Haeven

by S. M. Bowles

  She tucked several of the boxes closed and helped me gather them up. We carried them to the bedroom and following Penny's lead I reluctantly began hanging everything up or placing them on the shelves in the closet. Afterwards we rifled through each article and Penny asked me what, if anything had caught my eye.

  I frowned, "I don't really wear dresses."

  "Hmm," Penny studied me closely, "are you sure, because you really look like a dress kind of girl?"

  I shook my head, "No, not at all."

  "But you're so pretty, so...so feminine."

  I started to feel very uncomfortable.

  "Would you like me to choose?"

  "Sure." I mumbled.

  Penny went into the closet and came out a minute or so later holding a navy blue sundress with white polka dots and a pair of sandals that she said would look nice with it.

  "What do you think?"

  I shrugged.

  "Maybe you'll get a better idea of how well you like them once they're on," Penny touched my shoulder encouragingly and left the room.

  I carefully took Herrik's shirt off and hung it in the closet. A few moments later I slid the dress over my head. I couldn't reach the zipper and called to Penny for help. When she came in she smiled with delight, "Oh, it's perfect. Look at you," she deftly zipped it up and shuffled me towards the closet so I could see my reflection.

  I smiled despite the uneasiness I felt and tilted my head wonderingly, "I guess it will do."

  "Try the shoes," Penny suggested.

  I slipped them on and made a few paces back and forth in front of the mirror.

  "Very nice," Penny assured me, "very, very nice. Would you like to do anything with your hair? I could braid it for you if you like."

  "No," I said a bit too harshly. I knew she was just being nice but my defenses suddenly went back on the alert. I softened my tone, "No thank you, Penny."

  "Well, there's a comb and a brush and some other toiletries in the bathroom for you. I'll wait for you in the kitchen and when you're done Herrik asked me to bring you to him."

  I spent several minutes brushing my teeth and combing my hair. When I was done I felt a little self-conscious pang for the way I was acting. I found Penny in the kitchen, "Penny," my voice apologetic, "I think I've changed my mind, would you try and do something with my hair for me?"

  She just smiled and stood up. Penny brought me to my bedroom and had me sit at the vanity. She left the room and came back with the brush, the comb and some other odds and ends like barrettes and hair ties then got to work. She pulled all but a handful of my hair back and fastened it with one of the ties. Afterwards she gathered up the loose hair and braided it pulling it up and across my head to the opposite side where she clipped it into place.

  Then Penny began working on the ponytail she had first gathered at the back of my head. She sectioned it off and made a number of little mini-buns pinning them all securely just above my neckline. When she was done she gently ran her hands all over her work to make sure it would hold then just to be safe spritzed it with a dash of hairspray.

  "There," she handed me a small mirror and adjusted it so I could see all that she had done.

  I was beaming, "Wow!" I said. "It looks amazing! How did you do that?" I asked as I studied the back of my head.

  Penny shrugged and batted her eyes modestly, "I wanted to be a hairdresser when I was younger and I practiced a lot...a lot...on my dolls, my sister, even my mother when she would let me," I thought I saw a twinge of pain in her eyes when she mentioned her mother and I wondered if I should ask about it.

  I didn't have to though, "They're gone," Penny softly stated, "they're all gone." For a moment I thought she might cry and I reached out to comfort her. Before I could touch her, though, she abruptly stood up, "Well, let's get you to Herrik!" and there was no trace of the sorrow or regret I thought I saw. "He is so anxious to see you and to show you all there is to see."

  Penny and I rode the elevator back down to the lower levels. We didn't talk much the entire time we were in the car or as we walked down the hallway past the theater, gaming room and offices. She seemed lost in her own thoughts even though she glanced at me from time to time and smiled her vibrant smile. I tried not think about her family and what may have happened to them and though I desperately wanted to ask I felt incapable of bringing any of my questions up.

  When we passed the indoor garden and drew nearer to Herrik's door I began to get a little nervous. Penny must have noticed because she casually took my hand and gave it a light squeeze before we reached the final turn.

  Avery was standing in front of the door just as he was the previous day and without question or hesitation opened it when he saw us approaching. He smiled shyly at Penny and said hello to her first then looked at me and gave me a slight bow of welcome. We passed on through and were both immediately greeted by Herrik as he stepped towards us expectantly.

  Something lurched inside me and I felt my breakfast fighting to come back up and the room started swimming before my eyes. Then I fell to the floor and everything seemed to be happening from very far away; Penny's scream, Herrik's voice, the feel of his hands as he urged me to sitting.

  "Emily," he carefully lifted me up and laid me on the chaise. Then he took my hands in his, "Emily," he called his fingers running back and forth across my wrist. "This is no good," he said more to himself than anyone else. "Penny, bring me some water."

  She hurried off but quickly returned and handed him a glass.

  "Don't watch," Herrik's voice was flat and emotionless.

  Penny turned away entranced and when she did Herrik punctured his wrist and held it over the glass to catch a number of the droplets that wept out. He knelt down and urged my mouth open with one hand then forced me to take a sip.

  "Emily! Can you hear me?" He laid his fingertips on my temples and whispered something to me.

  I didn't hear it though, there was something...I saw something...was picturing it in my mind. He was there, at my house...I needed to see more.

  "No," I whispered. "He knows...He knows I'm gone...He's looking for something."

  Herrik frowned then realizing what was happening, "What? What is it, Emily? What is he looking for?"

  Room to room he went and it was like I was seeing through his eyes. Evan's room was empty and mine as well. He searched them both but did not find whatever it was he was after. His hand was on the knob, opening my parent's door. He stepped into their room and noiselessly approached their bed. I saw his fingers easing the covers back.

  "No!" I cried out and sat upright my hands covering my mouth.

  Tears started streaming down my cheeks, my heart was bursting with sorrow, my temples throbbing with pain.

  "Oh, no, no!" I don't know how but I sensed that Herrik was somehow sifting through my thoughts and saw all that I had seen.

  "Penny get Avery," she shook her head as though she were just waking from a dream then hurried for the door. Avery almost instantly appeared as Penny ran back in behind him. "Get Carah, go to Emily's. Something's happened – find out what and get back here as soon as you know!" Herrik commanded.

  Avery vanished.

  Penny approached us and reached out to comfort me as I sat there sobbing into my hands. She looked up at Herrik, "What can I do?" she asked.

  Herrik just shook his head, "Get your things, whatever you need to stay the night. When she's feeling better I'll bring her to her rooms. Meet me there."

  "Of course," she stroked my hair, turned and made her way to the door.

  Herrik took a seat beside me on the chaise. The minutes ticked by as he whispered words of comfort and encouragement to me. When I could finally bear to hold myself up I looked in his eyes questioningly.

  "I don't know," he said. "Nothing like this has ever happened before," his voice apologetic. "I have to ask you something, Emily. How much was it, Emily? Do you remember how much you gave Daemon and how much he...?”

  "Oh, God..." I wailed again and for
a number of minutes I couldn't answer. I was so consumed by the memory of helping Daemon and tormented by the images I had just seen.

  "Ssh...there, there, Emily...it's OK...I know you are worried about your family but listen Emily," Herrik pulled back and looked me in the eyes, his hand on my cheek, "these things...these things that we see are not always true. It could have been something that happened or is going to happen or even just something that may happen but will not. You mustn't think the worst until we know for sure," he insisted. "Carah and Avery have gone to look; to see that they are safe and I will know...I will know just as soon as they know."

  I sniffled and nodded.

  "Can you tell me Emily...Was it Daemon that you saw? Tell me what you remember." Then with a touch of anger, "How could he have been so reckless?! What did Daemon do to you?!"

  He was so upset and I was so scared. I wanted to tell him everything he wanted to know. It seemed terribly important for Herrik to understand. I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts while he waited patiently, quietly.

  "I...I don't know if it was Daemon. I didn't see his face. It was...it was like I was looking through someone else's eyes.

  "It's OK, Emily. I understand. Why don't you tell me about Daemon instead? I need to know, Emily. I need to know whatever you can tell me about what he did to you. Do you remember?"

  "We were in the crawlspace," I began. "I...I laid my head on his shoulder then I felt him...and everything just sort of...stopped. I couldn't hear anything or feel anything only my heartbeat and Daemon's, too. He was so strong! I felt like I was being turned inside out. And I remember thinking that I was dying. I was so scared and I just...I just wanted him to stop," I shuddered.

  "I thought it was over. He let me go but then suddenly...he was holding me and it felt so cold! His blood," I shuddered at the realization, "his blood..." I moaned out loud perhaps fully understanding for the first time what I had done. "Oh, God!" I lowered my voice shamefully, "It tasted so cold at first, like ice, and I could feel it weaving its way through my body and the faster it went the warmer I got. I...started to like it and I wanted it, wanted more, I wanted it to go on and on forever. I never wanted it to end."

  "Did your heart ever stop, Emily? Do you know? Do you remember?"

  I shook my head, "I'm sorry," I cried, "I'm sorry," over and over again.

  "Don't be sorry, Emily...you don't remember...it's not your fault...none of this is your fault. You...you were just trying to do the right thing. You were trying to help someone you thought was in trouble and that is always the right thing to do. Always!"

  Herrik went rigid, "They're there."

  "Oh," I watched his face, looked for changes in his expression hoping to know as soon as he knew.

  Herrik took one of my hands and held it tight. A minute passed, two, three. I thought I saw a hint of a smile. "Your parents are fine. They're sleeping. Carah said your brother is not there. He's at a friend's; it's too hard for him to be home right now. He misses you."

  "Carah is going to help them, make it a little easier for them to bear."

  "Avery is searching outside...he thinks someone is there or has been there. I'll have them stay; once we know they're safe I'll have them stay and I will send others to watch over them."

  "I have to go to them!" I jumped up, "I...have...to...go..." I swooned dizzily, I couldn't hold myself up and fell back against Herrik. I closed my eyes and ground my teeth against the pain in my temples.

  "Emily?" Herrik sounded alarmed. "Emily?"

  I couldn't answer my head was throbbing so badly and there was so much tension in my heart. I knew I needed to get home though so I could see for myself that my family was alright. I tried standing again but Herrik forcibly kept me seated.

  "You can't go, Emily. You need to rest. You're not well enough yet."

  "I'm fine!" I tried to wrench myself free. "I have to! I have to!"

  Herrik's voice suddenly changed from concerned sympathy to willful and insistent. "And what do you imagine will happen to you and your family if you do?"

  The whirlwind of thoughts swimming around in my mind stopped and I seized on the idea.

  "Someone is looking for you, Emily, and I am sure that whoever it is you do not want them to find you!"

  I couldn't think of a single argument to contradict him. "What are you saying?" I demanded. Herrik just looked shamefully away. "You promised," I sniffled. "One day you said. You said you would help me and I could go home."

  "I'm sorry."

  The ache behind my eyes intensified.

  Herrik took my hands, "But I will help you," he whispered, "if you'll let me."

  Suddenly it felt like the world had fallen away and I was no longer sitting on the chaise in Herrik's rooms full of worry. I was at the ocean and the sun was setting. I could hear the waves lapping the shore and the faint cry of the gulls as they made their way to their roosts. The horizon was a vibrant orange at first that slowly faded to a bright peach and finally it disappeared into the dusky light of early evening.

  I was walking and Herrik was beside me holding my hand. My feet were bare and I could feel the sand creeping between my toes with each step I took. There was a soft breeze and I felt it picking at the loose tendrils of hair that had escaped Penny's handiwork. I looked and smiled up at him marveling at the sensation. He started speaking.

  "When I was young, a bit younger than you are now, my family and I lived near here," he waved his arm to all that we could see. "It was one of the happiest places I can remember. We lived so close that in the summertime when my parents were working my brother and I would ride our bikes and spend entire days combing the beach and diving under the waves. If it was the weekend and the weather was nice enough my mother and father would join us. They would pack enough food and drinks for an army and we would all enjoy it together."

  "This is the place that I have always missed most," he turned to face me. "But I know I can never go back. I can never see it this way again. I, we, everyone here has had to make a similar sacrifice. Some have been harder than others and some far worse. I am afraid for you Emily. I think I may have to ask you to do the same."

  "No," I sobbed. "Please, no!"

  "Emily, after what has happened today I don't think I have any choice. I just can't let you go home. I'm not sure what happened to you and until I do I think it would be safest for you and your family if you were to stay."

  "I don't want to stay!"

  "I know," he bowed his head regretfully.

  "You can't keep me here!"

  "I must."

  The sights and sounds of the ocean faded. I blinked several times and found myself back on the chaise with Herrik kneeling down in front of me. I thought I could see tears in his eyes as he studied me.

  "I'm sorry," he whispered.

  Though the pain in my head was gone the ache in my chest intensified, "Please?" I begged but Herrik just looked away and shook his head no.

  Chapter 4

  I stood up full of anger and frustration and ran from the room. By the time I made it to the front door and tried the handle Herrik was already there.

  "It doesn't have to be this way," he laid his hand over mine as I tried to tug the door open. "Please let go." Herrik implored.

  My lips trembled and I fought back the angry tears in my eyes. I loosened my grip. There was nothing I could say, no argument I could make.

  "Let me take you back to your apartment. Penny is waiting for you. She's very worried," he sighed

  "I don't care!"

  "I know you don't mean that," Herrik stepped back and held the door for me.

  "You don't know anything about me!" Herrik was growing agitated, I could see it clearly but rather than confronting my anger he just smiled oddly at me. I couldn't imagine what he found so humorous in my declaration. I started walking again. Then, "Oh!" I stopped in my tracks. My mind went blank and I felt an odd vibration behind my eyes. I likened it to someone shuffling cards or scanning through a book by runni
ng their thumb across the pages and rippling them one against the other.

  "I know everything I need to know," he said.

  I was horrified. My mouth fell open and some words stuttered across my tongue but they wouldn't come out. On top of everything else that had happened it was an unbearable affront. "Did you just..." then something in my mind seemed to snap and I viciously turned to face him, "Then you know exactly how much I hate you and everything about you!"

  Herrik just stood there for a long drawn out moment. Eventually he took a deep breath, "Yes, I believe I do," he said in a voice filled with regret. He took several steps and without looking back waited patiently until I reluctantly began to follow.

  He walked slowly and I matched every stride he took. My anger was beginning to abate and I slowly began to realize what I had done and to whom I had done it. I thought about all the repercussions and consequences and was suddenly afraid for the harm I could have caused myself. I felt like a caged animal as I looked nervously around and Herrik led me towards the elevators.

  There were quite a few people, more than I had yet seen, walking along the hallway or standing in the doorways of the various rooms we passed. Everyone who saw us smiled and nodded to Herrik saying hello or offering him some other greeting as we walked past. No one spoke to me but they didn't ignore me either. I felt every curious look as they openly examined me from wherever they stood.

  Just as we arrived at the elevator the doors swung open and someone hurriedly stepped off. He seemed anxious and tense but despite his unease he struck me as someone of distinction. He was older than any of the others I had seen so far and looked to be in his 70's or so. His demeanor, though, was full of youth and vigor and he had the strangest eyes I had ever seen. They were milky-blue like a blind persons but they full of light and life and he seemed to see quite well. As soon as he saw us his nervousness left him. He came out of the elevator with both his hands extended to greet Herrik.