Without warning, he placed her over his knee and smacked her bottom hard. "Does this answer your question?"
"It's just a dress, Darby. Your mother insisted I host the tea party, and this dress was the only—" She halted. There was no way she was going to tell him that her belly was expanding. Not now. "It h-helped me to feel less insecure."
"Wearing it, knowing it was something I have expressly forbidden, was disrespectful and will not go unaddressed." His hand landed a few more times, gaining strength. Then the lecturing began. Oh, dear God, she hated his lecturing! She would gladly accept more smacks if he promised to remain silent.
"I know all about my responsibilities, sir. They weigh down on me, day after day."
"Then let us talk about your stubborn pride, shall we? Others might not know you, Lillianna, but I certainly do. The more insecure you feel, the more prideful you become. I daresay the queen herself could not boast a stiffer back than you." As if he feared she was not feeling the full force of his disappointment, he moved her white shift up and over her waist. Ignoring the already reddened area, he continued on.
"It is my duty as your husband to take care of you, but I can't do that so long as you shut me out. It is time for you to accept things as they are, sweetheart. It's also time for you to share them with me. I realize things here at my parents' house are less than perfect, but nevertheless, they are what they are. When I get you home, things will be different. You'll be mistress of the house and you won't be subjected to my mother's ridicule or disapproval. But for now, you need to stop trying to lash out at other people when you feel hurt."
"Maybe you should be having this conversation with your own mother, Darby." It was spoken before she thought better of it. Her sobbing followed. It felt as if the world was pressing down on her from all angles. "I apologize, Charlie. I know I'm not perfect."
His hand stopped, above her bottom, and he turned her so she was cradled in his arms. "Lillianna, listen to me, my darling. I'm concerned about your disobedience, especially when it's something I've expressly forbidden. But what hurts the most is your failure to have trust in me to protect you. I know you have many things weighing on your heart. I know you feel responsibilities right now, however, you've refused to even share them with me." He tilted her chin upward and kissed her mouth gently. "Each day, sweetheart, I feel you grow more apart from me. What can I do to help? How can I protect you when you won't tell me about the demons that chase you at night, even when you lie in my arms? What is hurting you so? Perfect, Lillianna? You're perfect for me. That's all that matters."
She was sobbing hard now. No one was there to save her when her parents had died or when she'd worked in the mill. Oh, how she had dreamed of someone coming to rescue her then. In the end, however, she'd had to make her own way. Maybe fate had placed her in this manor for a reason. Was she the person destined to make life better for the workers at the mill? God surely had a purpose for her, even Chloe had said so. She had come a long way since childhood, almost full circle. Somehow, her experience would provide her with the means to bring about change. No, Darby could not fix things for her, this time. This was her fight.
"I'm trying, Darby. I really am. There is much I feel responsible for right now, but I am searching for a way to address those challenges. As for being prideful, I'm working on that, too. It's something I learned the hard way, as a lost child, trying to make my way in life without guidance or support. I had only myself to depend on, and sharing my burden is new to me. Although I know you would move Heaven and Earth to solve my problems, Charlie, it's necessary for me to handle some things on my own. It will give me a chance to reclaim my soul, to face my past and move into my future with my head held high."
Darby held her in his arms as she cried herself to sleep.
When she awakened, later in the afternoon, she looked around the room, only to realize Darby was not there. She realized how soundly she'd slept. It was her mother-in-law who was standing over her bedside, watching her closely. "Rebekah says you have not had your monthly in all the time she has served you," the countess said without preamble. "Are you with child, Lillianna?"
Lily had assumed she had no more tears to spend, but she was wrong. The expression on the face of Darby's mother broke her heart. When the countess observed Lily's sudden outburst of tears, she appeared to move closer, almost as if she intended to embrace Lily. Suddenly, however, she turned back toward the doorway, muttering in a low voice, "I thought so."
Sneaking out…
Another week had gone by. It was first light outside, and Lily lay there quietly with her eyes closed, knowing she had slept poorly yet again. She felt a light kiss on her shoulder, followed by Darby tucking the coverlet around her again as he rose from the bed and dressed quietly.
"Sleep, my darling," he said softly.
Lily whimpered her acquiescence. The recurring dream had come again during the night, in which she had been one of the workers at the mill. Gone were her fine clothes; she was dressed like the others, in ragged garments. She'd worn a linsey-woolsey dress that looked old and dilapidated, instead of the fine gowns she normally wore.
Now awake, she thought about the clothes the workers wore. During the past few days, she'd managed to locate in town a discarded garment that resembled those worn by the workers. She'd brought it home and washed it, hiding it away in a small bag at the bottom of the wardrobe. She'd even managed to find a covering for her hair, so the bright red might not show, and hoped she could get into the mill past Ashton.
Giving Darby enough time to make it down the hall, she crept out of bed and opened the door to their bedroom, peeking out. He was gone.
Today was the day she'd been waiting for—the day she'd been dreading. Lily hastily hurried toward the wardrobe and pulled out one of the few dresses she owned which buttoned up the front and tugged it on. She had no desire to include Rebekah in her plans this morning. The girl had warmed to her over the past weeks. But she knew how much Rebekah worried about her little brother, and Lily had no desire to worry her more. She tied back her hair and grasped the folded, ragged garment in one hand, tucking it inside her cloak.
Silently opening the door, she looked up and down the hall. Feeling like a little waif again who was sneaking out of the convent orphanage, she kept a constant look around her, listening for sounds of opening doors and approaching footfalls.
Finally, when she was out of the house, she sighed with relief. Jacob was the first person she saw outside the stables.
"Do you have need of the carriage this morning, my lady?" he asked politely.
"I do, Jacob, thank you." She watched him go back inside, holding her breath. So far, so good.
Her shoulders sagged with relief inside the carriage when, at last, they had pulled away and she was able to look backward at the house. She was unable to believe she'd actually gotten away without anyone knowing she'd left. Inside her cloak, she clutched the garments she'd prepared to wear. Darby would be furious with her when he found out she'd gone. But perhaps she could make it back home before they knew. It was still extremely early. When she returned, she promised herself she would talk to her husband and tell him what she was doing. And perhaps, just perhaps, by then, she'd have a plan.
"Lady Darby?" It was Jacob's voice. The carriage had come to a stop.
"Yes, Jacob?" She gave him a big smile. "I'm sorry; I seem to be a little more tired than I thought I was. I believe I shall rest for a few minutes. I'll call you when I'm ready to get out, all right?"
He looked concerned. "Certainly, my lady."
The mill opened the gates at six. She didn't have much time, and she knew it. Quickly, without making too much motion inside the carriage, she changed garments. The gray woolen thing that she put on was scratchy. She'd worn ones like this often enough when she'd worked there, but she'd forgotten just how itchy and uncomfortable they could be. Looking down, she tucked the funds she'd retrieved from her purse into her boot; it was the only place she could hide them. T
he corset, she'd had to stop wearing recently, due to the tightness. Even Rebekah had suggested it and had offered to let out her gowns for her a bit. Lily had happily agreed.
Slowly, carefully, she opened the door to the carriage and sneaked out. She caught a glimpse of Jacob, sitting topside and facing the opposite direction as he waited for her to call out. She managed to lower herself to the ground and stealthily sneak away, leaving her good clothes and her cloak lying in the seat. He'd be alarmed when he eventually found them, but so be it.
A block down toward the Tea Room, she crossed the street and moved into the back alley until she heard voices—female voices. A group of women were headed to work in the mill. Lily carefully moved among them as they passed. Smiling at one woman, she found herself concentrating on what they were saying.
She moved to the inner part of the crowd as they approached the gate and managed to look the other direction as Ashton let them in, without him seeing her face. Then, she breathed a sigh of relief, accompanied at the same time by a wave of terror.
She was in.
She began to look for Colin. But he didn't seem to be there. Within a few moments, everyone seemed to be at their assigned looms, and she was forced to sneak about to avoid glances from the supervisors and the floor men. But she heard one of them say Colin was no longer here. A following comment disturbed her even further as she heard another say, "Fenwirth 'as a terrible foul temper today. We all better stay out of 'is way."
A good look…
Lily began to move from one floor to the next, watching with dismay as she saw firsthand their current state of plight. The little carders on the second floor constantly watched over their shoulders as the overseers walked the floor with canes, encouraging them to work harder and faster. Her heart broke as she saw that the conditions for them were far worse than they had been when she worked there. Fenwirth had been an overseer then. Now, he was the owner. How had he gotten into that position? He'd never been a wealthy man.
Suddenly, she spotted him. His face was etched in a permanent scowl, with deep angry creases along both sides of his mouth. He walked with a swagger, swinging his cane in a threatening way. It was the first time she'd seen him since the incident in which she was injured, and somehow, he didn't look as mean and threatening as she remembered. His shoulders bore a stoop. But when he shouted, he sounded every bit as evil and full of menace as he ever had. Lily frowned as she watched him come up close to two or three women who were working hard and concentrating on their weaving and shout from just behind them.
"Bloody bastard," she muttered under her breath. Fenwirth was enjoying himself.
All at once, from the corner of the room came a loud clacking sound, followed by a shriek. Lily wanted desperately to see what was happening. A moment later, two men approached.
"Mr. Fenwirth, it's broken again. We need workers to repair it, sir."
"Go get the boys. And the girl, Annie."
"It seems worse than that, sir. I doubt the children can do it."
"Nonsense. I said go get them."
Lily gasped but managed to keep it silent enough so he didn't hear. She waited quietly, out of sight, as the two men showed up a few minutes later with the little boys who'd had the misfortune of being chosen the last time she was here. She wondered if they used these same children often.
Her hand flew to her mouth as the tiny girl came up the stairs, looking over her shoulder at the man behind her. Her eyes were wide and frightened and darted about as she blinked rapidly. Her hands were jammed under her arms, almost as if she was trying to protect them. Had she been hurt before?
Fenwirth pointed toward her with the cane in his hand. "Under the loom."
Her eyes widened further, and she followed one of the men toward the corner. He bent down, trying to explain where the problem was. The boys were standing at the same spot.
Lily was blazing with fury as she watched. Fenwirth was standing over them, shouting and waving the cane. Slowly, Lily moved around the room, from one loom to the next, to stay out of sight. Fenwirth had the children near tears, and it was all Lily could do to keep from jumping out of her hiding spot and smacking him over the head with his own cane. At the same time, she quaked at the thought that he might see her.
Another scream—this time, a child's—as the loom collapsed further down on top of Annie. Finnian and Bryce were working hard to get her out.
Fenwirth was moving forward, shouting.
"Stop it! I said stop!" A shout pierced the air, and Lily gasped as she realized it came from her. She couldn't help herself; she had run forward toward the loom. Fenwirth's cane froze in the air as he turned, staring.
She moved toward him, speaking through clenched teeth. "Fenwirth, you bloody bastard! You should burn in hell for what you're doing, do you hear? How dare you put them in such danger!" Trying desperately to pull up on the equipment that had Annie trapped under it, she had no success and, finally, raised her skirts and climbed under it. She worked to make her voice as calm and comforting as she could, but her movements were jerky and her speech rushed. "Here, sweet girl, let's see if we can get you out. Shh, don't cry."
The little girl was whimpering. "'Tis my arm and my hand."
Lily could see where the problem was. She was fully aware of the unsteadiness it seemed to have; the monster shuddered and shook. Annie was terrified every time it made a sound, and Lily tried to move it off the child far enough to relieve pressure on her trapped little arm and her hand.
Finally, she turned toward the men who stood by. Their faces showed fright, as well, and she realized they were just as afraid as she was that it would collapse.
"Don't just stand there! Lift!" she called out, glaring at the men. The two little boys they'd brought up were already trying to pull on it with all their might in an attempt to stabilize it. She breathed a sigh of relief when the men moved around it and grabbed hold.
"Lift!" she shouted. "Her hand is still caught!"
"Drop it!" Fenwirth shouted. "I own this—and I own you! Listen to me!"
"No!" Lily stared upward at him in disbelief. "My father-in-law is the Earl of Darbyshire. If you cause her to be further injured, you'll pay. Do you hear me?" She was shouting at the top of her lungs now.
Fenwirth's face was apoplectic. It turned red, then purple, and for a moment, she thought he'd burst. "You lie," he bellowed. "I remember you; you're a troublemaker." He turned toward the men who were lifting on the equipment and shouted again, "Drop the loom!"
They looked from Lily to Fenwirth and back to Lily. Lily held her breath. But even though Fenwirth continued to roar at them, they held on tightly, pulling up on it. Lily, inside, heaved with all her might against the heavy piece of equipment to ease the pressure on the child's hand. To her surprise, two more men appeared from below and came to her aid. Lily sighed with relief as it gave suddenly and Annie was freed, but she refused to let go.
"Go, Annie. Go out to safety! Bryce, Finnian, you, too!"
Annie paused outside the unstable equipment, but it was Finn who hesitated, still under it. "Cain't leave you, ma'am!"
Lily forced herself to smile at him. "I promise you, I'll be out right behind you. Finnian. Please go?"
His little face was torn; she could see it. But, at last, he moved under it and stood just on the outside of the equipment. Lily watched him and waited until all the children were out of danger before following. She moved far enough away from it and finally sat down on the old floor.
She heard a collective sigh of relief from where she sat and looked up. The women had abandoned their looms and come forward, all of them.
The loom shuddered as they stood back, and as the four men let go of it from above, it completely collapsed into pieces on the floor with a terrible rumbling sound.
Fenwirth moved toward her, raising his cane. As he did, however, a woman stepped in front of him, then another, and soon, there were several women between them, staring him down with narrowed eyes.
Lily,
uncertain what would happen next, leaned down to the little girl. "Go down to Ashton, Annie. Tell him Lily said to let you out of the gate. Then run home as fast as you can and tell them what Fenwirth tried to do. Go now!"
Holding her injured hand with the other, Annie raced down the stairs.
"Stop her!" he shouted. But the men ignored him. The men had also stepped in and were standing between Fenwirth and the army of women who had surrounded him. One of them had taken his cane from his hand. He glared at them with a terrible expression and raised his head. "You, all of you, will never work in this mill again—or anywhere else!" He approached Lily and stood, towering over her, as she glared back. "I remember you," he said, with an ugly sneer. "I sacked you several years ago. What are you doing back here again?"
Lily was on her feet now, standing as tall as her diminutive stature would allow. She refused to look intimidated. "Yes, you sacked me," she uttered sarcastically. "Because I had the nerve to be injured by some of your old and dangerous equipment. Instead of repairing it the way you should have, you kept it, didn't you? And you continued to expose the lives of precious children to the dangers." She turned and kicked a piece of the loom that now lay on the floor. The women were muttering at Fenwirth now, and it sounded very much like some of the mutinous sounds she'd heard aboard ship, a few months earlier. "I hope, Mr. Fenwirth, that you see my face in your worst nightmares, because I will haunt you until the day you—"
"Silence!" He raised a hand, as if to strike her, but she refused to back down. It was then, the smell of smoke caught everyone's attention. Two floors below, the shout of a male voice split that air and then a man's bellow. "Fire!"
Ashton's voice!
Fire!
Fenwirth growled to the two men who stood beside Lily, "Keep to your posts. I'll go down and investigate." Turning back and pointing at Lily, he shouted angrily, "And keep her here! No one is to move from their station!"
Conquered by the Commander (The Conquered Book 2) Page 13