by Janice Lynn
Because her hand had moved from his chest to his face. The grit of sand still lingered on her fingers but his skin was smooth, perfect.
“It’s not too soon,” she whispered, knowing it was true, especially when she heard his intake of breath above the crash of the waves. “But I should warn you that if we did, you’d be disappointed.”
“Never.”
She laughed ironically at his faith. If only. “I wish that was true, but I’m not very good at…well, you know.”
“Sex?”
Staring at where her hand caressed his jaw, she nodded. “I can pretty much guarantee that you won’t want me any more once we do.”
This time it was he who laughed. “You’d be wrong.”
“Again, I wish that was true.”
“Why?”
Could she write him a thesis on all the reasons why? Things like that he made her feel good about herself? That he made her believe in things that she shouldn’t believe in? That he’d taken away the loneliness that had iced her insides for so long that she’d believed the coldness was a permanent part of who she was?
“Because I like you,” she said instead, using his usual response to sum up all the emotions bubbling inside her. “A lot.”
In the moonlight, she saw his mouth curve upwards.
“Good to know,” he admitted, taking her hand. “I was beginning to wonder if this relationship was onesided.”
“Is that what we’re doing? Having a relationship?” Not that it didn’t feel like a relationship. It did. Plus he carried on at the hospital as if they were. But, still, there was no one around but the two of them and she wanted a straight answer from him.
“If you have to ask me that, I’m doing something very wrong,” he teased, scratching his head as if trying to figure out what that something might be.
“I…I just wasn’t sure.” Which sounded quite lame at the moment, with how his eyes searched hers. Even in the moonlight she could see desire flickering in the blue depths.
“After the past two weeks you aren’t sure that I’m totally fascinated by you and want to spend every second of my time with you?”
Wow. That’s all that her brain could register. Just wow. Wow. Wow. Riley’s words seemed so foreign, so far-fetched, yet she heard his sincerity, saw the truth in the way he looked at her. He looked at her as she’d never been looked at, as if she was the most precious being on earth.
“I’m scared,” she heard herself say, knowing her words were as true as his, shocked, though, that she was admitting her fear to him. Wasn’t that exposing just how vulnerable she really was?
“Don’t be scared of me, Trinity. I’d never intentionally hurt you.”
Intentionally. Which meant she likely would be hurt at some point down the line. Her life had taught her to expect no less. But she wasn’t going to hold back, wasn’t going to let the past or fear dictate who she was. Not when it came to Riley. Was she?
At this moment she was a woman sitting on a romantic beach, touching a fantasy man who was quickly encompassing her whole world.
He wanted to be here, with her. He thought she was beautiful, he wanted her, and he didn’t mind telling her, showing her.
When he was with her she didn’t get the impression that he wanted to be anywhere except right with her. When he looked at her she didn’t get the impression that he wished she were someone else.
He wanted her.
He lifted her hand to his lips, kissed her fingertips.
“I have sand on my fingers.” And tears in her eyes. Why was she crying?
“Doesn’t matter.” He kissed the top of her hand, gently turned her arm to press his lips to her wrist, then he kissed her there. Gentle kisses where his lips lightly brushed across the tender skin, heating her blood. Brilliant kisses that made her mind go in thousands of directions, all of which involved him.
She shivered and scooted closer to him, grazed her knuckles across his clean-shaven jaw. “Smooth.”
He chuckled. “The better to kiss you without worrying about scratching you.”
“I’m not a dainty flower that easily wilts.”
“You want scratched?”
“I want kissed.”
“I’m a man who aims to please.”
When his lips covered hers, he didn’t kiss her with the gentle pressure he’d kissed her goodnight with each night. No, he kissed her with the mouth of a man who was hungry. Hungry and wanting to devour her.
As if he wanted her so much he couldn’t not kiss her that way.
The sensation was heady.
Trinity’s head spun she felt so light, so good, so unreal.
Riley was unreal.
Because no way was such a beautiful man kissing her as if he couldn’t get enough, as if he wanted, no, needed, everything she could give him.
She wanted to give him everything.
But if she did, would it be the beginning of the end, the way it had been with Chase?
Would Riley find her so lacking between the sheets that he wouldn’t want her any more and would wonder why he’d ever thought he had thought her something special?
Or did sex even matter that much to him?
His mouth moved lower, to her neck, trailing hot kisses, making love to her skin.
Um, yeah, this was a man who cared about sex. No doubt about it.
Which meant she was in big trouble.
CHAPTER NINE
RILEY FELT THE difference in Trinity’s response and pulled back. “You okay? Am I coming on too strong? I didn’t mean to move too fast.”
He’d known better than to rush things, but he’d thought…No matter what he’d thought. The reality was they’d only known each other for two weeks and he had moved too fast. She was scooting away from him, standing, brushing the sand off her clothes, and was a million miles away from him.
“You’re fine.”
Fine? Not the adjective he wanted to be called when he was on fire for her and had just been kissing her with a great amount of gusto.
Mindless kisses that had been all about feeling and emotion and had had little to do with thought or intentions.
“The wind just felt a little chilly. That’s all. I want to finish our walk now.”
Just what every man wanted to hear when he was on the verge of making love to a woman he was crazy about. When he’d been overcome with passion and she’d…she’d decided she wanted to finish their walk. Oh, yeah, he’d pushed too soon. Only had he really? She’d wanted him, too. Had he done something wrong? Or was she playing games with him?
“Okay, we’ll walk.” He stood, brushed his clothes off, and took her hand.
He wasn’t sure she wanted him holding her hand either, but he wasn’t going to let her shut him out after the kiss they’d just shared.
She’d told him she was scared. Was that why she’d pulled away?
She’d also told him that she wasn’t very good at sex.
Based on how she kissed him, he’d say she couldn’t be more wrong.
But maybe she really believed otherwise. He was reaching, but there had to be some reason why she was now lost in thought instead of in his arms, and he sure didn’t want to believe it was that she was a tease. The vulnerability he sensed within her assured him that wasn’t the case.
“You’re a very good kisser.”
Her head jerked toward him.
“An amazing kisser,” he added, seeing the doubt in her eyes. Hell, someone had really done a number on her.
“You’re the one who’s a great kisser.” She shrugged as if it was no big deal, but he could see that his praise pleased her. “I just follow your lead.”
“Thanks for saying so, but you don’t give yourself enough credit. You drive me wild, Trinity.”
She gave him a weak smile and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” As much as his body urged him to pick up where they’d left off, to take her in his arms and kiss her until she was breathless and begging
for the release he craved, he just clasped her hand in his and walked.
Patience might not be his virtue, but some things were worth the wait. He had no doubt that when he and Trinity made love, and they would make love, the wait would be worth having the patience of Job.
How could her schedule have been changed? No one ever wanted to work on Christmas, so surely she wouldn’t have been randomly taken off the schedule?
She stared at the holiday work schedule. Her name was not on the twenty-fifth anywhere. Christmas Eve, yes, but not the big awful day itself.
She had been on that list. How had her name been taken off?
“What are you looking at?” Karen asked, stepping up behind Trinity and looking over her shoulder to see what had her so captivated.
“There was a message in my inbox about last-minute holiday schedule changes and for everyone to recheck the hours they’d be working.”
“Yeah, I saw that.”
“I’m no longer scheduled for Christmas Day.”
“Lucky girl.”
“Not lucky girl.” Because if she wasn’t working, she had to go with Riley to his family dinner. Not that there wasn’t a teeny tiny part of her that wanted to go, to meet the people he spoke of with such love, but the thought of a Christmas Day dinner was too much. Plus she’d have to buy them presents. Not that she was such a tightwad that she minded spending the money, but what the heck would she buy people she’d never met and who were from such a different social background from her own?
“You sound as if having Christmas Day off is a bad thing.” Karen grinned at her. “Enjoy yourself, spend some time with family.”
Time with family? Ha. Her only family had been her mother and she’d died several years ago from liver problems.
But Riley’s family?
“Or that good-looking man you’re dating. Now, there’s a way to spend Christmas Day. Unwrapping really great packages.” Karen waggled her brows.
Panic tightened Trinity’s throat. She glanced at the schedule again. “You’re supposed to work. Let me take your place.”
Karen looked at her as if she was crazy. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I moved here from out of state, remember? I don’t have any family. I’ll be by myself if I’m not working. I should work and you go enjoy your day with your family.”
Karen shook her head. “No way. Pay for Christmas Day is always double time and I need the extra money. I’d put in to work and was glad for the schedule change as I’m helping put my kid sister through school. Besides, I seriously doubt Dr. Williams is going to let you spend Christmas Day alone.”
Okay, so convincing Karen to swap with her wasn’t going to work. Maybe one of the other cardiac nurses would swap with her.
No such luck.
Trinity couldn’t work out why not a single one of the nurses scheduled to work on Christmas Day preferred to have the holiday itself off. Not a single one of them was willing to let her work instead of them. Unbelievable.
What was up with this hospital anyway? Didn’t they have any Christmas spirit? They were supposed to want to be at home, to be with their families, to…not be like her.
Annoyed at herself, she went into a patient room and forced a smile onto her face for Jewel’s benefit.
“Not working.”
“Huh?” she asked, confused by her patient’s immediate comment. “What’s not working?”
“That fake smile.” Jewel pursed her lips. “I take it you still haven’t found that pair of glass slippers?”
“If you recall our conversation, you’ll remember that I don’t want glass slippers. Way too impractical for a practical girl like me.”
Jewel snorted. “You can talk big all you want, but when I look at you I see the truth.”
Scary thought, but somehow she believed Jewel really did see more when she looked than most people did. As if age had given her insight beyond the surface.
“What truth would that be?”
“That you’re a romantic through and through.”
Trinity made a face then put her hand across Jewel’s wrinkled forehead as if taking her skin temperature. “Uh-oh. I think we’d better call your doctor because you’re delirious.”
“And you, my dearie, aren’t fooling this old gal. You crave romance.”
Wondering at why she sounded as out of breath as her patient, Trinity shook her head. “Wrong. Pink hightops were my dream shoes, not glass slippers. I run from romance.”
Riley paused outside Jewel’s door, fascinated by the conversation he was overhearing. Perhaps he should feel guilty for eavesdropping, but he didn’t. He needed an edge with Trinity, something to push him in the right direction where she was concerned, because she confused him.
And frustrated him.
Since the night on the beach she’d gone right back behind her wall, and had also erected a barrier between them. A new barrier because he wasn’t convinced there had ever been a point where she hadn’t had a protective wall between them.
Except perhaps for a few moments there on the beach when she’d been touching his face. When she’d looked at him, touched him, she’d been unguarded.
He’d liked what he’d seen, what he’d felt. A lot.
He wanted that woman, that unguarded Trinity, all the time.
The one he knew was buried within her who claimed to not like Christmas, to not believe in the magic of the season. He wanted to see her laugh as she had in the surf, to let herself loose with him and just embrace life.
Not for her to beg every nurse on the schedule to let her work for them on Christmas Day so she could get out of spending the day with him.
That had almost had him losing his temper. Even now the idea that she’d do that got his hackles up. Then again, perhaps he couldn’t say a thing because he’d already ensured none of them would swap with her, and without bribery.
Just because Trinity claimed not to be a romantic, it didn’t mean the other nurses on the cardiac floor were immune to romance. When he’d told them he’d planned a Christmas surprise for Trinity, they’d all oohed and ahhed. Yeah, the other cardiac nurses were as much suckers for romance as…as he was.
Because he wanted to give Trinity romance and lots of it. He wanted to show her what Christmas was all about.
“Why on earth would you run from romance? Especially in a pair of pink hightops?” Jewel sounded as confused by Trinity’s claim as Riley himself was.
“Because romance is all about building up expectations and making promises that won’t come true, not in the real world, so of course I run.”
That’s exactly how she described Christmas.
“Honey, like I said before—” Riley could just see Jewel’s head bobbing back and forth “—you’ve been hanging out with the wrong Prince Charming.”
Riley frowned.
She’d been hanging out with him.
Was he the wrong Prince Charming for Trinity?
For that matter, did he even want to be a Prince Charming? It wasn’t a role he’d ever envisioned for himself. He worked long hours, was dedicated to his career and would never want to do to a wife and family what his father had.
He wasn’t looking for happily-ever-after, but there was something about filling Trinity’s world with goodness and dreams come true that made him long for the ability to wave a magic wand and give her the world, to slip that glass slipper on her foot and be her Prince Charming.
“I like the man I’ve been hanging with. He’s a great guy.”
Riley’s chest puffed out a bit at her admission. Oh, yeah. That was him she was talking about. She liked him and thought he was a great guy.
“If he’s such a great guy, where’s the glass slippers on your feet and the dreamy look in your eyes?”
Leave it to Jewel to point out the harsh reality.
Trinity laughed, the sound sparkly and warming something inside Riley.
He wanted to make her laugh that way.
“He tries, Jewel,
he really, really tries, but I’m damaged goods.”
“Damaged goods?”
“Lots of baggage. Plus, Christmas isn’t my favorite time of year.”
“Not a crime, but why not?”
“Long, long story, but the most recent installment would be that my boyfriend dumped me quite publicly a couple of years ago at our hospital Christmas party. I wasn’t much on the holiday prior to that, but gave up completely at that point. Nothing merry about a day that only reminds you of bad memories.”
“Sounds to me like I was right. You have been dating the wrong Prince Charming.” Jewel made a sound that could have been her clearing her throat or could have been her faking a gag. “Let’s hope this current guy you say you like has more sense.”
“Let’s hope.”
Trinity’s voice held a dreamy quality that could only be defined as real hope. She hoped he had enough sense to be her Prince Charming? Was that it? Was he not giving her enough romance? He hadn’t really tried to be romantic, just himself. Although most men would say that cooking a candlelit dinner for her should have won him more than a few romance brownie points. He’d done more for her than he’d ever done for any woman. Was it not enough?
Still, she’d given him food for thought.
He’d planned to go in, check Jewel and see if sending her home for the holidays was a remote possibility.
Instead, he walked away from the room wondering what one had to do to be Trinity’s Prince Charming? Her right Prince Charming?
And wondering why making sure he did just that was so important when he wasn’t a happily-ever-after kind of guy.
Christmas Eve. Only a few more days of this nonsense and then the world would be focused on out with the old and in with the new and how many resolutions could everyone make that they didn’t really intend to keep.
Trinity could barely wait.
Sure, so far she’d made it through the holiday season with a lot fewer tears than last year.
Actually, she hadn’t cried much at all, and she knew why.
Riley.
Since the Christmas party they’d been together pretty much non-stop and she hadn’t had time to dwell on Christmases past.
Just Christmas present.
No way would she even consider Christmas future. She had to make it through the rest of the current holiday season first.