by S. M. Bowles
Herrik was just as surprised as I was by the warm reception to our obvious escapades. He said good morning to Penny then came and stood behind me putting his hands on my shoulders. He kissed my cheek as if to confirm all of Penny’s suspicions. I laid one of my hands over his, “Would you like to stay or do you need to get home?” I asked.
“Artur is waiting for me, sorry.”
“Next time.”
“Next time,” then he bent and whispered in my ear, “I love you. Come whenever you can. Artur would like to speak with you, too.” I nodded and offered to walk him to the door but Herrik insisted he let himself out. I said goodbye then turned to face Penny.
“So how long has this been going on?” she asked.
“Oh, Penny! Please don’t tease me!”
“Tease you? No, I’m happy for you! Thrilled for you…for you both!”
“I don’t want anyone to know. Please don’t say anything to anyone.”
Penny frowned, “Now who would I say anything to and even if I did have someone to tell who wouldn’t rejoice at the idea of you and Herrik together? I’m sure everyone would be just as excited to know that you both have found some happiness after all that you’ve been through.”
“It’s too soon,” I insisted. “This was the first time…second…our first night together…”
“Twice in one night?! My you are a little minx!”
“Penny!” I was aghast and buried my face in my hands.
“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I couldn’t resist. Besides, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, especially knowing the way you two feel about one another.”
“Good Lord! Am I the only one that didn’t know?” I started walking towards the kitchen.
“Probably, yes. We’ve all suspected.”
“Well, it’s complicated and I would rather not share it with anyone until it’s absolutely necessary.”
“I understand,” Penny went to the fridge and gave me a rundown of what she thought I might like to eat.
I knew she had dozens of questions that she wanted to ask but thankfully she honored my wishes and didn’t press me to answer any of them. I carefully evaded any topics that might force me to mention Herrik and knew that she was thoroughly dissatisfied with what she had learned by the time breakfast was over.
“Herrik said that Artur needed to see me,” I told her once we had cleaned up. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back but I’ll try to send Avery if it looks like it will go beyond lunchtime. Is there anything you need before I go?”
“Just this,” she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight, “I’m so happy for you,” she wiped a few tears from her eyes.
“Thank you, Penny. Thank you for…for everything.”
I was edgy during the walk to Herrik’s apartment; I couldn’t help wondering how I would need to act in front of Artur and Avery, too, if he happened to be there.
“No, I’m right here.”
“Avery!” I must have been too keyed up to keep my thoughts concealed.
“Herrik sent me. Just to be safe,” he quickly added. “And speaking of safe…just a friendly reminder…”
“I know,” I tucked my thoughts away, “I’ll be more careful. Have you been to Herrik’s yet?”
“No, I’ve been waiting for you.”
Avery matched my stride. He walked beside me with his hands clutched behind his back as though he was in some silent contemplation with himself.
“Is everything alright?”
“Hmm,” he mumbled, “yes. Fine. I…” he frowned, “I know we haven’t always…”
I shook my head, “Please, you don’t have to…”
“I do. I’ve misjudged you. More than once. Last night…you stayed so calm…you were so strong…so strong for him…for Herrik. Besides Artur there is no other person I admire more.”
“Not even Penny?”
Avery stopped in his tracks.
“Oh, my! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that,” I reached out and touched his arm.
“It’s OK. There are some things our blood just can’t hide. That is between you and I though, and only you and I.”
“You can take it away if you like,” I opened my mind up for him.
“No. I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again.
We were nearing the pond and when we got to the water’s edge Avery stopped me, “I wasn’t supposed to be there. I don’t know why I went, why I followed you. Curiosity? Jealously? I watched the two of you go and couldn't help wishing and imagining that it was me and Penny. I could never be the kind of man Herrik is though. She would never love me the way you love Herrik.”
I shook my head, “You don’t know that.”
“I do. Women like you and like Penny do not love men like me. You love men like Herrik and…” Avery paused as though he was about to say something and thought better of it, “that’s just the way it is.”
“Daemon,” I don’t know why but his name popped into my head and I couldn’t shake the idea that Avery believed that Penny was in love with Herrik’s son. The more I considered it the more likely it seemed. If they were openly lovers that would explain why Herrik was so determined to spare her all those years ago at Jesse’s judgment. He might have done it for Daemon’s sake and not for mine. And Herrik would have had intimate knowledge of Penny and the kind of person she was. He wouldn’t have trusted her to look after me if he didn’t.
“I didn’t mean to tell you so much. Actually, none of this is what I wanted to talk about.”
“Oh,” I was puzzled by the sudden change in Avery’s tone and expression.
“I think you were right. I think...” Avery took a deep breath and lowered his voice, “I think Carah tried to kill Herrik.”
“I…I…” I was in shock and couldn’t imagine why Avery would suspect Carah just as much as I did.
“Herrik is waiting for us. But you…you and I we need to talk…soon.”
“Yes! Yes!” I nodded enthusiastically.
“Herrik will be busy with Artur all day. I’m sure of it. Send Penny out for something…food, clothes, whatever you can think of that will buy us the most time and I will come by as soon as Herrik can spare me.”
I readily agreed to what he was suggesting. He gave me a brief moment to collect myself so I wouldn’t arouse Herrik’s suspicion if I walked in looking as agitated and on edge as I was. A minute or two later Avery led me through the door to Herrik’s apartment where we found him, Carah and Artur all anxiously awaiting our arrival.
Chapter 15
Herrik immediately stood up and came to me, “Good. You’re here!” he took my hands and kissed my cheeks.
I was completely flustered. I wasn’t expecting him to be so openly affectionate in front of everyone, especially Carah knowing how distasteful it must have been for her to see Herrik with me. I looked confusedly from one to the next to the next as Herrik led me to the chaise and sat down beside me. Artur gave me a warm encouraging smile, Avery seemed utterly indifferent and Carah…I couldn’t put a finger on it.
“Smug?” I asked myself. Carah seemed oddly pleased with the fact that Herrik wanted everyone to know exactly where I stood in his eyes.
“Well, you are all aware of why you are here so I won’t go over it again. What we need to do now is try to find out who and why. Emily, you and Avery were the only ones who might have seen anything other than myself. If you’re both willing I would like to share your perspectives with you.”
“Of course,” Avery nodded. He stood up and took Herrik’s hand.
Carah and Artur stood up as well. Artur clasped Avery’s hand on one side and Carah’s on the other while Herrik grasped mine. Carah stood to my right and stretched her fingers towards me to complete the circle. I tried to hide the revolt I felt from having to touch her then cautiously took her hand in mine. I felt dizzy at first, so many images were happening all at once and
I think there may have been some small part of me that reflexively resisted sharing my thoughts with the others. Herrik was there, though, and feeling his reassuring presence allowed me to relax enough to open up my mind to him and the rest of the group.
He carefully obscured my most recent and prominent memories and avoided all the personal sentiments that were at the forefront of my mind then searched for the moment just after we left the theater. We were walking and talking, slowly making our way to the car. The scene changed slightly and it was a new and odd perspective, a rooftop perhaps. That must have been Avery’s view. He was too far away to see anything in any great detail. Then I saw myself running away and knew that was from Herrik’s perspective. When he forced me to face him it switched again and I realized that it was my eyes everyone was seeing through.
“Huh!” I sucked in my breath, “How did I not notice that? It must have been when Herrik tried to convince me that it was time for me to go home. I wasn’t thinking clearly and then he fell and I…I…saw him running away. Not the gunman, I didn’t recognize him and he was dead anyway – Avery had made sure of that.”
“Jesse,” Herrik nodded and slowly withdrew from all of our thoughts.
“Well, that explains a great deal,” Carah grumbled.
“And leaves a lot of unanswered questions,” Artur added.
“But it’s a good starting point,” Herrik affirmed.
“I…I…” I wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what. There was something still missing, something not quite right about what we all just witnessed.
Herrik looked at me full of concern, “What’s wrong? Does it hurt? It can be painful sometimes, especially if you resist.”
I shook my head as if to clear it, “No. I’m fine,” I laid my hand on his thigh and gave him a reassuring squeeze.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it though, that wrongness with what we had all seen. Herrik and the others were talking about discrete ways to interrogate the residents of the upper levels without raising any suspicions. They wondered if any of his old friends still resided there in the compound and if Jesse’s memories might have somehow been restored. Perhaps he had come across one of his old bandmates and convinced them to help him get his revenge.
Herrik was quiet but Carah, Avery and Artur were all presenting theories one after the other. I tried to listen but I was too busy trying to puzzle through my misgivings. Herrik held his hand up and the others quieted down, “Are you sure you’re alright, Emily. I glanced up and happened to catch Avery’s eye before I turned to Herrik, “I’m fi…” I started to say then I let out a hefty sigh thinking that if I could get away it might give Avery and I a chance to speak and that he might be able to help clear up the confusion about the images we had all just shared, “well, maybe I am a little uncomfortable.”
“Do you want to lie down for a bit? You can rest here if you like,” Herrik suggested.
“No, I promised Penny I would have lunch with her today. Maybe if I head back I can get some fresh air along the way and clear my head. I really don’t want to disappoint her again.”
Herrik smiled, “Penny’s going to have to get used to disappointment,” his voice echoed in my thoughts unheard by anyone else. He took my hand and walked me a few steps away from the group, “I’ll come by once we’re done here,” he kissed me goodbye and as I left he made his way back to the others.
I took my time walking home thinking all the while what errand I could send Penny on that would give Avery enough of an opportunity to come talk to me.
“Food, clothes,” Avery had suggested, “Lingerie?” I giggled. It seemed like a viable and a worthwhile endeavor.
When I got home I found Penny folding laundry in her room, “You’re back early,” she said.
“Yeah, Artur just wanted to know what I thought of the opera last night. We’ve been studying Greek tragedies and he was curious about the types of comparisons I would be able to make. Honestly,” I chuckled, “I hadn’t really thought about it until he asked. I just enjoyed the performance and the time I spent with Herrik. I didn’t realize Artur would consider it an educational outing.”
“He would,” Penny smiled back. “So what are your plans now?”
I yawned and stretched, “I think I might go lie down for a bit.”
“Ah,” Penny nodded, her expression implying that she knew very well why I wasn’t feeling rested.
I wasn’t sure how to introduce the topic I chose for sending her out and stood in the doorway biting my lip while trying to come up with a way to ask.
“Is there something wrong?” Penny picked up one of her camisoles from the stack of clean laundry she was working on.
I looked up, “No,” I mumbled then “oh, that’s pretty,” I said and took a few steps forward so I could get a better look. “I wonder if…” I pretended to be too embarrassed to finish the thought.
“Wonder what?”
“If…Herrik would like something like this,” I couldn’t help blushing as I thought about him and about all that we had so recently shared.
“I’m sure he would,” Penny brightened at my reluctant boldness. She came and laid a hand on arm, “You shouldn’t be so embarrassed by what you’re feeling. It’s perfectly natural, especially when it’s so new. It’s exciting and probably all you can think about. He’s…he’s a good man, Emily. I couldn’t imagine you with anyone less.”
“I know. Really I do. Thank you, Penny,” I sighed deeply, “I wish everyone wasn’t so busy. I’m sure Herrik would let us go out together if Avery was free and could come with us. Oh, well,” I started to turn away.
Penny’s natural goodwill took over and she quickly made her offer, “I could go out for you.”
“Really?” I whirled back. I didn’t have to feign my excitement.
“Sure. I have a few things I’d like to get for myself and today is just as good as any other to get them.”
“Oh! Thank you! Thank you!” I gleefully hugged her.
“It’s no problem, really. Just let me finish this up and I’ll head on out.”
“That was too easy,” I thought to myself and feeling guilty I offered to help. There wasn’t much left by the time we finished our conversation and when I yawned again Penny reminded me of my intentions.
“Weren’t you going to lie down?”
“Soon,” I said then I asked her if there was anything she wanted me to do around the apartment while she was gone. She said she couldn’t think of anything then smiling she brusquely shooed me away. I went to my room and after closing the door quickly realized that I was just as tired as I pretended to be. I stretched out on my bed and closed my eyes hoping to get a little rest before Penny left and Avery arrived.
I knew he would try to come as soon as possible but would wait until he was sure Penny was gone before letting me know he was there to talk to me. It didn’t take long for me to doze off and I slept so soundly I didn’t hear my buzzer when it rang. I didn’t hear Carah when she came into the apartment either or when she opened the door to my bedroom. I must have been utterly exhausted from the emotional overload I was under and when she came to the bed and brushed the hair back from my forehead I just smiled happily imagining that it was Herrik standing beside my bed trying to wake me.
“Herrik,” I said dreamily.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Carah apologized. Hearing her voice and not the one I expected abruptly brought me to wakefulness.
“Carah!” I cried out sitting up and clutching my blankets to my chest.
“Yes, Emily. It’s me. It was me!” her voice whispered harshly.
Frowning and full of wonder I started to ask why but in my hazy, half-wake state I suddenly realized that she was holding me in that dreadful mental paralysis similar to what Avery was so adept at. I tried to break free but I was so full of fear that I couldn’t shake her. I tried to cry out for help but she seemed to have control of my voice as well. I couldn’t move, couldn’t scream. All I could do was stare
blankly at her as I tried to figure out what she was doing and why.
“That bullet was meant for you, Emily!”
“Me?”
“Herrik would have had no choice but to try and heal you! I knew he was in love with you! He would have broken every one of his own laws to keep you alive. Then I could have brought him before the council and that would have been that! Herrik’s little haven would have been mine. God, how I would have loved to have pulled that trigger myself! With you gone and Jesse to blame I could have turned them all against having your kind here!” Carah took a deep breath, “But I guess Freya was right when she insisted that I limit my involvement.”
“Freya?”
“Well, there’s no help for it now,” Carah seemed to be bolstering herself for whatever it was she was planning to do. Then suddenly she latched on and for a fleeting moment I knew exactly what her intentions were.
“I need his secrets, Emily,” her mind seemed to say. “I need to know all of Herrik’s secrets and you’re just the one to tell them to me!”
I desperately tried to hang onto them, to cloak my thoughts the way Herrik had taught me. Carah was too strong though. I saw them slipping across my mind’s eye and Carah was drawing them away from me and into herself. I felt my soul crying out to her, “Stop, please stop! You love Herrik! I know you do! How could you do this to him?!”
Then I understood. He had rejected her, more than once. When she finally realized that she would never, could never have him she decided to take the compound as her revenge. What I couldn’t understand was how she thought killing me and destroying Herrik would give her what she wanted. No one would ever follow her once they realized what she had done.
“They’ll never know. No one will ever know,” Carah insisted. “Besides I’m not going to kill you. You’re my insurance. Once I show the council what Herrik has done…all the laws that he has broken…the very laws that he himself made and insisted we follow…he’ll confess if he thinks they’ll spare you. And then it will be over…it will all be over!”