of it at this point.”
“Mommy,” Emma said.
“Don’t tell me my sister died for no reason,” Cole spat. “My mom…”
“And my husband!” Katie said. “Once again, you are not the only victim. Who knows? My daughter could be next.”
Jim read out the stage directions—Katie would pull Emma into her arms, and Emma’s eyes would fill with fear. They were already fearful, which made my heart hurt—in a good way. She’d completely lost herself in her character, and so had the others. The tension in the room was building uncomfortably high.
“Mommy,” Emma squeaked, “you’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Katie turned to Aaron and Cole. “Listen, this place isn’t safe. We need to dig our way out of here, or any of us could be next.”
“How many times have we tried?” Aaron asked sarcastically.
“We need to try harder,” Katie said. “If we work together, we can do it. With the amount we’ve been eating, we’re only going to get weaker.”
“No, we’re not going to try harder,” Aaron said. “I’m done with trying.”
“Wesley stands up and grabs a knife from the knife block,” Jim said. “Eyes wild, he looks at each person in turn.”
“One of you killed my wife and my daughter,” Aaron growled. “You all have to die.”
“Dad, no!” Cole yelled.
Emma stared at her line in the script. “Don’t hurt my mommy! She wouldn’t have killed anybody. It had to be you or you.”
God, she was good. The whole room was on edge.
“It wasn’t either of us,” Cole said. “Maybe it was you!”
The next line was Katie’s, but for some reason, my eyes rested on Emma
as she bit her lip. She dipped her head, and a giggle escaped her—then another. Soon every actor in the room was laughing.
“I’m sorry!” Emma said. “Maybe it was me. I don’t know.” She giggled again.
I put a hand on her back to quiet her. “It is kind of funny, isn’t it?”
Across the table, Katie gave her a soft look. “Imagine our little Emma killing anyone.”
My heart melted. She really did like Emma. In time, maybe she could even love her.
“It wasn’t supposed to be funny.” Jim was the only one not laughing. “Let’s take a break and see if we can focus when we get back.”
*
It was ten o’clock Wednesday morning, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. The recording I was trying to transcribe sounded like gibberish, and it only grew more confusing every time I rewound and replayed.
I rubbed my temples, wondering if the lack of sleep had officially driven me insane. I’d been up past three last night trying to get some work done. Between tutoring Emma and talking to Katie, I’d fallen so far behind I didn’t know how I’d ever catch up.
Although I needed to keep going, I was no use in my current state. Reluctantly slipping off my headphones, I admitted defeat and got up to find some coffee.
On my way to the set, I bumped—literally—into Kiara, one of the make-up ladies. “Oh my God,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”
“That’s fine.” Her arms were full of palettes and brushes and whatever else make-up artists used. “Are you okay? You look…”
“She looks like a zombie.” Katie’s voice came from behind her.
I deflated. I’d been hoping the coffee would perk me up before Katie had the chance to see me like this. “Thanks, I appreciate it,” I said dryly.
“But Sarah, what’s happened to you?” Kiara asked. “You need some concealer to cover those under-eye bags. And your hair—why did you get that beautiful cut if you weren’t going to brush it?”
I hadn’t thought the state of my hair was that obvious. I’d thought the messy bun would keep people from figuring out I hadn’t washed it in days. “I’ve just been busy.”
“She’s been working herself to the bone,” Katie said to Kiara. “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about her. I got this.”
I sighed as she put an arm around me, leading me back to the boardroom. “I’ll be fine after a cup or two of joe. Aren’t you supposed to be acting?”
“I have a few minutes.” She looked at me with such concern, I didn’t even want to meet her eyes. “What are you doing to yourself, Sarah?”
I would’ve shrugged off her arm, but it felt far too good and comforting. “I’m fine. I’ve been busy, but it’s all temporary. Another couple months—”
“You’re not going to put yourself through this for another couple months!” Her voice was sharp. “Something has got to give.”
I wished I could believe her, but life didn’t work like that. I didn’t exactly have a choice. “What, that I should give up my job and just hope to get it back when the shooting’s over? Or maybe I should hire a teacher for Emma with nonexistent money?”
She squeezed my shoulders, and the tension there eased a tiny bit. “I’d offer to pay if I thought you’d accept.”
“No way. Not a chance.”
“You can’t do all of this on your own.” She hesitated, and then her eyes lit up. “Let me transcribe for you.”
“Huh? No.”
“Come on.” She made a grab for my laptop. “You could take a nap.”
I whisked it away. “You don’t know how.”
“You can show me. The software can’t be that hard.”
“And the legalese? I took a course on how to do this.”
She pouted, her eyes resting mournfully on my laptop as if she really wanted to do this. “Just let me try and we’ll see how it goes.”
Her offer was so tempting… too tempting. If she kept going one minute longer, I was going to give in. “You already have a job to do. You’re supposed to be acting right now.”
“I can do a little of your work between my scenes.” She gave me a hard look. “It’ll be just like how you squeeze your work and tutoring Emma between everything else you do.”
She had me there… but there was still a big problem. “This stuff is confidential.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I have to say no.” I suppressed a yawn. “I guess my work can wait long enough for me to nap, though.”
She grinned. “That’s all I ask. I’ll wake you up in half an hour.”
I set my arms on the desk to cushion my head, and quickly fell into a deep sleep.
*
I woke with cotton mouth and my shirt sleeve soaked with drool. A small hand pushed on my shoulder, and I opened my eyes to see Emma looking impatient.
“Wake up, Mommy. The sandwiches are almost gone.”
“What? It’s lunchtime?” I must’ve slept for two hours.
“Lunchtime is almost over.”
Never mind. Three.
How had I slept so long? Katie was supposed to wake me up, dammit. I should’ve known she was too irresponsible to rely on. How far had I fallen behind on my work now?
I reached for my laptop, ignoring the rumbling of my stomach. Forget food. I had to get started right now.
Instead of the file I’d been working on, a new document filled the screen. Sarah, I’m not going to let you keep doing this to yourself. I know you want to keep working, but there’s nothing that says you have to homeschool Emma, too. I’m hiring her a tutor—no ifs, ands, or buts. See you on-set!
I pressed my face into my hands. Dammit, Katie. She thought she was being helpful, but…
Well… it wasn’t a bad idea, aside from how I didn’t want to indebt myself to her like that. Could she even afford a tutor? Did she have any idea how much they cost? She wasn’t loaded, even if she had more money than me. She’d mentioned that running low on funds was the whole reason she’d signed on for this show in the first place.
“Let’s go get some sandwiches,” I told Emma, and rushed out to the set.
Katie was standing by the wall, chatting with Aaron. Something he’d said had made her laugh, and her smile took over her entire face. She was so gorgeous that it could’ve made my heart stop, and I stayed too awed to move for a moment before I remembered I wanted to talk to her.
“Mommy, are you having lunch?” Emma demanded.
“You grab a sandwich for me, sweetie. I’ll eat it in a second.”
I headed over to Katie, and even though she was still laughing, the look on my face must’ve told her the matter was urgent. Sobering up immediately, she turned to Aaron. “Let’s continue this discussion later. Sarah needs to steal me for a minute.”
Aaron went off without a fuss, and I faced Katie with my arms crossed.
Katie gave me a weak smile. “Did you not like my note?”
“I loved it, but no. The whole idea is crazy. Emma’s not your daughter. I mean—” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “We’ve only been dating for a couple weeks. This isn’t your place.”
“I want to do it,” she said simply. “I can’t stand back and watch someone I care about throw herself under the bus like that. Which one of us is the washed-up former child actor here? How is it that you’re the one with self-destructive tendencies?”
I didn’t know which part to object to first. “You’re not washed up, and I’m not self-destructive.”
She heaved a sigh. “Look, we can make it a loan if you want, but I’m putting my foot down. You have to either give up your job or get a tutor for Emma, and since I know you’re not going to give up your job…”
I huffed. “You talk like you have some say over my life. I have to do this, or what?”
She glanced around. “Or I’m not going to date you anymore,” she whispered.
I blinked.
“Sorry, but I can’t stand seeing you this miserable. Not to mention,
you look like a zombie. And that’s after your nap.”
I made a face. She did have a point, even if it hurt to hear it. I guessed that was called tough love.
Not that we were in love, of course. It was way too early for anything like that.
“So…” I said. “How would this loan work?”
Eighteen – Katie
Friday night was quickly approaching, and I couldn’t wait. I hadn’t been alone with Sarah since last weekend, and the anticipation was driving me into a frenzy. It sucked to see her every day and not be able to touch or kiss her. I wanted to hold off on making our relationship public until we were both sure about it, but it freaking sucked.
I peeked into the window of the boardroom as I headed back to the set after a break. She was sitting there with a middle-aged woman, probably interviewing her for the teacher position.
I was so glad she’d finally accepted the loan and allowed me to take some of her burden. We’d drawn up a quick contract outlining the terms and conditions for the loan. Little did she know, I had no plans of accepting any payment back.
Once she found a tutor, she could go back to her regular sleep schedule. And once the filming was over, Emma was back in school, and she only had to worry about her transcription work, our relationship would really take off. At least, I hoped.
Realizing I was still standing there staring at her, I forced myself to move. I didn’t know why she felt the need to act like some kind of superwoman, but I hoped I’d gotten through her head that she didn’t have to do it all. She wouldn’t be a failure if she allowed other people to help her, especially since she’d only be doing what was best for everyone.
Back on set, the actors were still waiting around as the camera operators set up. It was taking them a while to finish the blocking. I glanced around, my eyes landing on Emma, who was sitting on a step with a paper plate full of chips.
Heading over to her, I grabbed a chip without asking, the way I might’ve done if I had a little sister. “How’s it going, kiddo? Excited for your sleepover with your friends tonight?”
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