by Janice Lynn
“New Year’s Day.” She blinked at the man standing right in front of her.
“Why’s that? You like making resolutions no one ever keeps?”
“And people think I’m cynical?” Smiling, she shook her head. “No.”
Besides, she tended to keep the few New Year’s resolutions she made each year. Somehow she’d bet Riley did his best to keep any resolutions he made too. He just seemed like that kind of guy.
“After New Year is when everyone takes all their Christmas decorations down and gets on with their real life, instead of wasting a month dreaming dreams about a man in a red suit bringing them their heart’s desire.”
“Ouch.” He placed his hand over his heart and took a step back as if she’d struck him a vital blow. “You’re a mean one, Miss Gr—”
She held up her hand and squinted at him. “Don’t you call me names, snowflake.” She tossed a loose piece of mistletoe at him, smiling when he easily caught it and blew her a kiss.
She puckered up and kissed the air. Electricity sizzled between them and she clung to their conversation to keep her mind away from just how much she wanted to feel his lips against hers for real. “Not liking this superficial holiday that’s a bunch of marketing hype to get people to spend money that they don’t have does not make me a bad person…or a green one.”
His lips twitched, as if he knew what she was doing, as if his lips had a few wants of their own. “Agreed, but I’d really like to know why someone who’s as sweet as you wouldn’t like the most wonderful time of year.”
“First off, whether or not Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year is a matter of opinion.” Was he moving closer or was she imagining that the distance between them was shrinking? Oh, please, let the distance be shrinking because if he didn’t kiss her soon, she might just bury herself in mistletoe and present herself to him. “Obviously,” she continued, as if her heart wasn’t pounding in her chest, as if every cell within her didn’t leap toward him, “I am not of that opinion.”
“Second?” He’d definitely moved closer. A lot closer. She could feel his body heat, could feel his breath brush across her lips, could smell his musky male scent that sent her senses into hyperdrive.
“Second…” she stared into his eyes, her lips parted, her pulse throbbing “…you don’t know me well enough to know how sweet I may or may not be.”
“I disagree.” He covered her mouth with his, moved his lips in a caress that was teasing, tasting, erotic and sensual. Hot and demanding. Everything she’d just been longing for. Him. His kiss made her feel as if someone had strung lights on her and she twinkled from the inside out.
“Oh, yeah, you’re sweet,” he whispered against her lips when he pulled back. “Sweet as candy canes and gumdrops.”
“Right,” was all she could manage, because what she really wanted was to pull his mouth back to hers. Desperately she wanted another kiss, wanted him. That terrified her. “Let’s get this tree decorated so I can go home.”
After a brief pause, in which he studied her, Riley threw his head back in laughter. “You know, princess, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you like me even less than you profess to like Christmas.”
“Good thing you know better, then, eh?” she retorted, handing him one of the new strings of lights. “Get to hanging or I’m out of here.”
Because at the moment she was having a difficult time recalling all the reasons she shouldn’t want him and needed not to trust in him.
“Yes, ma’am.” With a wicked gleam in his eyes he reached for the mistletoe and went to hold it above her head. “I’ll start with your favorite decoration.”
“No!” But she ruined her denial by having to suppress a laugh. She pointed to the tree. “Decorate.”
He gave an exaggerated sigh. “I didn’t know you were such a slavedriver.”
She gave him the sternest look she could muster when he looked so darned cute and remorseful with his mistletoe. “Like I said, there are a lot of things about me you don’t know.”
“Yet,” he clarified, with what she was quickly realizing was his usual optimism. Or was stubbornness a better label? “Don’t worry,” he continued. “I plan to know everything there is to know about you, princess.”
Lord, she hoped not. She’d come to Pensacola to escape people who knew everything there was to know about her.
“You’ll be coming to me to find yourself,” he added, his expression way too confident.
She hoped not on that too because she never wanted to let anyone that close ever again.
“Here, you save this for later.” He tucked the loose piece of mistletoe she’d tossed at him into her scrub top pocket. “Any time you get the urge, you just wave that and I’ll pucker up.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep her fingers away from the cheap plastic greenery in her pocket. “Like a red flag in front of a bull?”
He chuckled. “I hope I have a little more finesse than that.” His brow furrowed in mock concern. “I do have more finesse than a stampeding cow, right?”
She gave a little shrug. “Maybe.”
His brow rose.
“Okay,” she confessed. “A little.”
“I’ll settle for that for now, but later we’ll renegotiate your thoughts about my finesse.”
If that meant he planned to kiss her again, she should find a reason to leave, but instead she just smiled and secretly hoped that was precisely what he meant.
Prior to placing the lights on the tree, they plugged the strands in to make sure each bulb lit up. Each one shone a brilliant color, sparkling against the tiled flooring. Then she held the lights while he went back up the stepladder. They worked together to string them around the tree, starting at top and working their way down.
Every time she started to enjoy herself a little too much, she reined herself in because he made her feel a little too happy, a little too comfy, and that could only lead to heartache, right? She couldn’t deal with more heartache so it was much better to keep her defenses high.
Telling herself she really did not like the woodsy scent filling her nostrils and that she’d probably have a rash on her hands from handling the branches, Trinity frowned. “Why do you have such a big tree?”
He waggled his brows, covering the last of the branches with lights. “You know what they say about men with big Christmas trees.”
The man was a certifiable nut. She must be too because she almost giggled. So much for her defenses. “They have big trees to compensate for their wee little…minds?”
He gave her a scolding look. “I could show you my wee little mind and put that theory to rest.”
“You wish,” she teased, before thinking better of it.
He reached for the snap at his waist.
“Fine.” She didn’t bother suppressing her eye-roll but tried really hard to keep her blush in check. “Please, tell me, oh great ginormous tree owner, why is your tree so big?”
His eyes sparkled and his grin almost knocked her off her feet. “The bigger the tree, the better to light up her world.”
“Her?” He hadn’t brought anyone with him to the hospital Christmas party, had spent the evening with her, had spent the night afterwards in her bed and flirted outrageously with her. He’d better not have a “her”.
“Your world?” he corrected, looking sheepish.
“I don’t need your compensatory huge tree lighting up my world. My world is just fine the way it is.”
Even as she made the bold claim, she wondered if perhaps she did because when he clicked a button and his tree sparkled to life, she had to admit, something inside her felt better. Warmer.
Lighter.
As if the button had turned on something inside her too that had been stuck in hibernation.
“Wow,” she gasped, unable to quash her surprise. “I have to admit, that’s beautiful.”
Exactly, Riley thought, but he wasn’t looking at the tree. He couldn’t drag his eyes away from
Trinity.
She was beautiful.
He wanted to light up her world, to see a permanent sparkle in her eyes and a smile on her lips.
Too bad he didn’t have a remote control that he could click and turn her on.
To turn her on in more ways than one.
Because he was turned on.
Had been from the moment he’d first noticed her at the Christmas party. Something about her got under his skin and made his body go haywire. Big time. Was it just that instead of chasing him, like most women did, she seemed intent on keeping him at arm’s length?
“Just wait until you see it after we’ve finished decorating,” he promised. “My tree, which I refuse to label as compensatory and would still be more than happy to set the record straight once and for all, will steal your breath, guaranteed.”
“I…” She glanced away then her lips tightened. “I seriously doubt that, but I do like the lights.” She wasn’t going to touch his offer apparently. Not that he’d really expected her to. “Let’s hurry and finish.”
“So you can leave?”
She met his gaze, her lips twitching lightly, letting him know she was fighting back a smile. “So I can have some of that dessert you promised but have totally failed to deliver.”
“Touché.” He laughed.
Yes, he really liked this woman, even if she professed not to like his favorite holiday. There had to be more to her claim than just a dislike of Christmas.
A more that he wanted to know every detail of so he could prove her wrong and show her the magic of the holidays.
CHAPTER FIVE
TRINITY DIDN’T LIKE Christmas at all and doubted she ever would. But when they’d finished decorating, she did think that Riley’s Christmas tree was beautiful. Magical even.
Plus, she had concluded that she did like the woodsy pine smell filling his living room. Why had she practically gagged on the scent for the past couple of years, comparing the outdoorsy aroma to spruce-scented household cleaner?
Because she didn’t like this holiday, she reminded herself.
From childhood this holiday had only ever held bad memories. Nothing good had ever come out of Christmas. Not for her.
She’d do well to remember that.
Riley’s constant smiles and holiday good cheer made her forget that she didn’t like a single thing about the season. Still, she was doing something to help someone who had helped her. Someone she genuinely liked and who hadn’t taken advantage of her.
“Thank you.”
“For?” he asked, studying her way too intently for her comfort.
She wanted to squirm, like a kid sitting on Santa’s lap. “Last night.”
“Nothing happened last night for you to owe me any thanks for.”
Was that how he saw the night?
“Had something happened,” she admitted, “I wouldn’t have been thanking you.”
“You might have,” he teased, but when she didn’t smile, he relented. “For the record, I prefer my bed partners to be sober and just as into me as I am into them. Whether or not we were going to have sex last night was never an issue.”
“I wasn’t into you?” That she had a hard time imagining because the man made her burn from head to toe. Even now she wanted to rip his clothes off him and lick him all over. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to clear the image of her doing just that.
He shrugged. “We’ve already established that you drank a little too much.”
“Did I want you?” she said, more insistently. What was she saying? Of course she’d wanted him. She still wanted him.
“You said you did.”
“Oh.” A vague memory of her telling him he could do whatever he wanted so long as he didn’t leave her ran through her mind. Fire spread across her cheeks. she had made a complete and utter fool of herself. “I’m sorry.” She turned to go, wishing her car was in his drive so she really could escape.
“I’m not.” he turned her to face him. “I wanted you, Trinity. I’m not ashamed to say so.”
She blushed and he grinned.
“I wasn’t inebriated, except by your smile.”
“I’ve said it before but it bears repeating, you’re smooth with the lines, Riley.”
“No lines,” he said. “Just the truth.”
“Right.”
“Seriously.”
“Seriously, I want that dessert now.” Anything to get away from this conversation.
“Chicken,” he accused, apparently reading her well enough to know exactly what she was doing.
“Bok bok, Mr. Big Tree,” she replied, wondering at her sparring back and forth with him verbally when really she should be embarrassed at her out-of-character behavior.
His laugh made her feel warm inside.
“Like I said, fun girl.”
“Like I said, give me dessert.”
Trinity had expected Riley to insist on coming into her apartment when he’d followed her home, but he didn’t. He walked her to her door, kissed her forehead, saw her inside, then left without setting foot into her place.
Go figure.
Staring at the closed door, she wanted to open it, to yell to him that he could have at least kissed her good-night properly.
‘Meow.’ Casper brushed up against her leg, reminding Trinity that she’d like to be fed.
“I know. I know. I rushed off this morning without paying you much attention.” She glanced down at the solid white cat that she’d rescued from an animal shelter when she had been nothing more than a tiny pitiful-looking kitten.
Casper mewed again, staying practically beneath her feet as she walked towards her small pantry to get a can of cat food. She opened the can, put the contents into Casper’s dish and watched the cat dive in with gusto.
“You’d think you were starved,” she teased. “But I am fully aware that Riley fed you this morning while I threw on my scrubs.”
That he’d been thoughtful enough to do so had impressed her, even if she hadn’t made a big deal of him having done so. The man was thoughtful all the way round. he was just a little too good to be true.
Well, all except for the not having kissed her good-night part. That he could use some work on.
Or maybe it was her sanity that could use some work, because she shouldn’t want him to kiss her. She didn’t want a relationship, didn’t want to set herself up for another fall, like the one Chase had delivered.
“I know you aren’t starved,” she informed the cat.
Casper’s blue eyes cut to her for a brief second as if to say, So what?
Trinity laughed then jumped when her phone rang. She glanced at the number. It wasn’t one she was familiar with, but she knew who the caller was as sure as she lived and breathed. Should she answer?
Could she not?
“Did you forget something?” she said by way of greeting, because “Hello” seemed all wrong when he had just left.
“Apparently.” He sounded confused, frustrated. “I’m standing outside your front door.”
Trinity’s stomach flip-flopped. Had he ever left? Or had he just come back? Did it matter?
“The usual protocol when standing outside someone’s door is to knock, not phone.” Her heart pounding in anticipation of whatever was to come, she headed towards the front door.
“I didn’t knock because I don’t want to come in.”
Her hand paused in the process of reaching for the doorknob. “You don’t?”
Her stomach knotted. Was he playing some sick game with her? Teasing her? Toying with her emotions?
“I do, but…Trinity, tell me to go home.”
If this was his idea of a game, it was cruel and twisted. She wasn’t amused.
“Go home,” she ordered, and meant it. She’d been hurt enough in the past. She wouldn’t let someone sour her future. Not even someone who seemed as wonderful as Riley.
Then again, most of the time when something seemed too good to be true, it really was. So why was she still
on the line, waiting for him to say something? Hoping he’d say something. Something brilliant and wonderful that would make her smile instead of feeling as if her eyes were about to spring a leak.
A low laugh sounded in her ears. “That was way too easy for you, princess.”
“You have no idea,” she muttered, wondering at the silence that followed. She wanted to tear the door off its hinges and drag him inside her apartment and demand he explain himself.
Instead, she leaned her forehead against the cold metal doorframe, wishing she could see through it to the other side, wishing she knew what he was thinking, why he was standing outside her door when she was inside, why he’d called her instead of knocking.
Why was he there at all?
Why wasn’t she hanging up?
Urgh. Her head hurt with all the questions plaguing her mind.
“If I knocked, would you let me in, princess?” His voice was barely above a whisper but she heard just fine.
Her hands shook. “I guess you’ll have to knock to know the answer to that question, won’t you, snowflake?”
Taking a deep breath, he laughed again. “If you had any idea how much I want to rip through this door because I know you’re standing just the other side…” He paused, and she’d swear she felt his forehead bump against the door. Was he trying to knock some sense into his head? How was it he kept putting her thoughts into words that came from his mouth?
“As much as I want you,” he admitted, “what I want more than anything is to not mess this up.”
“Knocking on my door would mess this up?” What was “this”, she wanted to ask, but held her tongue. She doubted he knew any more than she did. That he admitted there was a “this” was monumental, had her brain undoing every wall she’d just attempted to erect between them. Didn’t he know he should leave those walls alone? She needed them.
“It might. What if you didn’t open the door?”
He had a point.
“True, but what if I did?”
Or would that be messing things up even worse?
Riley ground his forehead against the cold, hard metal of Trinity’s apartment door and prayed for the knowledge to know the right thing to do.