by Emma
and looked at Emma.
'It looks like the usual problem,' he tried to reassure me.
'I'll give her an injection and if you can get some glucose and
water down her, that will do her good. Ah, I'm glad to see
you've given her a hot-water bottle,' he said, as he dispensed
some tablets into a packet. 'There we are, give her those as
well. If she's no better, ring me. Otherwise, I'll pop in
tomorrow.'
His light and breezy assurance gave me a little hope and i
clung to it like a limpet. Before i had time to lapse into
despair Harold and Betty arrived bringing a breath of warm,
friendly Yorkshire air with them. It was good to have lots of
people round me. It was reassuring. i tried desperately to
keep myself busy instead ofjust s i tting in the lounge looking
at Emma, and hoping. i think I cooked dinner, but i don't
remember. And i certainly don't remember eating it, or
what happened to all the baking I'd done the day before. But
every few minutes I went to see Emma, to make sure that she
was comfortable, to refill her hot-water bottle, to give her
another drink. i stood in the kitchen thinking, The next time
i go into the lounge and touch her she'll wag her tall, she'll
open her eyes. But she didn't. It seemed to me that instead of
i47
moving about as i normally did, i was crawling from room to
room, that it was difficult to get everything done. i felt as if
there were sacks and sacks of weights on my back and i
couldn't get rid of them. As the day went on everyone around
me was trying to keep cheerful, trying to keep me occupied,
but i felt cut ofY, sealed in a darkness of my own and
everything that was going on around me wasn't real. The
only realitv was Emma and i.
Harold and Betty took their leave at about four o'clock
and, when they'd gone, there seemed nothing else to do. We
all sat in the lounge quietly, watching, waiting. Don
suddenly got up from his chair and knelt down beside
Emma.
'She's gone,' he said.
i didn't believe him. It couldn't be true. i don't know how
long i sat on the floor with Emma's head in my hands.
i realize that I'm looking for another Emma in every dog we
have. In every chocolate Labrador i meet i look to see if it
resembles Emma, but I've never met one yet who does. In
my own dogs i watch and hope that they'll do something the
same as Emma used to do. Perhaps there is a little of Emma
in all of the Labradors i have, but not one of them is a patch
on the dog she was. You only ever meet a dog like Emma
once in a lifetime and that's if you're really lucky. It's
difficult to admit, even to myself, that Emma is no longer
here. It's much easier to pretend that she's somewhere'
around. If I'm in the dining room, then Emma is curled up in
the hall fast asleep. If I'm in the hall, then she's in the lounge.
It's much easier to accept daily life that way. i know I'm
burying my head in the sand, but that's much easier than
facing up to the truth.
She enabled me to live as normal a life as any blind person
could, and was always eager to do herjob for me as guide. As
soon as i took her white harness from the peg in the hall, i
would hear her dancing by the door with sheer excitement.
She loved every moment of her work. From the day i met
Emma, on 3rd July i966, she took hold of my life and
i48
i
changed it completely and utterly. She retired in i975 at the
age of eleven, when my eye operation was successful, and
went on to enjoy six years of retirement. I can't bear to think
what would have happened to me if i hadn't met Emma, for
never has one human being owed so much to a dog.
i49
i
i
EPII,OGUE
W E ~~, R E A i, L still here at Stapleford, not having succ(,ssf'tllly
fouii(l our kennels yet, but i know in my heart that \-c ss-ill
find t hem because everything comes to those who wal t and i
have a ver.~ wonderful philosophy on life. I believe (~.trythin,
g happens for the best, so i'ni sure something ~.,~otild
have gone wrong if we'd have been able to take up of
those other residences and the place of our dreams is still
waiting, as yet undiscovered by us. My daily life continues
and, despite the loss of Shadow and Emma, i am grateful for
the f~ict that i have Bracken, Buttons, Mocha and 'i'cak to
love and care for. Of course, no one will ever replace Emma
but i know there'll be dogs to love in the future and i have
the consolation of knowing that the I] ttle chocolate i,abrador
pupp~, from Buttons and Bracken successfully completed her
training and is now guiding a blind person. It's a very li(.artwarrrilng
feeling to know that somewhere there's another
little Emma.